Friendship

How do you watch a friend destroy themselves? Ororo had known Remy it seemed forever now. She loved him as dearly as any other friend she had and perhaps paid him just a little more attention than the others. Why? It seemed he needed her just a little bit more, her shoulder to cry on? Her ear to en ten to the words Rogue never really cared about. It was truly a relationship spawned in hell. There was no real pleasure or happiness to be found there. Perhaps that was why he pursued it so desperately, because he couldn't ever really have her.mademade sense in a strange, if not twisted sort of way. Remy didn't think himself worthy, 'Ro knew that, he never had. So many, what he felt to be, evils in his life he didn't deserve friendship, trust, or love. Flirt just to see Jean blush, flirt with 'Ro just to see Rogue get angry, flirt with everyone because it was a part of his nature. Not that Rogue every really accepted that about him.

She couldn't say she blamed Rogue for accepting the Cajun's attentions. There was no other and he had seemed so very ardent. He had seemed like he really loved her. It had seemed like so much more than the poison that it really was for the both of them. The frustration of a love unrequited, the frustration of the lust uncompleted turned dark and so very dangerous. It seemed to be getting worse everyday that passed. Just the other day Rogue had been hurling the stone lions that sat just outside the front and back doors at Remy. He had flirted mercilessly with Jean just to see that peaches and cream complexion light a fiery crimson just like it always did. Even Scott seemed amused with it. He had chided her lightly about running away with the Cajun only brightening Jean's cheeks further. Rogue had not taken it for the good fun it had been. It had caused murder to flash in those deadly green eyes. Remy had come out unscathed as was his skill but 'Ro knew, he wouldn't always be able to duck that rage. How many personalities, psychotic, murderous lurked in the confused recesses of Rogue's mind? One day she wouldn't be able to stop herself and she would do something from which there was no return. That day was coming and there would be blood when it did.

Remy lay on 'Ro's bed watching her fitting a dress to the dummy near the window. It was one of his favorite perches. He liked seeing her so, calm. The worries of the team, the worries of being Storm forgotten for just the moment to put her mind to making something beautiful. She always had been good with a needle. He remembered when he first met her, trying to break into the same house as he, so young, so very skilled. Of course it hadn't really been the way she truly was. She was this magnificent creature that currently stood before him. The very line of her cheek was enough to make men of lesser constitution weep with just the mere thought. She was strong, beautiful, and simply possessing of a beautiful heart that cared about him in a way no one else really seemed to have the time for. If things had been different... yes, that was always the way. If things had been different he might have told her how he felt. He might have tossed her over his shoulder and run off to Milan, Madrid, Paris, or wherever else his heart told him to go that day. Not now though. Now his hands were bloodied, he was just a useless thief. Never good enough for a Goddess like Ororo Munroe.
"You know, I glad I not that dummy 'Ro. You dun woulda put a million holes in me." 'Ro grinned wickedly up at him.
"There is a reason why it isn't you up here you know. Besides, I hardly think that you fit Jean's measurements."

Something settled darkly in 'Ro's heart. She had a feeling. The tingle of it was crawling across her spine. Something was going to happen. Something dire would happen to Remy. She tried to push it away but it clung stubbornly, refusing to be ignored. Storm put down her needles and came to sit with Remy on the bed. She looked at him and bit her lip in quiettemptemplation trying to decide how to word what she was going to say. For the most part she had tried to keep her opinions of Rogue to herself. She played the part of the good friend but little else. She hadn't wanted to cause undo turmoil on the teams. That feeling though was nagging at her and she just couldn't keep it inside any longer. “Remy? Why are you with Rogue?”

‘Ro could feel the trepidation that hung on the other side of those words. It was the question Remy had been dreading. It was the one question he hoped she would never ask. He had always been safe from Rogue here. He had always been safe from the questions and thoughts that plagued him when he wasn’t here with ‘Ro. Now she had asked. He had never wanted to lie to her but was lying to her any worse than lying to himself the way he did everyday. “You know why I wid her cherie. I wid her because I love her.”

