Animal inside, demon outside

DISCLAIMER: Only the story belongs to me, settings and characters belong to their creators.


There were parts of Kurt that Logan knew that he was never going to see, tucked down deep inside where nothing could touch them. He had his own spots as well. Things he’d rather keep hidden. The dazzling glitter of Kurt’s circus patter and cheerful act kept most people from thinking that there might be something wrong, but it was just light glancing off broken mirrors. Shiny, bright and beautiful, but there was something wrong there. It was just too distracting to look very deeply. Besides, most of the people at the school had no idea that there really was any depth to Kurt Wagner, other then the fact of his religious faith in a place where most of them were atheists.

It was some of those broken and ill-fitting parts, he knew, that made Kurt clutch at him occasionally, thick nails suddenly turning into claws as he hissed and spat in German, golden eyes burning demonic. His own broken parts made him snarl back, bare his teeth and bite. When that happened, it wasn’t loving, it was rutting. Bare and bloody and hand to hand, turning sex into just as much of a battle as anything they did out on a mission.

It was a wonder that they were together at all. Wasn’t even sure how it happened, kept on happening and showed no sign of stopping. Crazy. Not as crazy as some of the things that kept on happening, the kids that kept showing up. Mutation, it was a weird and wonderful thing, though most of the time he kept the wonderful out of his thinking on it. There was nothing wonderful about some of the mutations that Mother Nature kept spitting up in a game of DNA roulette, or what happened because of them.

He didn’t know what Kurt had been like before Stryker had caught up with him, though there’d be little things he’d let slip from time to time. The Amazing Nightcrawler. A circus. Somewhere that a freak could hide, maybe even be accepted. Maybe. Had his own doubts about that. Considering that some of the kids had had a hard time accepting him, and they were all mutants here. But Kurt was so obviously other, something fey and strange with his blue skin and tail, scars adding just another level of oddity.

A layer of breaking. Something that made Kurt wake up crying, whimper in his sleep and curl in tighter like he was about to get hit and was trying to shield his insides from kicks. While he, on the other hand, woke up out of nightmares and stuck his claws through girls in nightgowns. Because he was so lost in the dream that he couldn’t see reality. Apparently, one of the mutants that Stryker had had a collar on had been someone who could do that to you. No one liked to talk about Alkali Lake. What had happened. More things and people broken, sharp-edged hurt in the eyes of that little punk’s friends. People who had thought he trusted them, and had trusted him back. Resolutely, Logan turned his thoughts from that and just what he’d like to do to that smart mouthed little fucker, of the woman they’d left behind in the waters as they came crashing down, and breathed out slowly. Breathed in, took in the scent of the room.

Clean sheets. Fake lemon scent of whatever the cleaners used on the wood everywhere around here. Jesus, he’d like to know what Wheels was paying them to stay around. Hazard pay. Something like that. Faint brimstone smell, lingering over everything. Sharp, bright smell of Kurt himself, his own deeper musky animal scent. Some part of him was pleased about that, that this place smelt like them. Den, it whispered. Somewhere safe and dark to curl up, wait out the bright light of day and then slip into the night and hunt. Blood red wet on fangs and howling to the moon because that was the way it worked, in that part of him.

Knew he’d done it as well. Remembered, glimpses of running over snow in bare feet. Sometimes, he remembered more, but usually it was just snow and cold and white and blood, thick wet and raw on the air and on his tongue. Deer. At least, he thought it was deer. He didn’t dig too deeply in case it wasn’t. Some things, he didn’t want to know about himself, as much as he wanted his past back. His memories. Himself.

Ran his fingers down Kurt’s side to stop himself thinking about it, tracing lines of scars that looped and danced across indigo skin. One day, he’d have to find out what they meant. Knew they were sins. Just what sort of kid scarred himself with all the sins of the world? Rough against his fingertips, just a little raised. Like a map of something arcane, and he bent his head, pink tongue stroking along a long line like he could taste the darkness of the sin it represented. When something cost nothing, was it actually worth having? He was waiting for the cost of what they were doing to catch up to him. There had to be a catch, something that would leave him empty handed. That was the way this worked, wasn’t it?

