Inner Conflicts

Inner Conflicts- Part 8 Inner Conflicts Part 8 Satu was was a gloomy day.  The rain fell heavily, and inside, all the residents sat in chairs or were locked up in their rooms. Evan sat at the kitchen table, face hiding behind his hands.  He let out what sounded like a remorseful sigh. He rubbed his face and wearily looked at the figure before him. "I don't know what possessed you to think that way. . . but you have never been, or will ever be, a coward." The head of black hair moved from the arms that cushioned it. "But. . . I am." //I couldn't even go through with what I was planning on doing last night.// Dark eyes peered out from the curtain of dark hair as his head lifted up, resting chin against his forearm. //The knife was there, against his wrist. He slowly counted to three. One. . . two. . . . . . . . . . . . three. . . . . .// But he couldn't do it.  He couldn' go through.  The thought of the pain held him back.  And the thought of his parent's pain. And his friends. He was too much of a coward to ignore the feelings of the people around him. Instead, with trembling hands, he had set the knife down, and let the tears that were brimming his eyes fall down his cheeks. Both hands had covered his face to muffle out the soft sobs that echoed in the bathroom walls. "Hello! Spyke to the blue fuzzy dude!" Kurt sat up straight, blinking owlishly. "Man, you really spaced out there," said Spyke, frowning. "Sorry.  I vas just thinking. . ." Scott barged into the kitchen.  "Suit up!  We've got some trouble." "What is it?" Spyke asked. Scott frowned.  "Seems that some of the recruits got involved in a scuffle with the Brotherhood." Kurt froze. //Oh, no. . .// X Construction sites always attracted teens and preadolescents who wanted adventure. Which is why Bobby, Jubilee, Ray, and Sam were currently found fighting against Lance, Todd, Fred, and Pietro. Tabatha stood on the sidelines, chewing on her gum, an umbrella in her hand.  She stuck out her hand, feeling that the rain had settled down to a very light drizzle. The members of the Brotherhood had deemed the site as their personal hanging grounds.  They weren't thrilled to find some of the newer X-geeks exploring their territory. So when they tried to chase them out, the other four fought back, leaving them in their current state. "Come on!" shouted Tabatha.  "It's just a damn construction site.  No need to level the whole place. And it's wet!" "But it's our place, yo," responded Toad, leaping out of the way of a ball of ice. Tabatha rolled her eyes.  "This show of testosterone is stupid," she responded. "And the rest of the geek squad is arriving."  Tabitha made a quick departure. While she was no longer with the Institute, some of the mutants there were okay with her.  And she'd rather not get involved with any scuffles that would cause some animosity with them. Lance stood still from where he was standing, scanning the group that just arrived.  He let out a smirk as he spotted his current prey. Kurt was currently hiding behind Scott, looking his way.  Judging by the looks on the faces of the rest of the team, they still had no idea of what was going on. Pietro, upon seeing them, immediately targeted his favorite targets...Spyke and Scott.   Lance growled and shook his head.  It was the same thing over and over again.  Pietro would taunt Scott and then Jean would send him flying into something. Lance dodged out of the way as a green blue sailed over his head. "Well," he muttered to himself.  "That was quicker than usual." A girlish screech caught his attention as Toad was thrown over Kurt's shoulders. Lance used his semisonic powers to break the muddy ground underneath Toad to soften his fall. The new girl, Jubilee, sent a few of her sparks to torch Toad. The smaller mutant barely had enough time to leap away. Bobby was caught off guard when Freddy came charging at him.  Kitty, use to this, grabbed Bobby and both of them phased through Freddy's body as the bigger mutant came toppling to where they were standing. "Gross!" shouted Bobby, being his first t Bo Both of them were knocked off their feet when Freddy rolled over to sit up. Lance moved through the iron beams, watching his partners and waiting for his chance to nail Scott. Even though he had been trying to go out with Kitty, Scott still got on his nerves and he looked forward to these encounters for the change to one up the stuck up preppy boy. "Alvers!" he heard his enemy shout. Lance winced inwardly.  He hated it when they called it by his last name.  "Hey, Summers," he responded. "Call off your goons." "Nuh-uh.  