Moment

Logan flew at top speed to Xavier’s and Hank met them at the medical bay to help settle the patients. After Trask was secured in a cell and the new patients were settled and guarded, Kitty retired to one of the guest bedrooms. She was surprised to see her suitcase sitting on the bed. Kurt must have gone back to the hotel at some point to get it. She was tired but took a shower before climbing into bed. She didn’t bother with her nightgown, and didn’t care if Hank called her down to the medical lab naked.

Kitty slept for a few hours before she woke. It was still dark outside and the clock read Four A.M. She wasn’t certain what had brought her out of sleep, but a feeling of uneasiness stole over her and she sat up, letting the covers fall to her waist. Kurt was sitting in a chair across the room, visible only because of the shorts he was wearing and because her eyes were adjusted to the dark. He was leaning forward and had his elbows resting on his thighs with his chin on his steepled fingers.

Kitty wondered if she was still dreaming and swung her legs over the side of the bed; the carpet felt real under her toes. She stood and walked toward him. He didn't move but his eyes stayed on her. If no one spoke, she could do this. She'd had a boyfriend in college. They hadn't had sex, but they'd done other things. Things she intended to do now. She dropped quietly to her knees between Kurt's legs. He was still, like a statue. She slid her palms up his thighs and he relaxed his posture, leaning back in the chair. She found him with her hands and stroked him through his shorts. With a quick tug, she phased them away. He was already semi-hard. No words, she thought, lowering her lips to the tip of his penis. She licked her lips then sucked him into her mouth wog heg her tongue on him until he was stiff and throbbing.

Kurt had watched Kitty sleeping, he knew when she was waking, but he hadn't expected her to come to him this way. Her hands were soft, her mouth was wet and hot, and he was weak because he still wanted her after all these years. Her pale body looked so right between his spread legs, worshipping him with her mouth. He hated himself for being unable to distance himself from her. It had taken only a few hours of her company before he was letting her back in again.

Kitty rose to her feet before sitting on is lap, facing him, and moving her hips forward until her moist sex was touching him. Then Kitty wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her torso to his, lifting herself until the tip of him was just at her entrance. He moved his hips involuntarily but she held herself out of reach. He gripped the seat of the chair tightly and looked away, gritting his teeth. Then she spoke to him.

“Tell me to stop,” Kitty said softly. Kurt turned and met her gaze. His face was a mask of strain. She wasn’t mocking him. “Push me away, teleport, do something.”

Her legs were shaking as she lowered herself so that the tip of his erection slipped inside her. He tensed and she placed one of her hands on the side of his face and pulled it close. “I’ll stop if you ask.” She waited a heartbeat, then another, then she kissed him. Her lips crushed his at the same time her body slid down onto him. Kurt let out a groan into Kitty's mouth. His hands moved around her waist and he squeezed her tight trying to hold her still. She flexed her internal muscles on him then and he gasped. She braced her feet on the floor and started to ride him, moving up and down, grinding her pelvis in a circle.

"Sie sind Himmel und Hölle."* He whispered, breaking the kiss and bucking his hips up. They moved together; slightly awkward at first until they found a rhythm that pleased them both. He rocked her in the chair and she arched her back, finding the deepest possible penetration. She was so slick and tight around him that he fought for control. “Why are you doing this?” he gasped.

"You wouldn't believe me--ahh--if I told you, so don't--mmm--listen, just feel me."
He did. He felt her clamp around him with every fiber and every muscle in his body. He came with a shout and buried his face in her neck. With his hands on her buttocks, he moved her up and down him a few more times until he was sated. When they both stopped shaking, Kitty untangled their sweaty limbs. She started to rise but he held her sides for a moment, wanting to keep her with him for a little longer. She stopped and rested her hands on his shoulders as he pressed his forehead between her breasts and breathed in their intermingled scents. After the moment had passed, he let his hands drop to his sides and she lifted herself off him. She ran a hand through her hair and picked up a towel from her chair and wrapped it around herself before walking into her bathroom and turning on the shower.

Kurt sat in the chair, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal. Kitty had told him not to listen to her but to feel her. He blocked out all of her words and just remembered her hands on him, her mouth on his, and the feeling of being engulfed by her tight warmth. If he went with what he felt, he knew she'd wanted him. She displayed it in every touch, soft and hard, every noise she let out and every gesture her body made to his.

Kitty hadn't closed the bathroom door and he walked in and pulled back the curtain. She was sitting in the tub, letting the shower's spray wash over her. She was curled up with her arms hugging her knees. She was crying. Kurt got into the tub with her and gathered her into his arms. He forgot sometimes how small she was, particularly when she was kicking ass. Now she just looked vulnerable and sad. She leaned her wet head against his chest and clung to him. He rubbed her arms soothingly and pressed his lips to her hair. He didn't know what to say to her. It was his nature to offer comfort, even to someone he’d been trying to avoid.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." The words were followed by another bout of crying. “I’ve spent the past three years being sorry.”

