Kiss me, Kurt!

Kiss me, Kurt!
By Lord Evil

Disclaimer:I don't own any of these characters.

SCENE - Prof. Xavier's Office.

[Professor Xavier is reading a file labled 'Frost, Emma' when Logan and Storm enter. He puts the file on the desk.]

LOGAN
"You wanted to see us, Professor?"

XAVIER
"Yes, we have a new student arriving today..."

LOGAN
"I'll go warm up the X-Jet and..."

XAVIER
"Oh, there's no need for that! She arranged her own transportation."

LOGAN
"She?"

XAVIER
"Her limo should arrive this afternoon."

LOGAN
"Limo!? How old is this girl?"

XAVIER
"She's about 16, but very mature for her age."

LOGAN
"...and loaded, apparently!"

[Logan grabs the file off the desk and flips through it.]

LOGAN
"She's rich, cute, and she has Jean's powers, except for the TK. I see trouble brewing."

STORM
"What are you talking about?"

LOGAN
"Jean's the alpha wolf of those rugrats down in the danger room, this Emma girl is the frisky newcomer. The alpha wolf has to defend her position or end up at the end of a toothpick!"

STORM
"I hardly think this applys to this situation, Logan."

LOGAN
"I know what I'm talking about! I've seen it happen many times!"

XAVIER
"Jean is not going to get jealous, she's far too mature for such childish behavior!"

LOGAN
"She's also a girl, Chuck! Girls can be dangerous when defending what they think is theirs!"

[Logan leaves.]

SCENE - FRONT OF XAVIER SCHOOL

[A silver limosine pulls into the driveway. An attractive light-blonde haired girl wearing white designer clothes gets out.]

EMMA
"Driver! You can unload my luggage here. I'm sure someone will show up to bring it in."

[Scott pokes his head out the front door.]

EMMA
"You there! Will you bring these inside?"

[Scott is stunned when he catches sight of Emma.]

SCOTT
"Wow."

EMMA
"Are you just going to stand there with that stupid look on your face, or are you going to give me a hand with my luggage?!"

SCOTT
"No, I'll get it!"

[Scott starts grabbing luggage and hauling it inside.]

SCENE - INSIDE THE MAIN ENTRANCE.

[Jean is walking down the stairs when she sees Scott dragging in a huge amount of white leather luggage.]

JEAN
"Scott! What's all this?"

SCOTT
"Herroyalhignessesmatchedluggage!"

JEAN
"What?"

[Scott puts down the luggage.]

SCOTT
"I said her..."

[Emma interupts Scott by handing him a five-dollar bill.]

SCOTT
"Huh?"

EMMA
"Thank you for helping me with my bags, Scott. Do you get it all in one trip? You must be very strong!"

SCOTT
"Well, I do work out now and then..."

JEAN
"Ah"
"

EMMA
"You must be Jean Grey."

JEAN
"Emma Frost, I presume?"

EMMA
"Yes. Scott, would you be a dear and tell me where Professor Xavier's office is?"

SCOTT
"It's right down the hall to the left."

EMMA
"Thank you again, Scott. Maybe I can return the favor some evening?"

[Emma gives Scott a kiss on the cheek. Jean gets an angry look on her face.]

EMMA
"Now, Jean. I don't think that's even physically possible!"

[Emma walks down the hall. Scott turns beet red as Jean glares at him.]

SCENE - LIVING ROOM

[Scott is relaxing on the couch when Kurt teleports and crashes onto the couch. startling Scott.]

SCOTT
"Hey, Kurt! Watch where you're 'porting next time!"

KURT
"Oh, sorry!"

[Jean walks in with a soda and sits in a chair.]

KURT
"So I heard you saw the new girl? Is she really cute?"

SCOTT
"Ixnay on the irlgay!"

KURT
"Huh?"

JEAN
"He's trying to tell you not to mention the new girl in front of me."

SCOTT
"Sorry, Jean! I forgot you knew Pig Latin!"

JEAN
"Scott, 4th graders know Pig Latin."

KURT
"All this talk about swine is making me hungry! I'm going to get something from the fridge."

[Kurt teleports away. Jean walks off with her soda. Kurt 'ports back onto the couch with a bratwurst. Scott flips the channel to MTV.]

KURT
"What's this show? Who's that girl with the glasses?"

