Light and Love

Title: Light and Love

Rating: NC-17, obviously.

Pairing: Charles/Erik

Fandom: Many years pre-movies.

Summary: Charles has a dream, but everything isn’t like it seems.

Disclaimer: Not my characters. They belong to Marvel/20th Century Fox. No money made from this.

Archive: My own website, http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/Index.html and list archives. Others, please ask me first.

Feedback: Please? Send it to henrika15_@hotmail.com

A/N: This story was my mom’s idea, and it all started with a pic I drew, which can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/xaviermags12.jpg So if you think this sucks, blame her, not me.

Another image I drew for this story is this one: http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/xaviermags17.jpg

*~*~*

Charles Xavier was lying on his back, looking up at the blue, almost cloudless sky from his blanket down by the sandy shore. It was a completely calm day. The lake, some ten yards away, looked very much like a smooth, blue velvety carpet.

Charles lay in the shadow of a large oak tree, since the sun and the almost still air would be too much to handle otherwise. Instead of watching the sky, Charles turned his head to look at Erik. For a short moment it seemed like the other man had fallen asleep, but that was not the case.

Erik was lying sideways with his eyes closed, but he wasn’t more asleep than Charles himself. Probably Erik himself would choose to call it “resting”, but Charles knew he wasn’t sleepy. When he had that expression on his face it meant something else.

That was one good thing about being a telepath; no one could fool you. Charles was always filled with love and compassion when he watched his lover for 20 years. Erik was a very beautiful man, although that wasn’t the reason why Charles liked looking at him. Everything, all his features, were so personal.

Now Erik was breathing heavily. A thin, shining layer of sweat covered his slim, pale body. Obviously he was as hot as Charles was.

Charles smiled, and propped himself up on his elbow, and gently brushed Erik’s hair back from his sweat-slick forehead. Suddenly the other man opened his eyes. Erik’s eyes were as blue as the clear sky. His thick dark hair, pale blue eyes and rosy cheeks made him look likmalemale version of Snow White. Well, maybe Erik wasn’t so “manly”, but he was no queen, despite his orientation. He was slender, and didn’t look very strong, but in his was the same stubborn strength as in Charles himself.

“Are you asleep, darling?” Charles asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Erik snorted. “Of course not,” he replied solemnly. “I am merely resting my eyes.”

Charles placed his hand on Erik’s hip and slowly passed it down along his slim thigh. Luckily they were alone here, and didn’t have to wear any clothing. In this heat any clothing would have been unbearable. And watching a naked Erik was certainly not bad, either. Or to show him love.

The world was actually evolving, but they still had a long way to go. Being openly homosexual on a public beach was perhaps not to recommend.

“Aren’t you hot?” Charles asked.

Erik rolled over to his back, sighing. Yes, he was hot, alright.

“Very,” he confessed. “I almost wonder if not Hell is cooler…” he muttered, and then couldn’t help laughing at his own statement. “But we will know, Charles, since we’ll get there, at least according to all those Christian priests!”

After saying this Erik began to laugh even more. Charles really didn’t think it was funny, but he laughed with Erik anyway. Sometimes his lover could be so cynical. Probably it was due to his childhood and his time at Auschwitz during the war, and although Charles knew what had happened there, it was nothing that Erik was happy to talk about, so they mostly left it alone.

Charles, whose parents had been faithful Christians, didn’t have such a cynical approach to the Church’s way of regarding homosexuality. His parents were dead now, but if they’d been alive Charles was sure they wouldn’t have liked the idea of their son loving a man, who was also a Jew. It was sad, as Charles never had thence nce to tell them about his orientation.

But, he thought, I didn’t tell them I could read minds either. And actually that is a whole lot weirder than my love for Erik.

Charles didn’t know where his unique and sometimes frightening ability came from. Neither of his parents, nor any other relatives had it, but he suspected it was caused by some kind of hereditary, mutated freaky gene.

Only Erik of the peoplenow now knew was aware of this anomaly, and Charles knew he could trust Erik. Erik loved him, of course, and they belonged together, but Erik’s understanding also depended on the fact that he was abnormal himself. He wasn’t a telepath, but instead he had a perhaps even stranger power – complete control of magnetism.

