Like a Root Canal

I like that. I like leaving them curious, wanting more. Rogue was different because of her age and lack of experience and her general animosity towards me, but it all ran along the same theme, really. And when I left her last night, I could feel her eyes boring holes in my back, as well as a few other places. She wants me whether or not she's willing to admit it yet.

Can't say I blame her.

Rogue's overall appeal stems from her desperate virginity. She wants to experience physical contact but cannot due to her mutation, and as a woman I suppose that she must require that her partners are at least somewhat conscious during their lovemaking. I sympathize. My particular mutation allows me some flexibility in that area, of course, but the fact remains that the girl is trapped in one hell of a situation and can't morph her way out. And that pathetic little boyfriend of hers won't be any help.

She needs a woman, really, or at least some facsimilie. It was unfortunate that I hadn't some sort of toy with me last night. I can't touch her, but that doesn't mean she should have to do all the work herself.

The girl thinks I'm an absolute fiend, I'm certain of it. I'm also fairly sure that she wasn't aware of what I was doing before I crept up beside her. Oh, I don't mean the campfire--I mean the seduction of her knight-in-shining-armor. It was unsuccessful but I expected that; Logan may be a brute but he isn't an idiot and I'm completely aware of the fact that he probably sniffed me out the second I entered his tent. Possibly even prior to that. He let me come in, he let me sink onto his gorgeous body, and when I kissed him, he kissed me back. Not Jean Grey. Not the good doctor. Me, Raven. Oh, he was entertaining a fantasy, but the fact remains that he knew it even then. It was only after his fingers shivered along the surface of my scar that the dream shattered too completely for him to handle; previously it had only been trembling in the wake of my scent and whatever other personal details I hadn't masked successfully.

He pushed me away then, and I missed his body instantly. It felt as good as I'd expected it to when I first saw him on Liberty Island two years ago, all rock-hard muscle and brute strength beneath me and my control...if only for a moment.

I'll try again, perhaps as myself--perhaps as someone else. If he won't take me as I am, he can take me as I'm not. I won't mind.

I win either way.

I find Dr. Grey rather unappealing, but the opportunity was too good when I wandered out into the forest later that night and came upon her urinating behind a bush. She hadn't seen me yet so I shifted into Logan's familiar form and approached.

"Jean?"

She screamed, but I'd expected that.

"Shh, Jean. Sorry, geez--didn't mean to scare ya like that."

"Logan?" The moon was behind me, so I suppose I was just shadows to her. All the better.

"Yeah. Hi."

Dr. Grey stood up clumsily. "You should know better than to sneak up behind me like that, Logan."

"I didn't sneak up behind you," I replied, shuffling about in what I imagined to be a very Logan-esque manner. "I was comin' out to take a piss myself."

"Charming." She pushed past me, irritated at having been caught in such an embarrassing situation. Everybody knows that real ladies don't pee in the woods.

With Dr. Grey the ruse was a little more complicated--if she suspected who I actually was, I am quite sure that she would have tried to hurt me. And fighting a telekinetic is different than sparring somebody like Logan, somebody who relies on physical strength. It's harder.

I followed after the woman, concentrating on the way Logan swaggers when he walks and how heavy his steps seem. "Jean, wait."

She spun around on her heel and glared at me. "I don't have time for this tonight."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about earlier, I'm sorry about...about everything. It's just that I've never known anybody like you, not ever."

Her face softened, smooth and alabaster in the moonlight.

"I mean it, Jean."

"I know you do."

"You feel it too, don't you?" I approached her slowly, sliding my hands down her forearms to tangle her fingers in my own.

"Stop."

"You can't deny it."

She shook her head, and I wasn't sure whether to take that as a gesture of agreement or frustration. "Logan, go to sleep."

I let my hands glide down to the small of her back, pulled her close. Her eyes locked with mine, wide and green and glassy with obvious desire. I touched her then, and I could tell from her reaction that she'd never let the Wolverine get quite so far before. My hand slipped under her sweater to touch one soft, cool breast, a nipple pressing against my palm.

A low, appreciative purr escaped my throat. Dr. Grey gasped, a sharp intake of air that ended like a hiss.

"That's it, baby," I whispered, sounding perhaps a little too much unlike Logan for her comfort. She recoiled slightly.

"Don't."

After she'd returned to the campsite, I realized how much I'd appreciated that brief sensation of her body against my own, stiff and unforgiving as it was. I haven't been with another woman for a long time.