Tough Choice

The icy blast from the refrigerator did little to cool the heat racing through Logan’s blood as he pulled out a beer and popped the top to raise it to his lips, hoping the sweet taste would help alleviate the desire running through his body.

Like some unchained beat the desire to possess raced through him, awakening his instincts, making his body throb and his heightened senses even more attuned to those around him. Shuddering at the thought of the young woman who slept mere doors from his room he closed the fridge none too gently, ignoring the way it rocked back at the force of his movement.

Stalking from the kitchen and down the hall to the rec room he paused as he eyed the pool table images of pale flushed skin, and gasps of ecstasy filling his mind; shaking his head he continued on down the hall, jumping down the few steps that stood between him and the gym. As restless and edgy as he felt he knew that punching holes in the punching bag and lifting weights would do little to ease him but it would help to exhaust his body and thus allow him a few hours of sleep.

Rolling his shoulders he stripped off his sweatshirt, tossing it onto the nearby weight bench before facing the nearby dangling focus of his aggression and taking a swing. Normally he would feel some pleasure at the way it swung wide, but not tonight. Tonight all he felt was the restless, thrumming of the desire and need he had for a certain young lady. Just thinking of her was enough to feel his body harden painfully, his sweats feeling too restrictive as he pictured her as he’d seen her earlier.

The shower door offered little obstruction as Logan stepped into his bathroom and froze at the sound of running water. He’d heard it but had been so distracted that he’d never paid attention, no he wished he had.

Standing innocently under the spray of hot water, her body enveloped by the rising steam was the object of his every desire, his every dream and he felt his heart kick into high gear even as his body tensed, hardening in response to what he was seeing.

Watching the water sluicing down her pale, full breasts to drip from the crested peaks had his mouth going dry and he’d forced himself to move, backing out of the room and losing the door soundlessly before heading for the garden for a good long run only to be halted by a conversation he knew he wasn’t part of.

“She may never be able to control it.” The words were soft, accepting in their simplicity. “It may control her for the rest of her life.”

“But she’s doing so well.” Jean Grey’s voice had him cringing as he realized who they were speaking of. “She’s developed several friendships with the student her age, is progressing rather quickly with her tests. I just don’t understand why she hasn’t been able to control her powers.”

“Her mutation is stronger than many who are here, it may be that in itself is the problem. Perhaps her very power is a curse rather than a blessing.”

“Professor surely you don’t think mutations are curses?” Amazement and confusion was in Jean’s voice.

“What I think is she’s young and showing no signs of conquering her power. We’ll have to wait and see where things go from here.”

Slipping away from the conversation hurriedly, silently he ran until he reached the lake then he hurried around it, his steps filled with a deep panic at the thought that he would never be able to show her how he felt.

Words weren’t his strong suit, hell anyone who knew him would agree. He was hardened by life, and it showed in everything he did. Even after five years here at the school, he wasn’t the most pleasant of guys, even the professor often tried to help him control his temper, fearing it would hurt the students and Logan hadn’t bothered to correct him.

What was the point there was too much stacked against him, against them for him to really care one way or the other what others thought his only concern being that he hoped that neither the Professor nor Jean ever tried getting into his head when he was around her. They’d send him packing in a heart beat he was certain of it and nothing anyone said would make a difference, he had no business being in love with her.

Feeling the anger well from deep within himself he took another swing, welcoming his darker emotions as they pushed back his thoughts, dragging him back into that wild side of his soul, where there was no right or wrong just bare, naked, lust.

“You seem upset.” The soft, sweetly accented words had him whirling around to stare at the intruder, the scent achingly familiar, the picture enough to taunt him painfully. Recognizing who it was Logan swallowed hard, the anger fading to be replaced by banked lust and the self depreciating need to curse the consequences and claim the young woman before him, to mark her as his forever.

“Whatcha doin’ up kid?” He growled trying to hide his need, his longing.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Came the soft response, “Heard you get up figured maybe we could talk.”

With the innocence of her youth she stepped out of the shadows into the light and he felt his heart shatter with her smile. She had no idea that standing there before him only made him love her more, and knowing he shouldn’t, couldn’t only made watching her harder.

“Sure kid.” With a stiff shrug he picked up a nearby towel with a jerk and headed for the weight bench at the other side of the room. “So what’s on your mind?”

“Are you mad at me Logan? Have I done something..?” She started in a whisper as she moved across the hard wood. It was cold, unyielding on her bare feet as she moved toward him. Noting the longing in his eyes, and the sadness that seemed to cling to him. Her heart broke as she watched him, saw the lust, the need and the resolve that came over him and knew that he was going to run again unless she did something. Unless he made him stay, he was going to leave her alone again, and this time he might not come home.

“No.” The vehement denial was strong, fierce, his hands tightening painfully on the towel, his desire to erase any thought of blame from her mind over riding his need to keep her at a distance. “No kid you haven’t done anything and I ain’t mad at you.”