There he had said it to ‘Ro. The taste of the lie sat on his tongue and layered the back of his throat with rank bitterness. He tried to meet her cool blue gaze with that light tease of the scamp that loved so but barely fell for the way others did. But it seemed hollow even to himself. He waited for her to rail at him but only silence permeated the room.

Red on black, it had startled her at first but had come to seem so very natural. She might have given him the rougher side of her tongue at times but it hadn’t ever really been serious. This time it was, it was very serious. A light touch sent ‘Ro’s slender fingers skating through the thick iridescent maf snf snow atop her head before reaching to take Remy’s hand in hers, “I usually keep quiet on the matter of Rogue but I think something bad will happen sooner or later. I think it is only a matter of time before she does something we all will regret or even kill you. She doesn’t know her strength when she is angry and you don’t have the body to withstand it. What will she say when she finds out about the Morlocks? What will she say when she sees you here? What will she say when she finds out any great number of things which are sure to send her over the edge? You don’t deserve the way she treats you.”

It was true. Wasn’t that why he was there in the first place? He was with Rogue for penance for things he had done, which he felt he could never be forgiven. ‘Ro had forgiven him but he didn’t know how she could abide being anywhere near him when she knew what he was really like, the things that he had done. She didn’t think he deserved it? How was he fit for anything else? How would he ever be fit to do the one thing that he wanted most? He wanted to touch her as a lover, to hold her cherished and loved? No, his hands were too filthy to ever even think of touching her. Rogue treated him as he felt he should be treated. Was it love? He loved her in a way but never like he pretended.

The Cajun sighed softly and looked down at the soft warmed velvet honey of ‘Ro’s beautiful hand encompassing his. He loved the look of her hand against his, he always had but what difference did it make, the monster he was? He still hadn’t answered, he still had yet to utter one whisper. Instead, he just dutifully studied the smooth line of her fingers between his own. He looked at the way the light caught the buffed surface of her manicured nails. It seemed that if he had the power to stop time this, just this moment holding her hand would be enough. She would want an answer though and he knew it. “You right cherie, you always right. Dis here thief, never hold no candle to you.”

He knew that wasn’t any kind of answer and she would want more but it was all that he could come up with now. He had a feeling that death was near. It was a feeling he had more than once. He had it when he had fought Sabretooth. He had it when he had it when he realized how he had been used by Sinister, all for his own bloody selfishness. He had lived a long life for someone who had lived like he had. A small part of him welcomed the thought. It was the thought that it would be over to find peace. He knew however, it would hurt ‘Ro. He didn’t want her to suffer over the likes of him. He squeezed ‘Ro’s hand and leaned his head down to touch his forehead to her hand in a begging of benediction.

How do I help him? It was all Ororo could think. She could see that look of resignation on his face. He was ready to die. He almost wanted to die. As she looked back into those remarkable eyes she knew she was going to scream. The bowing of his head gave her the freedom she needed to take a deep breath. She lowered her head to rest her cheek on the top of his head, in a silent reverie of the confusion of emotion inside of her. What could she do? She tried to think of anything. This wasn’t the battlefield where her skill lay. This wasn’t a friend who had a little fret on how to get themselves motivated. This was something else altogether.

They stayed folded together like this for nearly an hour. Their thoughts kept to themselves, quiet within them. They weren’t to know there was one who listened in. A good many had been confused at how Emma Frost came to be an X-Men. She had been Hellfire Club and never seemed to have a true remorse for the evils she had committed there. Just one day she had possessed Bobby and the next she is teaching class. Not even the telepaths seemed to have a good answer for this. Just one day there she was.

lik liked the way she could just program the thoughts of the mighty X-Men. There were those who she couldn’t manipulate through power. Jean of course, but Jean was so simple to lead astray. She was an idiot girl who trusted those around her. She trusted Scott, Logan, Xavier, Ororo, everyone to a fault. When she was controlling those people, she was controlling Jean. Gambit however, he was much more difficult. He wasn’t easily controlled, that damned mutation of his. He was clever too, sometimes he looked at her like he knew what she was up to. She couldn’t have that could she?

