Prisoner #0001

Title: Prisoner #0001

Author: Henrika (henrika_amanda@yahoo.se)

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Erik/Charles (consensual), Erik/Laurio (rape)

Summary: Erik’s time in prison after the Liberty Island attempt turns out to be an unparalleled nightmare… Set after X1.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, and I’m not making any money from this story.

Archive: My personal website http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/Index Everybody else, please ask first.

Feedback: Yes, please, and I welcome constructive criticism, but I won’t tolerate any flames concerning the subject matter. Read the warnings and heed them.

A/N: This is an extremely dark story that contains disturbing matters such as rape, abuse, violence, torture, suicidal thoughts, and tons of angst. If you can’t handle it, stop reading now.


Prologue

Erik Lehnsherr knew that his time in the plastic prison after the Liberty Island attempt would not be pleasant, but he had no idea that it would become one continuous nightmare with no chances to escape. In retrospect, he probably would not have let them take him alive if he had known.

Charles was there for him now, every second that he was needed, and really tried to help him process the mental and emotional trauma he had suffered at the hands of cruel and unthinking people who had done their best to break him and succeeded pretty well. Sweet, kind, and loving Charles! Erik could not help but wonder now what and where he’d be without his old friend. Many a time he thought he did not rightfully deserve the telepath’s love and compassion, but he also knew that whatever happened, Charles would always be there when Erik needed him. Call it fate or something else. Love? The word made the mutant known to the world as Magneto smile. If such a thing existed, it was the word to describe what was between him and Xavier.

Today it rained. Erik was sitting by the window in the room he shared with Charles, looking out through it. His right hand rested on the windowsill. Erik regarded it silently. Once his hands had been sinewy and strong, capable of much. Erik knew that his hands had played a large part in Charles’ initial attraction to him. Strong yet slender, with long, expressive fingers. Charles had loved being touched by those hands, and therefore Erik had touched him as often and intimately as possible. And he had been so proud to be Charles’ friend, and later his lover, despite the fact that they had rarely shown their love openly in those days.

His right hand would never again become strong, though. Not after Laurio broke his wrist. It still hurt when he made certain movements, even though it happened more than two years ago. The wrist and some scar tissue in his rectum were the only physical proofs left of the horrors he’d gone through as a prisoner. He had regained some of the weight he had lost and no longer looked like a man dying of AIDS, cancer, or whatever. The mental scars were much more difficult to heal. Outwardly he was still Magneto; inwardly he was the frightened and broken little child rescued from Auschwitz after the Second World War. One thing was certain, though – the mutant terrorist Magneto was gone forever.

Erik flinched slightly when the door opened but quickly relaxed when he heard the peaceful humming of Charles’ electric wheelchair. He couldn’t help it. The prison had caused him to become wary of every sound. Charles knew this, of course, and tried to avoid frightening him by moving soundlessly.

“Erik? How are you feeling?” Charles wheeled closer to the other man, and when close enough, he placed his hand atop Erik’s, which lay flat on the armrest of his chair.

Erik turned his head and gave his friend a faint smile. “I’m coping, Charles,” he replied. “I’m just tired.”

Charles sighed, knowing very well that Erik was not “just tired”. His friend had good days, “okay” days, and also really bad days, and this definitely seemed like a case of the last-mentioned. When Erik had a “bad day”, he used to behave exactly as he did now; not leaving their room and just sitting by the window, staring out through it. What Charles really feared was that Erik might one day find life unbearable at a really black moment. That Charles might find him hanging from the ceiling with a noose around his neck. He had never told Erik about his fears, but they were constantly there.

“Would you like to have supper with me and…-”

Erik shook his head already before Charles could finish the sentence. No, he could not stand it at the moment. Xavier’s students and the X-men had all been very good to him, but he did not want to see any of them now. Only Charles.

“Alright, then,” Charles agreed softly, moving his hand to cup Erik’s cheek. “I will have some food brought up here instead. How about that, my love?” His thumb brushed away a single tear drop that trickled down from his friend’s eye. Erik gave him a grateful smile.

“Much better…” Erik admitted.


Prisoner #0001

It already began the day he was taken to the prison. Erik knew very little of the time that went between the Liberty Island incident and his arrival at the plastic prison, because he had been drugged with heavy doses of sedatives. It all seemed like a long, incoherent dream. He understood their actions, though. He was considered very dangerous, and these people would do anything to prevent an escape.

He knew that his stay here would be hellish, but at least this “prison” was constructed for him alone, and he wouldn’t have to defend himself against other inmates. Mystique would get him out of here in due time. That was all he could think of. He would not have to die here. He just had to wait for the right moment.

Still a little groggy from the drugs, Erik was taken to a small, sterile room with two doors. There was no furniture. He began to wonder whether this was the final stop when the two guards who had escorted him in here turned around and left the same way they had come. The other door, opposite this one, opened and another man entered.

His presence immediately made Erik’s skin crawl. He was big; not very tall, but broad-shouldered and muscular with a distinct layer of fat covering his bulk. His brownish hair was cropped short, like his beard, and when Erik met his gaze, he could see that the man had small, malevolent pig’s eyes that regarded him with scorn and hatred. There was no way to know if this man hated all mutants or just him, though. In either case, this could only mean bad news.

The man – also a prison guard, judging from his uniform – approached the apprehensive Erik in a very confident way. He was obviously sure that in this place Erik did not have access to his mutant powers.

“My name is Laurio, and my job is to body search you before you’re let into your cell,” he said coldly, his evil eyes gleaming wickedly, as if he was secretly scorning Erik. “Take off your clothes.”

When Erik didn’t react immediately, the man now known as Laurio took a step forward and poked Erik hard in the belly with his plastic truncheon. “Now, you fucking faggot mutant!” he hissed.

Erik took an involuntary step back and rubbed the place where the truncheon had hit him. It hurt. His fears were justified. This man would not be afraid to hurt him, it seemed. Probably he even looked for excuses to do it. Erik started undressing. He wore a short-sleeved, white shirt, pants in the same colour, and underpants. Typical prisoner’s clothes. He slowly pulled the shirt over his head and let it fall into a heap on the floor. His pants followed, and Erik briefly hesitated before removing his briefs as well. Laurio’s cruel gaze told him that keeping them on was no option, though.

He felt very exposed when standing naked before this man. The place where Laurio had hit him was already turning red. In time it would most certainly develop into a bruise. He rubbed it absently with one hand while waiting for further instructions.

In the meantime, Laurio had put on white, plastic gloves. Erik dreaded what was to come.

The man grabbed his jaw. “Open your mouth,” he ordered. When Erik obeyed, two latex-clad, rough fingers were instantly jammed into his mouth, probing and searching for things that were not there. Did they really believe him to be so stupid that he would attempt to smuggle metallic or other forbidden items hidden inside his body? The fingers were shoved deep down his throat, and he fought to suppress his gag reflex that threatened to make him vomit. He couldn’t breathe, and the when the need for air finally became too great, he had no choice but to bit down on the offensive digits in his mouth.