Sleepy murmur of something in German, rough and dark as Kurt stirred, body undulating in that weird serpentine twist. Like he’d been born without bones, or they were made of something that was totally unlike his. Adamantium didn’t bend. Didn’t break. If and when he was dead and gone, the shape of his bones encased in the adamantium would remain. Damn. Even when he was dead, they’d still have written on him the fact that they had affected him. Used and abused him. Ruthlessly, he shoved that thought away again. Didn’t matter how they tried to break him, they couldn’t manage it. Wouldn’t. Licked along the flowing curve of another scar, one hand pushing down on Kurt’s hip to hold him still and just there.

“Logan, was?”

“Shut up,” Logan muttered distractedly against the indigo of his lover’s skin. Felt him inhale, hold it for a second then breathe out slowly. And didn’t talk. He knew that yellow eyes, golden and glowing, were watching him now with something of a mixture of curiosity, apprehension and lust. Could smell it too. Nobody seemed to get just how much they told him without saying a word, just by the way they smelt. And even when he tried to explain it, they still didn’t get it, so he’d stopped trying.

Restrained the urge to bite down, taste blood and rip. Some bits of him were broken, but they didn’t have to control what he did. They didn’t. He was a man, not an animal. Even if that was what they had wanted him to be. He was going to fight it, both the training that had ripped parts of humanity out of him and the fact of his mutant talents, just out of pure stubbornness. He could have this; something that approached normal. Felt Kurt shudder as the grip of his fingers tightened, digging into the soft warm flesh. Let go and smoothed the palm of his hand over the spot where he’d left a bruise almost apologetically, inhaling the warm scent of Kurt’s body. Musk and brimstone. After a while, the acrid scent had come to not bother him that much.

Just a part of the whole this is Kurt picture.

Could almost feel the questions burning in Kurt’s mouth as he explored the shape of the other man’s scars with his tongue. None on his back. Guess he couldn’t see to make them. Mouthed at the side of his neck for a long moment, feeling Kurt’s knees open wider, letting him settle more easily on top of his body. Had to be careful not to let too much of his weight rest on the elf. Adamantium was heavy.

The clink as Deathstryke’s body hit the bottom of the tank echoed through his memory. She hadn’t really deserved to die, but when it came to a choice between him and her, he’d picked him. The worst thing had been seeing the realization that she was dying, the return to consciousness right before she fell into the tank. Regret could burn just as badly as hate.

The heavy scent of pheromones rose, tapping parts of his back brain on their way down to his cock and making him snarl a little, low dangerous growl rumbling through his chest. Maybe Kurt looked like a monster on the outside, but there were things so much darker lurking inside his head. Kissed him savagely, feeling fangs grate against fangs, three fingered hand cupping the back of his head and tangling in his wild hair. Animals didn’t kiss. They just fucked. People kissed, no matter how bloody and broken at the edges the kiss was. It was another way to tell himself that he was that, people. It seemed sometimes that he could lose that, like he had before. He didn’t want to do that. Tasted copper in his mouth, swallowed the squirming moan from Kurt’s mouth into his. Logan drew back for a moment, breathing heavily

“Where’s the-“

“Here, mein lieber.” Handy thing, that tail. Logan took the tube of lubricant from the ever helpful spade and opened it, squeezing some out onto his fingers. Listened to the shuddering sigh as he slid one finger into the inviting opening beneath blue balls, nipping at one pointed ear. Back arched into something that would have caused anyone other then Kurt extreme amounts of pain. Beautiful, just like that. But he’d never say anything like that out loud. It just wouldn’t feel right. Slick, stretch, two fingers now and it wasn’t anywhere near enough. “Fuck me, Schatz, ich muss dich fühlen, muss dich in mir haben...”

“God, fuck yes...” growled against his lover’s skin, tasting salty sweat and something tanged with brimstone as he pushed in. Hot, and yes, so fucking tight. Strange hands gripping at his back, two fingers and thumb pressing into the muscle on either side of his spine as he thrust in deep, hearing the gasping guttural moaning words in German that made no real sense but he felt like he should know. Dragging bite at his neck, fangs glancing along his skin and the feral mutant groaned deeply. “Jesus, Kurt!”

“Harder, ja, fuck me, Logan.”

Another bite, scrape of nails across his back and Logan howled, seeing a flash of fangs from the elf’s mouth. Snarled, heard Kurt laugh, saw red in front of his eyes and bit down himself, tasted blood and fucked him harder. Disintegrating inside his head, feeling jagged splinters chasing across his mind. The head board slammed into the wall, cracked straight across and he heard Kurt wail, voice echoing upwards in pleasure. Harder he’d wanted, asked for, and that’s what he’d get.