She had watched the way that Gambit and Rogue played together. It was ludicrous really. If he was out to kill himself, she was sure she could help him along that road if he wished. A few planted ideas in Rogue’s head and the gaas aas afoot as it were.was was all coming down to timing. Emma had just gotten rid of the resistance. Xavier, Scott, and Jean were on some political mutant idiocy. Logan was off in Canada as always. Kurt was off in Europe. It was perfectly brilliant. Warren was so completely in her thrall. He would never argue with whatever thoughts she placed in his mind, the same was true for Bobby, Kitty, all that were left. Now seeing this little disgustingly sweet scene between Remy and ‘Ro, it gave her the final piec amm ammunition that she needed. Now, just wait until Ororo is gone and it was time.

‘Ro had things to do. She had some errands to run. Remy had a date with Rogue. Ororo hugged Remy close as they parted at her door. She was terrified to leave him on his own. She was worried about what would happen while she was away from him. She couldn’t follow him around all day though could she? That would be just as bad for him as her leaving. ‘Ro headed out for the day to do her weekrranrrands. Remy, headed down to his room to get ready for his date.

It seemed like an exercise in futility, showering, doing his hair, picking out something not so ripped up for dinner in a nice restaurant. It would end in a screaming match it always did. It was expected though and he would do what he could to keep things quiet for a little while. Sometimes he started it, sometimes she did but it almost always turned out the same. How long ago had he realized the only things they had in common were that they both were from below the Mason Dixon line and that they both liked good food? It had been a long while ago. Remy pulled on his boots and then his trench coat and headed downstairs.

His heart leapt in his chest. There was a welcoming party down in the foyer. That was never good. Rogue stood at the forefront. There was something about this grouping that wasn’t natural. There was something about it that reeked of orchestration. Emma, Warren, Bobby, Rogue, his friends were there. At least he had thought they were his friends. They all bore this same look. It was a look of unquestioned rage. Except Emma of course, there was just … self satisfaction. He was just beginning to wonder why when Rogue spoke up, “How could you?”

Oh no, there was definitely something wrong. Where was Ororo, Jean, Scott, Kurt? It seemed the rug had been pulled from beneath him. Warren struck out at him as he descended into the murus tus throng, “Murderer.” It was all he heard as his friends attacked him with words, a few fists. He heard Rogue say something about being a mutant killer, the Morlocks? Who had told her? He knew it hadn’t been ‘Ro. She had been the only person he had ever told. He was equally sure Sinister hadn’t shown up on the front doorstep to impart this information. It was all he really had time to think about before Rogue had him. Her arms were tight, constricting as she flew viciously through the sky with him. He was sure his ribs were breaking from that harsh grip. He could barely breathe, the wind chapped his face and dried his eyes. It was so very cold. It was stealing what little breath he was able to sneak.

By the time he was on solid ground he could barely think. There was white everywhere. It was so, cold, so very cold. He could see Rogue, hear her words, so cruel. He hadn’t meant it to happen that way. He didn’t know. He tried to tell her but she called him a baby killer and flew off. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know anything at all but pain. Had she left him here to die? It seemed so. It was sheer, bloody-mindedness that pulled him up out of the snow and made his legs move. He wasn’t sure why he was walking or where he was walking. He just walked. He couldn’t think about why his friends had betrayed him. He couldn’t think about that look of satisfaction in Emma’s eyes. He could only think about one thing. He could only utter that one name as he walked through those icy wastes looking for any kind of shelter, “’Ro, ‘Ro, ‘Ro…”

Ororo came back from town, packages in her arms as she scaled the stairs to her roost. She deposited her bags and boxes on her bed and went down to the kitchen to get something to nibble on before dinner. There was something wrong. She could feel it in her bones. She could hear someone laughing. It wasn’t a healthy kind of laughter it was cold and almost maniacal. She followed the sound to find Bobby sequestered in a dark corner muttering about killing the murderer. A cold settled into ‘Ro’s bones. “Bobby? What are you talking about?”

