The Unbearable Lightness of Being... Canadian

Authors Note: After seeing the art of Devolution and I couldn’t resist. I mean Pietro and JP, Northstar and Quicksilver, both twins, both fast, both incredibly hella hot.
I want to thank JF Bibeau and Elspeth Dixon for helping me beta this thing. JF for helping me with my Quebecois French

Unbearable Lightness of Being… Canadian

X-men Evolution Verse.

Evolutiorthsrthstar. Just when the whole gang goes to the World Ski Fest, a group of insane French Canadians plan to take over Upstate New York AND Pietro’s been kidnapped by one of them.Who can save Pietro from the Canadians? It ain’t no thang but a chicken wing.

***
It was a bright and beautiful day in Lake George, New York. The World Ski festival was well under way when the Van pulled up to the hotel.

“Man I never thought we’d get here.” Kurt said. I forget how big this state is. If you would travel for two hours in Germany and you’d end up in Switzerland.”
“Hmm.” Kitty nodded She was in a powder pink ski suit, with an black and grey angora beret with a matching scarf. She’d bought the whole thing that weekend at the mall, and borrowed Jubilee her old ski hat. Pom poms were so passé after all.
Kurt was bundled in a rather slim wool coat looking rather like a Napoleanic great coat, and mittens. Actually his mom sent him three pairs of special gloves wiatchatched the yellow baby duckies on his Christmas scarf. His mom was such a dork. What 16 year old had baby duckies on their scarf? Scott was going to borrow his ski gloves for about ten minutes, until he apologized for being an insesnsitive prat. Kurt stole them anyway, and stuffed the middle finger and pinky finger with Kleenex. Giving his hands extrrmthrmth. He stared at his middle finger often wondering if anyone would realize it wasn’t moving.
“Kitty does my middle finger look all right?”
“Why you gonna flip someone off?” Kitty said absently
“Kitty.” Kurt nudged her.
“Oh. Just be careful with that. Don’t shoot anyone the bird by accident.”
The students of Xavier’s Academy where jumping out of the van already. Kurt Wagner and Kitty Pryde stretched exiting the van. Evan yawned so hard he cracked his neck.
“I wish my sister was here.” Kurt said “She’d so totally love it. But she has to go off being a real X-men.”
“That’s stupid Kurt. We’re X-men too.” Kitty said touching her toes
“Yeah but we have to go to school, and all that stuff.” Kurt said “I wish we could go with them. I mean we’re on January weekend. Why can’t we go on those kind of missions?”
“Look we’ve got to be the role models now. We’ve got to watch those idiots don’t hurt themselves. Someone has to help Logan.” Kitty smiled
“Besides they don’t have time to see the light of day cooped up in the X-mansion. You know what else?” Kitty said.
Kurt sighed “What, Kitty.”
A clump of slush hit his face.
“No time for a snowball fight.” Kitty wiped off her mittens.
“Why you!” Kurt shook his human looking fist at her. “You’ve got to be careful of my inducer.”
“Inducer nothing. This is war.” Kitty said sharply.
“Gah my face. You are going down Pryde.” Kurt growled playfully.
Kurt scooped up a clump in his tail and flung it through her. She stuck out her tongue, where threw to more snowballs.
Meanwhile the ball that phased through Kitty then hit Beserker in the chest.
“You jerks no powers in a snow fight.
Beserker scooped up a clump and lobbed it at Kitty only to watch it turn into a fireball. She phased into the ground.
Kurt Teleported behind her and snatched her hat.
“Hey my new hat. Give it Back Kurt!”
“Happy to oblige Katchen.” He pulled it over herd, od, only it was filled with snow.
Kitty coughed.
Jubilee and Amara ducked behind the wall. And they started scooping up snow. Into premade piles
“Oh great.”
Kitty Phased through a tree, and used it as a barricade.
Kurt phased in a barraged the two girls with a reign of missiles only to vanish. Before Amara could strike back
“Three hundred Points if you hit Kurt.” Ray shouted
“Like to see you try. I have skills to pay the bills, dude.” The German fuzzball shouted.
The balls were flying heavy until Logan walked into the field.
“Kurt what is going on. I thought you were going to unpack the car.”
“Well we were just.”
At this Kitty phased up through the center of the Earth and started throwing snowballs. ‘Take that Freak!”
And before Kitty could not throw it, Wolverine was in the path of a very substansial ice ball.
The studentswent silent.
Wolverine clutched his head “Iceball. Gah Halfpint right in the ear.”
The entire group stood shocked.
“Foul play.”
“Are you okay? MR Logan.” Kitty whimpered, fearfully.
Logan tried to stand up. “I’ll be ok.” He lurched to the side. Lowered himself onto the ground.
“Because if you’re hurt.
He then nailed Kitty right in the mouth.
Kurt laughed so hard that Wolverine got him in the back of the head.
“I’m the man.” Logan said rubbing his ear. “If you paid more attention to you combat training.” He slapped his head. “I think I got water inside of my brain.
“Well at least we can take comfort in nothing up here can go wrong.” Kurt thouto hto himself grabbing snow.
***
A sedan drove down the route, after 6 hours of driving along I-95. It came to a complete stop as it reached the parking lot of the ski lodge. When the car came to a stop a huge pile of bodies fell out. Each one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants muttering like children.
“I gotta pee.” Fred wailed.
“Hello Lake George. We have arrived. Party time.” Tabitha was in pink and turquoise 80’s ski wear and had a homemade knitted hat with ear flaps and three pom poms on top.
“God damnit I need a cigarette.” Wanda shoved through the others. She had the largest Russian hat on Earth.
“Damn it’s cold.” Pietro swore retracting to the car.
“We’re going to the mountains. Of course it’s cold Pietro.” Lance said. The boy jumped through the window in the front Seat, instead of opening the front door. He had hunting gear on a jarring contrast of camouflage and neon orange, and an Elmer Fudd hunting cap.
“Lets go build anatomically correct snowmen.” Tabitha suggested.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
“Hey Wanda you want me to light yer cigarette?”
All at once the X-men turned around to listen to the unmistakable sound of chaos.
“Oh no not them.” Kurt wailed.