SCOTT
"Daria, and Daria. It's a show about a teenage girl who makes sarcastic comments about the menutia of pop culture and ridicules the idiots who persistently bother her."

KURT
"Like Rogue?"

SCOTT
"Except she's not a mutant."

KURT
"That would be weird if Daria was a mutant and we had to team up with her and her friends."

SCOTT
"That sounds like a dorky fanfic to me."

[Prof. X and Emma enter.]

XAVIER
"Ms. Frost, this is Kurt Wagner, and I believe you already met Scott Summers."

[Kurt gets up and pol polietly to Emma.]

KURT
"Gutantag, mein fraulien!"

[Kurt then kisses Emma on the hand.]

EMMA
"Well, it's nice to know a few people here have proper manners. Professor, I was wondering if someone could show me around the school?"

XAVIER
"I don't see why not."

KURT
"I'll do it, Professor!"

XAVIER
"Allright, Kurt. Give Ms. Frost a tour of the school."

SCENE - Outside the Danger Room

KURT
"This is the Danger Room. This is where Logan tries to kill us on a regular basis!"

LOGAN
"Ahem!"

[Logan appears from inside the Danger Room.]

KURT
"Um, hi Logan! I was just just showing Emma the Danger Room."

LOGAN
"Well, the other kids are having a session right now, but I could give you a demonstration later.


[Logan hands Emma a package.]

EMMA
"What's this?"

LOGAN
"That's your uniform. You'll wear this when you're training."

[Emma opens the package and pulls out...a black spandex uniform with grey piping.]

EMMA
"Do you seriously expect me to wear this?"

LOGAN
"Yep."

EMMA
"Well, I'm not wearing this bloody monstrosity! It's so dreary and drab!"

LOGAN
"Well, if you get another uniform, I'll let you wear it!"

EMMA
"Do you promise?"

LOGAN
"I give you my word, kid!"

SCENE - BAYVILLE MALL, ENTRANCE

KURT
"I've never seen anyone stand up to Logan like that!"

EMMA
"Well, fasion is something I feel very strongly about."

KURT
"So, you're going to get a uniform here?"

EMMA
"Well, first we're going to have some latte's at Starbuck's."

KURT
"I didn't know Bayville Mall had a Starbuck's?"

EMMA
"Every mall has a Starbuck's. See, right over there. Let's go!"

[Emma walks into the Starbuck's. Kurt is staring at the Starbuck's.]

KURT
"I could have sworn I didn't see that there before."

EMMA
"Come on, Kurt!"

[Kurt walks into the Starbuck's. A stony-faced old man behind the counter squints at Kurt when he sees him.]

OLD MAN
"May I take your order...Sir?"

KURT
"Ahhh! Uh, sorry! Uhm, I'll have a double-mocha latte."

[Emma pays the man behind the counter. Kurt sits down at a table with Emma.]

KURT
"Is it just me or does that guy look a lot like The Tall Man from 'Phantasm'?"

EMMA
"I guess. Maybe a little."

KURT
"I keep waiting to hear him say..."

OLD MAN
"Booooyyyyy!!!!!!"

[Kurt ducks under the table.]

KURT
"Ahhhhhh!"

OLD MAN
"Your latte...Sir!"

[Kurt sheepishly takes his latte.]

KURT
"So, what do you like to do for fun, Emma?"

EMMA
"Well, I like playing chess. I find it intellectualy stimulating. Do you know how to play?"

KURT
"I've played with myself a lot. No, wait! I mean, I've played chess on computer! I never could find anyone else who really wanted to play!"

EMMA
"It's a lot better when you have a partner. We'll have to play sometime. Is there a chess club at the high school?"

KURT
"Yes, but they're very exclusive. Although they always have an even number of boys and girls. Some guy named Shaw acts as the president..."

EMMA
"It is just me, or does something smell really good?"

KURT
"They have a cookie place over there! They must be baking some cookie s ors or something."

EMMA
"No, it's not that. I just can't put my finger on it!"

[Emma takes off her jacket.]

EMMA
"Is it getting warm in here?"

KURT
"Maybe we'd better go. That guy is giving me the creeps!"

SCENE - BAYVILLE MALL

[Emma and Kurt walk into a costume shop.]

KURT
"I thought this store was only open around Halloween."