Laurio’s reaction was immediate and violent. He jerked his fingers out and hit Erik in the head with his fist, knocking the slender older man to the floor. The area of the blow pulsated with sharp pain, but Erik barely noticed it as he was busy inhaling the air he’d been denied far too long.

“So, you like to bite me, you fucking mutant-scum!”

“You were choking me…” Erik whispered in reply, now afraid even to turn up his eyes to look at the guard. He had curled into a ball to protect his body from further blows when Laurio grabbed his hair and jerked him up onto his knees. Erik screamed and struggled to break free, but to no avail. This man was physically much stronger than he.

“This search is not finished yet,” Laurio sneered. “Bend over.”

Erik could do nothing but comply when he was roughly shoved forward by the relentless hand tangled in his hair. Then Laurio was behind him, and Erik could feel his buttocks being pried apart. He clenched his teeth and tried to fight down the urge to crawl away. He did not do it only because he knew that such an action would be a reason for this sadistic man to deliver further blows. He could, however, not suppress the hoarse cry that escaped his throat when the same rough fingers were pressed into his rectum. Laurio paid no heed to his need to adjust. Erik expected this to be over quickly once it was made clear that he did not hide anything inside his anal passage, but he was wrong. The guard did not remove his fingers but shoved them deeper and scissored them to make the ordeal even more painful to Erik.

“Do you like this, you faggot?” Laurio asked scornfully while digging his fingers into Erik’s unwilling channel. “Oh, I can see you do… Your kind does, isn’t that right?”

Erik didn’t know if “your kind” referred to mutants or homosexuals, but either way it didn’t matter. This was awful. This sick man couldn’t seriously believe that this turned him on, could he? His penis was as limp as it could possibly get, and his ball-sac was shrivelled, partly from fear, partly from cold.

A few torturous seconds later Laurio finally removed his digits, and Erik silently exhaled in relief. His backside hurt, and it would be sore for a few more days, but still he couldn’t help thinking that it could have been worse. This man could have…

Laurio rose to his feet and pushed Erik to the ground. “Get dressed,” he ordered curtly, and Erik wasn’t slow to comply. Presumably this meant that his ordeal was over now. When he was finished pulling on his clothes, Laurio grinned at him, and his pig’s eyes gleamed again.

“Congratulations, faggot. You passed the examination,” he said. “But this isn’t over.”

Erik flinched away when Laurio approached him and grabbed his arm to escort him out of the room. Now he was obviously being taken to the “real” prison. Things had not started out well, but it could have been worse. He tried to consider that when the ominous four words “but this isn’t over” invaded his thoughts.

*~*~*~*

Two weeks passed before Laurio paid his next visit to Erik. Magneto had pretty much gotten used to his situation, even though he didn’t like it one bit. He was practically living in a box and was the constant subject of scrutiny. Whether he ate, slept, took a dump, or brushed his teeth, he was watched. There was no privacy whatsoever. So far he had been left alone, though, and the guards who came to bring him his food, change his towels, and things like that paid little or no attention to him. That was fine with Erik. He had been alone before and could handle his loneliness now. His own thoughts were much better company than any of the people here.

Then one day Laurio was standing inside his cell, the slide door to the plastic tunnel leading out still open. Erik’s heart rate immediately increased and anxiety awoke within him. His food was brought to him about an hour ago, and Erik pretty soon noticed that Laurio was carrying nothing in his hands. Then why was he here?

“Hello there, mutant-scum. How’s your day?” he asked with a false tone of friendliness in his voice.

“Fine – until now, at least,” Erik replied, hoping that the man would get the sarcasm and leave him alone. Somehow he doubted it, though. Laurio was here for a reason.

The hulking guard advanced toward Erik, who was sitting down on a chair by his plastic table. Erik glanced up at him warily. “What do you want, Laurio?” he asked.

Laurio smiled, and his smile was predatory. The wicked glint was back in his eyes. “Take off your clothes,” he said.

Erik first couldn’t believe that he had actually heard that. “What?! Excuse me?” he exclaimed.

“You heard me, faggot. Take your clothes off! Now!” All of the false friendliness instantly disappeared from his voice, leaving only a cruel, commanding tone. Erik just stared at him incredulously for a moment, but not until Laurio raised his fist to strike him did he realize that this was serious. Having no time to parry the blow, Erik was struck across the face, and the force of it made him fall from his chair and lose his breath when he hit the floor. The guard was over him in a second, pinning him to the ground with his weight and locking his hand around his throat.

Erik had never been a physical fighter and knew little of how to defend himself in a close combat. His head was spinning. This just wasn’t happening! How dare Laurio? There were people watching them! They had to come and help him!

“Help…!” Erik cried desperately. “Help me, somebody!” //They have to see this! They have to stop him! They must help me…!//

Then Laurio tightened his hold on Erik’s throat, and the older man could feel his airways being squeezed shut. His eyesight blackened momentarily, and he was forced to cease struggling. The guard took the opportunity to rip his shirt open and then twisted his right nipple brutally. Erik hissed out from the pain but could not scream because a hand was still locked around his throat.

“Like that, you little bitch?” Laurio asked gleefully, his stinking breath washing over Erik’s face. He moved his hand from Erik’s abused nipple down to the waistband of the mutant’s pants to tear them down.

“Stop this… Get off me…!” Erik cried one last time and tried to shove the heavier man away by pushing his shoulders and upper arms.

“Oh, I’ll get myself off, alright!” Laurio tore down Erik’s pants along with his briefs and then loosened his hold on the older man’s throat only to hit him across the face. The blow stunned Erik, who sank back, momentarily dazed. The coppery taste of blood was evident in his mouth when he was flipped over onto his stomach by rough hands. There was no doubt about this now, and Erik knew it. He was going to be raped. Pretty soon he could hear the sound of a belt being unbuckled and then felt his legs being shoved apart. The plastic floor was cold against his bare chest. The torn shirt did not offer much protection.

Laurio was not gentle. Erik cried out in pain and desperation when he was penetrated and his sensitive sphincter was rudely breached by the invading organ. The heavy man was lying on top of him, pressing him firmly against the floor and giving him difficulties to breathe. Sometime during the rape Laurio grabbed his hair and hit his head against the floor.

“You like this, faggot?” he sneered in Erik’s ear while thrusting vehemently into the clenching passage, now lubricated by Erik’s blood. Magneto didn’t reply. He had given up resistance long ago and was now only waiting for the assault to end. Laurio didn’t really last long; just seven minutes, but it felt like a lifetime to Erik.

With a final thrust the pig of a man grunted and came, shooting his seed deep into Erik’s bloody, abused backside. He quickly pulled out, and Erik heard the sound of a closing zipper and a belt being buckled. He still lay unmoving, afraid that he if moved, Laurio would kick him in the stomach, or something worse.