She took him by his shoulders and shook him. It took a few minutes before his eyes met hers. He told her what had happened, that Remy had been responsible for the mutant massacre. He told her that Warren and Rogue had taken Remy to kill him. Wasn’t it wonderful? He asked her again and again wasn’t it wonderful?

There was something other at work here. Ororo was no fool. She knew manipulation when she saw it. She had a suspicion nagging at the back of her mind but she dared not think it, not yet. Not until she found out where Warren and Rogue had taken Remy. She couldn’t let this be the end of him, she couldn’t. With dark resolve, ‘Ro climbed the stairs to find Warren. Never before had she thought so seriously about killing a fellow X-Men.

Without knocking she barged into Warren’s room. Without a heartbeat spared she had Warren against the far wall, his wings splayed out behind him. “Where is he?” She couldn’t remember how the knife got into her hand and against Warren’s throat. Warren looked positively panicked for just a moment before that distance, the same distance that Bobby had in his eyes settles into Warren’s. “He’s going to die for what he did ‘Ro. He’s a murderer and deserves no less.”

Ororo dug the cold steel of the knife into the deli fle flesh of Angel’s throat in a little more. It was just enough to draw blood, enough to let him see she was serious. “If you don’t tell me right now, I WILL KILL YOU. Make no mistake, if he dies because of you I will come back and kill you myself. Now tell me instantly, where is he?”

She didn’t mention he was Remy’s friend and it was a betrayal. All she knew was time was all that mattered. Warren hadn’t accompanied Rogue the entire way but he knew where she had taken him. “Antarctica, she took him to Antarctica.”

His breath was short and measured trying not to bring the blade any closer to him. He was able to breathe again as ‘Ro pulled the blade away and ran out the window, taking to the skies. A bolt of lightning fused the mechanism on the window so Warren could not follow. Antarctica was massive how would she find him in all of that? She didn’t know but she knew she had to try. She couldn’t let Remy go without even trying. She flew as fast as a tornado could take her. It was not her usual means of travel but time was her enemy now.

Remy’s feet and hands had gone numb hours ago, or was it days? He wasn’t sure. He just knew he could barely remember what it was like to be warm. He had found an alcove the wind had cut into the rock. It wouldn’t have been any warmer than the rest. It would have been like a refrigerator but for his power. He had charged the very rock beneath him to give offt. Tt. There was something wrong with him and he knew it. The fever would come and go. He would slip into delirium and come back only to see this dire reality. Sometimes the coughs would wrack him so badly the oxygen would leave his brain entirely and he would pass out. He knew he was dying.

Why hadn’t he at least told ‘Ro how he felt. She would have at least known. He knew he wasn’t good enough for her but he should have told her. It was so hard to breathe now. He was geg weg weaker. The heat was getting less. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it going forever. Maybe if he charged his teeth, he could make it quick and painless. Not yet though, not until he simply couldn’t take it anymore. He had to keep saying her name. He wanted her name on his lips as he died. He had seen her a million times in his delirium. Her coming and telling him she loved him, her arms holding him warmly. He would come around to this frozen tomb. He had to hold on just a little longer, just long enough to say it one more time, “’Ro, ‘Ro, ‘Ro, ‘Ro, ‘Ro…”

Storm’s mind was numb, she had been flying around that frozen desert for days now, six to be precise. She was loosing hope but she couldn’t give up. She herself hadn’t eaten, barely drank anything at all. The land had all long since melded into itself, the landmarks just sliding away. Her eyes had long since passed tired. She wasn’t sure she would see him if he stood right before her any longer but she couldn’t stop. Then there was a flash, just a little flash of pink. Had she been wrong, had she been hallucinating? She circled back and there it was again. She landed down, she must have flown over this very spot a thousand times but this time she saw the glow from within. She was a lot weaker than she should be but sheer force of will carried her inside on weakened legs. There he was. Was that him? Goddess he looked so thin, so very frail. His red on black eyes turned infusnfusion as she stood there, recognition.

Her arms were around him again. He had come to welcome the delirium. It was at least a little escape. What? Wait this was different. It had never taken him outside before. It had never taken him into the sky. “Stormy? Is dat really you?”