We were here first. If anything, you should take the kiddies back home." The one named Bobby made as if to lunge towards him. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. Lance hid the smirk that was threatening to appear on his face.  Poor Kitty.  That crush she had on him was working out to his advantage. "Like, what were you all doing here anyway?" she asked them, unhappy with constantly being forced to fight against Lance. "Man, we were just looking," said Ray. "Well, you guys don't belong here either," said Scott, glaring at Lance. Lance rolled his eyes.  "Hey, Summers, we didn't do anything wrong.  We were just chillin' here.  But if you don't believe us, then let the truth shake you up!" The ground underneath all the teens began to tremble. Jubilee, Ray, Bobby, and Sam all fell to the ground, unprepared for the force that Lance could release. "Alvers, are you crazy?!" shouted Scott, releasing his lasers to knock away falling debris. Jean gasped and then used her powers to shield those next to her. "Lance, you idiot!" shouted Kitty, as a wheelbarrel nearly plowed into her. "Yo, man, what are you trying to do?" screeched out a mud caked Toad. Lance stopped using his powers upon realizing his error. Tools left behind up in the iron beams fell to the ground.  A large crane holding up some iron beams was swaying dangerously. A resounding snap was heard and the beams began to fall, crashing into the ones that were already bolted in as part of the building structure. Some of those bent and snapped, sending more metal crashing to the floor. This time, the floor shoothouthout the aid of Avalanche. "Look out!" shouted Scott, leaping out of the way. Everyone scrambled to move out of the way. Kitty used her powers to phase through falling metal, and Jean used hers to move cast the beams aside. Theain ain was obvious on both of them. Kurt  shoved Jubilee in one direction, and ported into another. He reappeared less then five feet away from Lance. . . and directly under several falling concrete blocks. Lance lunged at Kurt  and grabbed him around the waist.  Both of them tumbled to the floor as the blocks crashed right where they had stood. Then everything was over. Clouds of dust from broken bags of dry concrete began to settle. Lance stared down at the stunned pale blue eyes looking up at him.  He let a small smile play on his lips as he wiped a bit of mud off of Kurt's face.  "I'll be at the park later today, if you wanna talk," he said. With that, Lance stood up quickly. "Come on, let's go before the police arrive!" he shouted. "Good idea!" agreed Toad, leaping away. "Alvers is right.  We better go," said Scott, ushering the younger teens towards the X-Jeep and X-Van. Kurt slowly stood up, his eyes staring at the direction that the Brotherhood had left. "Kurt, come on!" he heard Evan call out. Kurt ported into the van. Both vehicles left before the sirens of emergency vehicles were even heard. X Kurt picked at his plate. It was a quarter after one and everyone was in the dining area, enjoying their lunch. Well, except for the foursome that were awaiting their punishment. Kurt forced himself to eat what was on his plate. The earlier porting, even though it was only a few feet, had left him feeling tired.   Even though his mind told him he didn't feel like eating, his body said otherwise. A piece of bread bounced into his plate. Kurt looked up and narrowed his eyes at an innocently smiling Evan. Glancing around and making sure no one saw him, he flicked a carrot slice at the other mutant. Kitty let out a startled yelp as something small and hard hit her hand. Looking around, she caught sight Evan laughing. She threw an olive at him. . . and war broke loose. Logan made a quick exit while Hank McCoy tried to get the kids to settle. Kurt ported out of the kitchen to avoid an incomplatplate of potato salad. He chuckled to himself outside the kitchen door, where shouts of victory and dismay were heard from inside.   His smile faded. For one brief moment, things felt as if they were back to normal.   Kurt looked out through a nearby window. The sky was still cloudy, but the rain had stopped. He needed to know. He  checked to make sure his hologram watch was working, took a deep breath, and ported out of the Institute. X The rain had started again when Kurt ran up into a Gazebo, seeking shelter. //What am I doing here? //he asked himself. // This is insane!  I'm trying to stay away from Lance, not look for him. Maybe I should go back to the Institute and pretend I never came here.// Kurt turned to leave and stopped. Lance was here, and he was climbing up the steps. Kurt took a  couple steps back, his heart pounding. Lance just glanced at him, and moved to the side of the gazebo.  