Constant Craving

CONSTANT CRAVING CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply


A/N Foxfeather is still a goddess and Ted is her willing love slave. Just thought I'd spread the word... ;) InterNutter, TC and Maxwell Pink get e-cookies and e-milk for archiving. Vampyre: You're sooooooooooo evil. Readers/Reviewers: Okay. I talked the Killer Kitties (tm) out of the thongs...er...out of wearing the thongs on the grounds that they had no where to put their tails in them. Costuming issues aside, the critters are organizing a ball in y'all's honor...they like reviews. The platypi are even carving ice sculptures. The ducks are less amused-they wanted to carve sculptures from canned pumpkin since we're lousy with it due to Thanksgiving coming up...I tried to explain canned pumpkin isn't good for carving, but when have you ever known a duck to listen?


Jamie twisted the edge of the pillow in his hands, eyes wide. _ I will not scream like a girl. I will not scream like a girl. I will not scream like a_... "AAAAAAAAAH!" The unlucky owner of the hand that had descended on his shoulder found themselves nearly deaf.
"Fuck! I'm sorry!" Jubilee cried, vaulting over the couch to sit beside the young man.
Panting, eyes wide as humanly possible, ixedixed Jubilee with a glare of pure death. "You scared the snot out of me!"
"Ew...lovely image, James...whatcha watchin'?" She felt bad for scaring him but she also knew that if she coddled him, Jamie would let himself be scared every time he watched a horror film or heard a bump in the night.
"_Silence of the Lambs. _ " He squished himself back into the corner of the couch and softened his glare. "Why're you down here? Aren't you supposed to be with Remy or something?"
Jubilee glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, her attention ebbing and flowing around Hannibal Lechter. "He snores..."
"Oh." Jamie blushed furiously, the idea of Remy and Jubilee in bed together still somewhat of a torment to him, but no longer from jealousy. _Maybe she can tell me how I'll know when I'm ready...I mean, she's super smart...and she's my best friend. But we haven't talked in forever _ ..."Um, Jubes?"
She heard the serious tone in his voice and sighed. _Oh, God, don't let this be another 'I like you' thing...I'll cry if it is...I can't stand to break his heart... _ "Yeah?"
Jamie was silent, prompting Jubilee to elbow him in the arm right as Hannibal slashed at his guard in the courthouse-cum-prison. "Gah!"
"Well?"
Jamie chanced another glare but found Jubilee looking back at him, an expectant but slightly nervous expression on her face. "I missed talking to you..." he finally blurted.
"Huh?"
"Well, it seems like since you've gotten with Remy all officially and all...you're never around to talk to." Jamie shrugged, picking at the flocking on the arm of the couch.
"Like you and Rahne are inseparable," she snorted. "Every time I see you, you're with her."
"I'm not now," Jamie said softly, still staring at the fabric beneath his hand. "Do you...um...want to talk?"
"Sure. About what?" Jubilee was still apprehensive but she was slowly growing more comfortable. She had missed Jamie lately and she had been thinking about making some time for them to just hang out. _Remy's a big boy...he can handle being by himself for a while. I was tight with Jamie before Remy even thought of coming along. _
"This is so embarrassing..." Jamie mumbled, turning a slow shade of pink. Shifting uncomfortably, he finally raised his eyes to meet Jubilee's gaze. "How'd you know when you were ready to have sex for the first time?"
Jubilee felt the urge to giggle, then scold, then giggle again. Her face flushed hot as she found that she could not look her friend in the eye, the coffee table suddenly the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. "Jamie..."
"Before you say anything, Jubes, let me tell you why I'm asking..."
"I think I can figure out why, you little horndog," she said good-naturedly, still refusing to meet his gaze.
Jamie huffed in exasperation, finding that now that the words were out, the topic was not so scary after all. "Rahne and I haven't...you know...I mean, we just did serious stuff _once _ and...well, wow. Major, huge wow. But I feel kinda bad because I'm...well, I don't know if I want to do it with Rahne or not."