His voice was shattered and bloody, broken and rough. It pulled at her heart and she hugged him a little more closely, hoping beyond hope to extend her immunity to temperature to him. “Yes,” her voice was trembling weak and worn through and through. “Yes, it’s me.”

Ororo didn’t know what had happened while she had been gone. She didn’t know that Kitty had escaped the control of Emma and had been able to sneak Bobby from the mansion. She didn’t know that they had been able to get Jean, Scott, Xavier and Kurt back to the mansion. Nor did she know that Emma had long since been dispensed of and things were being brought back to normal. Somehow she had known that Emma had been behind it all. She knew it when she stopped to think about it. It even made a little sense. Remy had been able to fend off Emma influence. Still, not knowing how things stood at home, there was no where else she could think to go. She flew on autopilot back towards the mansion.

Everything went in a blur, Hank had Remy in his arms and ‘Ro over one shoulder as he bounded down the hall towards the Medical Lab to tend to the pair. Jean was there holding ‘Ro’s hand as Hank made his prognosis of double pneumonia. If Ororo had been one hour later then Remy would have been dead without a doubt. Laying in a bed beside Remy, Storm held his hand while Jean held hers and told her how Kurt, Scott, herself, and Emma had fought in the garden. She had been using them all to play her own little sick game. Jean kissed ‘Ro on the head and let her sleep.


Hank wasn’t optimistic for either of them. Ororo had starved herself and she was dehydrated almost to death. Remy one the other hand, his body had been worn to the bone and beyond. His bones broken, his lungs filled. It would just be a waiting game to see if either one of them pulled through it. It was a dark day in the mansion. Bobby and Warren had to come to grips with their betrayal of Gambit. Even thought it had not been intentional for either of them, it hit them both hard. To know that it was so easy to be taken oved had have their morals and very minds twisted. It was Bobby however, who found himself in the medlab everyday, just waiting for Remy to show some signs of recovery. Kurt was also a frequent visitor. Though he had not been there for the event with Rogue. He still felt betrayed by it. More than any other he had tried to befriend Rogue. Now it seemed that the personalities in her head had more control over her than Emma had over Bobby and Warren. The Rogue he had first known would have never done what it was that she had done.

Everyone waited with baited breath for the pair to awaken. While Kurt sat beside Ororo, it was she who opened her eyes first. She gazed up at Kurt curiously before finding her tongue, “Kurt? How is Remy.” Immediately Ororo tried to sit up but found her aching, swimming head forcing herself back down into the bed.

Kurt leaned forward and eased ‘Ro back, “Shh, it’s alright. He’s sleeping peacefully now.” He wasn’t sure he should tell her the truth of the matter, nor was he sure that keeping it from her helped anything at all. How were you to tell a dear friend that the man she loved minot not make it. Not that they had ever spoken the words to one another. Both thinking the other would never love them. It was downright foolishness coming from two of the more intelligent people he knew. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to find the right words. He gave a small silent prayer that God woulide ide his tongue. “But first, drink…” He held up the plastic tumbler filled with water and eased the straw towards ‘Ro’s lips. The water smelled of ginger and mint. She took a took a tiny sip. It was refreshing and very lightly sweet…her own recipe. “’Ro’s Remedy” is what she had called it and had served it herself to many a friend suffering from dehydration or an upset stomach, far better for you then Gatorade. While her IV re-hydrated her body, the little folk tincture soothed her mouth and throat.

“’Ro?” Kurt began again, setting the cup down after ‘Ro had managed to swallow a few sips. “He loves you, you know.”

“He was in love with Rogue.” ‘Ro whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

“No.” Kurt touched her face, “He was addicted with punishing himself. He was…*is*…in love with you.”

‘Ro opened her eyes and shook her head slightly. Kurt continued, finding the words that he had held back saying to the two of them for so long. “He pursued Rogue because he couldn’t have her, not truly. No one can…she is untouchable. He thinks himself unworthy for the one he truly loves. Gambit thinks he is worth nothing, so he chases that which he can’t have and that which causes him nothing but pain. He was with Rogue because he thought he couldn’t have you.” Kurt paused, “and I know you love him as well.”

