Inner Conflicts

Inner Conflicts -- Part 17 Inner Conflicts Part 17 Saturday brought warm weather and lots of sunshine.  Many of the X-teens had already left to go to the carnival, promising not to use theowerowers in other people's sights. Jean, Evan, and Kitty were already gone.  Logan had decided to take the time to go out on his own.  Hank and Ororo were spending time in the lab while Xavier himself took some downtime. The only ones left were Scott, Rogue, and Kurt. "Are you guys ready?" asked Scott, looking slightly unhappy. "Yeah, we're ready," said Rogue, glancing at Kurt who looked like he wanted to be elsewhere. "Kurt, are you okay?" asked Scott, looking at the small mutant. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking," replied Kurt, giving Scott a small grin. "If you don't want to go, we can stay," Scott answered in return. For one moment, Kurt seriously thought about asking to stay.  But then again. . . Scott had been looking forward to hanging at the carnival with Jean. . . and Jean did say she would wait for him.  And Rogue. . . well, it wasn't normal for Rogue to want to hang out somewhere loud and crowded.  So for her to agree to going was unusual on its own, meaning she must have been looking forward to ha som some fun. He couldn't do that to her. "No, I vant to go," he said, faking his grin. "Okay," said Scott, doubtfully. Rogue gave a small frown. I'm slipping, thought Kurt.  They are beginning to know that something is wrong.  It was easier when they only thought they knew. Scott shrugged before heading out the front door, followed by his two younger charges. X Hordes of people were swarming in an out of the carnival grounds.   Right outside the entrance stood one familiar figure, arms crossed, staring down like he didn't care about anything in the world. His face shifted upward and he flashed a big smile at one of the three approaching people. "Hey, Blue boy," he said. Kurt smiled timidly in response.  He suddenly realized he should have opted to stay home.   It was strange watching everybody laughing and smiling while he himself felt like he was about to enter a place of doom. But surely his time with Lance wouldn't be that bad.   After all, they were in public.  It wasn't like he would be able to do anything. And besides, all the other X-men were around. Scott growled next to him.  "What ely aly are you up to, Alvers?" he asked. Lance gave him an innocent look.  "Hey, Summers.  What do you mean?" "What he means is, why are you such good friends with Kurt?" Rogue asked. Lance just shrugged.  "Bey, didn't he tell you? He tutors me. I'm getting good grades.  He can't be all that bad now, can he? Come on, Kurt." Lance waved him over, and Kurt moved away from Scott and Rogue.  "I'll meet with you guys later, ja?" he said. "Call if you need help," Scott said in a low voice. Kurt nodded, a small frown playing on his face. Why was it that everyone assumed he needed help? Did they not trust him to be on his own? Or know to call for help to begin with if he found himself in trouble? Shaking off the feelings of insecurity, Kurt walked over to Lance with a bounce on his step, as if to prove he was fine and could take care of himself. A few moments later, Lance and Kurt walked through the front gate and disappeared into the mass of people. Scott waited for a few moments. "Aren't we going to follow them?" asked Rogue, feeling a small bit of dread in her heart. "We already got a few members on the inside," replied Scott. Rogue looked up at him in surprise.  "I don't know whether to be glad or disgusted with you," she said in honesty. X Lance knew he was being followed.  For the past couple of weeks, he had been trying to burn into his memory the faces of every mutant that went into the Institute. And he could recognize almost all of them. The Asian chick was standing near the popcorn stand with the blond kid.  It almost looked like they were just gazing out at people while talking, but Lance knew that they were keeping an eye our for them.  He knew that Scott was the type to order these guys to view this as a mission of sorts. He only needed to elude them or seem harmless for about an hour or two.  After that, the teens will lose interest and not pay much attention.  In the meantime. . . he had a few packets of his stash with him. And the first one was already in Kurt's drink. It had been a bit difficult. He had waited till the vendor turned away to grab put the money in the drawer before dumping the contents into the cup.  Kurt, his attention diverted by the annoying Bozo in the dump tank, wasn't paying attention which made things slightly easier. He swirled the soda around just enough to have the powder disappear. By the time the cup got into Kurt's hands, it was impossible to tell that something was added. Of course, all the walking was also making them both hungry.   He spotted another vendor that sold meals and provided a tented area for people to sit and eat. "Hey, Kurt? Let's eat lunch here," he said. Kurt just nodded, looking slightly troubled. Lance gently touched his back to guide him in the direction of the tent.  "Go find us a seat.  Just tell me what looks good for you before you do." Kurt shied slightly away from his touch, earning a grin from Lance. Kurt looked up at the menu, pointed to one of the pictures, then went in under the tent to save them a seat. Lance grinned to himself.  This was perfect. He ordered their meals, plus two brownies with powdered sugar on top as a desert.  When he stopped to get the plastic forks and napkins, he took that opportunity to open one of his packets that was small enough to be mistaken as a packet of salt.  Making sure that no one was looking, he dumped it on top of Kurt's brownie and then made his way to the German kid. X Kurt felt weird. "Are you okay?" asked Lance, touching his shoulder. Kurt realized that he was leaning into him.  He quickly straightened up.  "Ja," he replied.  "Sorry. Got dizzy for a moment." Come to think of it, he had been feeling dizzy ever since they got out of the Orbitron. And it hadn't gone away with all the other rides they had gone on. Although, it was fun for a bit. "Maybe we should get you some soda," suggested Lance, tugging at his wrist to take him aside. Kurt watched Lance in curiosity. It had been scary thinking about spending some time with Lance.  But as it turned out, the guy was behaving.  