[Freddy Kruger pops up from behind the counter.]

KURT
"Aaaahhhh!"

FREDDY
"Sorry kid, didn't mean to scare you. I was just getting ready for the big horror covention tonight!"

KURT
"Horror convention? Thank god! For a second I thought I was going crazy when I saw The Tall Man over at the Starbuck's..."

FREDDY
"There's no Starbuck's at this mall, kid!"

KURT
"No, it's right over there!"

[Kurt tries to point out the Starbuck's he had just came from, but it is no longer there.]

KURT
"But, but, t-that's impossible!"

[Emma purchases a white cape. She and Kurt leave.]

KURT
"A white cape? I thought you were going to get a uniform."

EMMA
"Oh, I am. This is just part of it. What I need now is at a different store. That latte must of had something in it, I feel so...energised!"

SCENE - XAVIER'S OFFICE

[Professor X is drinking a cup of tea Log Logan barges in.]

XAVIER
"Logan. Is something wrong?"

LOGAN
"Yeah, it's this Emma girl. Chuck, she insulted the uniform I gave her!"

XAVIER
"Oh, I see."

LOGAN
"I told her, if she can find something better, I'd let her wear that for training."

XAVIER
"Well, Kurt used his old circus uniform, so I see no problem with a student designing their own uniform!"

LOGAN
"She's got an real attitude problem, Chuck!"

XAVIER
"It's her first day, Logan! She needs time to adjust. Where is she n"
"

LOGAN
"She and the elf went to the mall."

SCENE - BAYVILLE MALL, VICTORIA'S SECRET

[Emma drags a nervous Kurt into Victoria's Secret.]

KURT
"Maybe it would be better if I wait outside."

EMMA
"No, please stay! I mean, just wait here. I'm going to look around."

[Emma walks around selecting items while Kurt sits in a chair. He looks around, and then feels nervous and grabs something to read. He drops it when he realizes it was a catalog for lingerie.]

EMMA
"Oh, Kurt!"

KURT
"Yes?"

[Kurt is pulled into a changing room by Emma.]

KURT
"Oh my god, you're..."

EMMA
"Keep your voice down! Now which do you think is better? This or this?"

KURT
"Uh, uhm, I don't know! T-they both look nice, I-I suppose."

EMMA
"I like the boustier myself. What about this thong, does it show too much?"

KURT
"Yes! God yes!"

EMMA
"Well, it doesn't go with the garter belt. Ah, this looks good, though!"

KURT
"I have to get out of...oops! Sorry!"

EMMA
"Oooh, Kurt! Why don't you just lie back and relax."

KURT
"How can I relax, when you're totaly naked!"

EMMA
"I am not totaly naked! I'm wearing a garter belt!"

KURT
"But, that only enhances your naked..ness!"

EMMA
"Do you like what you see, Kurt?"

KURT
"Y-y-yes! But I, um, we need to get back to the mansion!"

EMMA
"Hmmm, well, I suppose. I'll just go pay for these. Let's get out of here!"

KURT
"How can I walk out? Everyone winow now I was in here!"

EMMA
"Then teleport out. I'll meet you at the Food Court, darling!"

[Emma kisses Kurt and then he teleports and Emma gets dressed and goes to the register.]

SCENE - Food Court

[Kurt appears behind some ferns. He then sees Emma's bra still in his hand. He quickly shoves it into the plant.]

TOAD
"Wagner! What was that you just threw away?"

KURT
"Nothing!"

TOAD
"Hmmm, it appears to be...a bra!"

KURT
"Hey! Give that back! I mean, don't give that back! It's not mine! I have no idea where that bra come from!"

[Toad flings the bra at Kurt's face. Out of nowhere, Emma shows up and catches it.]

EMMA
"Oh, there it is. I've been looking for that! I must have dropped it in the changing room!"

TOAD
"Changing room?"

EMMA
"Yes, over at Victoria's Secret. I was just showing Kurt some lingerie I was planning to buy."

KURT
"Uh, heh, heh, heh! She's just joking!"

[Toad is just staring at Emma with his jaw on the ground.]

EMMA
"Close your mouth, flies are getting in!"

KURT
"He's probably just hungry."

[Emma and Kurt walk off while Toad just stares. Blob and Avalanche see Toad and slap him on the back of the head.]

