Constant Craving

CONSTANT CRAVING CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply

A/N Foxfeather continues her goddessness. She just needs something cool to be goddess of...I'm thinking betas, dolphins and slightly nebbish hot guys... ;) InterNutter, TC and Maxwell Pink get dancing muses for archiving. Vampyre: How full is the waiting room, anyway? Readers/Reviewers: Okay. I think this whole thing is under control. The ducks are staying in costume, the Killer Kitties (tm) are keeping their claws in (though there are rumblings over by the craft services table about a revolt...makes me nervous...) and the platypi have stopped singing in French. I didn't even know they knew French!


It was so quiet that Rogue was sure she could actually hear Scott's sanity crack. "Rogue," he said harshly, "you have got to be out of your mind."
"Babe, I'm gonna go with Scott on this one...you can't _not _ be one of the X Men because we're fighting..." Todd said, struggling to sit up.
Rogue held up a silencing hand. "No. You listen to me...both of you. I am not going to associate myself with a group led, de facto leader or otherwise, by someone who makes judgments on others based on what their past may have been. In case you haven't noticed, Scott, I used to be in the Brotherhood, too. What makes me so different from Todd or Lance or Remy? Why aren't you being a dick to me? Is it because I'm a girl?"
"No," Scott sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"Then what is it?" Rogue demanded, her hands on her hips.
Scott sighed, looking at Todd for a brief moment as if to say it was all his fault before answering Rogue. "You came here freely. You weren't forced to be here because you pissed off Magneto. You never tried to attack any of us and, I would like to point out, nothing ever burned down after you moved in."
"The boathouse..." Todd put in helpfully.
"The boathouse," Scott gritted out, "burned down after we were all here..."
"Then what you said isn't true, is it?" Rogue smirked, taking the opportunity to bait Scott. "Look, for as long as you keep acting like a royal pain in the ass, I am not going to associate myself with the X Men. It's that simple."
"What're you going to do, then? Be Brotherhood?" Scott snapped, coming within a few feet of Rogue. Behind him, the teenagers in the kitchen had fallen silent and were gathered in the doorway, peering into the rec room at the mini-drama playing out before them.
Rogue licked her lips, only slightly apprehensive, chancing to flick her eyes over her friends. Remy and Jubilee were staring at her, open-mouthed, and Jamie, Amara, Rahne, and Lance were all comically frozen mid-chew or mid-sip, looking as if they had just seen a ghost. "I'm not switching horses mid-stream. I'll still train, I'll still fight on your side if I have to, but I am not gonna be an X Man until all this petty, babyish bullshit is finished." Scott sputtered as she turned her back to him, leaning over Todd. "I'm gonna go get dressed...I need to see Beast anyway." She pulled the edge of his t-shirt over his mouth and pressed a kiss to his lips, making him sigh against his own will. Louder than her previous statements, she said, "I love you, Todd." Before striding from the room without a backwards glance.
Todd felt warm all over at any contact with Rogue but could not let his happiness show. Scott was glaring at him, lips pressed into a thin line. "Dude, it ain't my fault, yo..."
Scott seemed to swallow whatever words were rising to his throat, pressing his hands over his face for a moment as he regained composure. "No, it isn't...it's my fault, isn't it?"
Remy mumbled, "Finally...Boy Wonder get somthin' right..." before pushing past him to go upstairs.
Jubilee snorted but remained in place, glaring at Scott. "You know, you sure do cause a lot of problems for someone who's supposed to be mature..."
"Jubes, be quiet," Scott sighed. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, staring as if he expected answers to fall from the roof and into his head. "I'm going to bed," he finally sighed. "Get at least a few hours sleep..." He shook his head to clear the guilt, failing miserably. "I'll talk to you guys later..."
"Well..." Jubilee said after a moment. "That went wonderfully."

"Watch the walls!" Jean cried, flying forward.
"Jean!" Kurt gasped, the weight of the tallboy resting against his shoulder, "If you're going to help, _help! _ Don't just shout at me from overhead!"
"Sorry...here..." She extended her hands and the furniture moved off of Kurt and slid into place against the wall. "There...or do you think it looks better along the other wall?"
Kurt groaned. "I have no idea...I don't think Lance and Todd are going to care if the feng shui of the room is not conducive to positive thoughts..."
Jean rolled her eyes at him. "The Professor asked me to be in charge of setting up the new rooms and It tot to do a good job. Where's Kitty? She's good at this decorating thing..."
