Twisted Affections

Notes: Thanks to yankeesailor for the beta as always. And for...er...egging me on and telling me I could write this? XP

Warning: This is a dark look into the relationship shared between Megatron and Ratchet in the Marvel universe. Yes, they are what you might call bondmates but it is a bond forced upon them against their wishes and with little care for their faction and loyalties. This is a dark fic with mentions of violence/torture and non-consensual interfacing along with some psychological torture and conditioning.

Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire. --Kurt Tucholsky

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Ratchet was not a religious mech. Not many medics could find an appropriate balance between their god-like abilities and the belief that there is some omniscient being who can control even their life and awesome powers. That was not to say he was a complete atheist. He just didn’t have the time and energy to invest that much belief in anything.

But now… now he realized that there were far worse things than the Pit. The Inferno was nothing like this cursed existence he mockingly called life. Everything that Ratchet had done to try and stop Megatron only made things worse in the end. Now, he was bonded on nearly every psychological level to this monster and he himself was powerless to do anything.

Megatron kept him locked away in his quarters.

Ratchet had read his mind. Had seen how the Decepticon leader considered his prisoner to be his own dirty little secret. But one that Ratchet had to indulge lest he go even more insane.

“Stop it.” That tortured whisper filled the darkened room. Even now, he could hear Megatron’s thoughts as they slid like black oil through his mind. The bond they shared was a mockery of all things Ratchet had come to expect in a bonding. Sharing of your mind and spark was supposed to be a joyful experience, not a complete sham.

“Just kill me, dammit! You monster.” Ratchet’s own self-preservation protocols kept the medic from disengaging his own lasercore. Outright suicide was against a medic’s core programming. Sure, he could sacrifice himself to save others, but was not allowed that one selfish act that would free Ratchet of his pain.

A dark, insidious laugh echoed through the Autobot’s mind. ‘Why should I do that? You’re far more amusing alive then dead.’ The outright evil in Megatron’s mental tone scared Ratchet on a primal level.

Then, the son of a glitch continued to taunt his captive. ‘You need to realize that you’re mine now, Ratchet. Mine to do with as I see fit.’ The sneer was not visible but could be heard all the same. ‘And I don’t intend on letting you off so easily any time soon. Not while you’re struggles are so… scintillating…’

“You unholy monster.”

Mocking laughter was all he heard before Megatron went back to ignoring him. How he managed to conduct his business with Ratchet still tied to his mind escaped the medic.

Primus knew Ratchet wished he could just outright sever the connection binding him to this monster.

But Primus was not merciful today.

And that made Ratchet hate the God just a little bit. Fast on the heels of that anger was the fear that he was being punished for not believing as much as he should. Was this simply one terrible trial of his faith? Or had his God truly abandoned him to the mercy of this pit-beast?

Neither was a relishing thought so Ratchet tried to turn his attention to something else. Megatron had disabled his weapons and his tools. Being deprived of such an intrinsic part of himself was just one more degradation he’d suffered at Megatron’s hands.

The tyrant said it was because he didn’t want to worry about his pet trying to kill him in the night with even the most basic of laser scalpels. Ratchet had to admit he probably would have attempted just that if given half a chance.

As it was, Ratchet had to content himself with trying to not think about anything the rest of the day before Megatron made his inevitable appearance. The silver Decepticon always seemed cheered at the sight of Ratchet’s misery no matter how bad a day he’d had.

The sheer level of fragged-up that their dynamics stood on just blew Ratchet’s logic circuits. Like some parody of a real relationship, Megatron smiled his evil little smile and stepped into his quarters. “Hello, pet. Did you have a good day?” Condescension dripped from his voice.

The thing Ratchet hated the most was how his fuel pump always skipped a beat when he first saw Megatron. Ratchet didn’t know if it was because of the bond or because Megatron’s slow and steady psychological warfare was actually working. “Shut up, you slagger.”

A sneer was his only answer. Contempt and hatred gleamed in Megatron’s red optics. He was less than pleased to have been bonded to an Autobot himself but Megatron could at least take some pleasure in Ratchet’s suffering. And controlling the medic like he did now, Megatron almost believed the insidious feelings he got whenever he looked at the Autobot.

It wasn’t affection he felt when he laid optics on Ratchet every evening. It was anticipation. He didn’t revel in the surly mech’s company, but he did rather relish the pain and suffering he caused and sensed just beneath the thin veneer that was Ratchet’s attitude. Nothing seemed to please Megatron more these days than making his own pet Autobot cry and suffer. And Megatron was enough of a sadist to enjoy every whimper and cry.