Unlike Charles, Erik wasn’t interested in knowing where his incredible power came from, or why he had it – all he wanted was to keep it secret, since he knew the society wouldn’t accept him if they found out.

Yes, Erik could be really cynical.

Charles regarded Erik inquiringly. Right now his face was lax and peaceful. Despite that Ewasnwasn’t old – barely even middle aged – he often had hard lines around his eyes and mouth, but all such signs of age were gone now. Charles knew why. Erik felt safe here. Now he didn’t have to worry.

“What are you thinking about?” Erik suddenly muttered when he noticed Charles’ intense look. “Tell me, I can’t read minds.”

Charles smiled. “I am just thinking of how beautiful you are.”

Erik snorted, but still had to laugh.

“Do you know how I really feel? Like a boiled hotdog. Can’t we take a dip?”

“Yes, that would be great,” Charles agreed.

Erik quickly bounced to his feet and stretched his slender naked body. His pallid skin gleamed with sweat, and he looked exactly like Charles felt – hot. Erik reached out his hand and pulled his lover to his feet.

They exchanged a quick kiss before they cnuednued towards the water, with their arms around each other’s waists. This would be their first time swimming in the lake’s clear blue water.

“Do you think it’s cold?” Charles asked.

“We’ll see,” Erik replied.

“Yes, you’re so right about that!”

Right in that very moment Charles decided to so something impulsive. He bent down and scooped Erik into his arms before the other even could react, and started running fast toward the water.

Erik started screaming the following second, and kicked his legs out, though it was no real resistance, but he actually liked what was happening. But when he saw Charles was approaching the water front he got terrified.

“No, don’t drop me there!” he cried and tried to fight down the laughter that was bubbling out of him. “Charles! You hear me? You can’t…!”

But Charles could, and he did. When the water reached his mid-thighs he let go of Erik and mercilessly dropped him into the cold water.

Erik was s lau laughing and yelling when he went into water, and therefore swallowed several mouths before he could react and fought to get his head over the surface.

Charles was laughing. His darling looked like a drowned mouse. In spite that Erik got quite a few involuntary gulps of cold water he wasn’t really mad. But he was pretending.

“You bastard!” he spat out furiously. “What were you doing? Drowning me?!”

“But honey, you know I think you’re so cute when you’re wet!” Charles teased.

Erik’s eyes narrowed, and he said, “But do you know something, Charlie? So are you!”

Without a forewarning, Erik kicked out his legs from under him and made Charles fall headfirst into the cold water. Charles wasn’t sure which was worse; what Erik just did or that he had called him “Charlie”.

Erik, who obviously realized he was in trouble, started moving away already before Charles got to his feBut But running in water wasn’t easy at all, and Erik didn’t get a very long start. Charles soon caught up with him, and once he caught Erik, he wrapped both his arms around him and seized him in a grip his lover couldn’t break free from.

Erik sure was a bit taller than him, but more slender, so Charles knew he was physically stronger.

In vain Erik struggled against the arms that were wrapped around his waist, but they seemed to be made of steel – although if they had been, he could have taken care of them easily. Flesh and blood were worse.

“Let go before you choke me…” he muttered at last and ceased to struggle.

“Erik, my love, after 20 years in my house, plus my bed, you should really know my name,” Charles said with his mouth to Erik’s ear. “*Not* Charlie. Not ever. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, sir…” Erik muttered and tried to wriggle out again. “Can you let me go now?”

“Ask really nicely.”

“Prettyase ase Charles, maybe you can let me go now? I’d really like to get out of this without rupturing my spleen.”

Charles laughed. “Sure, sweetheart. Just don’t fly at me.”

“I cross my heart.”

Slowly Charles released Erik, yet he stayed closely behind him, ready to grab him again in case he attempted something. But Erik did not. He leaned back against Charles’ chest instead, and turned his head toward the blue afternoon sky. “The Dip” had actually been refreshing and he no longer felt so sweaty. The water was cold, but it didn’t take his body long to adapt, so it no longer bothered him.

