Love's Past Turmoil

A/N PLEASE READ AnD REVIEW!!


Pyro sighed, leaning up against the outside of the abandoned building that made up one side of the alleyway. No homeless people, drug dealers, or any of the like had yet claimed this basically deserted area for their own, and St. John was grateful of that. This dark, somewhat sheltered alleyway had been his home ever since he found it nearly a day and a half ago, after he made the decision to leave behind the last five years.

In that time the voice in his subconscious had stopped screaming at him and Pyro found the silence in his head a little disconcerting at times. Occasionally it would pop up with something like, ~You have made the right decision, John. Everything is going to be all right. You'll see.~

His body was still racked with pain and he knew at least three of his ribs and his left wrist were broken. He hadn't noticed the pain at first. His brain had not received the pain message from the numb wrist at the time. But then Pyro had tried to use it to hoist himself up into the back of a truck that had been parked at a nearby service station, to hitch a ride, and the pain had hit him so hard his eyes had watered, gritting his teeth to avoid being heard by the man who was by now climbing back into his vehicle.

That truck had pulled up at a convenience store just after the bridge entrance to Manhattan Island and that is when Pyro had made his exit, wandering around for nearly four hours, stealing several pieces of fruit and eating the remains of someone's dinner that had yet to be cleaned up off the dining tables outside the front of a small cafe.

The darkness had concealed this humiliating choice. His body needed to heal and Pyro was informed enough to know he needed fuel to help the healing process along. Part of him had wanted to go to a hospital where they could, at least, dress his wounds but that voice had fought with itself until finally Pyro decided against that idea.

What if Sabretooth was searching for him? After all, when Creed hadn't found his dead body he would have guessed he had run and he knew where the base was. John had kept an eye out, hating having to look over his shoulder every five seconds.

The flame played in the palm of his hand as he stared into it, hot tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

~Where am I supposed to go?~ he asked himself. ~What am I supposed to do?~
Another sigh escaped his parched lips and he leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

Dreams came and went in his sleep, most of them memories of before and after he had left the school. Some made him smile, others made him cry out in his sleep, the current one he was having made him sit bolt upright, screaming, beads of sweat pouring down his face.

Pulling his legs up against his chest, wincing at the pain and trying his best to manoeuvre in a way that did not hurt his broken ribs or wrist, he rested his forehead on his knees, his good hand gripping the Zippo lighter tightly.

"You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about on the news? I'm the worst one!" He drew back the flame sending it towards the police on either side of him and behind him before pushing it towards the approaching cop cars, their sirens piercing the morning air.

Seeing Logan go down with an unmerciful shot to the head had brought the most intense hatred up into Pyro's heart. Hatred for humans and all they stood for. All he wanted to do was protect his friends. He let go of all possible restraints thinking only of burning anything in his path, the expression on his face clearly depicting the way the young mutant felt.

Pyro opened his eyes again, gasping as he felt those same emotions stirring in him. Just before that event he had seen the pictures of Bobby with his family and that had made Pyro feel intensely jealous. His own parents had never had time for their son. Had never cared whether he was alive or dead.

Shaking his head, Pyro took a deep breath, replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones. Again, Iceman and Rogue's face played through his mind and Pyro remembered the good times they'd had together. He realised now he had been an arrogant person. Arrogance that incited the need to show off in front of everyone, especially Rogue.

~Why did I have to stuff everything up?!~ he admonished himself, silently. ~All they ever wanted was to be my friend and all I ever did was be a jerk to them.~ He curled his good hand around the lighter still resting in his palm.

The tears fell freely only seconds later, deep heartfelt sobs heard only by the rats and mice, and maybe the occasional cat, rummaging for food in the only garbage bin present in the alleyway.