“Hey Blue.” Tabby waved.
Immediately the Brotherhood was in direct contact with the thing they hated the most.
“Hey. That’s why you must have wanted to come up here Lance.”
“Wait a second.” Pietro glared at Lance.
“I neglected to mention that the X-men were here?” Lance chuckled.
“Like you always do. gahhh. You always do this. Just so you can see Kitty.” Pietro said making a disgusted face. “I can’t believe you’re pulling this bulshit again.”
“We’re here to get some snow.” Lance said.
Tabitha hooted.
“You can’t be up here.”
“Why not? No school this weekend.”
“We were bored. We thought this was as fun as anything. You X-men are the onnes nes who get to have any fun?” Pietro said
Kitty drew Kurt aside. “We can’t just persecute them for no reason.” Kitty said eyeing Lance. “They have a right as citizen to go wherever they want.”
“As leader, I see no reason why we can’t engage in Detente, or a truce.” Pietro crossed his arm.
Kurt bit his lip. “Well then enjoy your weekend. We won’t hassle you if you don’t hassle anyone.” Kurt said.
Pietro crossed hhis arms “I can live with that.”
“But I’ve got my eye on yAny Any of you abuse your powers you’ll have to deal with me. I’m the responsible one this trip.”

The Brotherhood started laughing.
“No not Kurt.” Lance shook his fists. “Why did it have to be Kurt?”
“OOOh. I’m scared.”
“Hold my Pietro.” Toad clutched Lance
Come on we don’t wanna get Kurt Wagner mad.” Wanda chuckled.

“I’m big and he’s little.” Fred said.

Tabitha chuckled “Hey No problem, Blue. Not even to toast a bagel. Blue. Anything for you sweetcheeks.” Tabitha patted him on the butt. “So hows it going with the Normal anyway.”
“My girlfriend is not a ‘normal.’ Stop calling her that. Why don’t you just hang out with them and leave us out of it.”
Kurt and Kitty shook their head.

“Great the Brotherhood, iceball in the ear and eight obnoxious kid. Last time I talk Charles into letting me run the field trip. Why don’t you take the kids up into the mountains.

“Now we got that out of the way lets have some fun.”
“Speak for yourself. My idea of fun involves a Post Equatorial Beach, not some hell hole in the middle of upstate New York 3 million miles out of Bumblefuck, New York.”
“Pietro we’re an hour away from Buffalo.” Todd pointed out.
“Does not you Romani heart long for the wild desolate places?” Wanda clutched her chinchilla muff to her chest.
“As long as they got cable.” Pietro saluted him.

According to Todd’s humble opinion, Wanda was looking positively hot in the snow. Her fair skin and almond shaped Eurasian eyes made her look like a Russian Princess of yore. And the biggest chincilla hat in the world didn’t hurt either.
Wanda snorted. “You are so uptight.”
“Look you can’t get Pietro to do anything fun.” Lance said. “Even if it’s for his own good.”
“But he’s ruining the trip.”
“Not my trip. Come onda lda lets get going.”
***
Bobby was running around in a windbreaker and sneakers.
“Hey Bobby I told you to put on a parka. Kitty tugged on his arm. “You can’t run around outside You’ll catch your death,” She hissed in his ear.
Bobby turned into a sheet of ice.
“I’m wearing ear-muffs. They look cool.”
“Pretend you’re effected by the extreme cold. We don’t want to get in trouble.”

Bobby stuck out his tongue.
***
The gang had split up Amara, Jubillee Sam and Ray were hanging out on the slopes.

Jubilee skied down a tiny path ach oh snow “Okay Okay. I’m getting it.”

“So this skiing.” Amara stood up on her poles with far less grace. “We don’t have anything like this back home.”

“Yeah we chicana don’t normally get on the slopes. This is more of a Scott Summers thing.”
“When do you get good at it?” Amara said.

Bobby snowboarded around them. The snow got into Sam’s nose.
Bobby guffawed.
“You jerk.” Beserker. tossed a fireball at him.

“Can’t catch me can’t catch me.” Bobby said as a flood of lightning bolts, fire balls and other unexplained phenomena occurred about him.

***
The brotherhood figured that anything that cost that much money was foserosers anyway. However ice skating was practically free. All you had to do was display your guest pass. (Which Wanda and Toad stole from people who were changing into clothes.

Wanda laced up her skates. Todd was in his already. He put his finger on the knot to help her tie it up.
Then as she laced up the other shoe, he used his tongue so she grabbed her hat and swatted him.
“Here we go.” Toad smiled “So do you want to pair off, my little Snow Bunny?”
“Get lost ”
”

“You know it’s much more impressive and fun to skate in pairs..”

