Moment

Disclaimer: I do not own or even rent any Marvel characters. This is purely for entertainment purposes, read the warnings, if this is not your thing, don't read it.

***Huge thanks to TKD for helping me work the kinks out of this one***


Moment: A brief, indefinite interval of time. A moment seemed like such an indeterminate time frame. Two people could share a moment that lasted several minutes, or a person could have a moment of clarity that lasted only as long as a fleeting thought. A moment's distraction could cost a race, or a competition, even a life.

Moment: A particular period of importance, influence, or significance in a series of events or developments. A moment could stay with someone for a lifetime. A moment of bravery could immortalize a person forever in the minds of his peers, regardless of how the rest of his life was spent. In the same vein, the single worst moment of a man's life could condemn him or her despite efforts made for redemption.

Moment: A brief period of time that is characterized by a quality, such as excellence, suitability, or distinction. A life defining moment. Parents tell their children to make wise decisions because a moment can decide the path a life will take. A moment's decision to get behind the wheel after too much to drink. A moment to notice a person no one else does. A moment before leaving the house to tell your loved ones that you care. A moment of weakness that never ends.

Kitty Pryde sat on the floor of her bedroom in Xavier's mansion. She had the place essentially to herself. Xavier and Jean were gone with most of the younger students on a trip. Beast was in charge of the house and the students who'd remained. It was raining outside so almost everyone was downstairs watching movies. She felt an odd sense of peace. She needed time to be alone with her thoughts. It was a rare thing to be in a house without any telepaths around. She felt as if she had true privacy for the first time. She wanted someone to catch her. She felt her guilt and fear consume her. She couldn't imagine how her life, in just a few short days, had taken such a terrible turn.

Kitty had opened the doors to her room's small balcony. It was raining but the small roof that extended halfway over the balcony kept all but the most persistent drops from touching her. The weather was appropriate, and very dramatic. When someone in the movies needed to be seen, filled with grief, or guilt, or indecision, they were usually in the rain. Maybe with a hand pressed up against a cold windowpane. Kitty just stared out into the night. She didn't know how it would end. Either way, she would lose. She'd wanted solitude and had just put on her nightgown and turned off most of her lights, hoping to keep any attempts at socializing at bay.

Tears didn't come until very late, after Kitty had heard most of the other students go to bed. She was alone with her cowardice. She shouldn't be sitting on her carpet, wearing the pretty, pink, silky nightgown that her mother had given her for her seventeenth birthday. She shouldn't be showered, with painted toenails and brushed hair. She should be suited up and out in the rain, slugging it out beside her best friend. She wasn't. She was waiting for the fallout. She had a bag packed and waiting in the closet. She could leave and she probably would. But she needed to suffer a little first. She looked at the clock. It was near Midnight and past time for them to be finished. He'd be all right. She knew they couldn't take him in a fight.

Kitty stretched out her legs in front of her and leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. There was no resolve in her. There was no moment of courage that would bring her to her feet and send her running out into the rain to try to save him. And she knew why. It would be too late. And it would cost too much. The agreement had included her complete absence. If she didn't comply, she would lose more than she was willing. She couldn't do that. Lance was keeping her secret at a high cost. After everything that was going to happen tonight, she'd be damned if she'd allow it to ever be known.

Tears started to fall now as Kitty looked out into the rain. She couldn't see much of anything; she'd dug out her old nightlight and plugged it in. She hadn't wanted any more light than that. She wanted the darkness to swallow her in her shame. As more tears flowed down her cheeks she sniffled slightly, feeling the weight of her actions in the last few days weigh down on her heavily. She could see the white railing of her balcony glowing softly, wetly in the sparse light from her one concession against the darkness. The railing was all white except for a small part that seemed to be missing. She blinked and looked closer. Was her railing broken? She hadn't noticed it during the day, but the top flowed smoothly in a semi-circle but for a sma small spaces where there was just darkness. Then the broken area moved.

Kitty jumped in surprise. Two yellow points of light widened slightly above the railing and she froze, watching with part relief, anx anxious anticipation. Even knowing Kurt was there didn't make it any easier to see him. His feet were curled around the railing, causing it to blend in with the rainy night. His near-invisibility in darkness was compounded by his stillness. He blinked then spoke.

"I was waiting for you to cry." Kurt stayed on the railing and Kitty focused on his eyes. They were the only part of him that she could see. "I've waited a while."

Three days earlier:


“Hey, Kitty!” Lance grabbed her arm outside her history class. She was jumpy and spun around, guiltily.

“What is it, Lance?”