Tears well in ‘Ro’s weary eyes, “I do, but…” She trailed off at Kurt’s sorrowful expression. “It’s..” She laid her hand on the glass that separated her from Remy.

“It is what?” Kurt smiled gently, “it is nothing. Tell him, ‘Ro.”

“I..” ‘Ro’s eyes betrayed her and a single tear escaped through closed lashes.

“Bitte. Tell him.“ Kurt’s tone was pleading. ‘Ro nodded. Satisfied, Kurt slipped off her gurney and lightly kissed her forehead.


It seemed to be an eternity Ororo lay watching Remy’s nearly motionless form. It was only the machine aided rise and fall of his chest that belied death. There was no question to heart or mind of her love for him. She had known forever, it seemed that she loved him. It had been hell watching him with Rogue, knowing she could have treated him as he deserved to be. He was a good man, a man that did all he could to make things right for those he loved and indeed everyone. She had kept her feelings to herself. It seemed now that it had been very wrong for her to do so. Had Remy loved her after all, all this time?

Remy dreamed of death, of pain, of the cold that had seemed to have become such a part of him in that shivering hell that Rogue had left him to. When ‘Ro had come it had been a dream to truth and now he could feel her beside him. Even with his eyes closed, even in his dreams he could feel her proximity. Light beamed incessant intrusion to his tightly lidded eyes. He parted them to see a giant wall of blue hovering over him, changing his I.V. bag. Hank noticed the Cajun looking up at him, “Stars and garters, just have a look at what we have here. A Cajun in a bottle.”

Hank grinned as he tapped the plastic that surrounded Remy keeping his oxygen pure for his still struggling lungs. Remy gave a tired smile. He never thought he would be quite so happy to see that smug grin. “How you doin? I tink I might be a little sick.”

Hank shook his head and adjusted his glasses on the end of his nose. In all honesty he wasn’t sure he would ever see Remy awake again. His oxygen levels had been dangerously low. That he was awake now was a giant step in the right directions. Those oxygen levels were one their way up too and that was even better news. One lung was mostly clear and the other had quieted considerably. Ororo was looking much better as well. She had been awake and speaking with Kurt, Jean, as well as the Professor popping in to see her just this morning. As a point of fact he would be able to cut her loose tomorrow. Somehow though, he didn’t’ think she would be willing to go just like that.

“So, tell me da truth. Whatchu tink, is ‘Ro okay?” His first thought for his savior and never for himself. It seemed it was always the way. After a moment, Remy noticed ‘Ro sleeping near him, the entire area littered with flowers. Apparently, Rogue’s sentiment was not shared by all. Hank explained to him that it had been Emma controlling everyone. Both Warren and Bobby were broken up about it. Warren hadn’t even wanted to come down to deliver his flowers for fear that Gambit hated him. Bobby had spent a few minutes with the unconscious man begging his forgiveness. All of this came as a surprise to Remy but it was welcome.

“As for Storm, she’s quite the fighter. She damn near killed herself for you. Not that I know why, you have no sense of fashion at all.” Hank smiled with just a hint of mischief.

Leave it to you, to make a molehill out of a mountain. “Why don’t you go back to sleep. It’ll do your lungs good all that rest.”

Hank departed his post after giving Remy the once over for the time being. Gambit’s eyes turned to look at the sleeping visage of Ororo.

There was a commotion brewing in the hallway, suddenly Kurt’s normally soft voice was raised in anger, his German accent harsh and pronounced. He was shouting.

“Not my business!? Wie trauen Sie! How dare you! He almost died! He would have if not for ‘Ro. You call him your boyfriend, eh? That is not love!”

“He killed those mutants, Kurt. What ah did was wrong but-“ Rogue’s shocked voice trembled at Kurt’s outburst.

“I was at the Mutant Massacre, Rogue. Did you forget? You were not. I saw what happened there. He had been manipulated by Sinister and tried to save those he could. For one who once was a member of the Brotherhood and fought along side Sabertooth, your words stink of hypocrisy. Verdammen, Rogue, how many voices are in your head now?” Kurt’s tone was growing dangerous.