Todd did a double Lutz and caught her hand. Wanda’s eyes popped.
The onlookers clapped
“Thank you I’ll be here all weak.”
“You’re really good Tod.”
“Thank you my little snow fox. It’s all a matter of practice. Let me teach you to spin.”
“Like that. No thank.”
“Of course not like that.”

Wanda held his hand. “No funny stuff”
Todd laughed “Alright. I guess I’m wearing you down.”


“Wouldn’t you just love to see Pryde fall through the ice.”


Lance and Kitty were putting on their skates.
Boy this is a lot cheaper than skiing.” Lance muttered to himself. Kitty looked at him.
Lance chuckled “I mean more fun.
I’d love to be yoartnartner.
“Besides, we’re in the mountains. I can’t very well use my powers here without burying the village. I wasn’t gonna go. I been practicing you know not rocking.”
Kitty looked at him. Lance never ceased to amaze her. He was actually making an attempt to control his powers this weekend. He never controlled his temper. Sophmore year he was the one who knocked thescoreboard onto Principal Kelley’s head.
“I figure this is the best plto sto start. What with all the snow.”
“You think you can control your power for that long?”
“Yeah If I can go three days without ting ing I’ll be set.”
I never realized you could be mature. I mean I don’t think I could go three whole days without using my power. It must be killing you.”
“Well you know. I could use a pleasant distraction.”
Kitty waggled her eyebrows “I can be a distraction.”
“Really.”
“Oh yeah I have extensive credentials. As distraction diversion and annoying pest.”
“Diversion well.”

“Hey Kitty watch out for the ice.”
“Why is it slippery?”
thinthink I’m able to handle a little.”
The second she stood she fell on her ass.
The shock caused her to lose temporary control of her powers so instead of sitting on the ice. Soon she was hip deep.
“Holy fuck that’s cold.” The young X-man swore at the top of her lungs.
Lance shriveled a bit.
Kitty slipped, her arm phased through the ice.
“It’s frozen. Phase out.”
Kitty’s face turning bright red.
Immediately Fred and Toad started laughing houlhould stop wanting bad things to happen to people.” Wanda smirked, “And definitely stop laughing about them.”
“Smooth move Kitty. The Ice Capades called.” Tabitha shouted.
“You did that somehow.” Kitty Was livid and soaked. “I’m telling.”
“Ooh no Kurt Wagner is going to scold me.” Wanda chuckled
“Heavens no.” Toad said “Oh we will repent.”
“You two deserve each other,” Kitty said to Toad and Wanda. She tossed her head over to Lance.
“Kitty you need any help?”
Kitty shoved him off “Look I can handle myself.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t catch you.”
“Call me when the loser patrol is gone Lance I need a hot shower. Toad touched me.”
“Kitty. Aw come on Kitty.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I didn’t do nothing man. I just laughed callously as she struggled.”
“Yes. Why would we waste our time on dunking Kitty in the frozen lake.” Wanda asked him.
“Besides if we were responsible she would have gone head first.” Toad chuckled.
Lance growled and grabbed him by the collar.
“Whoa whoa whoa. Easy there Charley.”
“Then I’ll have to kick your ass manually.” Lance lifted Toad off the ground and started strangling him.
***
Pietro hung out on the edge of it all.
Pietro gave Toad and Wanda a puzzled look as if to ask what does she see in him. Well he did treat her like a goddess. And she didn’t seem to have muelf elf esteem considering how she dressed like a trashy dungeon master. Maybe she just wanted someone to treat her nice, and make her feel like a girl.
Then there was Lance and Kitty, so sickening. So conventional that Lance didn’t even realize he was such a dork. He’d much rather see Wagner get sexually harassed by Boom Boom anyday. I mean normally when Boom Boomsexually harassed people it was, well , him. But watching her ride the German cream puff was kind of funny for a while. But soon even the priceless insults were grating on him.
From the couple skiers, to Amara and Evan on the bunny slope. Was everybody in the entire world pairing off.
Pietro took a long look at the scene. He shook his head. People had such low standards. Everyone here was such a loser. How could anyone find anything. Pietro snorted. He’d had enough of this. He was going back into the car.
***

The Brotherhood of Mutants all collected around the car.
Tabitha grinned. “This was such an awesome idea Wanda. Snow babes, snow balls snow cones.”
“We got to see Kitty Pryde get trapped in the lake. That was a bonus.” Wanda nodded.
“Just what old Tabitha needed. You rock my socks.” Tabitha flicked her hat.
Wanda nodded and snorted.
Tabitha looked straight at her. “Like If I ever went Lesbian, like you would be the first chick I would do.” Tabitha clapped her arm around Wanda.
“Your casual and off color remarks on sodomy are appreciated, Tabitha.” Wanda regarded her “Now give me your cigarette.”
“Here you go.”
Wanda took a long drag. “Mmmmm. Poisonous toxins.”
Pietro stuck his head out the window. “Give that back Tabitha. I swear you’re always stealing my cigs.” Pietro stuck his head out of the car.
“Pietro. Are you still in the car?”
“I am staying in the car. It’s freezing out there. Who wants to whimp around on a pair of ice skates? It’s so lame.”
“Come on it’s really fun, Speedy. You don’t want hold Tabitha’s waste do you.””
“I’m sorry but frictionless motion isn’t my bag. It’s so slow.”