Charles kissed the soft skin of Erik’s neck and shoulder, and his arms closed around Erik’s waist again, though softer this time. Now he didn’t have to worry his lover would run away from him. At least it didn’t seem so. His body wanted to feel Charles’ hands on it.

“Erik…” he whispered and started to notice his increased heart rate and ragged breathing. “I don’t know if it’s some strange chemicals in the water, but I’m getting very…”

“Horny?” Erik finished his sentence. “Or maybe that woan’tan’t be found in your vocabulary?”

But whether it did or not, Erik knew that was the case. This because he could feel the proof of Charles’ arousal against his buttocks.

“Hmm…” the telepath muttered dreamingly. “How could you know? Perhaps because you are so lovely I can’t be near you without… Erik, do you believe it is possible to have sex in the water?”

Erik chuckled. “I suppose it’s possible, but certainly not comfortable or healthy, so my suggestion is we wait until we’ve out of the water. So let me go now, you lovesick dummy, I’d like to have another swim.”

Erik shook free from Charles’ embrace and dove into the water again. Charles himself merely sighed, sinking back into the lake until he was floating flat on his back and looking at the still-as-blue sky.

He came to think of something that Erik said earlier; the ironic statementut tut the Christian Church’s view of homosexuality.

Is there a God out there? Charles wred.red. I was raised to believe so. If there is, does he hate me because I love Erik?

There were so many questions, and Charles didn’t know the answer to any of them. But he knew one thing – whatever happened, he couldn’t lose Erik. A few minutes later Erik returned, splashing water on his face to get his attention. When Charles’ face crumpled up and he went underneath the surface Erik couldn’t help laughing at his little trick.

“Come on now!” he snickered. “Weren’t we supposed to do something?”

“Like what?” Charles asked while rubbing his eyes.

“Come on, I’ll refresh your memory!”

Erik grabbed his lover’s hand and started pulling him toward the beach. Charles let him do it. Of course he knew what Erik was referring to, and he wasn’t exactly unwilling. Very well. Perhaps he was teasing Erik just because he looko cuo cute while begging for something.

When they crawled up from the lake they were cold and wet, and despite the warm air Charles shivered. He glanced at their blanket; well protected beneath the huge oak tree, and could hardly wait to take Erik there, and…

Suddenly he glimpsed something else that caught his attention. To their left were a few large boulders that reached up to 50 feet above the water. Some of the rocks were quite steep, though with a fairly good sense of balance and some willpower there wouldn’t be any problems climbing them. Charles had an idea.

“Erik,” he said, pulling Erik’s hand. “Up there, look. Wouldn’t it be cool to get up there and have a look at the view?”

Erik’s reply was a snort. “Really? Just when you’ve got my interest you change your mind and want to do mountain climbing instead? What a crook!”

Charles just smiled. Yes, Erik’s semi-hard member revealed he probably had other interests than climbing rocks.

“There is plenty of time for that *later*,” Charles promised him. Right now I’d like to do this. We’ve got lots of time. And besides you are damn sexy when you’re climbing rocks naked,” he finished and winked seductively at Erik, and actually managed to pull a smile from the other man.

“I have never climbed any rocks,” he replied.

“Soon you have,” said Charles.

Despite that neither of them was an experienced climber they managed to get up relatively unharmed. A fall could have ended up badly, but there was hardly any risk. Erik did scrape his left knee, and muttered a few curses in German – a language he now used only when he was upset.

When they were finally up they approached the ledge, looking down at the lake and its surrounding environment.

Beautiful, they both admitted. Maybe one scraped knee was a price worth paying for sa loa lovely view.

“It is beautiful,” Charles said, and again took Erik’s hand to entwine their fingers.

“Hmm…” Erik agreed. “It is.”

Yes *wa *was* beautiful, he had to grant Charles that, but really he had much rather wanted to lie on the blanket down there with Charles on top or underneath himself – which depended on his mood. Right now he wanted to be on top. But instead of saying it, he squeezed Charles’ hand back and admired the view with him.