“Ah can get by you, Kurt. You can’t stop me from seeing him. He’s mah boyfriend. You just need to shut yer trap, Nightcrawler.”

“My codename now, eh? Make me less human for when you try to kill me? For you will have to, liebling, if you think you are going through that door. “

“Kurt, you don’t understand!”

“No, I do not understand. Perhaps you can explain it to me. Warren won’t even come in here, he is so stricken by what happened. Yet you waltz in as though you’ve done nothing. You abandoned him to die!”

“I love him, Kurt.”

“Love? Well, you did a fine job of loving him. You very nearly loved him to death. I’m not even talking about Antarctica, I’m speaking of the entire sham of your relationship with him. How many times have you hit him? How many? Knowing full well you are so very much stronger then he is? They have a term for that you know. Ehemannklopfer! Want to know what that is in English? Look it up. You’ve done very well for yourself, I must applaud your ability to love him. He is broken, not only in body but in spirit as well. Good work!” Kurt started clapping. Rogue made a startled sob, and Kurt’s voice lowered and softened a bit, “Rogue, you need help. Desperately. I understand you were being controlled by Emma but-“

“I wasn’t being controlled by Emma.” Rogue’s voice was cold, then it shattered into tears as she turned and fled. There was a shocked gasp from Kurt, and then silence.

Remy was shocked, not just to hear the usually dulcet tone of Kurt raised in such anger but the subject matter itself. It hadn’t been Emma who had been behind Rogue’s attempted murder. It had just been her all along. There were so many voices and personalities in her head it was impossible to know just who it was who was in control of Rogue any longer. What was it that Rogue was actually like? Had he ever really known the real her? Had anyone ever really known the real her? It was impossible to know now wasn’t it? After she had absorbed Cody she had ceased to be her after all. He had known it to a certain extent all along. Sometimes she would be sweet and almost normal. Then other times she would rail and scream at him for the tiniest of reasons. Sometimes she needed none at all just striking out at him simply because it was noon that day.

idn’idn’t love Rogue, he knew he didn’t. He was just as sure he never really had. Rogue had been crazy, true enough but was he any better for using her to work out his own penance? How much had he contributed to that insanity that had come to find it’s home so easily within her? He didn’t know. He was tempted to the thought that it was just him who was the poison. That he would only poison ‘Ro the way he had poisoned Rogue. There was just a little bit too much reason, that afternoon to follow that path. Rogue had always been like that and he had just been too much the martyr to see anything else. Ororo had never been anything at all to him but a good friend. Maybe that was still all there was but he had to know. He had promised himself as he lay dying in that icy womb that he would tell her how he felt he just had to know. Kurt had been right. He had only told him a million times how he felt, how he should tell Stormy. Now it seemed right. Now it seemed imperative.

It seemed the weeks of treatment for his lungs were years. Ororo had been deemed healthy and cut loose. Of course, as suspected she didn’t really go anywhere but to her room for a change of clothes and a nice long shower. She couldn’t leave Remy, not until she knew he would be alright. She lay beside his bed and just held his hand during the excruciating process of his healing. She would sleep there only leaving occasionally for short periods of time. Her heart ached just to see him laying there so thin and worn. Then those red on black eyes opened and he smiled up at her. There she was, waiting by his side, as always. Her fingers wrapped so lovingly around his. That look of pleasure in her eyes just to see him awake and responding to her was almost enough to believe what everyone told him of her love for him. It seemed far too good, too wonderful to ever be anything that would happen to him. After Bella Donna who wanted to kill him, and Rogue who wanted the same thing apparently, it seemed impossible to have this Goddess, actually love him.

Hank had told her that the worse was over and now it was just a matter of annoying time letting go it’s hold on the Cajun. It had been nearly two months but finally there was a sign of light at the end of the tunnel. Ororo sat daintily on the edge of the bed afraid to jostle Remy too much. “I have some good news for you. Well, some good news and some bads. Is. I think you will like the good very much and the bad… well, we shall just have to see about that.”

Remy looked a little worried, “Uh-oh, whatchu talking about Stormy? I don like da sound of dat der.”