“Everything is slow to you Pietro. You just suck. You can never have any fun.” Tabitha said.
Wanda looked around.“Come on Pietro it might be more fun then spending five hours in a car. Don’t you want to berate the X-men a little.”
“Yeah Kitty almost froze to death.”
“I can do that at home thank you.”
“They are right to call you a Dork.” Wanda said, “I’m going to go bury Tod in snow until his central nervous system shuts down.”
“Romance is in the air.” Pietro waved his hand from the wi.
.

“I promised I’d meet Kitty at the Ski competition. The X-men have front row seats. And
“Hot nubile male athletes in colorful Mytex outfits. Hell yeah. I brought my binoculars, get some birdwatching in.”
“Like what kind of birds.” Fred asked.
“You guys can’t come.”
“Come on I’m cool with the X-Geeks… I wanna see the skiers.”

***
The highlight of the Weekend was going to be an international Ski Meet, where all of the worlds top skiers under 20 category, would meet to compete in ten events. All of the international ski teams were setting up. Team Japan was stretching. These guys would be in the Olympics this year if they were lucky.
It didn’t hurt that all of these young athletes were in skin tight ski uniforms.
Bobby and Sam were trying to ghe dhe downhill skier on the German team to notice them by waving their arms in the air and shouting how hot they were.
Kurt shouted congratulations in German.
If anything the girls were a hundred times worse. Kitty didn’t realize that guys had such a double standard. They could hoot at team Germany but when Tabitha shouted down the sleek athletes of Team Japan, Lance blushed.
Girls were getting eyefuls of sexy skiers bodies in whisper thin tight Mytex, the wonder synthetic of the new century, frictionless and indestructible.
All in all it was a very exciting day for both genders of mutants.
The Trinitron screen blared loud commercials and showed shot highlight reals of great skiers.
“The Cambell’s Soup Olympic moment”
Brought to you by Mytex. It’s not Spandex, it’s not Elastic. Light, waterproof and frictionless. It is the material supporting Athletes, Soldiers, and even your local super heroes. There is no more perfect material for all your sporting needs. Mytex.
And Beef it’s what’s for dinner.
“Whoa I didn’t know the Human Torch had commercial endorsements now.”
“Hey look a ski jump. A slalom they got everything here. This is so great.”
“Ja it looks like fun. Do you think that we could go on it? Tomorrow after the meet is over.”
“Oh yeah right Kurt you would totally bust your ass.”
***
Then the van arrived with the maple leaf arrived. It was Canadian team.

Immediately Japan and Germany got a disgusted look on their face and started pointing and glowering. It was a big deal to all of them apparently.
Out of the van stepped a tall young man with unruly black hair and pale eyes. His lips were pouty and plump. His cheeks drawn and delicate. He smirked and tossed back his hair. An insolent dark boy, with a smile in his lips but not his eyes.
The other skater teams winged, as they saw him approach, whispered behind his back. Harsh words were spoken. ow. ow. He’s hot.” Amara said tremulously.
“I hope we see more of him.” Jubilee growled throatily.
Kitty whistled.
Lance rolled his eyes.
“For team Canada. Jean-Paul Beaubier

“He looks so gay in that red Ski suit.” Bobby sniggered.
“Bobby don’t be immature.”
“You wear a stupid spandex costume too.”
“No ours are cool. That’s totally gay.” Bobby
Sam chuckled and Ray could barely contain his laughter.
The Canadian hovered on the edges of the conversation.
“Bobby shut up.” Jubilee laughed.
“Dude he is so gay. Look at his…”
Immediately the Canadian skier turned around.
“What you say to me Punk?” A heavy tough French accent, like a lumber jack. A huge finger pointed at Bobby.
“I didn’t…” Bobby chuckled. Bobby certainly talked himself into a jam now/
He grabbed Bobby by the collar and shook him.
“You said I was gay. Hah. That’s a big laugh, non, monhomme.” He gritted his teeth.
“I was just…”
“You got something to say to me bitch. I’ll mess that pretty face of yours up.”
“What?”
The Canadian tapped the side of his face.“You know I never thought about that. Maybe I’m gonna come after you. Mr. You looking pretty hot right now.
“Errrrrr.”
“Hey let go of him you big asshole.”
“What are you saying I’m not gay now… Cherie. I should beat in your ass ”
“Look it’s hee heh. None of my business. Please let me go don’t kick my ass.”
“Yeah let go.”
“Comeon dude we know it’s just a uniform.
He dropped Bobby on his ass.
“Now shut up and sit down. Or I make you my new girlfriend.” JP grabbed his scarf, and cut off his air. “Ma Cherie.”
“Okay Mr… sorry.” Bobby fell over himself.
He dusted his hands after touching him.
“Punkass.”
Then he walked away.
“Bobby!”
“Whatta Jerk.” Lance muttered. Thankful he had been tactful enough to not comment on the super gay red maple leaf ski suit. Not everyone could go around in a costume as cool as Avalanche’s was, after all. Especially not some French for Canadia or Europe or wherever the hell French people came from.
“Bobby are you all right.”
“That Canadian schooled you Bobby.”
“Shut up you were hiding under the bench.”
“I was getting ready to pounce.”