Kurt looked away, feeling his stomach roil with a nauseating mix of guilt, anger and desperation. "I haven't seen her since this morning...she went to bed around seven and has been in her room most of the day."
Jean came to rest a few feet from Kurt. "What's going on?" she asked gently, feeling his pain as if it were her own, not because of any mutation but because of the sheer magnitude of Kurt's feelings, his expressions and mannerisms doing as much to convey his hurt as words ever could.
Kurt looked at her balefully, not wanting to talk about his problems with Kitty but needing to. "I don't know...I mean, we were fine last night...great, in fact. We've got a few...issues...but who doesn't, you know?" Kurt hopped up to sit on the edge of the dresser they had moved into the room earlier that afternoon. "She's mad at me because I suggested Tabby started the fire."
"Suggested?" Jean said with a raised brow.
"Well, I pointed out that it was kind of suspicious that the place burned down right after Tabby was put in there for the night. Kitty said it could've been Amara...but I just don't think it was."
"Kurt," Jean sighed, "it seems to have been an accident. Amara went to see if Lance had come back yet because she wanted to make up with him but she found Tabby there instead. You know they both run hot in terms of temper and one thing led to another..." she shrugged a little wearily.
"It just seems strange..." Kurt said, knocking his feet against the dresser in a dull, thudding rhythm. "I mean...Tabby leaves us alone for months and then she's at the school the same night we are. She won't go back to the boardinghouse so I have to bring her here to shut her up. Now the fire..."
"No one has asked me, but I think Tabby is lonely. She broke into the school to steal some of the computers to sell. You didn't see the inside of the boardinghouse; Amara and I did. It was awful-even Scott would have felt bad if he had seen it. The place is falling down around their ears since Mystique disappeared again. They have no electricity, no heat...the place smells terrible!'
Kurt felt pity rise in his breast unwanted, forcing words out of his mouth. "Why doesn't Pietro get Magneto to help them?"
"I don't know, Kurt...When we were there, it just felt sad, oppressive. I've never felt so much like opening a vein in my life..." Jean shuddered, the memory of the house and the wash of depression coming back in a rush. "To be honest, I don't blame Tabby for not wanting to stay there. I don't advocate stealing but I can understand why she was doing it. It's November and already cold, and you've been here long enough it's just going to get worse before the middle of December. They're up a creek without a paddle at the Boardinghouse and Tabby was just trying to keep herself above water."1
"But the fire...I still think she started it." Kurt's mind reeled. He did not like Tabby and never would, despite their prior relationship. He did not want to feel even pity for her but could not help it. "And Lane and Todd...did they change sides? What's going on?"
Jean shook her head again. "I don't have an answer for that. I just know that it seems we're stuck with the guys for a long while...It's going to be damned near impossible to dislodge Todd from Rogue's side anyway..."
Kurt snorted. "I think Lance and Amara are joined at the hip, too."
"Joined at _something... _ " Jean giggled.
"Jean! You've got a dirty mind for such an innocent girl!" Kurt said mock-disapprovingly, jumping down from the dresser.
"Oh, like you don't? Kitty's a projector..." she trailed off, waggling her eyebrows at him.
"Urk..." Kurt was very glad for his blue fur then, for he knew he would be blushing red as a beet without it. "Um...Are we done? I think we're done...I'm going now!" he said in a rush, bamf-ing from the room.
Jean bit her lip, fighting back a laugh and failing miserably. _ If he had even half an idea what I know, he'd burst into flames from embarrassment!_
Scott's voice broke her giggle-fit. "Jean? You okay?" he asked, coming into view around the doorframe.
"Huh? Oh...um, yeah..." she said, schooling her face into a semblance of order. "You need something?"
"Actually..." he said, sidling into the room. "Yeah...I need advice."
"Oh?" Jean moved to sit on one of the beds that she and Kurt had moved into the room earlier that day. "Cop a squat. Spill."
"You've been around Jubilee..." Scott said, one side of his mouth quirking in amusement. "You know what happened this morning with Rogue..."
"Yeeees....." she drawled, leaning back on her elbows to await his problem.
"Well, I don't know what to do. I mean, the entire trip to Brooklyn stressed me out big time. We kept sniping at each other, no good reason to...But after we saw Todd's mom, it was like we flipped a switch. The trip back was kind of cool. We didn't really talk much but we didn't fight. We were all civil..."
"And now that you're back, it's like nothing changed?" she suggested gently.