“Mutie faggot,” Laurio’s voice said from above him. “Look at you now! Wanna get up and take it like a real man?”

Erik still didn’t move and showed no signs of having heard the words. //If I stay like this long enough, he will tire and leave…//

And he was right. Laurio snorted to himself and turned on his heel, leaving Erik’s plastic cell through the transparent tunnel that was the only entrance and exit. Not until he heard the slide door slip back shut did Erik dare to open his eyes and lift his head.

When the immediate sense of terror had faded, he became aware of the pain. It was strongest in his nether regions and his head. There was an acute buzzing in his ears and when he tried to focus his eyes, his vision blurred. And then his lower lip was split and leaked blood. The burning pain in his rectum was undoubtedly the worst, though. Erik noticed the clear red bloodstains mixed with whitish drops of the man’s semen on the clean, plastic floor when he struggled into a sitting position. He was still bleeding down there and would probably continue to do so for the next twelve hours.

Why? Why had Laurio done this? Erik couldn’t understand it. He didn’t know then man and had nothing personal against him. Besides, Laurio seemed to hate both mutants and homosexuals. He was both, and his rapist knew it.

After cleaning himself as well as possible, Erik crawled into bed, only wearing his briefs. He would have preferred sleeping naked, but since his rectum was still bleeding, he wanted to avoid staining the sheets. He had dabbed his anus with damp tissues and placed some toilet paper in his briefs. Hopefully the bleeding had ceased when he woke up again.

Erik knew now that he was in hell with no chance to escape it. Laurio could – and probably would – come back to do it again. No one would care. No one would stop him. There was no help to get. He was alone.

*~*~*~*

Erik was living in a nightmare that began as soon as he woke up. Laurio would visit him at least once a week, sometimes more often, and Erik spent every waking moment being afraid and anxious of the future. None of the other guards cared. After Laurio had been there, no one usually came in after him. Erik’s body was always full of welts, marks, and bruises that told of the constant abuse. New ones were caused before the old ones could heal.

He had given up struggling already after the second time. Resistance only made it worse and caused him more serious injuries. Once he accidentally happened to scratch Laurio’s arm, and the man broke his finger as a punishment. That took over a month to heal.

Erik had more or less resigned himself to his situation. When it happened now, he went to lie passively on the bed, face down. If he did that, and Laurio was in a good mood, he was sometimes spared the beating. He never cooperated, though. Whenever he was raped and felt the evil man’s fat cock moving inside of him and tearing him up, he tried to imagine that he was somewhere else, or at least that his mind was. He often thought of his happy childhood in Poland before the Nazis occupied the country and started deporting Jews. But it didn’t always work. The pain often broke any and all illusions, and all he could concentrate on was the rape.

He had tried to relax a few times to make it go smoother, but that never worked either. Laurio never used anything to ease the entry, not even spit. Erik was certain that he did it on purpose. This was *supposed* to hurt and cause him pain; it was the whole point. When he was done, Laurio either left immediately or stayed a while to insult or taunt him. “Faggot”, “mutie”, “kike”, and “pussy” where some of the words that he was often called.

Charles came to visit him for the first time about five weeks after he was imprisoned. Erik had not expected it and did not know what to do. His old friend was probably the only one who could still help him, but he couldn’t tell Charles about this. He just couldn’t. The humiliation was too great. He didn’t want to see Charles at all. His presence only made the ordeal even more unbearable.

Knowing that Charles never probed his mind without permission, he guarded his mental shields with the utmost care and hoped that nothing would reach the telepath. Charles’ soft, gentle, grey eyes looked into his, and he was quite sure that his friend could see that something was very wrong. There were some fading bruises left on his face, but that was not all. He refused to open up. When Charles talked to him, he gave short answers or none at all. Charles finally tired of trying and left, and Erik thought that he had seen the last of his old friend and former lover. But Xavier came back.

Even though he dreaded them, Charles’ visits were probably what kept Erik alive during is time in the plastic prison. A few faint rays of light pierced the darkness in his soul every time he heard that Charles was coming. It was difficult to see his friend, because he could not open his heart to the telepath, but at least he knew that Charles cared about him.

When Charles had gone, the blackness immediately returned with full power. Erik lost his appetite and started losing weight rapidly. Many times he left his food completely untouched, because it disgusted him. He washed himself many times a day, because he felt dirty and used at all times. No scrubbing in the world could make this filth go away, though.

He slept a lot, and even though his sleep was plagued by nightmares, the dreamland was a place of refuge for him. He knew that his increasing need for sleep had both physical and psychological reasons. The weight loss and lack of nutriment had made his body even weaker, and for a while there was a vain hope that Laurio might leave him alone if he noticed how utterly broken and helpless Erik had become. But he had no such luck. The sadistic guard treated him as cruelly and brutally as always, and the rapes continued. Erik was in a state of despair. He had to make this stop. Somehow. There had to be an escape, one way or another.

The chance to escape was so minimal that he immediately gave up thinking about it. Suicide. That was the final way out. Perhaps it was all he had left to try. He dreaded it, but if “living” like this for the rest of his existence was his only other choice, he would choose death.

He knew that he was being closely monitored, so to succeed, he had to do it quickly. Erik was hopeful for a while, but his attempt to hang himself failed miserably. Before he could even get properly started, his tool – a stripe of fabric from an old sheet – was taken from him, and that night they even tied him to the bed with leather straps.

Laurio came already on the next day. The guard raped him violently and beat him worse than ever before. Erik almost believed that the man would kill him this time and actually started hoping for it. He did not die, but obviously Laurio had gone too far this time, because a doctor was summoned to check on him the very same evening.

The physician who arrived was in his forties, tall and thin with short, red hair and glasses. He said his name, but Erik could not remember it afterwards. He examined the injured mutant in a very disinterested way and stated a jaw fracture, a knocked out tooth, a mild concussion, a broken wrist, abdominal bruising, and rectal damage. Erik’s wrist was bandaged, and he received a shot with penicillin to prevent any possible infections, but nothing more. Not even something for the pain. The physician left quickly when he was done with his task without even looking back at Erik.

Erik both looked forward to and dreaded a visit from Charles now, because there was simply no way to hide the fact that he’d been seriously abused this time. His next visitor was however not Charles but someone else.

It was William Stryker. Erik knew the man from before. He was in the military and also a very brilliant scientist – and he hated mutants. After their conversation that day, Erik knew a bit more of Stryker’s intentions. The man had stayed serious throughout the visit and spoken in a very businesslike voice, and yet Erik had spotted the malicious, scornful gleam in his eyes behind the glasses. Stryker mocked him.

Erik still had obvious welts left from the latest beating, and he made no attempts to hide them. It was hardly any use. Stryker knew very well what was going on anyway.

“I can make all this stop, Erik,” he had said in a calm, cool voice. “I know how you suffer. All I ask is that you do me a small favour.”