He grumbled at his international female fans, waving them down.
“Put away those posters. And let me concentrate. ”
“He is the biggest jerk.”
“What in the heck is wrong with him?”
***
Jean-Paul Beaubier was an impatient and unpleasant young man most of the time. His manager philanthropist and Olympics enthusiast Raymond Belamonde exited the car.
“Jean Paul please you are still on probation from the Olympic trials. Try to keep a low profile. He’s not that cute.”
“He called me gay. I shut his stupid little mouth.”
“Well we barely arrived in time for to talk to the press before you warm up.”
“I don’t want any interviews.”
“Jean Paul. What are you saying.”
“They always try to do those ‘Olympic moments’ crap. I just want to get out of here, Raymond. I want to get prepared. But all you bring in is these shrieking girls and all of these reporters.”
Jean-Paul touched his toes. “I can’t even concentrate. I thought you wanted me to win this thing.”
“I didn’t bring the girls. They came themselves. It puts you in a good light. You want publicity after what happened.”
“It’s stupid.” He said. “What should it matter I give it all out their on the slope?”
“You want the crowd behind you. You’re a role model, as a representative of Quebecois throughout Canada.”
“I’m a skier. How is that improving anyone else’s life? I’m going down piles of snow. It’s not very hard.”

“This is a major media opportunity. For all the problems that happened last year in Norway.”
“Just so they don’t play that stupid Road to the Olympics clip. I hthatthat. I will go back to Mon’real. You’ll lose yourself a ski team.”
“Try to be nice Lisa. She’s a nice girl. She’s not a Quebecois, but we have to keep her in our trust.”
“I don’t like Lisa. She’s a stuck-up cry baby. It won’t matter after today.”
“Yes. But we can’t let anything odd happen. It would ruin everything.”
In the huge Trinitron screen lit up.
“The Road the Olympics. Jean Paul Beaubier. A profile in courage. The authoritative voice of Bob Costas (or maybe Stone Phillips or even ) began. JP bristled at the sound of the photo montage. And the sappy music
“Jean-Paul Beaubier’s life is riddled with tragedy from a young age. At the age of two and a half, he was orphaned, when his parents died in a car crash…shuffled from foster home to foster home he was forced to fend for himself…”
“What is this shit?”
“JP, please.” Raymond held him back “It’s not… I didn’t know they were playing this clip.”
“That is none of your damn business. Turn it off Raymond I swear, I’ll throw a hammer through the screen.”
Immediately pitied eyes started looking at him.
“Oh how sad.”
“I hope he wins.”
“Poor young man it’s so sad. I hope he win the race.”
“Yeah I guess we know why he was acting like such a jerk.”
The pitied murmurs rose from the crowd. Each one was like a tiny pin in his skin. Each stab of pity and misplaced sympathy. He began to ball his fist.
“Screw you.”
He flipped off Xavier’s section.
“I am gone, Raymond. I can’t handle this” JP put on his parka.
“Look it’s not so bad. It’s just a…” Raymond patted him on the back. “I know it is hard Jean Paul. But try to understand.” Belamonde The race is in an hour.”
“I promised you I would leave if you played that damn clip again. Goodbye.”

***
“What makes him so nuts? He’s being a complete diva. He’s the one on ABC news and he’s complaining about the publicity? Fuck him. I don’t care what he’s been thorough he has not right to treat people like this.”
“He’s been going through a rough time.”
“Yeah like always.”
“Lisa. We don’t have the right to exploit his personal life for entertainment.”


****
He had been in training for three months, 6 hours a day, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no sugar for this. A bunch of gooey eyed girls screaming his name while he was trying to concentrate. Stupid meaningless “Road to the Olmpic moments. Stupid sports interviews. Everything. He wanted to hit the trail right now.
Those stupid promotions. Talking about how he was a starving orphan in Montreal. How he was disciplined, his whole life he had struggled. and how it sucked to be him but how strong he was to even survive. Soon Raymond would be adding his struggles as a young Gay man. Oh… he could see it now. Poor Raymond would think it would help people, that he was some kind of role model. He wouldn’t realize how big jok joke it was.
But it was never the whole truth. No never the whole story. His life was a stupid abbreviation, every injustice swabbed over. Every cold night spent in the awful Martin house hearing their harsh words of his peculiarity was ignored. Every street fight he could walk away from, and certainly not the ones he couldn’t, so broken, that he wanted to stay in a puddle, so that he would not have to wake up and be hungry anymore.
And he was no role model, there were days he barely felt human, let alone eager to be an example. The circus had kept him from drugs, which kept him alive, and Raymond had brought him the rest of the way. He didn’t mean to be so mean to the guy. But he was clueless. He had no idea what life in the real world was.
A role model couldn’t hate his fans. He hated them. If he ever got himself an interview he’d show them. He wasn’t some puppy-eyed sniveling brat, trying to impress his dead ma and pa. He was empty. Angry, and about to tear something apart. They should be glad they weren’t him, not giving him lauds and awards for his struggle. He couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.
There was a time in his life all he wanted was a shot like this, to get a gold medal at the Olympics… now it seemed his whole world was falling apart, and he didn’t know what he wanted.
He couldn’t find his hidden cigarettes. Raymond had been such a good trainer and always hated seeing him smoking. Raymond was a heavy smoker and kept trying to get JP to quit. But still there were sometimes, you either needed a cigarette or a hand grenade.
Jean-Paul Beaubier did like skiing. And he tried so very hard. Shouldn’t that be enough for them? He was a bit of looker and the camera loved him but why did they have to be so close? Why diey hey have to know everything? was was the press that had damaged his chances in the Olympics, and would ruin his entire carreer and life if they let it.
Skiing was as close as he could ever come to the frictionless light thing not of matter and flesh, but energy and light. Sometimes he glowed with the thrill of skidding down the slope. Faster Higher Lighter until he was a blur.
But this would be no matter of simple association. It would become too obvious. It would become too tempting. He should have given it up. He should have found something which kept him connected to this world.
But he could not, how many times do you get to realize who you are?
When he entered the parking lot he saw a pale haired youth, draped over the hood of the car,
The boy smoking into the air, opened pack of cigarette over his knee like some preternatural vision of the gods, only with nicotine. Like The Lady of the Lake revealing herself to Arthur with Excaliber. Like Hebe offering chalice of eternal ambrosia. A hottie in the parking lot with a full pack of Menthols.
Jean Paul approached. This boy’s eyes were dark, but not brown. No where near brown. They were stormy and sharp, like an eagle’s eyes. The real heart of their eyes which reflect such deep cs ass as greens and blues. His pale skin was even paler in the snow. White and drawn , like he had been inside, and the flush had not entered his cheek. JP regarded him smirking to himself.
God what a thrill it would be stealing that cigarette out of his mouth. He approached the car.
***
At the age of 11 was an active member of Cirque Du Soleil…:”
“He was in the circus? I didn’t know that.” Kurt muttered
“JP is so wonderful. He’s so sad.”
“I never realized that skiers had such sad lives.” Amara wept.
***

