schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER6 REVIEW
Well done again. I'll just start with my only gripe: Maybe the paragraphs could have more detail. Other than that, it was very good. I'm glad there was still a slight reference to Pyro's darker side. I'm looking forward to reading the rest, to see what happens.
Well done again. I'll just start with my only gripe: Maybe the paragraphs could have more detail. Other than that, it was very good. I'm glad there was still a slight reference to Pyro's darker side. I'm looking forward to reading the rest, to see what happens.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A great chapter, maybe the best yet. I think the interaction was very well, done, and the relationships growing and changing fit the title well. I think the connection thing is a cool bit.. I liked how some of the characters are exhibiting redeeming qualities. No real gripes here, the detail level seemed perfect.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 8 REVIEW
Great Chapter, as always. Good detail. God connections. Good characterization. Liked the length. Overall awesome.
Great Chapter, as always. Good detail. God connections. Good characterization. Liked the length. Overall awesome.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 9 REVIEW
Very..Very, Very good chapter. I liked the ending particularly, and what's happening to Gambit is very interesting. The story so far is great, very well written. I can't say enough. But I like everything about it, and I'm looking forward to see which direction it heads.
Very..Very, Very good chapter. I liked the ending particularly, and what's happening to Gambit is very interesting. The story so far is great, very well written. I can't say enough. But I like everything about it, and I'm looking forward to see which direction it heads.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Bravo, it's a great set up and I like the way that Pyro was written. Maybe include a bit more sensory detail, that's all that I can think of. Good job.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Another good chapter, well written. I like Pyro as a character, and the big jump in personality seems pretty well explained. Although it didn't seem like much was accomplished in this chapter, I like the insight on what Pyro feels, physically and mentally.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 3 REVIEW:
I liked this chapter, although it seemed a bit early to bring in Creed, only two chapters later. But I like the conflict, or rivalry that's forming. The attention to detail is good, I was wondering about 'raw' fish until it was explained.
Also, Wouldn't creed have been able to make the search easier with his heightened senses, and tracking? I'm not sure on that, though.
I liked this chapter, although it seemed a bit early to bring in Creed, only two chapters later. But I like the conflict, or rivalry that's forming. The attention to detail is good, I was wondering about 'raw' fish until it was explained.
Also, Wouldn't creed have been able to make the search easier with his heightened senses, and tracking? I'm not sure on that, though.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 4 REVIEW
Another good chapter, I think it started off great, but got choppy near the end.
Every time i think of concerns, they're adressed. Victors nose, raw fish, thinking of the lighter running out. I think it's a good way that gets people (Or at least me) thinking, and then drawn back in. The meeting up between them seemed a bit anti-climactic, but not bad.
Another good chapter, I think it started off great, but got choppy near the end.
Every time i think of concerns, they're adressed. Victors nose, raw fish, thinking of the lighter running out. I think it's a good way that gets people (Or at least me) thinking, and then drawn back in. The meeting up between them seemed a bit anti-climactic, but not bad.
schedule
February 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 5 REVIEW
Good chapter again, I liked it a lot. Might've been nice to see him re-fill his lighter some how, since it was such an important thing to him. I liked the interaction between the two, and the exploration on their sibling relationship.
Good chapter again, I liked it a lot. Might've been nice to see him re-fill his lighter some how, since it was such an important thing to him. I liked the interaction between the two, and the exploration on their sibling relationship.