“Come with me.” He pulled her down the hall to an empty corner. No one noticed them; the other students were too busy with the excitement of the end of finals. There were a few days left of the school year, while the tests were graded and the teachers made an effort to retain the students’ attention for a few more classes, preparing them for the following year.

“What do you want?” She asked angrily.

“How did the history test go?” He smiled down at her. She had to swallow a lump that formed in her throat.

“F-fine.” She stammered, cursing herself for stuttering. “Why do you ask?”

“I expected as much after what I saw yesterday.” Kitty felt like her heart was dropping through her stomach. “I honestly never thought you’d be the type.” She remained silent but allowed Lance to put his arm around her and lead her into an empty room. She told herself that there was no way he could know. But he had.

“What do you mean?” She asked, knowing all too well what he was implying. He confirmed her worst fears. He had seen her, in a moment of weakness, doing something she’d never have imagined. She’d been in her history professor’s office when he’d made copies of the final exam. She’d been having some trouble and was trying to get a few points clear with little success. He’d placed the exams in a desk drawer and escorted her out of his office. She’d been desperate. She hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few nights because of studying and found herself standing in an empty hallway outside an office and then she’d been walking through the door and reaching into the desk.

Kitty had never cheated on anything in her life. She’d always been a good student, but this last semester had been distracting for her with the extra courses she'd taken on and her preparations for college. Then she’d had the test in her hands and was looking over it greedily. She’d just needed a few hints and looked over all four pages, trying to memorize the questions. Then she’d stuffed it back in his desk and phased through the floor, dropping down into the girl’s locker room. She’d studied until late in the night and taken the test, confident that she’d remembered everything. Then Lance came and ruined it.

***

"Are you injured?" Kitty couldn't see anything but his eyes; he might have been bleeding.

"The fuck do you care?" His voice was cold. "How long have you been planning this with him?"

"Not long," she whispered. "I was just supposed to get you to show up at the field." She kept back the words that wanted to cry her defense, that she'd had no choice. It wasn't true. She did have a choice and she'd made one that could have cost her best friend a lot. She didn't bother to deny any of it, and she didn't move away from the door.

"Tell me that he threatened " K" Kurt said. "Tell me that he threatened your family or blackmailed you into this." At the last words she flinched.

"He gave me a choice, Kurt," she said. "I could set you up for a last round where I knew you would be outnumbered, or I could…not." She shook her head. "It all comes down to that. I sold you out."

Kurt launched himself off the balcony and through the open doors. He hit Kitty's chest and knocked her back onto the carpet. Looking down into her face he nearly faltered then he flashed back to the events of the day.

***

"Kurt!" Kitty ran up to him with an anxious expression. It was the final day of school, everyone was done now and they had the summer to themselves. She looked a little pale, he wondered if she'd been missing sleep. "Glad I caught you before you went home."

"Aren't you coming?"

"Uh, no I've got some stuff to do before I go home." She glanced off and avoided his gaze.

"Is anything wrong?" He placed a hand on her shoulders and she looked off into the distance. "Kitty?" He rubbed her shoulder with his thumb. It usually relaxed her. Now it seemed to make her more tense.

"Um, can you meet me tonight on the football field?" She looked up into his face aer ger gaze was filled with uncertainty. She was actually nervous around him. "Around Eleven-thirty?"

"Of course, but why?" Wetting her lips nervously, Kitty closed her eyes for a moment before catching the back of his neck with her hand and bringing his face down to hers. Her lips caught his in a most unexpected kiss. Her mouth was trembling but he felt the emotion rolling off her in waves.

"So we can finish this," she whispered against his lips. "Eleven-Thirty." Then she was gone, lost in the crowd of students heading for the parking lot. It had happened so quickly that Kurt could imagine that the moment had never happened. The slight taste of her lip-gloss on his mouth reassured him. Their closeness the last few months had finally come to fruition. They'd stolen a couple of kisses here and there, but the pressures of high school and going off on missions tended to keep them from deeply exploring their feelings. But now there was nothing to stop the

Kurt showed up at the field, despite the rain. He had a bunch of flowers clutched in his hand because he'd felt foolish showing up empty-handed. He hadn't seen her and he'd called out. Then a voice called back, but not the one he'd been expecting. It only took a moment to know he'd walked into a trap.

***


"They were waiting for me, Kitty," Kurt hissed down at her. They were sprawled on her floor and she was crying. "I brought you flowers and they laughed at my stupidity." His voice was wracked with pain and it dripped from his words like the rainwater that fell on her face and arms. He held her by the shoulders. "I was going insane because I didn't know where you were. I could not teleport away and just leave you." He leaned down. "But you weren't there."

***


Kurt was standing in a circle of enemies. He dropped the flowers to the soggy ground. They'd done something to her.