At that moment hope had been rekindled in Erik’s heart, but as soon as he found out what Stryker wanted from him, he sank back into the black abyss of despair. This man asked him to betray his dearest friend and his whole kind by revealing secrets about things that could be used for very sinister purposes, and he was not willing to do that even to get himself out of this nightmare. And there was no guarantee that Stryker would keep his promise even *if* Erik agreed to reveal crucial information. The man hated his kind and thought that the only good mutant was a dead mutant.

“Too bad, Mr. Lehnsherr,” Stryker had said before he left. “And I believed that these months here had made you humble and reasonable.”

Erik went to bed with a big lump in his chest that evening. He now realized that there was no way out of this pitch of hell. His miserable existence would continue until he finally died. Charles’ next visit. That was all he had to look forward to.

*~*~*~*

When Erik was asleep, his dreams were often haunted by terrible nightmares of both Laurio and nightmares about Auschwitz, which he had more or less gotten used to over the years. Many a time had he clung to Charles at night because of them and cried in the gentle telepath’s arms once Charles awakened him and murmured softly that everything was alright.

All his dreams were not bad, though, and they still weren’t. This particular night he had travelled back in time and Charles was with him again, as a young, healthy man with strong legs – the way he had been before the accident that rendered him paralysed from the waist down. They were carefree and happy in a way that they had never been, not even as young men when the mutant issue was not as prominent.

Charles was the only man that Erik had ever willingly let into his body. He had never trusted anyone else enough to allow it. They were making love in his dream, softly and tenderly, and Charles rocked into him with soft, delicious thrusts, not painful, violent stabs like Laurio did when he raped him. The warm weight of his lover’s body felt pleasant on top of him, and when they kissed, he eagerly opened his mouth to sample Charles’ hot, moist lips and wet tongue. It was all wonderful. He felt that he was close to a climax, and so was Charles. He…

Erik was abruptly pulled out of his dream when someone jerked his covers down and slapped him across the face. His eyes snapped open in shock, and when his eyesight cleared after adjusting to the sudden light, he could see Laurio standing by his bed, staring down at him with a shark’s grin. The guard’s eyes moved over his prone body and stopped by his crotch. Erik only wore briefs and a T-shirt, and he was suddenly painfully aware that he had an erection.

“Well, well, what have we here?” Laurio sneered. “Are you that happy to see me, faggot?”

Erik stared back into the leering face with the small, evil eyes and refused to accept that his wonderful dream had been interrupted by something like this. Now he would be raped and beaten again, and the humiliation was greater than ever. His erection. There was no way to hide it. All he could do was to wish that it would disappear before his rapist got started.

Laurio bent down and wrenched the small underpants down and off. Erik’s arousal was quickly flagging, but it had not yet disappeared completely.

“Were you dreaming about me?”

“Fuck me and get it over with!” Erik hissed back. “That is why you’re here, isn’t it? Just do what you always do!”

But Laurio just shook his head in reply, still grinning. “No, mutant-shit. I thought we might try something different this time.”

He unbuckled his belt and reached into his pants to take his cock out, giving it a few quick, short strokes to make it harden. Erik shrank back from him, pressing up against the wall, but he had nowhere to go. Laurio then buried his hand in Erik’s thick hair and jerked his head toward himself. The mutant screamed and for a moment believed that his scalp would be torn from his scull. When the immediate pain had faded, Erik opened his eyes and found his face only a few inches from his rapist’s half-erect member. The image and the smell were nauseating and he almost vomited when he realized Laurio’s intentions.

“Come on, faggot, open up,” the guard urged him.

“No…!” Erik growled with a strange kind of fury blazing within him. He would *not* do it. No way in hell. He just couldn’t. Laurio had to kill him before he sucked the bastard’s cock.

The hold on his hair tightened. “Do you have a choice, you think, fuck-bag? I know that you’ve sucked cocks before, so this should be nothing new.”

Erik glared up at him with hatred and rage burning in his eyes. “Rape me if you want to – I can’t stop you. But I will *not* cooperate, and I will *not* suck your cock!”

The grin had disappeared from Laurio’s face and been replaced by a look of anger. “You will, if I so have to pry your mouth open!”

“Do that, and I will bite you!” Erik hissed.

“If you bite me, I will snap your neck, fucking faggot kike!”

“Then do it! Kill me! That’s what you have wanted all along, isn’t it? I’m nothing more than another dead mutant to you. How much do you get? If you really hate us “faggots” as much as you claim, he must pay you well. *Is* Stryker paying you to fuck me, or are you simply a faggot just as I?”

Laurio’s only reply was a growl of rage and a hard punch to Erik’s face that threw him against the wall and caused blood to flow from his nose and lip. He had no time to recover before the guard was over him, pressing him into the mattress with his greater weight and squeezing his throat with one hand. Erik prayed he would lose consciousness. It would not hurt as much then.

He had no such luck, though. Laurio did not hit him again and loosened his hold on his throat before the lack of oxygen made him faint. “Okay, as you wish!” Laurio snarled in his face. The man had drunk a beer or more this evening. “I’ll fuck you!”

Erik’s legs were brutally shoved apart, and his rapist thrust into him with one single stab. He screamed in agony, and this only seemed to increase Laurio’s arousal. His own erection was fortunately completely gone, and his shrivelled little penis lay flaccid against his inner thigh in its nest of grey hair.

There was something now that was different from all the previous times namely the position. Laurio had never fucked him face to face before. He always chose to rape Erik from behind, and while Erik did not know why for certain, he suspected that not having to look into his victim’s eyes made it less personal to the guard. Laurio also never touched his genitals except to wrench and squeeze them in a painful and unimaginable way.

Erik was delivered one more blow before the rape ended, but it was not hard enough to stun him. Laurio wanted him to be fully aware of what happened until the end. Erik was sure of that. When he had finished, Laurio quickly pulled out, as always, and used Erik’s torn briefs to wipe his blood- and come-covered cock before tucking it back into his trousers. Erik moaned, but he lay completely still. Well, at least his rapist would not try to force his disgusting organ into his mouth. That was a small comfort.

But instead of leaving, Laurio stayed by Erik’s bed and continued to leer down at the abused, older man. Erik looked back up with dismay in his eyes. Why didn’t he just leave when he was finished? Not even Laurio could already be up for another turn, could he?

“You know, freak, you probably prefer a cock that never flags, right? Why don’t you try this!”

Laurio loosened his plastic truncheon from its fastening on his belt and held the frightening object visible to Erik. At first the mutant didn’t understand. Yes, his abuser had used the truncheon to beat him a few times, but what was he…

The answer came quickly when his legs were opened once more and the blunt end of the plastic object was thrust into his bleeding, torn, aching rectum. Erik couldn’t help it. He cried out louder than ever before and started thrashing wildly. The truncheon was pushed deeper inside him than Laurio’s cock had ever been. The pain was excruciating, and Erik seriously did not believe he would survive this.

