The Healing Process

Title: Healing a Need
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing, etc. Ya wanna sue me be prepared to waste money
summary: I don't know why I love torturing Logan...it's almost fun. Hank's speech might not be completely believeable because I just aint that literate.


Logan shuddered as his mind was overwhelmed with ecstacy. The sounds of nature all around him faded as his orgasm flowed from him. For a small moment, he forgot he was standing outside Harry's place fucking another man's wife while the guy was inside getting drunk.

"Shit..."

He slumped forward across Jean's back, panting and dripping sweat. The redheaded telepath sighed and squirmed out from under him. She smoothed down her rumpled skirt and shook out her hair. Logan eased himself to the ground with his back against the wood siding of the bar. Jean rummaged through her purse and pulled out a tube of lipstick, smearing it perfectly on her swollen lips. A quick spritz of perfume to cover the shameful stink of sex and she turned to Logan's reclining form.

"Wait a few minutes before you come back in. I don't want Scott getting suspcious."

Logan huffed and shook his head. "I know how this works Jean. This ain't our first time, 'member?"

He pushed himself to his feet using the wall as leverage and fastened the button on his jeans. Dr. Grey rolled her eyes and swung her purse on her shoulder.

"Stop reminding me. Like I want to think about the sad state of my sex life."

Logan snorted as he pulled down his shirt. "Yer the one that married the boy scout."

Jean simply scoffed and walked away, her spiked heels crunching on the gravel. Logan waited until he heard her enter Harry's before he slunk down and picked up a stashed bottle of bleach placed here for just this moment. He grimaced as he unscrewed the cap and the harsh smell hit his nose. He took a few deep breathes before throwing his head back and gulping down the contents of the bottle. He was going to need to get plastered to survive this night.
Logan gagged and coughed after the last drop was emptied. His stomach lurched and he bent over as some of the bleach was kicked back up. He ran the back of a hand absently across his mouth. He closed his eyes as he felt the liquid begin to take effect. He stumbled toward the back entrance of the bar and slipped inside.
The noises inside were dulled as Logan made his way through the hall toward the front where the rest his teammates were seated. From the looks of things, Scott was already well on his way to shit-faced. He was draped heavily on Jean as he babbled about something or other to Remy. The Cajun threw him a casual grin and nodded when it seemed appropriate. Logan growled and swaggered up to the bar, slamming his hand down on the wooden top.

"Harry, need ta have a walk with the Lord."

The bartender didn't even bat an eye as he slid a bottle of Lord Calvert in the feral's direction. Logan caught it deftly and unscrewed the top with ease. He swiveled in his stool to watch the table of mutants enjoying themselves. Jean's gaze flickered in his direction and he raised the bottle before taking a long pull of the amber liquid. The burn was lost on his already scarred throat as he gulped the whiskey down. After he was satisified Logan pulled it away and let loose a belch.
Jean rolled her eyes and turned back to Ororo. The weather witch threw a curious look at the team loner but he just gave her an obviously fake smile before downing another enormous shot. She sighed sadly and turned her back to resume her conversation with her friend. Far better to leave things alone when it came to that man.

Logan stormed from the bar with a half empty bottle in his hand. His bike was parked at the far end of the lot and he grumbled as he made his way toward it. He had finally gotten sick of watching the two of them. Jean had gotten a little too much in her system and wound up in Scott's lap; practically dry humping him while she sucked his face off. Logan chuckled and wondered if the taste of his dick was still in her mouth.
He tossed the thick glass bottle in one of his saddle bags and slid on to the leather seat. He kicked viciously at the metal stand and forced life into his beloved machine. There was a painful roar as Logan ruthlessly gunned the engine and peeled out of the parking lot.