He placed his arms on the banister and looked out into the rain. "So. . . " he said. "What is it that you want to know?" Kurt stayed on the other side of the structure, keeping a wary eye on the mutant he and his team had just fought against. "How did you know I vanted to ask you something?" Lance looked at him.  "When we were on the ground. . . your eyes kind of had that look, but you were too stunned to say anything." Kurt glanced away. "Vhy?" "Why what?" "Vhy did you save me?" Lance turned his body around, his elbows and back resting against the fencing.  His face was one of seriousness. . . and that made Kurt nervous. "Just because I hang out with the Brotherhood doesn't make me that villainous.  I like you, Kurt.  And people just don't let the ones they like get hurt." "Like you did at the dance?" asked Kurt, growing angry. Lance shook head.ead.  "I was drunk.  You were drunk.  I lost control.  You had none.  I'm sorry our, uh, first time had to be like that.  But I'm not sorry that it happened." "Vhat?!" "If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have realized how much I really liked you.  And that I spent a lot of wasted time chasing Kitty when I should have been chasing you." Kurt sputtered in disbelief. "Chase me?" His anger gave way back to nervousness when Lance stepped towards the center of the gazebo. Kurt went on full alert, ready to move in either direction if Lance stepped any closer. Lance paused, not wanting to scare the German youth away. He let out a small chuckle.  "I just realized.  I find it easier to talk to you when you're in your human form." "Vhy? Because I scare you in my true form?" Lance shook his head.  "I told you, Blue boy.  I think you look exotic in blue.  Being that close to beauty tends to make me nervous.  But I like you like this, too.  You look cute." Kurt felt flabbergasted. Lance reached out for h Kur Kurt pulled back, body tense. Lance lowered his arm, stepping closer.  "Sorry. . . didn't mean to startle you." Kurt's grip on the banister behind him was tight as Lance stood next to him.  The taller mutant went back to looking out at the rain. "I saved your life, Kurt.  The least you could do to thank me is give me a chance to show you I mean it." "Von't a simple thanks suffice?" asked Kurt. Lance threw him a predatory grin. "Only if it involved a lot of tongue and groping." Kurt blanched. "T-tongue? No va Kur Kurt raised his arms to back away, and Lance took that opportunity to grab him around the wrist and yank him forward. Kurt yelped as he lost his balance and fell into Lance's arms. "It doesn't have to be right away," said Lance, his voice low. "I'd just rather have something more permanent than a one night fling." Kurt's human image faded away. Lance's grip around him was firm, but not tight. And Kurt realized how cold he had become when he became aware of the heat coming off of Lance. "You need to dry up or you'll catch a cold," said Lance, a gentle hand running through Kurt's wet hair on the back of his head. That same hand trailed downwards under Kurt's chin, lifting his head up to face Lance. Gentle lips touched his . . . and then they were gone. Kurt stared wide-eyed as Lance walked out into the rain.   "I'll see ya Monday after class," he heard him call out. Kurt remained silent, his confusion increasing.  His chest heaving for air, he realized that he had wanted Lance to hold him for just a bit longer. //My god, what is wrong with me?// A few moments later, Kurt ported away. X "Hey, Kurt, where were you? I've been looking all day for you," said Even, when Kurt suddenly ported into his room.  "Ugh, you're dripping on my carpet!" "Sorry," said Kurt. He gave Evan a twisted grin.  "I just realized.  I'm not a coward." "Duh." "I think I'm a masochist!" With an almost hysterical laugh, Kurt ported away, leaving behind one very confused mutant. X Kurt held onto his pillow tightly, rocking himself. The only ones to have ever embraced him in a loving manner were his parents.  They made him feel safe.  Yet Lance. . . Lance managed to provoke a need of touch.  That was what he had wanted.  He wanted, no, needed,  someone to hold him without being afraid. Kurt laughed to himself, bitterly.  He wasn't expecting a guy to do that. . . much less one that had been a rival to Kitty's affections. Kurt lay down on his side. Tomorrow was Sunday, and then Monday.  He would see Lance again. The thought filled him with anxiety.  But  was it fear or excitement?  He would find out then, and knowing that he would then have an answer scared him. tbc