He is going to rupture my bowels, he thought. It felt as if the object was in his stomach now. He squirmed weakly and tried to pull himself away, but every time he moved, more plastic was thrust into his rectum. His inner muscles were working frantically to force the invading piece of cold, hard material out, but it was no use.

After about eight inches of the truncheon was inside him, Laurio pulled it back out only to thrust it in again with full force. One could easily see how far it had been shoved the first time on the blood coating the transparent plastic. Erik had never begged before, but now he didn’t see he had any choice. This had to stop, and if complete submission was what his tormentor craved, then he would have it.

“Please…” Erik whispered. “Please… stop… I’ll do what you want… Just stop… I beg you…”

Laurio immediately stopped his movements and a smirk formed over his face. “Oh, is that so? How humble of you, mutant-freak!”

The truncheon was pulled out of Erik’s bleeding rectum and was not thrust back in, but his reprieve was short. He sighed in relief when the awful feeling of the plastic rod tearing him up disappeared, and Laurio caught him completely off-guard when he suddenly brought the bloody object near his face and pressed it into his mouth. Erik tried to scream and gagged immediately, coughing and sputtering convulsively when the odious, disgusting taste of blood, semen, and feces from his bowels filled his mouth and throat.

“You bite down on that!” Laurio laughed cruelly. “You’ll only ruin your teeth!”

Being raped orally with the smeared object did not hurt as much as having it thrust up his anal passage, but this was more humiliating than anything he’d been forced to endure so far. Tears filled his eyes and started pouring down his cheeks. The object was growing in his mouth and soon threatened to make him throw up. What would happen if he did that? Would he choke on his own vomit? Even though Erik wanted death at this moment, that was not an appealing way to die.

When Laurio finally decided that he had tormented the poor mutant enough for the day, he simply pulled the truncheon out of Erik’s mouth and turned to leave. Before he did, though, he poked the mutant’s now very prominent ribs with the hated and feared object.

This time Erik did not get up to wash himself – as he usually did – or even to check how bad his injuries were. Instead he stayed in the bed among the bloodied sheets and curled into a ball, hoping that he would fall asleep and die before he woke up again. Perhaps his bowels had been ruptured, after all? The pain at the moment certainly made it feel believable. Maybe he was bleeding internally and dying already? It was a comforting thought.

*~*~*~*

It became clear already on the next day that he would not die from his injuries. He fell asleep and woke up to discover that his body was aching all over. The sheet under him was coloured rusty with dried blood, which also clotted around his torn anus and on his inner thighs. Erik moaned feebly and tried to change his position a little. Because of his injured and swollen nose, he had been breathing through his mouth all night, and now his throat – also still sore from the heinous assault – felt like sandpaper.

Water… he thought and figured he had to get up and drag himself over to the washstand, but as soon as he moved, the pain between his legs told him that he wasn’t getting anywhere in a while.

This could simply not go on. Erik realized that he had two choices. One was committing suicide, and the other was to tell Charles everything next time his old friend came to visit him. He had been treated like this for 14 months now, and the entire time had been a hell on earth. Maybe… *maybe* Charles could do something if he got to know what really was done to his old friend and lover. Charles was the only one who still cared about him, after all. Surely he wouldn’t just leave Erik here if he told him.

He prayed that Charles would come soon. If Laurio did anything like this again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. Didn’t anyone care? Didn’t they see him as a human being? He knew that he was no angel, but he did *not* deserve this.

Erik thought that he would have preferred being locked up in a dungeon with Hannibal Lecter as his cellmate to where he was now. It could hardly get any worse than this.

Charles Xavier came to the plastic prison only five days after Erik’s latest assault, and what he got to see and hear that day shocked him beyond comprehension. The bruises caused by Laurio were still left on Erik’s face, although some had already taken on a green-yellowish colour.

“Hello, Erik,” Charles said, wheeling to the table at which Erik was sitting. As always, he had been forced to leave his electric wheelchair behind and borrow a plastic one from the prison. “Have you fallen out of bed again?” he asked tentatively when noticing his friend’s badly bruised face.

Erik quietly shook his head and decided not to waste any time. He lifted his head and met Charles’ inquiring, sympathetic gaze. “No, Charles,” he replied in a weary, sad voice. “I have been beaten, just as I have on every other occasion when you have seen me with these bruises.”

Charles’ eyes widened from shock and surprise. “Beaten? Who did that? Why? You have never told me about this before!”

“That’s because I was too ashamed. But I am telling you now, so will you listen to me?”

“Erik, of course… Tell me. What’s happening here?”

Erik started telling his tragic, sad, and shocking story from beginning to end, starting with the intimate body search by Laurio the first day and finishing with the horrible anal and oral rape involving the truncheon that took place only five days ago. Charles did not interrupt him once, and when he was finished, Erik discovered that he was crying. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks, and he did nothing to stop them.

“You have to help me, Charles…” he sobbed. “Please… I… I can’t take this any longer… It… it’s only getting worse…! I want out of here. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a… a…”

So far Charles had only listened without interrupting, and what he now knew almost made it difficult for him to breathe. Had *his* Erik truly been… For 14 months… It sounded unbelievable, and at the same time it made sense. That explained how withdrawn and introvert Erik had become, his aversion to looking Charles in the eye, and his unwillingness to talk. It also explained his dramatic weight loss and the almost constant bruises on his face and arms – and surely on other parts of his body, which Charles could not see.

“Erik…” he began, suddenly lacking words. “I am so sorry… I don’t understand… Why have you not told me about this before? How could you have kept all this within you for so long? Erik…”

Now it was as if a dam burst inside Erik, and he threw himself off his chair, right at Charles feet, clutching his friend’s knees and calves. “Please, Charles, you have to take me out of here!” he cried, looking up at Charles’ shocked face with his wet, blood-shot eyes. “I can’t live like this! You have to help me…!”

“Oh, Erik…” Charles began and gently cupped the other man’s bruised face in his hands to calm him. “Of course I will help you. I can’t let this go on… I will talk with your attorney the first thing I do tomorrow, and…”

“No!” Erik cried out at once. “Now! I want out of here *now*! I won’t last here another night! Charles, don’t you understand? He will do something worse when they find out that I have told you! He will kill me this time, or cripple me, at least. You are the only one who can help me… Please… Take me out of here… You can do it. Just use your telepathy.”

//Erik, do you realize what you’re asking?// Charles no longer dared to speak out loud in fear of being monitored and listened to. He lightly touched the side of Erik’s head with his fingers and listened for an answer.

It came immediately. //Please. I really can’t cope anymore. If you won’t help me, I will kill myself before he can do it again.//

//Erik…!//

Not only the look in Erik’s haunted, hollow eyes but his thoughts told Charles that he was being sincere. Despite everything that had happened, his old friend was still dear to him, and the idea of the rape and abuse continuing made him cold within.