Jubilee took several deep, slow breaths, trying to find her equilibrium. Finally, she said, "Okay. Before I can answer your question, I have to tell you something. Jamie, you really are my best friend, no matter how much time I spend with Remy. And I also want to say I'm sorry for not spending more time with you."
Jamie shrugged in an approximation of Scott's "aw, shucksprespression. "It's okay, Jubes...I mean, I'm just a kid. Remy's...Remy."
"No, it isn't okay, Jamie. I haven't been fair to you...but you've been spending a lot of time with Rahne, too...so I guess we haven't been fair to each other. What say we pick at least one day every week to just blow off the ball and chains and chill? No matter how much or how little we get to see each other that week, that day is just for us."
Jamie grinned broadly. "Cool!"
Jubilee nodded decisively. "That said, I need you to try and understand what I'm about to tell you. You know that, before I came here, I had a pretty rough life, right?" Jamie nodded, knowing full and well how Jubilee had to resort to thievery and the life of a runaway before becoming one of the X Men. "Well, the thing is, I haven't told you everything. Sometimes, people have to do some rotten things to keep themselves alive." Jubilee felt shame seep through her veins anew at the memory. Haltingly, she told Jamie everything she had left out before, about having to use her body to secure her safety, shelter and food. About resorting to whoring just so she could live. "So, I can't really answer your question. I didn't get to decide if the time was right for me...I just...did it because I had to, not because I was in love, not because I even wanted to...I had to."
Jamie felt sick, not because of what Jubilee did but because of the world that made it happen that way. Jubilee was letting the hot tears trickle down her cheeks, her hands clenched in her lap in frustration and shame; Jamie could count on one hand with fingers left over the number of times he had been able to comfort someone, especially someone he cared so much about, but at that very moment, he could not remember any of them. All he knew was that his best friend was in pain and he wanted to make it better. He flung himself at her, wrapping his arms around her neck and letting her sniffle into his shirt. "Shhh...cry all you want." Jamie absently stroked her hair, feeling anger bubbling up inside his chest. "I'll kick their asses if I ever meet them..."
Jubilee managed a watery chuckle. "Jamie, to be painfully honest, I don't think even I will meet them again." She did not have the heart to tell him that she did not even know some of the people she had slept with. _Keep some semblance of innocence for the poor kid. _
"Still..." Jamie sighed as Jubilee pulled away and rubbed at her eyes. "Does Remy know?" he asked gently.
Jubilee nodded. "Yeah...I thought he'd freak out or something but all he did was let me talk about it and then, when I was done, he said," here she lowered her voice and tried her best Cajun accent, "Dat be all chere?" Jubilee shook her head in faint amusement. "I thought I was gonna have a heart attack-he cared but he wasn't gonna let himself be plagued by it!"
"He loves you..." Jamie sighed. "Why can't I just _know _ like that?"
Jubilee sighed. "My advice, Big Jim...don't rush it. Just because it seems like everyone around here is going at it like bunnies on X,1 doesn't mean you have to fall in. Just...let it happen."
"So no 'wait until you're eighteen or married' lecture like at school?" Jamie smiled at his watery-eyed friend.
Jubilee groaned. "God, I hate those talks. _This is your uterus...once a month blah blah blah...babies blah blah blah...STDS blah blah blah _ ..."
Jamie snickered. "The guys got the jock itch lecture and the pamphlet on male anatomy in addition to the 'don't do it!' lecture..."
The Asian girl snorted. "Wait till tenth grade...they stop separating the genders and you all have to watch the video of childbirth. Lemme tell ya...that's better than any birth control on the market, seeing some poor woman try and pass ten pounds of baby and placenta out of a hole the size of a...MMMPH!" Jubilee found it was very hard to talk with a pillow in her mouth. The duo degraded into a pillow fight, oblivious to the shadow watching them from one side of the rec room.