“Then what’s wrong?” She whispered, soft as a spring breeze, and as potent as a hurricane the rustle of cotton against bare skin sent Logan’s mind racing with images of her losing that simple white cotton nighty, his heart pounding as she moved slowly toward him.

Shaking his head Logan tried for a smile, “I just been a bit restless.” He lied. Restless wasn’t the word, horny, filled with lust, his dreams taken over by a nymph, insane. They all fit what he was but she didn’t need to know that.

Calling himself ten times the fool he swallowed, he was too old to be in love with her, too many miles separated them and there was no way to erase that.
With a patient nod she moved closer, circling him one hand trailing over equipment, the other clutching her nighty as her heart beat slowed, pounded heavily and a calm acceptance came over her. She could feel the fire building in her blood, her body clamoring for his touch and she hid a smile as he sat there so tensely like a deer caught in the headlights.

It felt good being able to touch him now, it was her secret the one thing she’d learned the past few days as she’d snuck into his room and watched him sleeping listened to him muttering in his sleep. She always retreated to her bed before the sun came up and he rose, always but tonight was different. Tonight was hers and she planned on taking advantage of it, and her newly discovered control.

“When are you leaving?” She whispered as she inched closer to him, no point to scaring himoff, not when he belonged to her.

“Tomorrow.” Logan whispered turning his head to stare at her, the faint tang of desire reaching his nose. “Early.”

“Please don’t.” She whispered as she moved to stand between his parted legs. “Please Logan, stay.”

“I can’t.” He replied shifting, gathering his muscles before he started to rise. “Even if I wanted to.”

“Why not?” The whisper was soft, filled with longing even as she leaned a little closer to him, her hands resting on the weight bar behind his head.

Glancing up from where his eyes had latched onto the shadow of her cleavage he stared at her for a moment before putting his hands on her stomach and pushing slightly, moving her back until he had room to stand up. “Got something t’do.” he muttered and stepped around her.

“Logan please, you promised me.” The soft plea froze him in his tracks. She was right, he had promised, he’d promised never to leave her behind again, to be there for her no matter what and he knew deep down he was about to break that promise.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Without a backward glance he started for the door only to come to a halt when she stepped in front of him, her chest heaving beneath the cotton. “Look kid..”

“No.” She pleaded staring at him. “You promised. Where you go, I go. You gave me your word and you don’t go back on it.”

“Please.” Closing his eyes he hung his head, the weight of everything crashing down on him a moment before he stiffened jerking away from her as he felt her hand trace through his hair. “What?” The word was barely out of his mouth before she placed a hand on his mouth and shushed him.

“You gave me your word.” She pleaded staring at him as tears threatened.
Standing frozen with shock he felt the jolt of hr touch racing through him but it had nothing to do with her power, instead it was the warm, weight of her hand upon him that had his blood racing, his heart pounding heavily, and his body tightening with desire. “How?” The word was croaked, stunned disbelief in his tone.

“I learned how to control it.” She whispered. “Please Logan tell me why you’re leaving.”

“You know why.” He refused to give an inch he didn’t want her to know how he felt, an old leech like him had no business wanting her.

Staring at him she gasped as realization dawned on her then a slow, sweet smile crossed her face and she moved closer to him. “Then you know why I can’t let you.” She whispered softly, leaning against him.

“Don’t.” The guttural word held banked desire and longing as well as anger.

She was making this difficult and he closed his eyes at the pain in his chest. Pushing past her he took a couple of steps only to freeze at the slight but unmistakable sound of her nightie slithering to the floor. “God what are you trying to do kill me?” He ground out standing firmly facing the door, his feet rooted as though Magneto was in the room instead of a sweet auburn haired girl who could stop his heart with a smile.

“No.” The word was soft, yearning. “I’m doing whatever I have to t’ keep ya from walking out that door. What’s the matter ya can’t stand and fight for what ya want?” She taunted him, moving closer to him, making him groan and whirl furiously to stare at her.

“We both know..”

“What?” She whispered stopping a few inches in front of him, close enough that she could see the gleam of perspiration on his chest, hear the steady beat of his heart as it thundered in his chest, smell the faint, coppery sweet aroma of the beer he’d guzzled earlier. “That I’m younger than ya?”

“I’m not having this conversation.” Logan groaned uneasily as he backed up a step at least she wasn’t telekinetic, and he could escape and he would, just as soon as he made sure she was fully clothed. Moving smoothly past her he slid hid toes under edge of the body-warmed nightie lifted it and caught it with a quick motion that seemed effortless. Handing it to her he smiled sadly, his eyes reflecting the torment he felt. “Yer gonna catch cold runnin’ round like that.” He whispered.

Shaking her head she glanced at the nightie for a second before stepping back from him, she’d lost, he’d given in without even firing a shot without even trying to fight for them. Staring at him she watched the expression in his gaze as he held her eyes a few seconds before he all but ran from her, heading back to his room.