“Alright, Erik…” he whispered. “Alright. I will take you with me.”

Erik buried his face in Charles’ lap and just cried. This time, though, it was with relief.

“However, there is one thing which you must promise me.”

“Yes?” Erik looked up, both anxious and expectant.

“You must promise me that you won’t use your powers to harm anyone once we’re out of here.”

“Alright, I promise.”

*~*~*~*

The people Charles “froze” with his telepathy reminded Erik very much of the incredibly lifelike wax dolls that he had seen at Madame Tussaud’s wax cabinet in London many years ago. Fortunately Laurio did not seem to be at work today. Erik did not desire to see him, either as a person or a wax doll.

He had expected Cyclops to have accompanied Charles as a bodyguard and driver, but instead he saw Wolverine. At the sight of the big, ferocious mutant Erik cringed away, momentarily forgetting that he was no longer captive in the plastic box and free to use his powers. Logan’s face got a look of fright, and his claws immediately popped up from between his knuckles.

“Logan! It’s alright,” Charles said in a warning tone, but that could not eliminate the frown on Logan’s face or his suspicions. When seeing Magneto, his first and only thought was that the notorious mutant terrorist had escaped from his prison and taken Xavier as his hostage. But when Magneto recoiled from him with the look of a hunted animal in his eyes, and after a second, more thorough look, he noticed how changed the old man was. He was as thin as a rack, and his face was badly bruised. Wasn’t there a limp, also?

Erik took a few deep breaths and had to lean against Charles’ wheelchair for support. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, and his head throbbed vehemently, creating a buzzing in his ears. He would faint soon. He could feel it. His legs would soon fail him as well, as he had not properly used them in months.

He was in a corridor with windows now, and when looking out through them, he could see glimpses of the outside world – a sight he had craved for 14 months but which now frightened him. I’m agoraphobic, he realized. I can no longer go outside.

“He… Help me…” were Erik’s last words before his head began to spin, and he fell, passed out, to the floor.

“Logan, it seems like you’ll have to carry him,” Charles stated calmly. “Now come. We must hurry. I cannot control the minds of over 100 people for an indefinite time period.”

Logan hesitated and looked at Xavier as if he’d gone mad. The professor just returned his gaze with a steady one of his own, which made it clear to Logan that he was serious. “But… where will you take him?” he asked.

“To the mansion, of course. Or do you have a better idea? Now hurry! If I were not confined to this chair, I would carry him myself, but I require your help now.”

Logan asked no more questions but went to pick Erik up, although he approached the lax body cautiously, as though he believed that Magneto would suddenly wake up and send him crashing into a wall. That did not happen, however. Erik’s head lolled limply over his muscled arm when he finally lifted the weak, elder man from the floor. He was very light. He must have lost at least 25 pounds since Logan saw him at Liberty Island, and even then Magneto had been lean.

“It’s alright, Logan, I assure you,” Charles said reassuringly when sensing Logan’s hesitancy. “I will explain to you later.”

*~*~*~*

Erik regained consciousness sometime during the drive back to the Xavier mansion. Already before opening his eyes, he could feel that he was in a car that was moving, and there was a hand on his head, stroking his hair with slow, gentle caresses. His head was in Charles’ lap. He was not really sure how he knew that this was Charles, because he had not yet heard his voice or seen his face. Maybe it was his scent, the faint sounds of his breaths, or the way his hand moved.

Charles immediately noticed Erik’s stirring and anxiously waited for his reaction. His friend moaned weakly, and a shiver passed through his emaciated frame, making Charles wonder if the blanket he had covered Erik with was enough to keep the cold at bay.

“Be calm, Erik,” he murmured softly. “You are safe now. No one will hurt you. We will soon reach the mansion. How are you feeling?”

“I… I…” Erik tried, but somehow he did not have the strength or the motivation to continue. In fact, he was feeling nauseous. It had to be an empty feeling, though, because he had not eaten anything in a long time. When turning his eyes up, he could see treetops whistling past in the car window. He was lying in the backseat. Then who was driving? Right, Logan. Erik dimly recalled seeing Wolverine at the prison before he collapsed.

The car reached the approach to the mansion only ten minutes later. Erik was awake by now, but he was still so weak and groggy that Charles insisted that Logan pick him up and carry him inside. But Erik objected.

“I will walk on my own, thank you!” he muttered when Logan bent down to lift him out of the car. Logan backed away immediately, not caring to make another attempt.

“At least take Logan’s hand,” Charles urged him. “We’ll see if you’re strong enough to stand on your own.”

Erik reluctantly took the proffered hand of the other mutant, and Logan almost winced when Erik’s claw-like hand gripped his own. Magneto felt dizzy at first, but that feeling vanished after a few seconds, and he was indeed strong enough to stand up by himself.

It was past sunset, and Erik spent some time simply looking at the darkening world around him. It felt almost surreal. Sadly he thought that he actually had developed some sort of agoraphobia during his time in the prison. Now he only wanted to get inside as quickly as possible.

The Xavier mansion had been his home for over 20 years in the past, so Erik did not need to be told where to go. Without even asking, he assumed that Charles would take him to what had once been their joint bedchamber, and he was right. He really didn’t want to be alone right now, and supposedly Charles knew this.

Before they got there, however, Xavier wanted to take Erik down to the med-lab to be examined by Jean. “Let’s go there first. Jean will examine your injuries. We must make sure that there has been no infection or…”

“No!” Erik replied vehemently. “Forget it. I… I don’t want her to do it.” The thought of undressing before Jean and letting her examine his abused backside revolted him. He had already endured so much humiliation and could not take more.

Instead of arguing, Charles seemed to understand and did not try to persuade him. “Alright, Erik, I understand. Then come with me, and I will let you rest until tomorrow.”

Once they reached Charles’ chamber, Erik realized that he wanted to get cleaned. A bath would be nice. Yes, that’s what he wanted. Not that he believed that even a nice, hot bath could take away the feeling of filth that he carried, but it would make him feel better than before.

Charles’ bathroom was designed for disabled persons, and everything was large and wide, so that the telepath could move around in his wheelchair without risk getting stuck. Charles was the one who started to fill the roomy bathtub with suitably hot water, while Erik sat down on the toilet seat, waiting for him to finish. “Alright, I think it’s ready for you now,” he said after checking the water temperature with his hand. Steam was rising from the tub and making the air inside the bathroom hot and humid.

Erik began to shed his clothes. Charles regarded him hesitantly. “Would you like me to leave, while you…?”

“No, stay,” Erik replied. “I want you here. Who knows, I might even collapse again and drown in the tub.”