AVALANCHE
"Snap out of it, Tolenski!"

BLOB
"Yeah, what the hell's the matter with you?"

TOAD
"Didn't you just see Wagner and that blonde babe?"

AVALANCHE
"No."

TOAD
"Follow me."

[Avalanche and Blob follow Toad through the Food Court untill they get a good look at Kurt and Emma.]

AVALANCHE
"Who is she, and why is she with a dork like Wagner?"

TOAD
"I think they were doin the nasty in the changing room at Victoria's Secret! He had her underwear in his pocket and she bragged about modeling lingerie for him!"

BLOB
"I don't get it! I thought he already had a girlfriend."

TOAD
"He does, Einstein! He's cheating on his girlfriend with that major hottie over there!"

AVALANCHE
"Oh man, I can't wait to tell Kitty about this!"

TOAD
"This is too big to waste on simple gossip! Think of the damage we do with this information!"

SCENE - OUTSIDE BAYVILLE MALL

[Emma and Kurt are walking home.]

KURT
"Why did you tell Toad what we were doing at Victoria's Secret!?"

EMMA
"You're rather tense aren't you? When we get back, I'll give you a back rub!"

KURT
"I don't need a back rub!"

EMMA
"How about a nice hot shower? I'll scrub your back if you scrub mine."

KURT
"Oh man, Logan's gonna kill me!"

SCENE - OUTSIDE THE DANGER ROOM

[Logan and the rest of the X-Men are waiting for Emma to show them her new uniform.]

LOGAN
"Kid, get a move on so we can start the briefing!"

EMMA
"Ok. I'm ready now!"

[Emma steps out of the changing room dressed in knee-high white leather boots, opera-length white gloves, a white cape, and a white boustier with lacy panties. The reaction is stunned silence. Scott puts his hand over Jamie's eyes.]

EMMA
"Well, what do you think?"

STORM
"Young lady, that is totally inappropriate!"

EMMA
"What's wrong? It covers up all my naughty bits! Besides Logan said I could wear this! He gave me his word."

[Storm glares at Logan.]

LOGAN
"Hey, I didn't know she was gonna dress like Stripperella!"

STORM
"Ms. Frost! Come with me! We're going to have a chat with the Professor!"

[Storm takes Emma to the Professor's office.]

LOGAN
"Allright boys and girls, I'm in a bad mood, so we're gonna train at level III!"

[Everyone groans.]

SCENE - HALLWAY

[Scott, Kurt, and Jamie are wearily walking back to there rooms after an intense training session in the Danger Room.]

SCOTT
"Ugh, I'm exhausted! I can't believe Emma pulled a stunt like that!"

KURT
"At least she didn't go with the thong."

[Scott and Jamie stare at Kurt, who doesn't realize he slipped up.]

SCOTT
"How do you know she had a thong?"

KURT
"Well, I was there when she bought it...I mean, I..."

SCOTT
"Allright, Wagner! Spill it!"

KURT
"Ok. She bought her costume at Victoria's Secret! I was with her at Bayville Mall this afternoon
S
SCOTT
"So she showed you what she bought afer she got it."

KURT
"Uhm, er, it was kinda before she bought it."

SCOTT
"So you saw her pick it up and then pay for it."

KURT
"Well, no! She had to try it on first!"

SCOTT
"What, where you in Victoria's Secret at the time?"

KURT
"Yes."

SCOTT
"What were you doing there?"

KURT
"I was sitting down, reading...No! I wasn't reading anything! I-It's not my fault! She pulled me in there!"

SCOTT
"Pulled you in where?"

KURT
"The changing room!"

SCOTT
"She pulled you into the changing room! What the hell was she wearing?"

KURT
"A g-garter belt..."

SCOTT
"And?"

KURT
"A garter belt! A garter belt! She was just wearing a fricken garter belt!"

JAMIE
"What's a garter belt?"

KURT
"It's a belt that goes around the waist and has straps to hold up stockings."

JAMIE
"You mean you saw her NAKED!"

SCOTT
"Jamie! Keep your voice down! So, are they real?"

KURT
"W-what are you talking about?"

SCOTT
"Her you-know. I hear some girls have them surgicaly enhanced."

JAMIE
"You mean a boob job?"

SCOTT
"Jamie!"

KURT
"They're real."

SCOTT
"Are you sure?"