"Where's Kitty?"

"Dunno." Lance stepped forward. "Probably in her room where good little girls are supposed to be."

"If you've hurt her you're not long for this world." Kurt fell into his fighting stance and turned off his image inducer.

"She was never intending to show up here." Lance continued. Pietro was grinning merrily behind him. "I just asked her to get you here."

"I don't believe you." Kurt said. "Where is she?" He had to keep his cool or he'd never find her. Pietro was a blur, then his fist struck Kurt in the stomach. He'd been waiting for this. When Pietro grabbed his shoulders, he teleported to the middle of a lake, at the very limit of his distance. Dumping Pietro in deep water, so that he had to find his way back to them, was only a delay. He would need a head start on Toad, Blob, and Avalanche. Kurt returned in a blink and Toad was on him. They tussled briefly, but Kurt had the advantage of the darkness and his rage over Kitty. The fight didn't last long. He just left Blob in the middle of a field where he too would have to walk back. Divide and conquer. Bullies were only effective en masse.

"Nice flowers, Wagner." Lance was holding the soggy bouquet in his hand. "Did you really think Kitty would want to be with you?"

"Did you hurt her?"

"I told you, she's not here and never had any intention of coming out here. But she gave you a different story." He was grinning. "Apparently she used her considerable charms to get you to come here." The words were pretty complex for a man as simple minded as Alvers.

"Did you hear that in a movie somewhere?" Kurt frowned at him. He didn't appear to be lying, and he should have brought her up as a threat. But he apparently considered himself to be a match for the smaller mutant.

"What did she tell you to get you out here, anyway?" Lance asked. "Did she tell you it would be just the two of you? Maybe a little romance on the football field?"

"She doesn't doublecross teammates."

"She sure did a number on you, man," Toad said from behind him. "Not that I blame you, she's a pretty little piece of ass."

"Shut up." Kurt snarled. Then Lance clenched a fist and the barest tremors began. He was smiling that stupid smile right up to the point where Kurt broke both of his arms.

***

"You were here the whole time." Kurt fisted a hand in her hair and held her head still. "You were here, laughing at me for being stupioughough to fall for your little promises." She grabbed at his wrist automatically, but didn't pull at it or phase away. "You knew exactly how to get me there without any questions." She turned her face away and tears slid down the side of her cheek. She nodded.

"I knew," she whispered. "I knew you wanted me and yes I knew you wouldn't ask any questions. And I was here all night, but I wasn't laughing."

"No," he said, agreeing with her. "You weren't laughing, you were sitting here in your nightgown, waiting for it all to end." His gaze moved over her. "Excellent choice, by the way, the only way you could have looked more innocent was if you were wearing white." He gave her hair another tug. "I'd ask you if you bought it for me, but I know you never had any intentions of letting me see it."

"I did," she sniffled. "I did intend to let you see it sometime." It was a stupid thing to say. But she didn't want him to think that she'd been playing him the whole time. She might as well have been. She could see his face in the dim glow from her nightlight. His features relaxed and he smiled pleasantly at her.

"Oh," he said calmly, releasing her hair. "That's nice." He grasped the pink satin with his strong fingers and rent it down the front. He wanted to burn the fabric. It made her look too pretty and sweet. He wanted to put his hands around her throat and wring an apology from her. But he couldn't accept it. Kitty winced and shut her eyes, grasping for the frayed edges. He pushed her hands away andttenttened his hand against her ribs. "What about this?" he asked, pressing his fingers into her flesh, bruising it. "Were you going to let me see this too?" He looked down at her and moved the mangled remains of the lovely garment to the side until both of her breasts were bared. She nodded, flushing bright red.

"Kurt," she whimpered. "Please."

"Please what?" His eyes were on her chest. He moved his free hand up and over the soft swell. She clutched at his shoulder. It was bare. He must have lost his shirt in the fight. He was still wearing a wet pair of cargoes. "Please stop? Please leave? Please what?" She didn't have an answer, she just made a weak attempt to cover herself, but he shook his head at her with a pitying expression and held her still with his knees on both sides of her legs and one hand holding her slender wrists. He removed the rest of her gown with a couple of jerks and tears. He wasn't trying to bntlentle, just efficient and she winced when the straps dug painfully into her shoulders before giving way.

"It wasn’t supposed to be like this," she whispered, feeling completely vulnerable. But it was what she deserved. She could have phased through his hands, or through the floor, but she didn't. She didn't struggle either.

"I know," he growled, misinterpreting her words. He thought she meant that it wasn’t supposed to be him. She didn't bother to correct him, he wasn't going to believe her, and who could blame him. He ran his fingernails down her side and to her bare hip. "Were you expecting someone else to be here tonight?" She wasn't wearing panties.