Pietro pushed back his hair. Bundled up in a sweater and a parka he would not put on that stupid fur hat. He hated being uncomfortable cold. He could feel his nose dripping.
“Hey you. Pigeon.”
Pietro startled, It wasn’t often he was caught off guard.
“Avez moi un ….” His eyes were deep and pale like snow, wild black hair with silvery black bangs and roots faced his, even though he sat on the roof.
“Can I have a cigarette?” He asked softly.
Pietro bit his lip and handed him one. He bit it with his teeth keeping his eyes Pietro.
“Light?”
Pietro looked away, and fumbled in his pockets for his lighter. The boy had snow cloud eyes, pale and bright, with hints of lightning, as if energy swam behind them, under the cornea. They didn’t even seem human.
“Here.” The boy placed the cigarette in his mouth gracefully. And lifted Pietro’s hand and lit his off the end of his. Pietro’s breath caught in his chest, even after he let go.
“You seemed perplexed. I’m only here to help,” He grinned. “I’m JP.”
“Pietro.”
Pietro finally got his eyes off his face. He was in a blue jacket, but instead of normal clothes he wore a Mytex jumpsuit with a maple leaf on the breast. The guy had no shame.
Pietro coughed “What in the hell are you wearing? You some kind of Superhero.”
“I’m no hero. My Boss invented this. You know Mytex. Lots of support, frictionless light weight, holds in heat. Perfect for this kind of thing. Skiing. It’s not too bad.” He said.
“Doesn’t leave much for the imagination.” Pietro snorted trying not to stare. After all he wasn’t wearing pants
“With Imagination like mine...” JP smirked.
Pietro smiled. “You must be here doing that Skiing thing. Quebec right?”
JP nodded, “Mon’real.”
“Hmmm.” He leaned on top of the car.
“You must be good at this skiing thing then.” Pietro uncrossed his legs
“I like it. I just do.”

“You don’t ski.”
“I don’t like the snow. Give me the beach anytime.” Pietro shook his head.
JP smiled.
“I mean what’s here for me. My idiot friends are chucking snowballs at each other.” Pietro tapped his cigarette ash.
“Sounds like fun to me. At least they are happy,” JP said. “ Someone should be.”
“Yeah real happy. My sister is trying to put the moves on the smelliest man in North America, and my best friend is trying to get the hook up with a dorky prep girl in a beret.”
“Beret. La marde.” JP shook his head. “Poor bastard.”
“It’s enough to make me sick,” Pietro said. “I’m totally done.”
They sat smoking delicately looking up at the sky.
“If I knew any better I could hotwire this car and get out of here.” Pietro took a drag.
JP smiled at him “I know. We should just get out of here right now and forget it all. Go down to Buffalo and get some chicken wings. You know the chicken wings in Buffalo are famous.”
“Buffalo wings.” Pietro looked at him.
“Yeah forget all those small minded jackasses talking behind my back.” JP mused
“All those idiots trying to get with each other.”
“All the inane fan girls squealing my name.”
“And the explosions.”
They looked at each other, and began to chuckle.
“You’re life sounds pretty bizarre.” JP stared at him.

“Yes and yours sounds just terrible. Fans fawning all over you, money, fame, Olympic medals.”
JP bristled at that “no… No Olympic medals.” The boy became quiet, finished cigarette.

“You must not be very good then.”

“You must be joking me/ I’m the best skier out there. I can see faster than anyone I’ve ever met.”
I don’t buy that. Pietro smirked, “Not Gold medal material.”
“No.”
“So I see your just full of bullshit.”
“No. I can beat any skier here. Olympic or otherwise. It’s just some people are just not Gold medal material.”
“Yeah losers.”
JP turned to face Pietro. “But there are some people who can never escape the way they were born. And everyday of their life they know they are different, and they can never be a part of the world around them.”
“And then there are those who can’t ski well,” Pietro interrupted him. “Trust me I know a few things about not fitting in, and there are far worst things then not having a gold medal.”
JP looked at him “I’ll never be an Olympic athlete. But if I had the chance I would be the greatest ever. But they are too small minded to ever understand.”
“Sounds like loser talk to me.”
“I’m not a loser. And I can beat anyone of those skiers. I’m not afraid of them.”
“Every skier? But then you would be a win-ner.” Pietro made quotes around the word winner. “If you’re not afraid of them then just go and beat them and stop whining. It will all work out. I mean all you have to do is be on the other side of the line before they are.”
“I can do it.”
“Yeah you can do it.” Pietro must have said sarcastically
“I’ll show you.” JP stared at him “You won’t believe what I can do.”
“I’ll believe it when I don’t see it.” Pietro crossed his arms and turned around.
“All right. We’ll just have to not see.”