The last was a weak attempt at joking, but it did not particularly amuse Charles. He even suspected that it might happen, even though Erik might not realize it himself. Despite knowing Erik’s grim state of health, Xavier could not help but gasp in shock when he saw his friend’s nude body. Erik truly looked like a concentration camp victim or a man dying from some incurable disease. He had bruises everywhere; marks, welts, scratches… Fingertip-sized bruising on his hips and inner thighs that told of Laurio’s brutal treatment during the rapes. Some scars, as well. This had been going on for over a year, after all.

Erik showed no signs of modesty, though. He slipped into the tub, sighing when he immersed his sore body in the pleasant, hot water. Many a time at the plastic prison, he had scrubbed himself frantically to get rid of the filth and dirt that just wouldn’t come off. He felt the urge to do the same now but controlled himself.

Charles had a large, soft sponge which he hesitantly picked up after a while. It felt soothing against his skin, and he started rubbing it up and down his skinny, longish arms. His wrists bore proofs of the assaults as well, and his right one – still not fully healed – ached when he made hasty movements.

Erik stayed in the bath for almost half an hour and would have stayed longer if not Charles had wheeled over to him and gently told him that he was clean now. The telepath offered him a big, green bathing towel to wrap around his body when he came up, and Erik accepted it, hanging it loosely around his shoulders.

Directly after he had stepped out of the tub, dizziness overcame him again, and he had to lean against the wall so as not to faint. With his eyes closed, he waited for it to pass. God, he was weak! He had not felt this way since he was rescued from Auschwitz over fifty years ago. Charles was immediately there, steadying him with a hand to his back.

“Are you alright?” the telepath asked worriedly. If Erik fainted now, he would have to summon Jean here, whether Erik gave his consent or not.

“Yes, I’m fine…” Erik murmured after a few seconds when the dizziness had passed. “Now I want to sleep…”

“Would you like to have something to eat? I can have something brought up…”

“No, just sleep.”

“Alright.”

They re-entered the bedchamber, and Charles pulled the bedspread away. The bed was a king-sized double bed, and despite living alone, Charles had kept the extra pillow and bed cover on Erik’s old side. Erik himself could not figure out why.

He would have liked to spend some time scrutinizing the room to see what Charles had changed since he moved out, but right now sleep was all he wanted. The sheets in the bed were beige and looked much more inviting than the sterile, white sheets at the prison. Gratefully he sank down between them, pulling the cover up to his chest. He almost dared not believe that he was safe. Laurio would not stand by his bed and leer at him with his evil pig’s eyes when he woke up ever again. He would most certainly be in Erik’s dreams, though, and that was a problem of its own.

“Erik? Erik, my dear?” Erik opened his weary eyes and realized that he had almost fallen asleep already. Charles was sitting by the bed, looking at him and caressing his hair.

“Yes…?” he murmured in reply.

“I really need to examine your rectum. Will you be alright with that?”

Erik wanted to object, but he also knew that Charles was right. Perhaps there was tearing and he needed penicillin? Still, the thought of Charles doing it was not as appalling as having Jean do the same. He swept back the covers and slowly spread his legs. The position made him feel very vulnerable, but he trusted Charles more than any other man and managed to keep himself calm.

Charles coated his right index finger with some cortisone salve that would aid both the healing process and the entry. Erik’s eyes were open, and he was looking straight up at the ceiling.

“I will be quick. Just try to relax,” the telepath said reassuringly, hoping that he could indeed be quick. If Erik had serious tearing, he would have to visit the med-lab right away.

“It’s alright, Charles. You can do it,” Erik replied quietly.

Charles smiled and squeezed his hand encouragingly before moving on to the task itself. Erik’s anus was slightly swollen even on the outside, and it was not difficult to guess that he had been raped violently only days ago. “Alright. Let me know if it hurts too much.”

He then slowly eased his slick index finger half-way inside. Erik groaned faintly, but he did not fidget or cry out with pain, so Charles was hopeful about this examination. There was indeed tearing, old and new, but fortunately no active bleeding. Probably the injuries would heal by themselves in time, even though the scar tissue would remain. Despite knowing that he caused Erik pain, he moved his finger around, feeling every inch of the narrow channel. He had touched Erik in this fashion as a lover long ago, but now he did it as a doctor, and there was nothing arousing about it.

Suddenly Erik gave out a shrill cry, and his whole body jerked up from the bed. Charles, believing that he had hurt his friend, pulled his finger out in shock. “Erik, I’m sorry!”

Erik, now breathing heavily, shook his head. “No… It’s just that you… brushed my prostate,” he said.

For the first time in the whole evening, Charles felt abashed. It had definitely not been his intention, as he did not want Erik to associate this examination with anything sexual. “I’m sorry, Erik,” he said truthfully. “But your rectum seems to be healing nicely. I doubt you’ll need any antibiotics.”

Erik sighed with relief and slowly closed his legs, assuming that the examination was over. He then rolled onto his side and bent his knees. He was so tired. Perhaps a long night of undisturbed sleep would make him feel stronger.

“Erik?” Charles asked again, placing his hand on his friend’s meagre thigh and stroking it. “I have one more question for you.”

“Hmmm?”

“This man who raped you… What do you know about him?”

“Laurio?” Erik asked and shivered. “Not much… Big, late thirties, pig’s eyes, sadistic… That’s it. I don’t even know his first name.”

“Did he…” Charles had to swallow before he could continue. “Did he use a condom when he raped you?”

Erik started. “A condom? No, never. Charles… Do you… Do you think he may have given me HIV?” His voice was trembling now, and his heart rate had increased rapidly. Charles tried to give him a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure he hasn’t, but there are other sexually transmitted diseases, and the safest thing is to test you. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m sorry about that, Erik.”

Erik felt tears coming to his eyes again. “I want to test myself!” he said. “As soon as possible!”

“Tomorrow,” Xavier promised. “Now I think you should sleep.” He wheeled to the other side of the large bed and started undressing. He usually slept naked or wearing only briefs, but he was unsure of Erik’s reaction if he would come into bed naked or nearly so. They had shared this bed before, but after months of continuous sexual abuse, Erik might be reluctant to sleep with a naked man beside him.

Erik turned over to lie on his left side, so that he was able to regard his friend across the bed. He noticed Charles’ hesitancy to disrobe and said, “It’s alright. You can take your clothes off.”

Xavier complied, relieved that his presence did not revolt Erik. It was still hard to imagine that his former lover was now a rape victim. Poor Erik. Charles regretted not having pressured his friend to tell him what was wrong earlier. That way they could have stopped this nightmare long ago. Now Erik’s spirit might be permanently scarred, and part of it was his fault, or so it felt. He lifted himself into bed with the help of his arms and pulled the covers up. Should he read something before going to sleep? Charles decided not to. He was tired as well, and besides it might disturb Erik.

When he was about to turn off the lights, he noticed that Erik had still not pulled his bed covers back up. His grey eyes met Erik’s hollow, blue ones. “Will you hold me while I sleep?” the other man asked sadly. He feared the constant nightmares and thought it might help to lie close to someone who cared about him.

