The Forbidden Desire

It took her three months to build up enough guts to finally give in to her yearnings. Mike had called and told her that he wouldn’t be home until morning and to not wait up for him. She sat alone at the kitchen table for the longest just thinking about the past. Over and over again she tried to shake off the affect Logan was holding on her, but she was tired of fighting it. She knew she loved him and regardless of what the outcome would be she felt like he needed to know.
Every time she entered the house he was either gone or he was on his way out. She no longer greeted him because she knew he wouldn’t acknowledge her. Sometimes their eyes would meet, but she would quickly dart them away afraid he would get enraged. Ororo knew she had hurt him, but she didn’t think he was in love with her so the pain could not have been unbearable for him, but it was becoming that way for her.
She wanted him desperately. Just to feel his touch again would make her aching go away. Since the kiss from the gym she wished that Mike would somehow match it, but no matter how she forced her tongue into his mouth he didn’t have the same eagerness to take over, become overwhelmed with the fervor like Logan did. Release had not been easy for her, concentration was hard to keep unless she thought of Logan while Mike was above her. She was too afraid to let her imagination run wild because she knew she would not be able to stay quiet. Her cries would be for him, not her husband.
Now, as she walked up the stairs she felt her mind chastising her, demanding that she turn right back around and go home and wait for the man she made a promise to. Ororo just could not listen, she had listened to her mind for sometime now and though it had steered her in the right direction several times her heart could not take one more second of this loneliness.

She didn’t want to knock because she was sure he wouldn’t answer. Instead she just turned the knob and stepped right inside his room. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did she found Logan sitting in a chair with his feet propped up. He casually smoked on a cigarette. She could see the fire more as he sucked it in.
“Well Ro’ I wasn’t expectin’ visitors. What can I do for ya?” His voice indicated nothing but harsh sarcasm.
She was nervous, he could smell it, even saw the way she blinked rapidly and fiddled with the fabric of her dress. He breathed steadily, reached over and put the tobacco stick out. She had guts coming all the way up here; barging into his room.
“You know you got me at a bad time. I was about ta leave.”
“Why is it every time I’m entering you’re leaving? Are you trying to avoid me?” She asked softly with a small smile.
Logan grinned towards her direction, ”Well, I guess ya could say that. Doesn’t matter what the reason behind it is. I can leave when I feel.”
He saw her nod her head slowly, ”Ya didn’t answer me.”
She raised her eyebrows as if she was confused.
“What do you want?” Logan suddenly snapped. He watched her freeze at his sudden tone.
I love you, that’s what I came to say! She opened her mouth to shout, but she couldn’t find her voice. His harsh attitude suddenly made her fear saying a thing. Slowly she walked towards him swallowing hard.
She reached out and ran her hand through his unruly hair before she eased into his lap.
“Ro…what are ya doin?” Logan asked, to shocked to push her off.
Oh boy. She’s got guts.
She looked at his face and traced his lips with her fingertips.
“I love you.” She whispered softly to him. She had said it so softly she wondered if he’d heard her.