‘Ro smiled and tightened her grip on his hand just a little, “Well, Hank said that you can go home. However, he wants someone there to watch out for you. So, I am going to move you into the attic with me so I can keep an eye on you. That is assuming you are agreeable to being set free.”

Just the sound that he was going to be off of I.V. and out of the medlab
and this bed was more than enough to thrill him through to his bones. Then that he would be laying in ‘Ro’s bed with her caring for him, it seemed the most wonderful day of his life. “Oh cherie, you know I am. Dis thief be so happy to… what da bad news?”
“Well, it isn’t really that bad but I am sure to you, it would be better to have a limb lopped off. Hank said you have to be on soft food. So, bland oatmeal, soup, Jello, and the like.”

Remy rolled his eyes dramatically and pretended to faint into his pillow. He opened his eyes and leaned a little closer to ‘Ro a moment later. “It okay. As long as I be out of dis here bed. It will be alright.”

He didn’t say because she would be there with him. He let his meaning hang in the depths of the red and black gaze that held the endless depths of her own blue one.

It took the better part of an hour to get him all settled up into ‘Ro’s roost. Kurt had taken the initiative and moved all of Remy’s things up to the Roost even before ‘Ro had decided to bring him up to stay with her. He had just smiled and nodded sagely when Ororo had asked him about it. It had saved her a lot of trouble. It allowed her all of her time to look after Remy.

Settled finally in the down goose down of Ororo’s pillows, behind the filmy curtains of her bed, Remy watched her fussing with his things. He couldn’t help but allow his eyes to linger on that form that moved with such an easy grace and simple elegance as she did such mundane tasks. She picked up his many trench coats and went about finding a place for them in her closets. Most of the other things were already put away. When she had all of the things put away as she liked she moved over to take a gentle perch on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Gambit ran a languid hand through his thick and at the moment entirely unruly hair with a smile and a sigh, “Oh, I tink dat I entirely too lucky to have such a Goddess to look after me.”

He knew that wasn’t really wanted to say. He wanted to hold her and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to know if it was at all possible that she felt the same way about him. He knew he had no right to have a woman like her love him. “Ro, I need to talk to you.”

Looking somewhat alarmed, she moved a little closer reaching out to take his hand. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No, no dere is notin wrong cherie. I just need to tell you sumptin been on my mind for a long time. It was what kept me going dat dere whole time in dat icy waste. I tought about you. I tought about how tings were wid Bella. I tought about how tings were wid Rogue. I knew dat when I was wid Bella dere was only one ting in dis world dat I wanted even do I never seen it’s face. I knew that when I was Rogue dere was only one ting in dis world dat I wanted. All I wanted in dis world is you. Even before I knew you, dat what I wanted. I know it probably too much for me to ever hope dat you could ever feel da same for an ole tief like me but I felt dat you should know, you are what kept me alive when dis ole body didn’t feel like taking one more breathe. It’s you ‘Ro, always has been. ”

Almost afraid to look up, he peered up at that lovely face. He knew there was no chance that she felt the same but … he couldn’t help the tension in his belly. It nearly made him sick with wanting. What could she possibly say to such a ridiculous outburst? Would she push him out of her life? Would she just laugh? How silly did it sound to her?

‘Ro opened her mouth to say something only to close it again a moment later. All this time she had held that secret so close to her heart only to now hear it echoed aloud to her own mind. He loved her. It was true, he loved her. lwaylways had? There were a million questions floating through her mind. Those red on black eyes were peering at her curiously, she could worry over them later, now she needed to say something. She couldn’t think of a thing to say though. Instead she leaned forward and touched her lips to his ever so softly. Just a breathe of a kiss, slowly growing in intensity. I love you tripped from her slightly parted lips, the taste of saline against his lips. Tears? Hers or his she couldn’t begin to say. Still weak arms closed around her and held her close to his heart. “’Ro, I didn’t know. Will you…”

Her kiss stilled his words before she lay her head against his chest. It seemed impossible to them both. Coming through hell to find the heaven you were waiting for had been with you all along.