KURT
"I tried to get up and I kinda, bumped into them."

SCOTT
"You are one lucky bastard!"

KURT
"No, I'm one gonna be one dead bastard..."

JAMIE
"...if Logan finds out you saw Emma naked and touched her boobies!"

SCOTT
"Jamie, you can't tell anyone about this!"

JAMIE
"Oh man!"

SCOTT
"Jamie!"

JAMIE
"OK. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

SCOTT
"Kurt, maybe you should take a shower. Logan has pretty good sense of smell, and we wouldn't want him to, uhm, smell her on you."

KURT
"That's a good idea!"

SCENE - XAVIER'S OFFICE

[Emma is sitting in a chair opposite Prof. X and Storm is standing between them. Her expresion is very serious.]

XAVIER
"Well, would you like a cup of tea? It's Earl Grey!"

EMMA
"Yes, two sugars, please."

SCENE - MEN'S BATHROOM

[Kurt is in the shower. A pair of hands cover his face.]

EMMA
"Guess who?"

KURT
"AAAHHH!!!"

LOGAN (Heard from the other side of the door)
"Hey, Elf! Keep it down in there!"

KURT
"Gott Im Himmel! What are you doing in here?"

EMMA
"I thought you wanted to take a shower together? I even brought some Herbal Essence!"

[She squirts show shampoo into her hand. She then looks Kurt up and down.]

EMMA
"I hope I brought enough conditioner."

KURT
"If Logan finds you in here..."

EMMA
"Exilerarting, isn't it! He could walk in at any time and see us together!"

KURT
"He'll kill me!"

EMMA
"No, he'll have to get through me first, for we have sworn to die in each other's arms! "

KURT
"WHAT?! You're insane!"

LOGAN (Heard from outside)
"Elf! If you don't stop making that racket, I'm coming in there!"

KURT
"Got to 'port out of here!"

EMMA
"You can't just leave me here!"

KURT
"Oh, hold onto me then!"

EMMA
"Take me, Kurt!"

[Emma leaps into Kurt's arms and they vanish!]

SCENE - KURT'S ROOM

[Emma and Kurt appear in the middle of the room, still dripping wet from the shower.]

KURT
"We're safe!"

EMMA
"Oooohh, Kurt! That was incredible!"

[The door opens and Kitty walks in.]

KITTY
"Say, Kurt. I was wondering if I could borrow your...OH MY GOD!!!"

EMMA
"Do you mind, we're in the middle of something here!"

KURT
"We're not in the middle of anything! This is not what it looks like!"

KITTY
"I'm sorry, so sorry! I-I should have knocked!"

[Kitty runs out of the room, embarresed! Kurt locks the door.]

KURT
"Are you crazy!"

EMMA
"Oh, Kurt! My heart is aching for you, my love! Feel it beating!"

[Emma grabs Kurt's hand and places it on her chest.]

KURT
"AAAHHH! YOU ARE CRAZY!"

[Kurt grabs his hand back, opens his closet, and starts getting dressed.]

EMMA
"I thought you brought me to your room so you could make mad, pasionate love to me!"

KURT
"Er, maybe later! First we have to get you out of here! Get dressed!"

EMMA
"But I don't have any clothes!"

KURT
"No kidding! Here, put these on!"

[Kurt throws her some of his clothes. She holds up a pair of slacks.]

EMMA
"I can't wear these, they have a hole in the back."

KURT
"It's for the tail."

[Suddenly they both hear a loud knock on the door.]

KURT (Whispering)
"Quick, hide in the closet!"

[Emma runs into the closet.]

LOGAN (From outside the door)
"Elf! Open the door!"

KURT
"Just a minute! I'm getting dressed!"

[Kurt throws on a shirt and then checks to see if the closet door is closed.]

LOGAN (From outside the door)
"I said open the door!"

[Kurt opens the door. Logan walks in.]

LOGAN
"You left the shower running."

KURT
"I, uh, must have forgot!"

[Logan sniffs the air.]

LOGAN
"Hmm, something doesn't smell quite right."

KURT (VO)
"Please God, if I ever needed your help, now is the time!"

[The Fire Alarm sounds.]

LOGAN
"What! The Fire Alarm!"

[Logan runs out of the room.]

KURT
"Thanks God!"

[Emma gets out of the closet.]

