Fantasies and Nightmares

disclaimer: The characters are Marvel's, except for the unnamed main character.
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Fantasies and Nightmares
by Dizi


It started out as a beautifully erotic dream.

My dream started like it usually does. I watch my dream man take off his clothes, revealing to me his strong, agile body. He comes to me, gently touches my face. Kisses me before his hands start exploring my body. My breasts, my belly, everywhere he wants. Everywhere I want him to.

I'm not sure when I knew it was more than a dream, when HE turned it into a nightmare.

He looked into my mind and saw all my fantasies, my private sexual fantasies, and started playing to them. When I opened my eyes I did not see him but the one I had dreamed of for so long. I saw yellow eyes instead of his. I saw the strong lithe body of an acrobat instead of the body of a stranger. He even somehow made me see my dream man's tail.

There is a man I have dreamed of since I first saw him. He does not even know my name. I would never presume to tell him. He is a super hero, though the world knows him as a terrorist. I have been told there are people who are scared of him when they meet him. That he looks like a demon come to earth. I have always found him fascinating. He centers in all my erotic fantasies.

I dreamed of him the first night I met him. Though 'met' is a strong word. I'm a waitress and I served him a drink. Though the sound of his voice sent shivers of want down my through my body, he never even spoke to me, someone else placed the order.

When his friends would come in, I would listen for them to speak of him. For just the smallest mention of his name, I made myself a pest and with these people that's really not very smart.

I wasn't worried. I was never scared of mutants. No, my problem has always been that I am drawn to them. Or is it them to me? I'm not sure. I only know that they have been in my life in one form or another since I was six.

My best friend from the age of six was murdered in front of me because she was a mutant, a telepath. We were both thirteen. That was how it started. To make a long story short (my family problem are not the point) I ended up running away from home. Which made me homeless.

Did you know many of the homeless are mutants? I didn't. They helped me alot. If it wasn't for homeless mutants I would have died living on the streets. Because of them, I survived for three years. It was even one of them that pointed me in the direction of my job, because they said I couldn't take care of myself since I had no mutant abilities to trade on. I was almost eighteen and not legal to work in a bar but they fixed that for me too, because they knew I needed a job to get out.

The job where I serve drinks to a group of mutant super heroes regularly. The job where I met the man I am fascinated by, infatuated with. The man I want with every fiber of my being.

Obviously, mutants had never been my problem.

Perhaps because of having had a telepath for a friend, I am sensitive to having someone in my mind. I knew at some point that I was not dreaming, that someone was putting thoughts, images, feelings in my head. I just didn't have the ability to stop it.

I never saw him clearly because all I saw, all I felt was what he wanted me to see, to feel. My mouth smiled because he wanted it to. My body moved the way he wanted it to. He took complete control of me.

I touched him with my hands, lips, body and felt him touch me. I felt cries of pleasure leave my lips, and in the far reaches, corners, of my mind I was screaming. It was there I begged him to stop, while hearing my own voice beg him to touch me.

I called a name but I know not what name it was. I do not know what all I did to him or he to me. I know I was violated in every way it is possible to be. By my own fantasies, my own dreams, and a complete stranger. I may never know what he looks like, never know his name.

I know at some point he became angry with me. That's when he perverted my dreams and made them the worst kind of nightmares.

He raped me with the image of my fantasies still wrapped around him. When he started hitting me I saw a three fingered hand, though afterwards the bruises proved he had five. He bit me and I saw a fanged mouth, but the bite marks left behind were those of normal teeth. The voice I heard yelling obscenities had a german accent, but the neighbors who called the police heard him clearly and did not notice an accent of any sort.

I'm in counseling now with a man named Charles Xavier, another telepath. He is trying to get past the forced images to the real man, but fears he cannot. He is honest with me about that. He says he believes he may be able to get enough from my mind to get a psychic pattern which would be used to trace him.

I can only hope he does, because I need to know what the man looks like.

You see, I still have dreams and fantasies about him, my dream man. I still go to sleep at night and see his face, call his name. But that same face is in my nightmares as well. I never know which it is until I wake up either hot, with my body wanting his like it always has, or cold, screaming his name and begging him to stop.

I hope they find him. I need to put a real face to my fear.

I have never before feared mutants. Now I both fear and crave the same one.

Both fantasies and nightmares, each with the same name, the same face.


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Did I do good? Let me know.
Dizi