"Exactly..." Scott sighed and fell onto his back. "I hate this. I feel like I'm not my own person anymore. I can't help being mean to them and it drives me crazy that you seem to be on their side."
"Scott, I'm not on anyone's side per se...I just want you all to stop fighting like brats." She lay down next to him, neither one touching the other, their legs hanging off the sides of the bed. They were unknowingly mimicking each other: both had their hands folded on their stomachs, both were staring at the texture of the ceiling and breathing in time, chewing on their lower lips in thought.
"I miss you," he said finally.
"Miss me? I'm right here..."
"_I miss you... _ it's like we just found each other finally and now you pull away. I mean, I've been crazy about you forever it seems like and you finally feel the same about me but you can just switch it off! You can just say no to touching and kissing and just even being together because I'm doing something you don't like...I feel like you're gone from me."
Jean felt guilty then, hearing the plaintive tone of Scott's voice. Still looking at the ceiling, she reached out and laid one of her hands on top of his. "I'm not pulling away from you. I just don't know how else to make it plain how much I dislike what you're doing."
"You could just tell me..."
"I tried that. You ignored me." Jean rolled onto one side and looked down at her boyfriend. "I'm crazy about you, too. I love you so much it scares me. A lot. I mean, I don't know how to handle something I can't control and what I feel for you...Scott, it's like a waterfall. I can't stop the rush of feelings and needs I have for you and that makes me feel like I'm less than I should be. Like I'm not in charge of my own person."
"Jean," he sighed, touching her cheek with the fingertips of one hand, "How many times do I have to tell you? Don't think you have to be so in control all the time. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to hold yourself in check like that..."
She pressed her hand over his, holding his to her cheek. "I know. But until you stop being so..."
"Bratty?" he offered, repeating Kitty's assessment of his behavior.
"Sure...that's a way of phrasing it. Until you stop being so bratty about Lance and Todd and now Tabby, I'm going to have to control myself." She turned her head to press a lingering kiss to his palm and then leaned close to murmur in his ear, "And trust me...controlling myself around you isn't always easy."
"Huh?" he said inelegantly.
"You think I can just shut off my feelings? You should see what I dream about..." she whispered before moving off the bed. Scott sat up quickly and made a grab for her wrist as she headed for the door, but Jean was too quick. "Nuh-uh...not until things are settled. Until then, though," she said with a slight smirk, "keep this in mind..." With no small amount of effort, Jean opened to him, showing him exactly what she had dreamed about last night: sweaty bodies entangled in bedclothes, the gasps and sighs of two people in the throes of lovemaking mingling with murmured words of encouragement and entreaties for more. Scott flushed dull red before she stopped the projection, raising one eyebrow as if to say "See what you're missing?" and sauntering from the room, Scott staring after her in naked desire.

Tabby still felt like her lungs were etched in acid but she was not sure how much of that was from cigarette smoke and how much was from the fire the evening before. Beast let her out of the infirmary when Rogue came in, laden with papers and a thermometer, glaring as if her life depended on it. "Go on," he had murmured, "you're fine. If you need to stay here, talk to the Professor..."
_I'll be damned if I talk to that old man...I'll just find a room and stake my claim... _ So far, though, she was having no luck. All the rooms were taken except for one that was locked, one Kitty had seen her trying to open before coldly informing her that room was "reserved for guests coming this week."
"I'm a guest," Tabby snapped."
"No, you're a _pest. _ There's a difference," Kitty had said imperiously before phasing into her room and turning up what sounded like Middle Eastern music quite loud, but not before Tabby heard a male voice that was not Kurt's in the room with he.
_Slut _ , she thought viciously as she prowled the upstairs hallway, trying to formulate a plan that would let her stay without having to ask the Professor for permission. She was passing Kitty's room for what seemed like the millionth time in an hour when the door opened just enough for someone to come out, that person, to Tabby's pleased surprise, being Lance. "Hey," she purred as he pulled the door shut behind him. "Missed you..."
Lance groaned inwardly. "Tabby..." he muttered. "I gotta go..." He tried to step around her only to have her block his passage. "C'mon...move."
"No..." she pouted, trying her best to look fetching. "I want to talk to you...you've been gone so long..."
Lance growled aloud then. "Boom Boom, you ain't getting' none from me...I have no more interest in you than I do a slug. Go _away. _ " He lifted her by her arms then and moved her to one side, his long stride putting him most of the to to his new room before the girl could register what was happening.