“Can we sit down?” he asked after some time. “Dangle our legs over the edge, maybe?”

“Should we sit without a towel, you think?” Charles asked hesita. “I. “Isn’t it a kind of dirty?”

Erik laughed. “Dirty? No! This warm piece of rock is going to feel good underneath our bare buttocks. Come on, now.”

Carefully, without any hast movement, they sat down on the verge of the cliff with their legs freely dangling over the edge.

“If you fall I promise to hold on to you, if you’ll do the same for me,” said Erik.

“Deal.”

Charleanedaned forth and gently put his arm around his lover’s thin shoulders. Thin, but not fragile. He then nuzzled Erik’s throat, inhaling his scent. Right now he smelled of damp skin, summer and sweat. It was a very earthly smell. Charles liked it. He opened his mouth and let his tongue tip brush Erik’s soft, smooth skin. The taste was salty, and slightly bitter, but not repulsive. Charles would have loved to lick his body clean.

Suddenly Erik sighed. “Charles… if this is what you’d like to do, then maybe we should go down to the blanket, don’t you think?”

Charles smiled and pulled back. “It was just a kiss. Nothing more, I promise.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“You have my word.”

“I thought we were here to admire the view.”

“We can talk at the same time.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

Charles gave it some thought. “You know I love you, Erik, but in case we ever marry, I won’t change my name into Charles Lehnsherr.”

Erik snorted. “In this country? Forget it! I have lived here since 1949 and people are still as narrow minded!”

“Not everyone, Erik,” Charles remarked.

“Almost. Charles, what will happen to our kind?”

“Our kind…?” Charles asked. “You mean…?”

“No, not homosexuals. I mean…”

Erik’s voice sank and his expression grew serious. He clearly remembered what had happened to “his kind” – the Jews – in Nazi Germany, and he was terrified that something like that might happen in the States as well.

“You mean us with…gifts?” Charles asked carefully.

Erik nodded mutely.

“I don’t know,” Charles replied honestly. “I don’t even know how many we are. I am no oracle. I can’t see the future.”

“I am scared.”

“I know, darling,” Charles said compassionately and started stroking Erik’s neck. “I am scared too.”

“Can we go down?”

“Yes, come. Let’s do it.”

A few minutes later they were down on the ground again, lying in each other’s arms on the blanket beneath the tree. Once they got down they noticed neither of them felt like having sex any longer, so they decided trying to take a nap instead.

Again Charles lay on his back, with Erik pressed to his left side with half his body atop Charles’ and one arm thrown over his ribcage. All Charles wanted now was a pillow to place under his head – otherwise everything was perfect. He had his love, he had his health, and he was happier than ever.

But…-

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Charles wasn’t sure how many times his alarm clock rang before he finally woke up from his dream and opened his eyes. It took him quite some time to even understand how he was suddenly transferred from a warm, sunny beach to his plain old room at home, but when he realized the truth and saw the hated, monstrous object, also known as his wheelchair standing by his bed he was no longer surprised. Instead he despaired.

For several seconds he lay totally still, simply staring at the wheelchair with blank eyes, until he felt something moving behind him and then Erik’s annoyed voice. “Charles!” the other man snapped. “Turn the alarm clock off! I’m going crazy, dammit!”

Charles just kept on staring at the alarm clock’s phosphorous digital numbers, which told him it was 7:02 AM, and then slowly reached his hand out and turned off the alarm.

Erik sighed behind him and leaned back against the pillows. He didn’t like being awakened either, and wanted nothing more than going back to sleep, but he had yet to realize there was something wrong with Charles. He still believed his lover simply had trouble waking up today – which was never a problem in normal cases.

Charles was anly bly bird while Erik himself was a night owl. It could be a bad combination sometimes, but so far their relationship has survived the differences. So what was this?

“Charles,” he finally said. “Prolonging the ordeal won’t help. Come on now.”

But Charles barely heard what Erik said. He kept staring at his wheelchair – a despised object he’d been forced to live with for over 20 years, and which he’d never be free from. The dream where he could walk had only been a dream, and when the dream ended nothing was left. Only bittersweet memories and a harsh reality.