Rogue just plain could not sleep. Her sojourn to the herb garden to take in the night air had ended with her slipping in through the mudroom door, the sound of a giggling pillow fight coming from the rec room. Shit. _Can I get past 'em without being seen? I don't feel like talking to Jubes or Jamie...too much happy for their own good. _ She debated trying to sneak past them, feeling herself vaguely amused at the sight of Jubilee and Jamie wrestling like kids and almost jealous at the same time. _I want a friend like that...I guess Kitty is close, so is Kurt...but it isn't the same. No one can fucking touch me except for Todd and that only happened for a little while. If Beast doesn't find out what the Hell is going on soon, I'm going to go stark raving mad. _ Rogue eyed the clock over the stove and noted that it was just past four a.m. _Well, fuck all. I'm cutting through. _ She prepared a retort to any questions they might ask, but the dark of the room and the noise of their tickle fight kept Jubilee and Jamie from even noticing Rogue as she passed. _I don't know if I should feel relieved or depressed... _ Even in combat boots, Rogue moved quietly, pausing in the foyer to decide if she should try and get some sleep or be like the dueling Giggle Twins, as she dubbed them in the rec room, and just stay up until dawn and sleep the day away. _If I stay up, maybe I can talk to Beast before he gets all involved in Institute stuff...I know Todd's supposed to see him later and I want to get in before him, just to have at least a few minutes for some answers! _

Beast looked up with some surprise when Rogue entered. She had gone to her room and retrieved the test strips, journal and thermometer, her daily procedure already done at five in the morning. "Rogue! You're up awfully early."
"Actually," she sighed, sidling in as if expecting to be scolded, "I haven't been to bed yet. I couldn't sleep..."
Beast rocked back in his chair. He himself had only been up for an hour, relishing the quiet of the mansion before the others began waking up. He enjoyed spending the time in his lab, working on pet projects or sometimes just reading the newspaper, taking time to be on his own, not to be Dr McCoy or even Beast, just Hank. _For Rogue, though, I'll give up that time...she's obviously worried. _ "What's wrong?"
"I don't know!" she said, voice wavering. "Can I sit down?"
"Of course, of course..." he waved her in the direction of a small sofa kept in his office for napping purposes.
"It's just...Todd's back and no one really knows what happened to him other than he's okay now and that is some freakish part of his mutation...I could touch him, now I can't...you're doing these weird tests to me..." Rogue sighed. "See what I mean?"
Beast had followed her disjointed ramble as well as he could. Nodding sympathetically, he said "While you're here, let me get the blood for today."
She rolled up her sleeve in resigned annoyance. "What exactly are you testing for?"
Beast was humming to himself as he procured the Vacu-tainer and other supplies needed to draw blood from Rogue, including some heavy gloves and his lab coat should she flail or otherwise come into contact with his skin. "What do you think I'm testing for?"
"How the Hell should I know? You haven't told me anything...Todd being sick and then the boathouse burning down sort of cut into conversation time, ya know?" Rogue grumbled, looking steadily at the wall as Beast slid the needle into a thick vein.
"I have a theory about your brief ability to touch..." Beast made a hissing noise as he drew the needle free-as often as he had done it, he still hated to see a needle being pulled out of skin. Sliding another vial into place, he continued, "Given your menstrual history and some preliminary results from these tests, I think you may be entering another developmental stage of your mutation."
"Huh?" Rogue felt fogged. All she knew was Beast was on to something and it could mean the ability to touch. She was beyond stunned-she was into flabbergasted territory.
"These test strips you use every morning are common, over the counter ovulation predictor strips"
"Why do you have 'em in the lab, then?" she asked, frowning. "Were you expecting me to have to use 'em?"
"Well, if you must know, Storm uses them to predict her cycle. She's rather irregular herself...I think it may be a trend in female mutants..."
"I read somewhere that when women live together, their cycles synchronize." Rogue bent her elbow to hold the cotton pad in place as Beast patted her arm to indicate he was finished drawing blood.
"Well, usually, yes. And that may be what your cycle is doing, trying to come into synch with the women around you. However, my theory is this: you could touch because you were at the optimum part of your cycle to get pregnant."
"Whaaaaa?" Rogue felt faint.
Beast felt only slightly embarrassed, discussing reproduction with Rogue. "I think that your ability to touch is your body's response to being fertile. However, because the ability lasted so short a time, I feel that it was only for the duration of that optimum portion of your cycle, the short amount of time that egg was best able to be fertilized." Beast tilted his head, holding her gaze. "Rogue, I need to do some more tests, preferably for another cycle or two or three, but it is entirely possible that you will one day be able to have children without fear of what your body will do to them."
1 No pun intended. Really.