"Lance!" she snapped, nearly losing all traces of her attempt aductduction. "Wait!" she trotted after him and darted into the room before he could shut the door. "Oooh...nice."
Lance fought the urge to throw her out the window. "Okay. I'm not getting rid of you anytime soon. What do you want?"
"Two beds...hmmm...mind if I crash?" she asked, flopping down on Todd's as-yet-un-slept-in bed.
"Yes, I mind...that's Todd's bed anyway." Lance stood by the window, arms crossed and glaring at the girl.
"A bed's a bed, lover," she purred, rolling onto her back. "C'mon...for old time's sake?"
"I'm not your lover anymore...go away..." he groaned. He moved to the door and flung it open. "Go!"
Tabby stood and glared at him, venom in her eyes. "I'm staying here whether you like it or not. You don't know how good you got it and I don't intend to go back to that Hell hole while your sorry ass stays here." She had come even with Lance now and was pushing a finger into his chest. "It's your fault I'm stuck there! You and that...that whore you're so in love with!"
Lance shook her then, harder than necessary but not hard enough to do real harm. "You fucking leave Amara alone!" he snapped.
Tabby grinned then, seeing something he didn't. Pulling herself away slightly, she laid her palm against his chest and licked her lips, making him jerk back in surprise at her sudden change of demeanor. "Whatever you say, sweetie...it's so good to see you again...hope we can do this again real soon..." Before he could react, she stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his parted lips, snaking her tongue into his mouth before her jerked away, wiping at his mouth with the back of one hand. "Too late," she whispered, winking as she bounced down the hall.
"Lance..." The voice was low and filled with anger, searing his skin as surely as any flame.
Shit. "Princess, that wasn't what it looked like."
"That's what they all say, isn't it?" She came into view from behind him. "I risk my life last night to save her sorry hide and then I find you and her kissing in your doorway...I don't know what to think anymore." Amara's eyes were shining with unshed tears, tears Lance knew she would never let him see fall.
"Baby, I swear...it isn't what it looks like! She kissed me-I didn't kiss her! She tried to get me in bed..."
"And you loved it, didn't you? Some airheaded bitch simpering after you. Poor Lance, not getting laid by his own girlfriend so he has to go get it from the local whore!" Amara snapped, turning to storm back to her room, then pausing, back still to him, and growling, "I came down here to make up."
"What?" he breathed, feeling a strong sense of vertigo at the idea of Amara really cutting things off with him then the sudden euphoria her words produced. "You want to make up?"
"I don't know anymore..." she said with a world-weary sigh. "You kissed another girl..."
Lance came to her in two steps, turning her roughly to face him and then dropping to his knees to look up at her beseechingly. "Amara, please...what do you want me to do? What will make you happy?"
She felt a spike of guilty pleasure. _I shouldn't like seeing him like this...but damn it, I hurt! _ With deliberate slowness, she let her hands come to rest on his where they kneaded her hips, sliding her fingers down the tops of his hands to his wrists, then pressing her nails into the hair-roughened skin there. "What will make me happy? Good question..." Lance did not look afraid despite her edged words, giving her encouragement. "First of all," she paused, mentally damning Kitty for putting her in this position, "make nice with Scott and Kurt. I don't care how you do it or how much pride you have to swallow. Just do it."
"Is that it?"
"Did you hear me say 'first of all'? Doesn't that indicate there's more?" she snapped, then sighed. "The second thing is this..." she leaned over to whisper in his ear, "I think you need to be _punished _ , if you catch my meaning..."
Lance felt butterflies in his stomach and a warm rush to his groin. "I...I do..." _God, do I sound as pathetic as I think I do? _
Amara smiled and dug her nails in hard enough to cause him to wince. "Good...once I see that you've made nice, I'll give you your _discipline. _ And let me deal with Tabby...I think she and I need to have a little...girl talk, as it were."
Lance looked nervous then, tilting his head to look at her shining eyes. "You won't hurt her, will you?"
"Do you want me to?"
"No! I mean...no...you have to believe that I didn't kiss her, that she only did it because she saw you coming or something..."
Amara narrowed her eyes. "I'll believe you once you do what I asked...until then, Tabby had better watch her back."

Kurt knocked on Kitty's door softly, the sound of her radio indicating her presence. "Katzchen?" he said after a moment.
"Not here," she said.
"Katzchen, the phone's for you..." He held the portable phone from his room up as if she could see it, feeling only slightly silly when he realized what he was doing.