“Aww, you wound me. Here I was spending my entire day thinking about you, and you greet me so coldly.” There was something not quite sane in Megatron’s optics when he said that. He crossed the distance between them and dug his fingers into the ruined armor on Ratchet’s shoulders. Metal buckled further as the Decepticon shoved Ratchet into the wall. “Do you think I want to waste my time thinking about you , Autobot?” he hissed.

“Do you think I like this any more than you do! Just kill me and get this over with.” Ratchet’s fingers clamped down on Megatron’s forearms and their bizarre embrace was complete.

A feral snarl reverberated inside Megatron’s throat. Red optics bore into Autobot blue and the animalistic snarl hung between them. ‘I hate you, you pathetic, weak Autobot.’ Even now, Megatron could not keep his thoughts private and hidden from his accursed companion.

‘I hate you more.’ And truly, for the first time in his existence, Ratchet did understand what it was to truly hate . Just yet another shred of innocence he would never get back.

The Autobot’s thought seemed to snap Megatron out of his insanity and he grinned maliciously. Sharp canines flashed in the light and he dug his fingers into the delicate circuitry he could feel beneath Ratchet’s crushed armor. “Just so we’re clear on the subject.”

They glared at one another for a charged moment, mutual hatred filling their faces before Megatron crushed his lips to Ratchet’s in a vicious kiss. Metal scraped against metal as the two mechs kissed violently. Ratchet’s fists slammed against Megatron’s chestplate as he jerked away. The silver mech snarled and shoved him into the wall so he couldn’t push away again.

“Let go of me!” Ratchet snarled as he found his hands pinned over his head and his body pinned beneath Megatron’s heavier metal form.

“No, I don’t think so,” the tyrant murmured with a sly grin, and kissed Ratchet again with the same sort of hurried viciousness. The gesture was meant to be degrading and mocking and it succeeded as Ratchet felt his spark shirk and sink with despair. The kiss inspired unwanted feelings and needs. Despite the hatred the two mechs shared, there was no denying the fact that they were tied in the most intimate and spiritual way two Cybertronians could be.

You could not voluntarily sever your connection with your bondmate, and the two were stuck with one another for all intents and purposes. Unfortunately, Megatron had the unfair advantage of knowing exactly where Ratchet was sensitive and the silver mech took advantage of that knowledge mercilessly.

He slowly released Ratchet’s arms when the Autobot stopped struggling and began to explore that dented and scored chassis with easy familiarity.

Ratchet snarled and socked him with a nasty right hook. "Get off of me!" he screamed and pounced on Megatron when he recoiled in surprise. Energon smeared the Decepticon's lip from where the thin metal of his lip components had torn beneath Ratchet's fist. Sadly, the Autobot was only a mere medic and was no match for Megatron no matter how much strength blind desperation granted him.

The Decepticon grabbed Ratchet and twisted him around in a move directly out of his Gladiatorial days and tossed him across the room and into the wall by his recharge berth. Ratchet hit the wall hard enough to buckle metal and offline his optics with the force of the blow. His servos spinning, the medic was momentarily hopeless.

Megatron took advantage of his disorientation and threw him onto the recharge berth. Straddling Ratchet's legs, Megatron had Ratchet shackled down with the energon shackles he'd welded onto the recharge berth the moment he'd returned to the Decepticon base with his Autobot prisoner in tow. Sure, some of his troops probably gossiped about his relationship with the medic behind his back but that didn't bother Megatron.

A reputation as being a sparkless monster who dominated and assaulted even an enemy medic was not a bad thing to have. It instilled fear and respect into his troops and that was all Megatron could ask for. Even Starscream had shown a hint of fear and wariness after the first time he caught a look at Megatron's prize 'bot.

"What the slag is wrong with you!?" Ratchet cried and fought against his bonds. Blue optics burned brightly with rage and disgust as he glared up at his captor. "You're glitched in the head!"

"Maybe I am, but if I am, it's because you made me this way," Megatron hissed. For a long moment, they just lay there glaring at one another.

"Don't blame me for your glitch-ridden CPU, I sure as Primus didn't build you."

"Why do you struggle so much?" Megatron's voice dropped to low and husky levels as he brushed his lips across Ratchet's with surprising gentleness. Energon smeared across the medic's lip components and he could taste it as his captor continued to breathe his insidious words. "It could be sweet. Very, very sweet," the Decepticon all but purred.

"Yes it could be, but it won't be." Ratchet snarled angrily and tried to ignore the way his spark trembled beneath this new assault.

Megatron smiled that strange little Mad Hatter's smile and stroked one hand down Ratchet's cheek briefly. "Yes, you're probably right. No sense in confusing things, hmmm?" The smile bled into another vicious smirk as ruby-red optics bore down into blue ones. "That way we both know where we stand."