“Yeah, yeah-uh, you want it like this, fuck, yes, God...” Mauled his mouth again, tongue darting and sliding across the inside of his mouth, fucking it with the thrusts of his tongue just as thoroughly as he was fucking his ass. Tasted good, smelled good, felt so good underneath him. Dark laughter mixed with moans, flexible body moving under him and around him, glow of golden eyes in the dark and white fangs flashing in a gasp for breath. Hot, hot heat radiating off the dark blue skin, felt the rasp of the scars rubbing across his body, raised lines of sin and evil. Like anyone could see evil that easily. Written down on living canvas, pronouncing doom and he could almost feel Kurt bent double underneath him, tail wrapped around one of his ankles. Tightening and loosening in time with his thrusts, both of them riding the edge of what was true pain and what was just an edge to sex. Nails digging into his back, wounds healing over just as quick as they were made but he could still feel the blood sliding down his back. Smell it on the air.

“Ja, uh, Gott, Gott, Gott!” Harsh barking sound of German, it sounded dirty whatever it was he was saying. Nearly always did, even when he was praying. “Logan!” Clenched one hand on the bedsheets as he heard footsteps coming up the corridor, and the blades concealed in his flesh shot out, heard Kurt gasp. Sudden fear stink, still mixed with the sounds and scent of fuck me, and Logan snarled, felt the beast rise and pushed it down, let the claws slide back into his fist and kissed Kurt hard to try and reassure him. Thunder of his heartbeat racing through the Canadian’s ears.

Arch and bend of the acrobat’s back, impossible flex as he stopped touching the bed except for the back of his head and the pads of his feet, arms holding onto him tight as Kurt yelped something he didn’t understand and came all over his stomach, all over them both. White startling against the darkness of his skin, like stars chasing across the winter sky in the mountains just before a blizzard blew in. Sharp hot smell of his lover’s completion hitting his nose as he took a breath, feeling sweat running down from his scalp and his forehead as his hips continued to move, like he could fuck his way inside the limp body underneath him. So close, red hot inside his head and running down his spine, from down low in his stomach and inside his balls, so close he could taste it. Just like the blood that slicked his mouth as he ravaged the bite on Kurt’s shoulder, lost in the rising lust of two different kinds, sex and blood rising in dizzying scent around him. Pain scent, and the beast inside rattled its chains and roared, lashing out to try and break his self control as Logan threw back his head and came, silent at the end as the red filled up his mind. Came so hard he could feel himself almost blacking out, but managed to roll off Kurt before he did so he didn’t crush him.

Lay there and panted for a while, listening to Kurt breathe heavy next to him. Snorted in amusement as someone banged on the door, Scott by the smell of it. What, had they been too loud or something? Thinking back, Logan was pretty sure that had been the reason.

“That’s it, Logan! We’re getting soundproofing for your room.”

Yep, it was Slim alright.

Kurt was mortified at the reminder that they weren’t alone or anything close to it in the house, he could smell it, even if the way he was curling in on himself wasn’t an indicator. He rubbed one large, square hand over the curve of the elf’s back as he sat up. It had been great, no, mind blowing sex. Scott should be hurt for suddenly making it into this shameful thing.

“That’s what I told you to do about a month ago, Boy Scout! Now, fuck off!” he snarled back, glaring at the wood of the door that blocked Scott from view. He could hear the man’s heartbeat, smell him through it and that gave him a pretty good picture of his mood. Heard him sigh, almost saw him shake his head, and Logan bared his teeth, muscles bunching up. Felt Kurt’s arms suddenly wrap around him, silent support and reminder to behave, at least a little. Scott hesitated for a moment more, and Logan grinned, waiting for him to open the door or something, before his footsteps went away. Slowly.

“You shouldn’t –“

“Scotty’s a big boy, he can fight his own battles.” Logan turned in the circle of Kurt’s body to kiss him, and wondered where the sudden show of concern for Summers had come from. Decided it didn’t matter as a rough tongue traced over the shape of his back teeth. Summers could look after himself, and find a way to fix the broken pieces inside him. Logan had found some of what he was looking for already, right here.