"Why didn't they call my line then?" she asked, sounding close to the door.
"It's my mother..." he sighed.
Kitty opened the door and looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and sadness. Kurt held the phone out to her wordlessly and leaned on the doorframe, making it clear he was going to wait her out. Kitty took the phone and narrowed her eyes at him as she spoke. "Hello, Astrid. Um, yes...three o'clock...should be...no, no...fine, I guess...Me, too. A lot. A whole lot. Not really. I'll get them then..." At this last, her eyes flew open as if expecting Kurt to know something he should not. "He's right here. ou wou want to talk to him again? Oh. Okay. Well, I'll talk to you then...Bye!" She handed the phone back to Kurt. "She says to call her Wednesday."
"Oh. Katzchen, why did my mother want to talk to you?"
"She likes me..." Kitty said, sounding like she was hiding something as she turned to go to her desk, leaving the door open for Kurt to follow. "Look, I know we're kind of weird right now but I can't help by tell you...I don't want to break things off."
"I never thought you d
"I
"I'm just paranoid you'll bolt, I guess." She sighed and swiveled her chair to face him, jerking when she realized he was closer than she thought. "Oh!"
"I have that effect on people," he sighed, dropping to his knees to better look her in the eye. "Katzchen, listen to me. I don't want to make you upset, but it happens. It will happen off and on for as long as we live. Just like you'll make me upset. It can't be helped. Being in love doesn't mean that it's all roses and cream you know..."
"I know," she sighed. "Why does it hurt so much when it's you, though?"
"Vas?"
"I fought with Lance when we were together and yeah, it hurt, but not like this..." Kitty choked back tears and ducked her head so Kurt could not see her. "This _hurts _ , Kurt...I hate fighting with you."
"Ja, I know...it hurts like Hell, doesn't it?" He stood and tugged her to her feet, switching places with her so that he was in the chair before pulling her onto his lap. Stroking her hair back from her face, he spoke softly, relishing the feel of her curves against him. "Kitty, it hurts because we love each other, I mean _really _ love each other. I know that I don't want anything to make you unhappy and when it's me that's doing it, it makes it a thousand times worse than anything else. I hate making you cry."
Kitty sniffed dangerously, still holding tears in check. "Same here," she said dully. "So what do we do?"
"Well," he said, kissing her earlobe softly and making her shudder, "We move on. We work around it when we can, forgive each other when we need to and try to understand why we each do things that may upset the other."
"Sounds like a plan," she said shakily, burying her face in his neck. "I love you, Kurt."
"Me too, Schatz..." He rubbed her back absently, the part of his mind that was not full of Kitty wondering why his mother sounded so shifty when she called. bes,bes," he asked after several minutes, "What did my mother want?"
"Um..." Kitty sounded like she felt better as she levered herself off his lap. "I can't say. Let's just say it has to do with the holidays."
"She wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas or something?" Kurt asked suspiciously. When he lived at home, his mother would often ask his friends and sisters for ideas for Christmas presents. Since he had been in New York, however, she had usually guessed. _Maybe she res res Kitty is a good person to ask...she doesn't know about my girlfriend's hideous sweater-giving problem...when you have fur, you don't need a sweater! _
"Uh...okay!" Kitty said with false brightness. She yawned unbidden and blushed. "Sorry..."
"No, it's okay..." Kurt picked up his phone and smiled at her. "It's late...I need to get some sleep myself."
"My poor, tired, Fuzzy," Kitty sighed. "Jean told me you helped her set up Lance and Todd's room."
"She did a lot of the heavy lifting...powers, you know." Kurt shrugged. "Good night, Liebes." He bent to kiss her only to find her gone.
"Before I forget..." she said from across the room. She came back with a videotape in her hands. "Something to...um...ponder, I guess..." Kitty stood on her toes and kissed him on the mouth, nipping his lower lip as she did so.
Kurt quirked a brow. "Vas ist this?"
"You'll see..." she murmured, shutting the door between them.
Kurt did not open cas case until he got to his room. A note fell out, Kitty's handwriting spilling in silver ink across the paper.
_* Kurt...
Think of this as a better version of the security camera tape...I had a friend help me make it today. Enjoy it. *_
Kurt swallowed dryly. _Great _ , he thought hastily putting it into his VCR, _just what I need. Another thing to send me to the showers... _
1 Yeah, mixed metaphor...deal with it... ;)