EMMA
"I'll see you later, Kurt!"

[She grabs him and kisses him.]

KURT
"Uh, sure, I guess."

[Emma winks at Kurt and leaves.]

SCENE - AMANDA'S HOUSE

[Amanda is in her room studying.]

AMANDA'S MOM (From downstairs)
"Amanda! Telephone!"

[Amanda picks up the phone.]

AMANDA
"Hello?"

TOAD
"Yeah, I have some information you might find interesting! It concerns a certain Kurt Wagner."

AMANDA
"Todd, why are you calling me?"

TOAD
"Uh, I'm not Todd! I'm someone else! I saw your boyfriend with some blonde bimbo over at the mall today. They was pretty friendly if you know what I mean!"

AMANDA
"You mean my ex-boyfriend! Because of a certain somebody who crashed into my parent's living room and ripped off Kurt's Image-Inducer, thus exposing his identity as a mutant, I have been forced to end my relationship with Kurt. Thank you very much for pouring salt in that wound, Tolenski!"

[Amanda rudely hangs up.]

SCENE - BROTHERHOOD HOUSE

[Toad hangs up the phone.]

TOAD
"Man, what a bitch! Looks like we're down to 'Plan B', guys!"

SCENE - MAIN ENTRANCE

[Logan is trying to find out who pulled the fire alarm.]

SCOTT
\ie pie pulled the alarm by accident!"

JAMIE
"But you pul...."

[Scott puts his hand over Jamie's mouth.]

SCOTT
"Heh, heh, heh! Kids today!"

SCENE - KITTY'S ROOM

[Kitty is just hanging up the phone when Rogue walks in.]

ROGUE
"What the hell's the matter with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

KITTY
"I saw Emma..."

ROGUE
"Man, aye hate her!"

KITTY
"She was in Kurt's room, t-they were both naked! Huh, huh, huh, I-I think they just had sex too!"

ROGUE
"What the!"

KITTY
"...and Lance just called. Apparently Toad saw Emma and Kurt at the mall this afternoon, she bragged about having sex with him in the changing room at Victoria's Secret!"

ROGUE
"She had sex with Toad at Victoria's Secret!"

KITTY
"Not Toad, Kurt! Ewww!"

ROGUE
"Well, Todd's not that bad...Oh my god! I just remembered! I saw Scott hiding some of Emma's clothes and muttering about how Logan was gonna kill Kurt!"

[Jean walks in.]

JEAN
"I just saw Emma walking down the hall with her hair all wet and wearing Kurt's clothes. Can somebody explain what's going on?"

KITTY
"What does this all mean?!"

ROGUE
"It means the fuzzball has more stamina than I thought! Kurt must have banged her about three times today so far!"

KITTY
"How can you say that? He's like, your brother!"

ROGUE
"He's only my stepbrother! Uh, not that I'm a Bradybopper or anything! I just think it's kinda weird, that's all!"

SCENE - LIVING ROOM

[Kurt is sitting on the couch when Jean, Rogue, and Kitty walk up to him.]

KURT
"Anything wrong?"

JEAN
"You-you pervet!"

[Jean slaps Kurt.]

KURT
"What did I do?"

ROGUE
"Emma, about three times!"

[Scott tries to get between Jean and Kurt.]

SCOTT
"Uh, Jean, I can explain everything! You see, Kurt..."

[Logan enter with Jamie in tow and slams the door.]

LOGAN
"ELF!!! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!!!"

KURT
"Oh shit!"

[Kurt teleports away.]

SCENE - KURT'S ROOM

[Kurt teleports into his room and locks the door.]

KURT
"Oh man, safe at last!"

EMMA
"Mmmmm, Kurt!"

[Kurt slowly turns around and notices the candles, the flowers, and Emma lying naked in his bed. Emma pats the bed next to her.]

EMMA
"I've kept the bed nice and warm for you."

KURT
"Oh crap!"

[A little Kurt dressed as a devil appears on his left shoulder.]

DEVIL KURT
"What the fuck are you waitng for, dumbass!? Get over there and start boning the babe!"

[Then a another little Kurt dressed as an angel appears on his right shoulder.]

ANGEL KURT
"Kurt, stop running away and tell Emma how you really feel about her. If she has any geniune feelings for you , she'll understand why you can't recipercate her advances."