Will you walk me to the edge again
shaking, lonely and I am drinking again
woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you

He made it back to the mansion in record time. The engine was cut as he rolled into the garage and carelessly the man propped his bike up against the wall. He retrieved the alcohol from his bag and walked to the door that led to the kitchen with a curious sway in his step. Since everyone was at Harry's and the Professor was God-knows-where doing who-gives-a-flying-fuck, it was an almost sure bet he was going to be alone.
As Logan entered the darkened kitchen, a light from the fridge caught him off-guard. He placed a hand in front of his eyes out of reflex as he squinted at the hulking form occupying most of the open space in front of said appliance. Wild blue hair was highlighted by the small bulb and Logan groaned as the resident doctor turned to see who had invaded his late night raid of goods. His arms were loaded down with various eats; most of which would be abandoned in lew of some great scientific distraction and left to rot leading to a nauseating odor that would infect the med-lab. Until someone noticed and got the guts to brave the stench and confront the good scientist.
Hank smiled politely at his unexpected guest as he shifted the various objects in his arms.

"Logan, well admittedly this is quite the consternation. I was under the impression that the lot of you were at Harry's."

The furry doctor received no answer and only now noticed that Logan was swaying where he stood. The light from outside glistening off the bottle in his hand caught Hank's attention. His face immediately fell as a feeling of wariness raised the fur along the ridge of his spine. It was a well known fact to most of the elder members of the mansion that due to his accelerated healing Logan rarely, if ever, succumbed to alcohol influence. Not unless another factor was introduced to strain his mutant ability to such an extent that it could no longer keep up.

"Logan, is there something amiss?"

The hairy Canadian snarled at him as he visibly staggered toward the table and slumped into a chair. The glass clinked as it bounced off the side of the table when Logan dragged it up to the polished wooden surface. Hank carefully set his loot down on the counter near the fridge before cautiously approaching the other man. He watched as Logan rotated the bottle by the neck thoughtfully a few times. As slowly as he could manage Beast slid into the chair next to the wild man; the meek frame creaking loudly in protest to his considerable size.
The pair sat in silence for some time. This was a side of Logan the doctor had always hated. An angry Wolverine was easy, you listened to him rant and steered clear of his claws. A silent Logan was in many ways more deadly. You never knew if he would stay this way or leap up and run you through when the urge took him. Hank let this go on for some time before his inate curiousity got the better of his tongue.

"Are you drunk?"

Logan replied by grabbing the bottle and swilling a considerable amount before the need for air forced him to stop. He slammed the container back down on the table with excessive force, as if to drive home a point. Hank flinched at the sound which seemed infinitely louder to his sensitive ears.

"It was my belief that enibriation was beyond your physical capacity."

"Well, ya thought wrong. Ain't none o' yer flamin' business anyway Blue. So, why don't ya take yer big furry ass back down ta yer hole and see what other wonder virus ya can create ta possibly kill off a random handful o' life."

Logan puncuated his snipe with another swig of alcohol. Hank swallowed hard and pushed away from the table. He bounded out of the kitchen quickly, his appetite completely discarded. Logan sighed heavily and dropped his head to the table. He had smelled the sorrow coming from the doctor at his harsh remark. Chased the guy off, just like he intended to. He was hitting homers all over the place tonight. With a growl, he snatched up what was left of his drink and stumbled toward the rec room to finish it off, alone.

caught up in life losing all my friends
family has tried to heal all my addictions
tragic, it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you

Henry had made it about halfway down to his lab before pausing. An apprehensive kink had formed in his stomach after leaving Logan in the kitchen and had only progressed until it became unbearable. He rubbed a large hand over his belly and felt a wave of nausea hit. He leaned to the side and pressed his forehead against the cool metal wall until he felt the queasiness pass. Damn his doctor's instincts. They absolutely refused to allow Hank to simply abandon someone who was so obviously in such great need.
With a huff, the large mutant turned and started back up the stairwell to find his wayward friend.

Henry found Logan in the rec room, sprawled unceremoniously on the lone couch occupying space in front of the television. He stood in the doorway for a moment, not sure of what to do next. The decision was taken from him as he heard a rumble from the couch.

"Need somethin'?"