"You're insane," Ratchet stated weakly. Confusion and outrage warred for dominance on his features until he was left with a quizzical, disturbed expression on his faceplates.

"Of course I am," Megatron readily agreed and leaned down to nip at the sensitive wires running beneath Ratchet's jawline. His ministrations were not particularly gentle but at least he wasn't trying to overtly hurt the mech.

His prisoner hissed softly as Megatron toyed with the sensitive wiring and unbidden pleasure started to radiate through his circuits. It just fueled Ratchet's anger and outrage and the medic's body reacted to the influx of emotion. The bitter irony was, the more upset and wound up he got, the more sensitive Ratchet's sensor net grew until each touch and scrape of metal threatened to overload the ambulance right then and there.

Drawing away from Ratchet, Megatron smirked down at his Autobot nastily. Dark fingers probed about Ratchet's chassis until he found the access port he was looking for. It was the brush of Megatron's fingers across the panel covering his interface port that snapped Ratchet out of his hazed thoughts.

The white mech's optics sharpened and he began to struggle anew beneath Megatron's heavier weight. "Get off of me, you piece of slag!" He snarled and fought until the already weakened and abraded metal of his wrists leaked energon and Megatron had to actually grab onto the berth in order to not be bucked off by the struggling medic.

"Stop that!" He punched Ratchet in the intakes, causing the Autobot to gasp for air and choke momentarily. Ratchet ceased his struggles however and just lay there gasping as his circulation system manually rebooted itself. Megatron used the few astroclicks of stillness to connect his data-cable to Ratchet's chassis. He did not connect Ratchet's to his own body however and thus selfishly shared the connection only with himself. Megatron groaned as he synced up with Ratchet's CPU and greedily began to devour all the pleasure and emotions he could harvest from the Autobot.

This way, he could plunder his prisoner for all the pleasure and passion without worrying about Ratchet being able to do the same. Sure, the experience wasn't as strong nor as intimate as it would have been in a full connection but it was enough for Megatron's selfish pleasures. He didn't want the Autobot to have such uncontrolled access to his mind and spark. With a strong enough program and enough time, a mech could offline their partner through a remote connection and that was not a risk the Decepticon leader was willing to take. Better to eke what pleasure he could through the experience rather than risk falling prey to the vengeful Autobot.

'Get out of my mind!' Ratchet screamed mentally and ran every firewall and intrusion program he had to try and block Megatron's connection as much as he could. It was like trying to hold back a flood with tissue paper and the Decepticon's probing kept breaking through quicker than Ratchet could patch his firewalls. ' This isn't how it's supposed to be!' The ambulance thought despairingly. Without realizing it, his memory banks were accessed and he brought up a much more pleasant memory of he and his lover Wheeljack sharing equally. For one brief instant, Ratchet's spark cried out in longing for the inventor but then he felt a wave of black hatred radiate from Megatron.

The Decepticon's optics burned with frenzied hatred as he glared down at Ratchet. "He dared!? I'll kill him with my own hands." Megatron had seen that memory and had felt the longing Ratchet held for his fellow Autobot. For the first time, Megatron experienced the hot, burning hatred of jealously for the engineer. Unwilling to fully examine his feelings, the Decepticon focused instead on the anger and hatred, the emotions he was familiar with. "You're mine and I'll kill anyone who touches what is mine!"

Surprise shown on Ratchet's faceplates when he found himself faced with the snarling and angry looking Decepticon. Then anger surpassed the shock and he glared right back. "You touch him and I'll kill you!" the medic snarled up at his captor.

"Hmph," the silver Decepticon scoffed disdainfully before a calculating look slowly stole across his face. "Fine, I won't touch your precious little engineer. But in return, you will stop fighting me and let me have what I want." Sanguine optics burned with an insane light, transforming the Decepticon into some kind of hellish monster in Ratchet's optics. "Give me everything and I'll let him live."

Ratchet shuddered and looked away, unable to meet those crazed optics any longer. Disgust roiled through him along with a healthy amount of fear. The thought of letting all his firewalls down and letting Megatron have full access to his CPU just made the energon run cold through his lines. Could there be anything worse then letting a 'con having so much control over his person?

Yes... there was. Wheeljack's death on his conscience because he didn't let this monster have his way.

"F-Fine, take what you want, you son of a glitch, but know you could only get my cooperation through underhanded tricks and force," he growled with disdain dripping from his voice.