Charles recalled every detail in his dream, and realized it was the most alive and believable dream he’d ever had, but no more real than any other dream.

When Erik sat up in the bed and got ready to jump out, he noticed Charles was still lying completely still, and that’s when he started to worry. Was Charles ill? Was he alright?

“Charles?” he asked carefully and gently placed his hand on the telepath’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Charles tried to suppress a sob. Tears had started gathering in his eyes and he was unable to hold them back. He didn’t want Erik to see him cry, because there was really no reason for it, and he didn’t want Erik to believe he was becoming oversensitive. Charles seldom cried, and that’s how Erik was used to seeing him.

But Erik instantly realized something was wrong and became more and more worried.

“Charles, turn around,” he pleaded.

“No, Erik…” Charles whispered back.

“Please? Let me look at you. What’s wrong?”

“I… I just…”

“Charles, are you in pain?”

“N...no…”

“Then what is wrong? You’re scaring me,” he said concerned.

Charles sighed, and decided it was best to be honest and tell Erik everything. Erik wouldn’t give up before he did, and besides Erik was his lover and closest friend, so he if anyone should be able to understand.

Charles rolled to his back, so that Erik could see his face, and then said, in a slow and clear voice, “I had a dream…”

Erik’s eyebrows went up to his forehead, and he looked stunned to say the least, but then asked, “Was it a bad dream?”

Charles sighed again and chose to look at the ceiling. If it were, he thought. You want to wake up from nightmares. But not dreams like this one.

“No, it was a…wonderful dream…” he whispered.

Erik’s bemused expression grew even more puzzled. It was very clear that he was thinking, //So he’s had a nice dream, and yet he’s sad? Weird.//

“But Charles, why are you crying?” he asked and gently put his hand on Charles’ forehead.

Charles didn’t know what to answer. Yeah, why was he crying, really? Because he couldn’t stay in his dream world, like he’d hoped? Because reality was being all too harsh? Because he’d grown sick of his life? No, nothing made any sense, and Charles honestly didn’t know.

“I just…” he sighed and blinked down a tear from his eye.

“Then what did you dream?” Erik asked instead, hoping to get an answer this time. Charles very seldom cried, and never without a reason, so Erik wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or worried.

But instead of answering his questions, Charles crawled closer to his lover and snuggled up against him. “Hold me, Erik. Please?” he whispered.

Erik did of course what he was asked, closing his arms around the sobbing telepath and stroking his tenderly. If Charles didn’t want to tell, he wouldn’t demand an answer from him, although he couldn’t help wondering what it really was.

“I’ll tell you…” Charles said after a while, knowing what Erik was thinking. “But promise you won’t laugh at me…”

“No, of course not. You know I would never do that. Now tell me.”

Charles believed Erik, and slowly started telling him about his dream, and how incredibly sad it was waking up to a life imprisoned in his own body. He didn’t expect Erik to understand exactly how he felt, as Erik had his full mobility left, but he was hoping his story at least would make some sense.

Erik’s listened to his friend without interrupting, and when Charles was done he didn’t know what to do to comfort his lover. On Charles it seemed almost like his whole life was over because of his handicap – something he’d already lived with for 25 years.

“Charles,” Erik finally said. “I can’t understand why you see yourself as a prisoner to your own body. That is definitely not true. There are lots of things that you can do despite your paralysis. You can’t walk, but besides that you are…”

But Charles firmly shook his head. No, Erik didn’t understand. He couldn’t. Not this.

“Charles…” Erik tried again, holding the other man close. “You can’t let a dream… There has to be more.”

“I… I felt…” Charles took a deep breath and tried hard to speak coherently. “When the alarm clock woke me up this morning, my own wheelchair was the first thing I saw. It was like seeing your own prison. That… hideous thing has become my prison, and I can’t live without it. I need it for everything I do. Everything I dreamt of disappeared when I saw that wheelchair. There is nothing left.”

“What about me?” Erik asked carefully. “I am here, right? I am no dream.”