“I know,” he said. “I know you’re hurting over what happened and I know there’s more to the story. Please tell me.” Kitty hesitated, then she nodded. They got out and dried off, Kitty wrapped another towel around herself and Kurt slid his shorts back on. They sat on Kitty's bed, facing each other and she started talking.

“Lance stopped me in the hallway coming out of my history final at the end of senior year.” Her voice wavered at first but she took a steadying breath and cleared her throat. “He’d caught me using my abilities to break rules and told me that he could wreck my future. I panicked but he promised he wouldn’t say anything if I did him a favor.” She dropped her gaze. “At first he hinted that he wanted me to sleep with him and I was completely horrified. I spent two days worrying about it before he told me what he wanted.”

“To get me alone.”

“Yes. I wasn’t sure why. I mean, I know you’ve had your run-ins with them over the years, but why he singled you out was a mystery at first.” She looked up at him. “It was because of me. He told me in the hospital that he’d seen us getting closer and resented you.”

“So he wanted to beat me u
“
“It sounded so stupid to me,” Kitty said. “Like some pissing contest or something. And I told him that he’d never been able to beat you before so why did he think he could now?”

“But you did it anyway.” Kurt’s voice was bland.

“Yes. I did,” she said. “I was scared about my future and let my best friend walk into a fight where he was outnumbered.” She started to turn away, but he placed a gentle hand on her arm. “I made you think I was going to be there, waiting for you so we could…um. Well, you know what I was implying.” She placed her palm against his cheek. “It was where our friendship had been progressing for some time and I didn’t think you would question me.”

“We’d never talked about it, not really," he said, then his tone changed. “Were you really considering having the fuzzy guy in your bed?” He tried to sound lighter, like he was joking.

“Yeah. I was going to stick around here for the summer before college and have a wild, torrid affair with you before going to Chicago in the fall.”

“Seriously?” He looked surprised

“Yeah.” Kitty nodded. “And I was kind of hoping you’d come visit every so often for a torrid weekend here and there.” Kurt grinned then the smile fell from his face.

“That night was awful on so many levels,” he said quietly. “I was in so much pain, most of it was emotional, then I came to your balcony and you were just sitting there. You looked so still and quiet and perfect.” His eyes were unreadable. “I was soaked and sore from a fight and I’d been expecting o find you missing, or injured. But you weren’t.” Kitty’s face crumpled and tears ran down her cheeks. “You were sitting there in that little pink wisp of satin, you were staring out at the rain and I waited for you to show some kind of remorse or guilt. I remember catching a whiff of your shampoo and I think that’s what did it.” He shook his head. “You were so clean, and I was soaked and filthy with torn clothes. And in that moment I hated you.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I’m not looking to be absolved for my anger,” he said. She nodded silently. “But what I did afterward never should have happened.” He took her face in his hand and forced her to look at him. “Why did you let me do it?” he asked. “Were you afraid I’d hurt you?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I was waiting for you to come and I knew our friendship was over. I had no idea what to expect from you. I was feeling sorry for myself because I'd always thought I was pillar of moral strength. I just sat there wondering why I wasn't out there beside you instead of in my room, I figured out the answer just before you got there." She took another slow breath. "I'm basically a coward. I'd rather go into a fight where I'm outnumbered and likely to get hurt than stand up in front of people I respect and tell them that I've done something wrong."

"You'd risk physical danger over public embarrassment?"

"I was a teenager, nothing is worse than that." She shrugged weakly. "I waited for you and the tears that you were watching for were all self-pity."

"You weren't worried about me?"

"Not really," she admitted. "Not because I didn't care, but because The Brotherhood had fallen apart without decent leadership and there was no way those four idiots could have taken (i)me(i/) in a fight. You've been better than them for years and I didn't think they had much of a chance against you."

"Your vote of confidence comes a little late."

"I was a shallow, stupid, self-interested bitch."

"But you waited for me."

"I figured you deserved a parting shot," she said. "And I asked my mom for the nightgown as a birthday present because I knew that there would be a night that I'd be waiting for you to come to my room." Her voice betrayed her misery. "That night should have been special. I think I selfishly wanted you to see me before I left so you'd remember me like that." She shuddered slightly.

"You wanted to use your sexuality as an edge." It wasn't a question.

"Not consciously, at least not as means to trick you again. I didn't fight you because deep down I figured it was the last time you and I would ever speak." She wiped her tears away impatiently. "When you asked me to stop you I couldn't. I'm not sure exactly what my reasons were, but if it was going to be our last meeting…" her voice gave out and she swallowed carefully, clearing her throat. "I don't know. But I wasn't afraid of you, not really."

"Perhaps you should have been," he said. "I was pretty close to homicidal."

"Would you have stopped if I asked."

"Yes." His answer was immediate. "I wanted you to stop me because it would have proven that I was right about you."