With a sigh he proceeded forward and stopped at Logan's booted feet which stuck out from the arm of the furniture.

"I wanted to know if you were at all well my friend."

The canadian cracked an eye and raised the side of his mouth in a sneer.

"I'm fuckin' perfect Hank. Now, why don't ya stop bein' a doctor fer once and turn around like nothin' happened?"

In a strange fit of bravery, Hank felt himself getting angry. "I will do no such thing. I would like to know how you came to be in your current state. What have you done to yourself Logan?"

Both eyes snapped open and Logan jerked himself upright. "I tol' ya ta fuck off! All that fuckin' hair make ya hard a hearin'? Fer a genius ya sure can't take a fuckin' hint!" Logan spat venomously.

Now this Hank could handle. Logan was angry and therefore, willing to argue. This was an opportunity for Hank to plead his case and with any luck, get Logan to reveal his troubles. He lowered himself down on to the arm of the couch with his body turned toward the other man.

"I'm concerned. It's inadvisable for you to be tampering with your healing factor. You could be causing irrepairable damage."

Logan snatched up his bottle and drained it in one move. "Maybe that's what I'm tryin' fer." He commented casually.

Henry was appalled. He fought his initial impulse to spin off into a reprimanding speech and instead kept his voice calm.

"I doubt you mean that. You're drunk."

There was sudden motion and the sound of glass shattering made Hank jump from his seat. Logan leaned forward with his head in his hands.

"This is probably the only time I'll have balls enough to do it. I'm fuckin'...tired, Hank. I'm tired 'o livin'. I can' take the pain no more, day in 'n day out. I thought I could handle all o' it but I was wrong." Logan pushed to his feet and slowly began to pace. "I'm sick o' people not seein' how much it hur's. Too chicken shit ta jus' ask me wha's wrong. I know I ain't the easiest guy ta 'proach but coul'nt they try?"

Logan's voice had gotten progressively thicker as he talked and he now sounded to be on the verge of tears. His speech was slurred somewhat and it was getting difficult for Henry to understand him. In a rush, he ascended on Logan and grabbed him by the shoulders to stay his motion. The man looked up at him with glazed and watery eyes. Hank felt a tug at his heart as he observed just how truly lost the man looked. He rubbed his thumbs against Logan's broad shoulders in a soothing manner as he spoke.

"I am trying." He whispered.

Henry heard the slight hitch in Logan's breathing as he comprehended what the man had just said. In a move Hank never saw coming, the feral grabbed him by his pelt and pulled him down into a whiskey flavored kiss. Shock reigned in the doctor's mind and he found himself unable to react. For the moment, he just tried to concentrate on remembering to breath.
The sudden noise of an opening door startled the good doctor and he tried to push his friend away. Due to his current state however, Logan was considerably slower on the uptake and wouldn't be moved.

"What the fuck?!"

Hank panicked and shoved Logan away harshly. The other man stumbled back and fell onto the couch with a grunt. He gave Henry a hurtful look but the doctor was too preoccupied to notice. Scott stood at the entrance to the rec room with an outright disgusted look on his face. Jean stood next to him looking ready to spit nails. Remy was behind her, amusement and interest written across his features. Henry licked his lips and silently prayed for a hole to open up and swallow him.

"What be goin' on here hommes? Gambit t'inks maybe he should'a stuck 'round."

"That...is a really good question. Hank, just what the hell is going on?" Jean demanded.

Hank opened his mouth to answer her but was beaten to the punch by Logan.

"Nothin' that should be concernin' any o' ya." He muttered as he struggled to stand again.

Hank squeezed his eyes shut and quietly mouthed his will to have Logan just stop speaking. Jean placed a hand on her hip and tilted her posture.

"What is wrong with you Logan? Are you so hard up that you go around forcing yourself on unsuspecting team members?"

Hank heard a sharp snort from the smaller man. "That wasn't what ya was thinkin' at Harry's."

This snapped Scott out of his stupor. "Wha'?"