DEVIL KURT
"You fucking pussy!"

KURT
"I-I think he's right! I have to be honest!"

DEVIL KURT
"Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!"

[Devil Kurt dissappears in a puff of flame.]

ANGEL KURT
"You're doing the right thing!"

KURT
"You'd better be right about this!"

[Angel Kurt vanishes. Kurt sits on the bed and looks Emma in the eyes.]

KURT
"Emma, I really like you. I enjoyed spending time with you at the mall, mainly when we talked at that coffe shop. I would like to be your friend and maybe later something more, but you're just moving too fast! I can't give you what you want right now! I can't believe I just said that! You see, we could ruin a good thing if we were to rush into this! I gonna really hate myself tommorow, but I can't make love to you Emma! Do you understand what I'm saying?"

EMMA
"Oh, I understand, love! You're just playing hard to get, aren't you!"

KURT
"What!?"

[She grabs Kurt and pulls him under the covers.]

EMMA
"I want you, Kurt! I want you, NOW!!!"

KURT
"Hey, stop that! That tickles! (RIP!) Oh, oh my god!"

[Kurt teleports over by the door! Emma leaps out of bed and flings his ripped slacks aside.]

KURT
"I'm so sorry, Emma! But, you need help!"

[Kurt teleports away.]

EMMA
"Noooooo!!! Kurt, I love you!!!"

SCENE - XAVIER'S OFFICE

[A frantic Kurt appears in front of Xavier's door and bolts it.]

XAVIER
"Uh, Kurt?"

KURT
"Professor! I really need your help!"

XAVIER
"First things first, Kurt! Where are your pants?"

KURT
"Huh? Oh, she's a lot stronger than she looks! Professor, I'm going to tell you everything, but I need you to read my mind to conform it!"

XAVIER
"Well, allright, but..."

KURT
"Hurry, there's not much time!!!"

[Kurt begins explaining the whole story. Xavier sits back and waits for him to finish.]

XAVIER
"That's absolutely incredible, Kurt!"

KURT
"You do believe me, though?"

XAVIER
"Yes, I do."

[Xavier pushes a button on the intercom.]

XAVIER
"Henry, do think you could come here? I need your help to prove a theory!"

BEAST (VO)
"Of course, Professor."

KURT
"What theory?"

XAVIER
"Something about her behavior earlier puzzles me."

SCENE - BEAST'S LAB

[Everyone is gathered in the lab. BEAST is ready to give his findings.]

BEAST
"Well, I've finished the tests. Kurt, are you aware you're emiting phermones?"

[Kurt sniffs around.]

KURT
"No, I wasn't aware I was emiting anything! What are phermones?"

BEAST
"Chemical signals. Some animals use them to si pot potential mates. The phermones you emit are too weak to actually affect most poeple, but unfortunately, Ms. Frost seems to be incredibly receptive to them. In short, merely being around you gives her..."

ROGUE
"...a severe case of Nymphomania!"

BEAST
"Er, yes."

JEAN
"Nicely put, Rogue!"

BEAST
"Ahem, I have concocted a chemical antidote that will cancel out the effects of Kurt's phermones."

KURT
"So, she'll be alright them?"

BEAST
"Yes, she be be back to her old self in no time."

[Jean and Rogue both groan.]

KURT
"Can I see her when she wakes up?"

SCENE - EMMA'S ROOM

[Emma is reading a book when Kurt knocks on the door.]

KURT
"H-hello? Come I come in?"

EMMA
"Sure, come in. It's not like I was doing anything important!"

[Emma puts her book aside. Kurt walks in carrying a present.]

EMMA
"Oh, you."

KURT
"I brought you something. You said you liked chess so...here."

[He hands her the present, shich she quickly shoves aside without opening it.]

EMMA
"Yes, I play chess. This of course means I already have a chess set. So, I don't need another one."

KURT
"Emma, how much do you remember?"

EMMA
"Thankfully, I don't remember anything!"

KURT
"Oh, well, I had said some things. If you really don't remember, I would like to say them again."

EMMA
"Oh, in that case...Sod off! I don't want to hear anything you have to say, furball!"

KURT
"Fine, I'll leave."

[Kurt walks out the room. Emma waits a while and then picks up her books and continues reading. She smiles a little.]

EMMA
"I like you too, Kurt."

THE END