"No."

"Were you expecting me?" She nodded. He leaned down and caught one of her tears with his thumb and rubbed her damp skin where it left a trail. "God how I wanted to be the man who could kiss away your tears." His voice was soft and steady. "You have no idea how much I wanted tonight to be special for us." His free hand moved to the front of his trousers and he unbuttoned them. “Fight me, Kitty,” he said. “Tell me to stop.” Kitty squeezed her eyes shut and her chest jerked with the restraint of her sobs. She shook her head. She wouldn’t call out for help. She wouldn't ask him to stop. He didn't. “Run away now.”

Kurt took his erection out of his pants at the same time he moved one leg between hers. His tail wrapped around her knee and bent it up and away from her body. He shoved one of his fingers between her lips, swirling it around her tongue before removing it and putting it between her legs, pushing inside her. The red haze that covered his vision hadn't abated yet and he was still feeling the pain of the injuries he'd sustained. Her body felt soft and warm inside. He told himself that she never would have let him do it. When he imagined this moment between them, it hadn't been like this. He removed his finger and held her face still, wetting her cheek with the damp digit.

Kurt forced Kitty to look up at him when he pushed inside. She made a sound through his palm and fresh tears pricked at her eyes. Being inside her was more amazing that he'd imagined. She was so snug and warm around him. He looked down at Kitty and, for a moment, felt the twist of love and hate, warring inside him. He had never been more enraged, more in love, more righteous, or more sorry than this moment. Her body was tense with pain but he paid it no mind as he worked his anger out on her slim form. It was his first time and it was with the woman he'd cared more about than anyone. And he was holding her down and hating her, not loving her.

Kitty was so tight that it wasn't long before Kurt reached his climax. It was the most intense sensation he'd ever experienced. It was more powerful and terrible than anything else. A moan tore loose from his throat as he moved his pelvis against hers. He took his hand away from her mouth. It was red where he'd gripped her so tightly. Then he released her wrists and stood up, drawing himself out of her. immeimmediately pulled her legs together and rolled sideways on her hip. Kurt stood above her, fastening his pants. She reached for the torn garment that he'd discarded. His long tail snaked out and picked it up, dropping it in her lap. The spaded tip brushed her cheek briefly and moved under her chin, lifting her gaze to his. Neither moved for many heartbeats. Neither spoke, they just waited for the agony of this one moment to pass.

Kurt left without another word. He went off the balcony, the way he'd come in. Kitty stood on shaky legs and shut the glass doors behind him. She picked up a towel and soap and phased through the door, walking to the bathroom, and went directly into the shower. She scrubbed her skin, wanting to rid herself of the sick feeling in her stomach. She washed between her legs gingerly, not surprised to see a little blood on her thighs and continued to wash until the sticky fluid stopped seeping out of her. Then she went back to her room and turned on the light, taking her bag from the closet. She got dressed slowly in jeans and a t-shirt, e-mailed Hank and the Professor and walked out of the mansion.

Kurt lay in his bed until dawn. He was in some pain, but it only served to remind him that he hadn't dreamed the events of the night and early morning. His mind was in turmoil but he felt mostly numb. He hated her, and he loved her. He needed to know the whole story, and yet he didn't want to think he was wrong. He wasn't a virgin anymore. He'd had sex with his best friend on her carpet. Why didn't she stop him? Logan had made certain that all of the girls knew every dirty trick there was to know on how to defend against sexual assault. Not to mention the fact that she was a gifted fighter on her own. She hadn't used her powers either. She could have become intangible and he'd have been unable to touch her. But she hadn't. She hadn't asked him to stop, she hadn't fought him, and she hadn't really even pushed him away. She'd just lain beneath him on the floor, as if what he was doing to her was some kind of penance. It didn’t excuse what he’d done, and didn’t acquit her.

Maybe it was guilt that had made Kitty accept his anger, Kurt didn't know. He had almost hoped that she would try to stop him. If she'd asked him, he would have. He'd needed to cause her some pain, now he had his wish. He wasn't sure, but he thought it was her first time too. He turned on the lamp beside his bed and took off his pants. There was one way to know. He teleported to the bathroom and dipped a white washcloth under the faucet. He washed his genitals and held the cloth under one of the light bulbs. He frowned, not certain why it mattered, when he saw the rusty blood on the wet cloth- it didn't show up against his dark skin. He showered and checked himself for any serious injuries.

When Kurt got back to his room, he caught the sound of a car pulling out of the garage. He went to his window and saw Kitty's battered Volvo moving toward the gates. He felt something in che chest. Maybe it was regret, maybe it was pleasure, but he just lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.