"Yea. When I had ya spread out on the wall, bouncin' off my dick. Tellin' me how good it felt and how my cock was so much bigger than Cyke's. I wasn't forcin' nothin' then was I?"

Scott turned to his wife looking slightly more sober. "Wha's he talkin' 'bout Jean?"

Jean narrowed her eyes. "Are you drunk?"

"What is that like,...the daily question 'er some shit?"

Still behind Jean, Remy was slowly turning purple from trying not to laugh. Hank could just make out the form of Ororo standing a good distance away from it all. There was a curiously sickened look on her face. She gracefully floated forward and nudged Remy aside so she could talk to Jean.

"Is that what happened Jean? Is that why you smelled like too much perfume after you came back in?"

Now Scott looked confused. "You notic't too?"

"Wait, when did this become about me?"

"Ah, jus' about de moment we fin' out you been cheatin' on 'ol fearless Jeannie." Remy piped.

"You son of a bitch!" Scott yelled as he ran at Logan.

I've looked forward
to dying tonight
drink's hell on myself
life's harder everyday
the stress has got me
I'm giving in, giving in, giving in now

Hank was roughly pushed out of the way as Scott crashed into Logan. Both men were thrown to the floor with the team leader on top. He began pummeling Logan wildly, spitting insults at the man. Ororo rushed to the two and started pulling at Scott to make him stop. He pushed her away and turned back to Logan. The feral mutant snarled and the sudden sound of ripping flesh echoed through the room. Before anyone could move, Cyclops was pinned on his back by two claws on either side of his throat. Logan hovered over him, his teeth bared and a growl on his lips.

Henry was abruptly pulled from his shock at the sight of Wolverine kneeling on Scott. In one giant swoop, he grabbed Logan by the shoulders and lifted him bodily up against the wall. The other man was livid. He struggled and started shouting at the doctor to put him down before he did something unspeakable to the furry mutant. He was ignored for the moment as Remy stole forward and half dragged Scott away. Ororo had a hold on Jean and was pushing her up the stairs to her and Scott's room with Remy and Scott close on her heels.
Once everyone was gone, Henry released Logan from his hold. The man growled and shoved the much larger X-man.

"What the fuck, Hank?" He demanded indignantly.

The blue scientist let loose a growl of his own and pushed Logan right back against the wall. The canadian put up a fight in an attempt to break the hold but Hank's strength was far superior.

"That is quite enough Logan!" He snarled. "I don't know what has gotten into you but you will stop this...now!"

With that he released the other man and watched him slowly sink to the floor. Logan was shaking violently and his face was eerily ashen. Hank's doctorly tendencies kicked in and he kneeled down next to him.

"Logan? Are you alright?"

"I don't feel so hot Blue." He moaned in a shuddered voice.

Henry felt a surge of adrenaline hit. He looped an arm around Logan's back and gingerly helped him to his feet.

"I believe we should get you to your room."

Logan nodded in agreement as he rested the whole of his weight against Hank's comforting frame. The doctor started to move but stopped short when he felt Logan begin to go limp. Alarm threatened to settle in as Hank grabbed a hold of him with both hands and tried to keep him upright.

"Logan. Logan, I think you need to come down to-"

"No. I ain't g-goin' to no...lab Doc. I'll be fine...jus need...ta get t-this...outta my ...s-s-system."

"Heavens man, you're shaking like a leaf."

Hank looked down and saw a look of pain etched on Logan's face. "I-I c-c-c-an-t s...s-stop. Ha-Hank."

Logan reached out and clung to the doctor's fur as he suddenly began to retch. Hank held him still while he dry heaved a few times.

"That is it. You are going down to the lab, I dont care how much you protest."

There was no arguement from the other man, just a silent if weak nod. Henry adjusted his friends position on his shoulders and moved as quickly as he dared toward the lower levels.
===================================
"What did you take?"

Hank struggled to keep Logan still while he examined the man. The canadian mutant was flopping all over the exam table, groaning and clutching at his stomach. He would make an occasional whimper and look pleadingly up at the doctor.