And Kurt was feeling himself relax and having fun. Now if only the dizzy feeling would go away. Lance turned to give him his drink, a playful smirk on his handsome face. No wonder Kitty liked him. Kurt mentally backtracked, as he smiled back at Lance. Handsome? What was he thinking? Well, sure the guy was handsome.  Had that roguish bad boy look that apparently most girls liked.  But just because he agreed Lance was handsome didn't mean that he . . . well. . . that he thought of him as handsome. Right? "Earth to Kurt," he heard someone say. "Uh, sorry," responded Kurt, pulling away from the hand waving in front of him.  "Just thinking." "About what?" Lance asked, his voice suddenly sounding very low and husky. Kurt felt his body reacting to that sound. No, no, no! Not again! I do not like Lance that way! "Just stuff," he responded, wincing when he heard himself squeak. Lance chuckled as he put an arm around Kurt's shoulder. Kurt tried to keep himself from shuddering. His nose picked up soft traces of Lance's cologne. . . He's wearing cologne? It smelled nice and seemed to suit Lance just fine. Kurt stopped himself again. Just what was he thinking?! Lance's arm dropped from his shoulder, his hand grazing his lower back.  Kurt could feel his blood rushing to a lower part of his body.  He tried taking deep and calming breaths, hoping that it would just go away. But it's making you feel good, isn't it? his mind seemed to ask. No! he mentally responded to himself.  It makes me feel weird. Lost in his own world, Kurt didn't see Lance's lustful look. X Scott, Jean, Rogue, and Kitty all looked around. "He's here," said Jean.  "I can pick up faint traces of him, but I can't pin point his exact location." "This is stupid," said Kitty."I really hope you don't do this each time Lance and I hang out." "Since when did you and Lance begin dating?" asked Scott, eyes flashing. "I didn't say date," retorted Kitty.  "I said hanging out.  Like at school.  But I'm not talking about that.  I mean, it's like you don't trust Kurt to take care of himself.  If Lance meant to hurt him, I'm positive Kurt will, like, you know. . . contact us!   Or just bamf away." "Ah don't know," said Rogue.  "I mean, I don't think Lance would seriously harm him, but. . ." "But what?" asked Jean. "But Lance and the others did work for Mystique." Everyone remained silent.  None of them had thought of that possibility. "You think Lance might be trying to convince him to change sides?" asked Scott, horrified. "Ah don't know," exclaimed Rogue.  "Ah'm just saying. . ." "Let's see if the others spotted him," Kitty jumped in.  While she trusted that Lance wouldn't hurt Kurt, she wouldn't put it past him to lure Kurt away.  After all, Mystique was his boss, no matter where she currently was, and she did claim that Kurt was her son. X Kurt glance around.  The fun house was dark and lots of things had already popped out, both startling him, or making him laugh. . . nervously. Lance was standing real close to him. Each time he was startled, he'd take a step back and bump into Lance. Or Lance would grasp him by the shoulders to steer him clear of obstacles or to urge him forward. His nerves felt like they were on fire with each touch that was made. But he didn't ask for Lance to stop. At least in the dark, Lance couldn't tell the effect he was having on him.  Once they got out into the sun, Kurt was going to try to escape.  Maybe give some lame excuse like he had a headache or felt sick and wanted to go home.   The exit wasn't that far. He could see the red glowing letters, and the tiny bit of sunshine coming in through the cracks. His hand felt along the wall and he could here the screams from a couple of girls behind him that must have just started their tour.   Then he felt Lance's hand fall  heavily on his shoulder. Kurt paused, the slowly turned around to look up at Lance's face. It was kind of eerie, actually.  There was just enough light to keep most of Lance's face dark.  But his eyes glittered. "I'm really glad you came here with me," he said, gently tugging at Kurt's shoulder so that he would turn around completely to face him.  "I know you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you, but I'm glad that you're still taking the time to be my friend."  He lifted his hand and brushed away a stray lock of hair from Kurt's face. Kurt found himself leaning into his touch.  Then he pulled back with a small gasp. Lance didn't seem to notice.  "May I?" he asked, leaning forward. Kurt froze, unable to respond.  His breath quickened as did his heart rate, and his whole body felt like all of his fur was on end. Kurt closed his eyes as Lance's lips touched his. He really wasn't aware of stepping backwards into the wall.  It was only until Lance's hand grasped his waist was he aware of the wall pressing into his back. The light touch was enough to send an electrifying jolt through his body, making him gasp once more. Lance deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue in, causing Kurt to moan.  Kurt's hands slowly came up to grasp at Lance's shoulders.  Lance, in return, moved one hand to cup the back of Kurt's head, and the other wedged itself between the wall and Kurt's back, pulling him forward. Kurt could feel something hard pressing against his upper hip, and it scared him.  But at the same time, Lance's leg was pressed up against his own hardness, and it felt good. Lance broke the kiss, and Kurt gasped for air.  He stared up at Lance, confusion greater than ever. He kept telling himself that he didn't want Lance like this.  So why did that kiss feel so good?  Why did his hand feel so good upon his fur?  And why he fhe feel so disappointed that Lance was pulling away.  Gods!  He wanted Lance to continue kissing and holding him! Lance leaned forward once again.  "Why don't we ditch this place and hang out some place else." Kurt slowly nodded, letting out just a tiny gasp as Lance pulled him close. In a flash, both of them were gone. A couple seconds later, a group of girls ran through towards the exit. X Jean groaned in frustration.  "I had him for a moment, but he's gone," she said. A bunch of giggling and screaming girls burst out of the fun house behind her, causing her to frown at the further distraction. Scott sighed.  "Well, Kurt did agree to meet up with us in an hour.  Maybe we should try to have some fun until then." "Like, finally," huffed Kitty. The group headed out towards the more thrill seeking rides. Scott, however, knew that he would not enjoy the rest of his stay.  His stomach hurt with anxiety, and the anticipation that something bad was going to happen.  He hated having no control. tbc...