He had. He wanted to push her off of him, yet at the same time he wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her go. He didn’t do anything for a long time and Ororo felt tears threatening to fall, but she held them in. She drew closer to him and tried to kiss his mouth, but he nodded his head, no.
So, she loved him. She loved him but she was married to another.
Logan was tired of all of these emotions. Shit that only came out of him with her around. He didn’t want to look at her, he didn’t want to feel the way he felt and he continued to fight with them. He brought back the day he’d came back over and over again. To late. To late to stop her from marrying that man. He was still so angry that she actually did it.
He looked directly into her eyes, searching for something. A sign that she was lying; that she was trying to toy with him. That is what she had been doing, toying around with the feral Wolverine’s feelins’ like they were clay. Maybe she didn’t realize it, but he wouldn’t let himself think about that for a long time. She had to know, she just didn’t care.
“How long ya’ been l….” He couldn’t even let the damn word slide out of his mouth.
“I’ve been for a long time,” Ororo sighed,” but I’ve been fighting it. Trying to hide it and hoping maybe it would just disappear. Logan what I feel will not leave and I can’t deny it any more.”
Her peppermint breath so close to his face made him grin. He licked his lips and leaned forward, putting his arms around her. He felt her relax quickly into them. He missed her body next to his and it felt good near him again.
Ororo took his embrace as a good sign. She kissed his forehead and then his cheeks, but when she tried for his lips he didn’t open them for her, he didn’t kiss her back. She tried again, gently parting her mouth, trying to let him taste her tongue. Gradually, he opened his mouth. The sweetest taste filled his tongue as he felt her exploring inside.
They kissed, tenderly for a long time it seemed. She took his hand from around her waist and brought it up to her breast. He squeezed it, kneading it roughly in the palm of his hand. As much as he wanted to get lost holding, touching, smelling her, Logan would not allow himself to do so.
So she loved him. She was acting as if she wanted him and he knew she really did. She had guts comin in here, declaring such a thing, but she was now vulnerable. He grinned wickedly before he took his other hand and reached into her hair. He pulled it harshly, causing her to look up at the ceiling. He licked her neck right before kissing it. So long and graceful, prefect for kissing, licking, sucking. He opened his mouth to her skin and lightly began to suck at it.
“How nice of you to tell me what ya feel, Darlin.” Logan said bitterly before he went back to sucking at her neck, with more yearning.
He was furious as he felt the pain washing over him in waves. He wanted her to feel it. He gripped at her entangled locks around his fingers even harder and he removed his hand from her breast, downward. The heat, the heat that someone’s body can bring you can relax you, but it didn’t do this to him. Her warmth wasn’t real. He was freezing as he touched her. He knew Mike had to have touched her in similar ways just like he was doing at this moment. He knew Mike had kissed her, watched her bathing, bathing with her, massaged her. He wondered if her toes curled up as Mike let his lips taste her.
It was like fire, excruciatingly burning his flesh as he let his dried hard hand roam over her thigh. Her breathing came out in gulps. As if she couldn’t breathe from just her nose alone. Her essence was everywhere, overbearing. It felt as if it was choking him. She drew up her long dress, allowing him to touch at her naked skin. Logan closed his eyes tightly, cringing as he searched between her legs, ripping her panties easily. He touched her and she intently cried out her joy. Telling him yes, to touch her there again.
He slid two fingers inside her hold and used his thumb to massage at her clit. Her juices flowed from inside like a spring. Wetting his hand and making him hard.
“Logan, yes.” She hissed as she began to rhythmically grind her hips.
It had been so long waiting on this and Ororo closed her eyes. She entwined her fingers into his hair.

He could not do it any longer. He knew if he continued he would turn into an animal and kill her. He wanted to kill her so desperately. She just didn’t realize he was going crazy. Suddenly he stopped, breathing harshly as he fought to control his anger. As much as he wanted to kill her he knew afterwards that his pain would never go away.
“Leave, I can’t take this.” He said, panting.
It took Ororo a second to long to grasp what was happening to him. He gripped her arms tighter then he’d ever done to a woman, making her shriek in pain.
“If you don’t leave, I don’t know what I’ll do.” He forced out.
She looked at him confused and afraid.
“Logan you wouldn’t hurt me…” She said with slight challenge.
He narrowed his eyes at her, not believing she’d try to defy him.
“I want to kill you!” He suddenly yelled at her. His arms getting even more tighter on her as if she were his enemy. An enemy that he had to destroy.
Painful tears feel from her eyes as she mumbled that she loved him again, but he nodded his head to her as if to say she couldn’t possibly know what that felt like, to love. He stood up with her dangling in his grasp and then he flung her down. Watching as she hit the floor. He regretted what he’d down instantly, but the Wolverine couldn’t let her hurt him like she was trying to do. She just would not stop.
Ororo weakly got up and started for the door just as Logan began to rush after her. She closed the door and heard him just as quickly lock it. Sliding to the floor she started to cry.
“Get away, Ororo. I can smell you.” She heard him growl.


Logan fought with his inner beast all night long. It was past two o’clock when he was able to calm down. All he wanted to do was move on. He knew it was a bad idea to have stayed. He should’ve never came back, but he refused to let her think she had that much affect on him. Logan had missed the school, the kids. It really was his home and traveling around made him miss his routine. The problem was Ororo was involved with it.
He couldn’t believe she had made him this angry. He had been controlling his inner beast well, but the heavy load of emotions that sprang from his insides could not be confined. She didn’t know what love was. If she truly did, she would not have married who she married. Even if she was wrong with what she had just claimed, Logan knew he was wrong for losing control and putting his hands on her. He never thought he would have done that, not to her. The last person on this earth that he wanted to do was physically hurt her, yet the fear and hurt in her eyes did something to lesson his pain. Seeing her feeling the way he was feeling clouded the truth.