Megatron snarled and sent a vicious spike across the data-cable connecting him to Ratchet. The medic cried out in pain and twitched feebly before grudgingly lowering all of his firewalls and protections carefully. Digging his fingers into the ruined armor of Ratchet's shoulders, Megatron began to dig deeper through Ratchet's psyche. Without the Autobot's interference, he found himself enjoying the experience so much more. The deepest reaches of Ratchet's mind were his playground.

'See, was this so hard?' he taunted silently over their link. 'All you had to do was stop struggling. I can even make this pleasurable for you.' To demonstrate, he triggered the pleasure sensors he came across which caused the Autobot to gasp and squirm beneath his weight.

'It's still rape no matter how you look at it.' Hatred colored Ratchet's mental tone and Megatron was presented with Ratchet's view on him. A wild-opticed, monstrous-looking mech with an evil grin and hatred etched into his features stared back at Megatron and he recoiled slightly in surprise.

His ardor dampened, he disconnected the data-cable and tucked it back into his chassis. "Hmph, pathetic, you're not even worth my time." To save face, the Decepticon roughed his prisoner up for a breem or so to keep Ratchet from thinking he'd won this round. Megatron's spark just wasn't in it and all he really wanted to do was get the slag as far away from the rebellious medic as he could. And that just made him more angry, so he did what any self-respecting Decepticon would do--he took that anger out on someone weaker than himself.

Once Ratchet lay bleeding energon and missing a few more pieces of armor, Megatron's temper had cooled enough to look at the situation more calmly. Ratchet was truly a sorry-looking sight with smears of energon across what was left of his armor and outer plating. Fitful showers of sparks were shooting from one arm assembly which Megatron could surmise was probably not a good thing. "Awww, poor pet. Looks like you could do with a visit to Hook," he said with a merciless grin. The Decepticon leader was all too aware of Hook's sadistic tendencies, especially towards Autobots. The Constructicon took especial pleasure in torturing medics like Ratchet and Megatron knew the session would bring far more pain before Hook granted him relief.

Maybe that would teach his pet Autobot to behave.

If Ratchet heard Megatron's insidious promise, he gave no indication. Warnings were going off everywhere, warning the medic that he was within astroclicks of slipping into stasis-lock and finally, his field of vision flickered out as his optics offlined themselves. Shortly afterward, his systems slipped into standby mode and he was in the blissful unawareness of stasis-lock.

Sneering, Megatron looked down at the blank face of his captive for a moment. He stooped down to cover Ratchet's slack lip components with his own but it just wasn't the same. The offline mech didn't fight him or struggle and it just… wasn't the same thing. Strangely disgusted with himself, Megatron crawled off the limp form and called Hook to his quarters.

When the surgeon entered, he grinned nastily at the sight of Ratchet's broken body.

“I want him back in one piece.” Megatron warned the gleeful Constructicon. But he made no move to stop Hook as he carelessly tossed Ratchet’s body over one shoulder and carried him in the direction of the medical facility. Once the crane and his vict… er, patient had left, Megatron summoned Soundwave to his quarters.

The large blue mech appeared silently and watched his liege with that impassive, inscrutable facemask.

“I want your Cassettes to hunt down and kill that Autobot nuisance Wheeljack. No, better yet, bring him to me alive so I can have the pleasure of deactivating him,” he amended with a vicious smile.

Soundwave gave no physical reaction but did dare voice a monotone protest. “Course of action: Inadvisable. Wheeljack’s inventions: Hold much potential.” The navy-blue mech droned.

Megatron’s optics narrowed menacingly. “Don’t argue. Just do it, Soundwave.”

“Yes, Lord Megatron.” The spymaster knew better than to argue with Megatron when he had that gleam in his optics and he bowed his head slightly in a submissive gesture.

“That will be all.” Megatron turned his attention to other things. Delicious things like planning how he would torture and deactivate that upstart engineer for one. Maybe he’d follow that lovely Terran tradition of cutting off the hands of a thief first. It was rather apt and would be a great way to start. Unbeknownst to Megatron, a twisted, manic grin curved his lip-components and that expression was enough to unnerve even Soundwave.

The tape-deck beat a hasty retreat and tried to wipe that image from his memory banks. Ever since Megatron had returned from his imprisonment with the Autobots, he had not been the same. Even his apparent obsession with the Autobot Ratchet paled in comparison to the instability his leader was showing these days. The spymaster made a mental note to watch Megatron more closely from here on out. If his leader truly was becoming too unstable to lead then it might be the opportunity Soundwave had been waiting for.

Or even better, maybe Starscream would view Megatron’s growing insanity as a weakness and the two of them would take themselves out, thus saving Soundwave the trouble of having to wrest the reins of power out of Megatron’s claws. Smiling grimly beneath his mask, Soundwave let himself into his quarters and ejected his Cassettes so they could work out a plan.