"Whatever horrible thing you were thinking were accurate, " she sighed. "While you were...you know, when we were-"

"There was no we," Kurt cut in bitterly. "It was me doing it."

"Fine, while...um, you know."

"Just say it."

"Fucking," she blurted out. The next words came tumbling out in a rush. "While you were fucking me I remember thinking that we were right where we were supposed to be, but at the same time, it was all wrong." She put her head in her hands. Her nerves were jarred and she was very uncomfortable. "Didn't want my first time to be with anyone else, but I felt like I'd made you into someone else." She let out a sigh. She hadn't expressed herself perfectly, but her feelings were out there now and he could do what he wanted with them now. Another rush of tears came, but these were tears of relief. She couldn't stop her eyes from leaking and she started to wipe her cheeks but Kurt held her wrists and looked her in the eye.

"Don't wipe them away or try to hide them," he said. "These are the ones I was waiting for on the balcony." She cried harder. "These are (i)my(i/) tears and I want them." Kitty cried harder and Kurt held her there, just watching until her sobs turned to hiccups and she grabbed a handful of tissues. She went to the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the sink. She splashed some cold water onto her face with shaky hands.

When Kitty looked up in the mirror, Kurt was standing behind her. "It should have been different between us," he said, stepping forward and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I was more angry than I've ever been in my life. I shouldn't have gone near you in that state." He brushed her hair off one shoulder and lowered his lips, touching them briefly to her skin. "I should have waited until morning, or at least until I was a little clearer."

"I'd have done the same thing in your shoes," Kitty said, placing her palms flat on the sink. "I'd have been angry and gone looking for the one responsible. I'd have lashed out in hurt and anger just like you."

"You didn't deserve what I did." He rested his hands on her hips and left a set of feather-light kisses along her shoulder and up her neck where he nuzzled her ear, feeling goosebumps rise. "I didn't tell Logan or Xavier about what happened with Lance because I was afraid he would go to you and you would tell him about what happened between us." He bit her lightly and she shivered. He ran his hands around the front of her and pressed against her from behind. His voice was still whisper-soft against her ear. I have many regrets about my life, Katzchen, many things I'd like to take back, but few as much as that night."

"Kurt, I'm the last person to judge someone else's character based on their worst moment." She closed her eyes and let her head fall to the side. "A person who leads a good and decent life for years can have a moment of rage that results irderrder and spend the rest of his life in jail, but a person who willingly hurts those around him is not redeemed by a single, unselfish act." She felt his hands move to the top of her towel and loosen it. He let it fall over the sink and his hands began to explore her breasts with a softer touch than he'd used on her in a long time. "Maybe those moments aren't set apart from who we are, but a reminder of what we are capable of."

"Therein lies the question," he said, pressing his growing erection against his backside. "Are we what we are capable of?"

"I don't know," she admitted. Kurt's hands became bolder and he loosened his shorts, letting them fall to the floor. "Perhaps the deeds are there, waiting for a catalyst to bring them to the surface- ohh!" Kurt's tail slid up the inside of her thigh and brushed the damp curls at the apex. "Or maybe they are detours from ourselves and we just need to find a way back from them." She turned her head and Kurt caught her chin, kissing her on the mouth. He stroked her body with his other hand and his tail. He was rock hard against her bottom and throbbing with need.

Kurt made a feeble attempt to reign in his desire for Kitty. Her skin was so smooth and her damp hair felt cool against his cheek. The soft noises she was making did unholy things to his libido. He brought one of his thick fingers up to her lips and she opened her mouth, sucking the digit in. She wrapped her tongue around it and pulled it in as far as it would go, then he removed it and used the moisture from her mouth to stroke the swelling bud between her legs. When his fingers found her there, she pushed her hips back and moaned. He worked on her with his hand while using the other to rub and squeeze her breasts.

Kitty had to grip the sink for support when her legs started to shake. Kurt slid a finger inside her, now slick from arousal. He focused all of his attention on bringing her pleasure and penetrated her deep while continuing to rub her sensitive clitoris with his thumb. He kissed and licked at her ear and whispered to her in a low growl.

"I can't stay away from you, mein liebe. Was always weak where you were concerned." She began to move impatiently against his hand, her skin becoming damp and flushed with perspiration. "Never had this kind of need, never wanted anyone so much." She was pushing back against him, her body pleading, without words, for completion. He nudged her legs apart and removed his finger, replacing it with the swollen head of his erection. He pushed inside her smoothly, the angle allowing for deep thrusting.

Kitty moaned loud and reached back to grasp Kurt's buttocks and try to drive him deeper inside her. He chuckled with amusement and held fast to her hips, pumping in and out with the pace and intensity that she was craving. He flattened his chest against her back and his tail tightened around her thigh, slipping up to rub her clitoris. Kitty came with a scream that was echoed by Kurt's when he came a second later. Their knees were weak and they both slid to the floor in a heap, breathing heavily.


*(You are Heaven and Hell)