A girl shouted from the woods, “Pietro. You got any cigarettes.”
By the time he turned his head around JP was in the trees.
“Where’d he go?” Pietro said.
“Who was that? Oh my God he was hot… Where did he go?” Tabitha said
Pietro shrugged “He’s a skier on the Canadian team.”
“You mean the one who grew up with the Circus and lost his parents in car crash.” Tabitha asked “That was so sad?”
“What kind of bullshit was that?”
“Yeah and he’s going to be in the big race or something..”
“No way.”
“Maybe.”
“Dude Pie, so did you talk to him.”
“He just bummed a cigarette offa me.”
“You never let me bum cigs offa you. I have to steal them.” Tabitha smirked “Isn’t that interesting?”
“What’s interesting? You irritate me.”
“I think Pie got himself some action.”
“What?”
“Alright, you go girl.”
“Oh come on JP is like the hottest skier guy here, and you’re the only one he talked to all morning. Maybe he wants to get him fast and furious.”
“We were talking. You know what that is… It’s what you do after. Just talking.”
Tabitha laughed throatily. comecome on your blushing.”
“I’m not blushing. You’re blushing.”
“Huh I haven’t seen you blush this much since you bailed on that Double Date with me, Minute man.”
“Look we weren’t going to bring that up… again”
“I know, I know you don’t dig me like that. But him. He was pretty hot. Why don’t you throw him a bone… pardon the expression.”
“What?” Pietro stared at her.
“He’s probably shy. Why don’t you ask him for some coffee in the chalet? Maybe you could go to that….”
“Wait Tabitha he is a dude. You do realize that?”
“Yeah a hot one too.”
“Wait just a second I am not gay.”
“I’m not a X-men but I totally dig the benefits.”
“Look I don’t know what you’re talking about. We were just talking.”
“Talking right. Anyway. If your little rendevous is over with M’sieu Sexy, can I have cigarettes.”
“Tabitha you are such a freak.”He tossed the pack at her.“I am going for a walk.” Pietro grumbled.
Tabitha fumbled through the pack. “Hey, You Ponce. This is empty.”
“Go buy your own.”
She lobbed one charge at his head.
****
Pietro wormed his way to front. The Xavier’s kid and Lance were all excited, some of them teary eyed at the stupid Olympic moments reel. Which made everyone’s life seemed angst filled and horrendous. It made him sick being around so many idiots.
The crowd around the fence was ten deep around the fence but at least he could see the Trinitron, which showed how Janet Peterson worked way way back after cracking her coccyx and lower spine.
Jean-Paul walked up to Raymond.
“So when is this race.” JP said.
“You’re back. JP.” Raymond hugged him. “With Half an hour to go.”
“I’m warm already. I met someone in the parking lot. I was about to steal a car. And he convinced to ski.” This last time.
“JP they’ve been here for hours.”
“Hell, I’ll beat all those jerks sitting down. The plan will go on.” JP smirked at him.
“Oh JP, I am so happy. Now everything is going back on schedule. Vit vit. Allez. Go get your number.”
The other skiers looked as JP returned to the pen.
“Look Jean Paul is back.” Robert Baxley shouted. “Yes Team Canada’s star skier has returned. He was suffering some anxiety but now he looks in rare form.”
The girls gave him a quick cheer. He didn’t sneer at them. He shushed over to the bleachers.
His number affixed, and quite warm and enthusiastic, it was a scant half hour from the slalom race. His best event next to ski jump. He always did well on courses with lots of jumps.
“Allo Kago. See you at the bottom.” JP saluted.
The Japanese skier scowled at him. Team Spain, Germany and Russia snorted at the Canadian. They only hoped Kago had the stuff to dust that arrogant Quebecois.
JP turned away from his last minute taunting to approach the bleachers, the fans. Not unheard, most skiers who had their parents their were getting last minute good lucks.
The skier looked straight up at Pietro, Tipped his helmet, grey hairs sticking out of the edges.
“Allo Pigeon. You come to wish me good luck?”
“No.” Pietro tossed his head insolently.
“C’est vrai?”
“I was just getting cramped in the car.”
“Well will you?”
“What?” Pietro said coolly
“Wish me luck?” JP flashed a grin at him. Man his smile. He hadn’t seen that. Pietro was hypnotized by the whiteness.
Pietro looked at his playful frown. The skiers looked aback. They had never seen JP talking with someone, especially one of his fans, or even his groupies.
Team Spain chuckled when they realized it was boy. Team Japan smirked.
“Because it is ever so important to me that your jump over that thing on your ski things. Yeah. Go Win.”
JP leaned on one pole and shushed away “I’ll take what I can get.”
“GOOD LUCK, YOU BIG JACKASS!” Pietro shouted.
JP laughed “I think I like you.”
Raymond scratched his chin where have I heard that name before.
“Alor JP. (Congradulations)
JP skied off to the starting line.