Charles opened his arms and lifted the edge of his quilt. “Of course, Erik, my dear. Come here. I was just afraid to ask you.”

Erik moved to lie in the curve of the telepath’s body, his back pressing against Charles’ chest. A strong, gentle arm wrapped around his waist, and he could feel Charles’ warm breaths in his neck. His friend – and saviour – was naked as well. He could feel the crisp pubic hair and the flaccid member against the cleft between his buttocks. It did not unsettle him, because he knew that Charles would never hurt him.

“Now sleep, my dear Erik…” Charles whispered in the darkness. “And wake me anytime if you’re not feeling well.”

Erik’s only reply was an unclear murmur, and soon after he was soundly asleep.

*~*~*~*

He had his first nightmare that very same night. 4:37 AM and woke up screaming, expecting to find himself in his bed at the plastic prison – a place where he had been as late as yesterday – with Laurio’s heavy body pinning him to the mattress and the man’s sticky arousal poking him between his buttocks.

Charles calmed him, stroked his body and his hair, and kept him in a gentle embrace to let him know that he wasn’t alone. His sobs died out slowly, and 5:21 he was able to slip back into sleep, this time with his head resting on Charles’ chest.


Epilogue

After having supped in their joint bedchamber, Erik was weary and wanted to go to bed. Charles suggested that they watch TV for a while before going to sleep, but Erik did not feel inclined to watch a movie right now. He was having a “bad” day and hoped that a good night’s sleep could rid him of that feeling, as it often did. Very seldom had he had two bad days in a row.

Charles gave in, knowing that he should let Erik set the pace on a day like this. Hopefully tomorrow would be better. They undressed and crept into bed, even though it was only nine thirty in the evening. Xavier decided to read some before settling for sleep and reached under his bedside table where he kept the book he was currently reading. It was non-fiction literature from Reader’s Digest concerning paranormal activities. Erik lay beside him, turned towards him with his eyes open, despite the fact that Charles had told him to turn away if the light bothered him. After a while it began to bother Charles instead, and he found himself unable to concentrate on his reading. He put the book away and instead gave Erik his undivided attention.

“Erik, what is wrong?” he asked concernedly. When he received no answer, he opened his arms and beckoned to Erik to come. His friend slowly moved into his embrace and snuggled close to his chest. Charles kissed the top of the grey head.

“Your state of mind saddens me,” the telepath confessed. “If there is anything I can do to make you feel better…”

Erik sighed softly and made a motion probably supposed to represent a shrug. “You are very kind, Charles, really, but I don’t think…”

“Do you think about him much… Laurio?”

“Among other things.”

“He can’t get to you now. You are safe here,” Charles tried, but he knew that his words sounded empty in Erik’s ears.

“I know.”

Charles put his finger under Erik’s chin and tilted his head up. He then kissed his old friend’s lips, and although Erik returned the kiss, he kind of did it without enthusiasm. Xavier stroked Erik’s back and shoulders and reached down to caress the other man’s flaccid penis. Erik sighed heavily against his chest.

“Don’t touch my penis… It’s disgusting…”

“No, Erik, it is not disgusting,” Charles replied firmly. “No part of you is. I love touching you everywhere. You should know that.”

Charles knew what this was about. They had tried to have sex a few times in the past year, but Erik had been unable to get a proper erection every time, so none of their attempts had been successful. The telepath had really tried everything: oral sex, masturbation, prostate stimulation… Erik got half-hard, but there it stopped. He had even persuaded Erik to visit an urologist, and the doctor had said that there were no physical impediments to getting an erection. It was all in Erik’s psyche.

Erik had started to hate himself and his own body. He was angry with himself because he had let Laurio destroy him, but at the same time he was filled with self-pity. He remembered ironically that he had had his last, real erection over 18 months ago, just before Laurio raped him both with his own flesh and a plastic truncheon.

Charles fondled the soft flesh between Erik’s legs, hoping to provoke some kind of reaction, but there was none. Only a very slight swelling due to the physical stimulation but nothing more. Erik finally pushed his hand away and said, his voice racked by sobs, “Stop! It’s humiliating! I can’t get aroused, no matter what we try. You should know that after all this time. If you want to, I can still suck you or take you in my hand…”

“No, no, Erik,” Xavier interrupted him. “I won’t impose on you like that. Sex is for both parts to enjoy. Never forget that.”

“I want to, Charles. I really do,” Erik claimed, and he did. “I want to make love to you. I hate to think that the bastard ruined me like this, but I suppose that he did. I… I don’t know what to do anymore…” Now the sobs had taken over Erik’s voice completely. “There are days when… when I hate life so much that I think it’s not worth living… I don’t want to die either, but…”

What he heard now confirmed Charles’ fears. Erik had indeed had suicidal thoughts. It frightened him, because he knew that not even he could keep a check on his friend 24 hours a day. If Erik sometime thought that life was not worth living when he wasn’t around, then…

“There is another possibility, Erik, but I have not mentioned it to you before, because it is so drastic,” he said in a slow and serious voice, even now hesitant to propose it to Erik, but things could simply not continue like this. He was the only one who could help his friend now.

“What?” Erik asked with little interest.

“I can tell you, but it is not something you should consider lightly. Are you listening?” Erik nodded mutely. “I could try to enter your mind and remove all your memories from this time. If it succeeds, it would be as though it never happened. You would have no memories of the prison, Laurio, the molestation, or anything connected to it. Believe me, Erik, it is not something I want to do, but if you truly cannot live with the memories… then maybe…”

“Do it!” Erik said immediately, and his weak, right hand gripped Charles’ arm with renewed strength. “I want you to do it, Charles. I really do. Pl… please remove my memories… I want nothing rather than that.”

Charles had expected some kind of reaction, good or bad, but he had not expected Erik to agree to it so quickly. “Erik, do you know what it means?” he asked. “I know how you feel, but…”

“You don’t know how I feel!” Erik spat out vehemently. “Every waking moment I think of it, and I am seldom left alone even in my dreams! If you can take it away, please do so, Charles. If you are my friend, if you love me, you will do it.”

“But the procedure is not without risks,” Charles tried to explain. “There is a chance I might delete some of your other memories, or there can be traces left behind… I have never done anything so profound.”

“I don’t care about the risks,” Erik said firmly. “I want you to do it. And I have not made this decision lightly. I know what I’m doing, and this is what I want.”

“Alright. I trust your judgement, my friend. If this is truly what you want, then I shall do it for you.”

“It is, Charles.”

“I understand.” Charles was afraid of trying, but if this was the only way for his Erik to get happy again, then it had to be done.

Erik knew that nothing could make the horrors undone, but this was the best compromise offered to him so far, and if it meant he had to forget everything that had happened in the past 2½ years, then so be it. Perhaps it was the knowledge that the pain would soon be gone that made Erik sleep peacefully throughout the night in his lover’s arms.


The End