"Logan, I want you to listen to me. I need to know what you took to weaken your healing factor."

Henry kept his voice low and soothing despite the fact that his heart was hammering a crazed beat in his chest. Logan made the closest thing to a whine Hank had ever heard him utter. It would have been amusing had the situation not been so grim.

"Logan."

"Bleach....itwas...bleach! Aaaar!! KILL ME!"

Sweat was drenching the feral as he writhed helplessly against the pain. On impulse, Henry wrapped his arms around the man and held him in a bear hug. Logan continued to twitch and moan in agony. He buried his face in Beast's thick pelt as the man rocked gently and stroked his back. The constant spasms slowly weakened to a periodic shudder as Henry continued to hold him close. He still felt like puking but it was a lot more tolerable now. The pain was dulled and only hit as a sporadic shock.
Logan sighed and nuzzled further into the oddly intoxicating softness of Hank's mane. As his senses sluggishly returned to him, he found himself surrounded by the lull of the Beast's scent. Instantly, his eyes grew heavy and he began to settle into the man's embrace. The doctor allowed the hug to continue until he was certain Logan was relaxed. Softly, he pulled away and held the man at arm's length.

Hank did a quick check of his pulse and pupils before determining the poison was being worked out of his system. Logan let loose a huge yawn and rubbed at his eyes.

"'M fuckin'...tired."

"Yes, well...that is understandable." Hank muttered as he removed his spectacles and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "All the contaminates caused quite a shock to your system. I will of course be performing a follow up exam and I promise you my friend; this happens again...I will be far less than understanding."

Henry leaned in close to make sure Logan got his point. His teammate rolled his eyes up and the doctor felt a thrill as he became caught up in the most turbulent gray eyes he had ever known. Seldom was Hank ever privy to such naked emotion coming from the man before him. The air left his lungs slowly and he started edging his way backwards.

"Do...do you need assistance...getting to your room?" He asked almost nervously.

A look fell over Logan's face before he slid off the exam table and advanced on the flustered scientist. Henry stumbled into a rack of appliances as Logan's lips captured his for the second time that night. A wicked tongue forced its way inside his mouth and Hank voice squeaked in surprise. Without thought, his claws began to elongate and dig into the solid muscle of Logan's arms.
A throaty growl danced across the bridge between their mouths and quickly invaded Hank's body. The lustful sound seemed to electrify every nerve ending the furry mutant posessed. His body shuddered hard and he found himself answering the sound with one of his own. Hank pulled his head to the side in a last ditch effort to regain control. Logan promptly began to chase him as he whipped his head back and forth, trying to reason with the other man.

"Logan, stop. You're not....thinking...clearly."

A smirk played across the Canadian's face and he reached down to palm Hank's half-erect member. The doctor had had enough. With all of his tremendous strength, he gave Logan a ruthless shove and sent him stumbling backwards. The man's balance was still shakey and he soon lost his footing which resulted in him landing on his ass. He threw Hank a half-hearted glare as he rose back to his feet. The doctor's reply was to bare his fangs and give a threatening growl.

"Get...out..."

A faint look of panic crossed Logan's features when he heard the seething tone Henry had put behind his words.

"What? Why?"

Hank's eyes flashed dangerously as he adjusted his glasses which had been knocked askew during the ardorous assault.

"I refuse to let you twist my inate caring instincts into a simple rebound for your spurned emotions. I am not a replacement. Now, leave."

The doctor lumbered over to his tiny office in the corner of the lab, effectively ending the conversation. Quickly schooling his features back into their obligatory hard mask, Logan turned and made his way to the entrance. As the automatic doors opened, he raised his voice just loud enough to carry through the room.

"What made ya think yer the replacement?"

The muted whoosh of air from the closing doors was the last sound that was made in the lab that night.

take me under
(I'm giving up on me)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all this pain)
Watch me crumble
(I'm giving up on me)
I'm crying tonight
(I'm giving in to you)