***
The commentators we’re chatting to the mikes.
“The atmosphere charged with the race. Yes we finally have JP back. It’s race again. He was experiencing delays.”
“Yes now this is the race is going to be everything we intended. It’s going to be a clash of two young skiing titans. Japan’s Suzuki Kago also known as the Weasel, and Canada’s Northstar. And JP doesn’t need any introduction.”
“Kago has been in the Junior League for five years. Pulled in two world championships.”
“Jp on the other hand met the minimum age requirement only last year, and this is his second or third competition in the league.”
“It is uncanny.”
The camera panned over the fan girls. Two of them wearing sweaters with J an P on them. “These are some of the fans coming out to see him.”
“But now he’s here. He is warm. He looks ready to rip into the track. He does incredibly well in the ski jump. Everybody wants to see him do that. But this time the ski jump comes at the end of the day and not the beginning. It could do a lot of damage to his scoring.”
“Yes and Suzuki Kago is a master at this slalom race and with JP problem’s last year with his knee, and with the Olympic committee we don’t know if he can pull through.”
“I have to disagree Bob. They call him The Northstar, he just shines on the slopes. He is incredible. When it comes down to straight skiing you aren’t going to find a faster skier. I’ll put my money on hnydanyday.”
So you’re final bet, Kago or Beaubier?”
***
The skiers waited in their stalls. Their heads pointed down into course ahead. Not even smiling. Not even blinking.
The first flag fell without a flicker. And the second, a with a lord horn the Go flag fell. The skiers dug into to the mountain,
To the audience, they looked like insects so high up, so fast with the sunlight flashing off their equipment. It was so bright and impressive like an old fashioned army of warriors. Zipping towards them.
Eventually after the first burst the race had begun.
Kago was doing fabulous zipping down the hill smoothly, with JP behind him nipping at his heels.
“GO JP! Go Jean-Paul!”
They were both going faster than their competitor’s but Kago was just so smooth. No matter how much energy JP used he couldn’t win. JP gritted his teeth and tried to crouch lower, trying to gain more momentum. Trying to dig into the turns faster, but as he rounded the third flag, he began tailing Kago.
Kago’s turns were so sharp and his performance so mechanical that he soon stripped JP.
At this, a faint glow seemed to emit from his body.
Kago looked behind him, breaking his concentration. Completely stunned at the display
When the light became too bright. Immediately he went so fast quickly passing him so he seemed to blur.
Kitty and Kurt looked at each other
Lance’s eyes grew “Did you see that?”
“He must be a mutant.”
“He’s using his powers to cheat.”
“That is whack. How can he abuse his powers like that?” said Lance Alvers who was known to cause Earthquakes on Burrito day in the cafeteria to get an extra helping.
“Oh man. Wait till the Professor here’s about this. We might have a new student.”
“I felt sorry for that loser. I’ll bet he made up all that stuff about being in the circus…Circus folk should know better.” Kurt grumbled.

****
The whole human crowd was silent for a full twenty seconds, before erupting in screams and cheers. They had never seen anybody move so fast. Sure skiing was exciting but this was the most spectacular race they had ever seen. The JP girls were going nuts.
JP paused slightly. He looked at the adoring crowd stunned by his achievement
“Jean Paul!” Raymond grabbed him away from the crowd. Soon JP was arguing with his trainer in loud French.
“In the middle of a race? What in the hell are you thinking?”
“I didn’t…”
“My God I thought you stopped that. You can’t do this sort of thing.”
“Shut up Raymond. I didn’t try to do it. It just happened. I couldn’t help it.”
“Jean Paul how can you cheat like this? You work so hard all this year to win a legitimate race. To prove yourself.”
“I do so little cheating.”
“It’s one thing to give yourself an advantage. It is another to do this.”
“I had to do it. I didn’t even use my burst. I just started glowing.”
“JP how can you ever hope to get back to professional racing if you can’t learn to control your powers. Do you realize what you have done? The media will rip you to shreds.”
***
Immediately he was surrounded by reporters. The crowd was going psychotic, they boxed him in.
“JP. How are you feeling after surpassing all records in the Junior league?”
“What do you think this means for the rest of the meet?”
“Is there anything you’d like to say to the audience at home… Anyone you want to thank.
JP shoved the reporters out of his face.
“No I don’t have anyone to thank, Just Raymond. I can’t tolerate many people, and likewise me.
“Anything to say to the world.”
He glared at the reporters.
“Listen to me. Life Sucks, Life always will suck and Kago can’t prove shit on me.I don’t need to cheat to win against a skier like Kago. I ski faster than him. You fucks. You can’t prove shit that I did. Peace out.”
Pietro felt himself clapping despite the fact that the whole audience was stunned into silence.
He lightly pushed the reporters aside and his trainer herded him off.
“Pour toi Jean-Marie.” He blinked once and left the sight.
JP blew a kiss to the astonished crowd.
“Well we’ve all heard of Jean Paul Beaubier outrageous attitude.”
“He’s going to be the Bad Boy of Professional racing.”
“An intense troubled young man. And just a wonder on the slopes. Let’s look at that slalom clip again. It’s like he turned into a beam of light. He’s doing okay on the turn, and kazzooom.”
“Now the real problem begins.” JP said “Jean Paul Berbier shows his true colors.”
“You can always drop out now Jean Paul.” Raymond said “You don’t have to risk any more.”
“I’m in Raymond. I just wish I had time to do the ski-jump.”
“The Beaver will squeak at midnight. Stand in the designated place JP, if you are not there…”
“I will be there, Raymond.”

***