Charles almost felt like laughing, but he didn’t, since there was no reason.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re a dream as well…” he murmured. “You are so beautiful… I don’t deserve you, Erik…”

Now Erik started getting really upset. Hearing such things leaving Charles’ mouth made him angry; both with his lover and himself. But he knew one thing – he had to get those thoughts out of Charles’ head. At once.

“What is wrong with you!” he exclaimed. “Why do you think I’m here? Because of compassion? I am here because I love you!”

Erik cupped Charles’ head in his hands and forced him to lift his eyes. “As a telepath you really shouldn’t have to ask! Look at me!”

Erik wasn’t sure if this was the best way to put an end to Charles’ melancholy mood, since he’d never been bound to comfort Charles before. Instead it used to be the other way around. Many years after his stay at Auschwitz Erik had frequent nightmares, and often woke up at nights, sweaty and screaming. Charles had always been there to take him into his safe arms whenever it happened, and always managed to calm him with his serene voice, assuring him everything would be alright.

Erik certainly didn’t have nightmares quite as often anymore, but when it happened Charles’ arms were the first place he sought. Of course. Charles always made him feel better. Could he now do the same for Charles?

Yelling was obviously not the best of ideas, so Erik tried to calm down and think like a psychologist. Hmm… The first thing a psychologist would probably say would be to search for the cause of the problem. But Erik didn’t know what, and finding out would be difficult.

“Charles,” he said again, though with a softer voice. “Tell me what we did in your dream that we can’t do here?”

“Climbing rocks, for instance,” Charles replied. “You were so beautiful, climbing rocks stark naked,” he added with a faint smile.

Erik couldn’t help chuckling. “I don’t believe you’ll ever see me climbing any rocks, naked or otherwise. That is not my thing. What else did we do?”

“I chased you.”

“You can chase me pretty good in your wheelchair. You don’t require legs.”

Charles just sighed in reply. It wasn’t the same, of course, and they both knew it.

“And more?” Erik asked. “Did we make love?”

“There was no time,” Charles said.

“Too bad. I am sure you would have loved taking me standing, right?”

The questions managed to pull a weak smile out of Charles. Yes, it certainly would have been a great experience taking Erik from behind. Unfortunately he was incapable of doing it.

Erik pulled Charles’ head against his own and rested his forehead against his temple.

“Maybe you can’t take me standing, but you should know I love you anyway,” he said gravely. “So do not let a stupid dream take your self-esteem, my friend. There is so much you can do, even without mobile legs.”

“So you don’t think I am… holding you back?” Charles asked quietly.

“You know you don’t.”

Erik kissed his lover, and hoped Charles would return the kiss. He did, even though it took some time. Charles was a good kisser and Erik hoped he still knew it.

“Would you make love to me, Erik?” Charles asked while withdrawing his lips from Erik’s.

“Would you like that?” Erik said softly and stroked Charles’ cheekbone with his thumb.

Charles nodded. “Yes, absolutely.”

“What would you like to do?” Erik murmured and started kissing his lover again. “Would you like me to ride you, or are we…”

“You, inside me,” whispered Charles. “You know what I like.”

“Yes, after all these years I suppose I do,” Erik replied, smiling.

Of course Erik knew what Charles liked, and vice versa. Erik usually preferred being the active part, and he had his reasons. After being raped as a child during the war, Erik had trouble relaxing when he was penetrated, and even though they had tried switching places sometimes Charles knew Erik couldn’t really enjoy it, so therefore this was the best way.

They kissed some more before Erik started fumbling for the buttons of Charles’ nightshirt. Erik himself slept, and would always sleep naked, but Charles chose to wear a soft loose cotton shirt in bed, even though he always slept naked from the waist down. His reason was simply that underwear, even small briefs, felt too confining and caused sores, especially when you couldn’t lift your own legs to help it.

In the summertime Charles too slept naked, but it was already late October, and he had gone back to sleeping in his “nightshirt” or whatever one should call it.

When Erik was about to unbutton his shirt, Charles caught his hands top stop him.

“Can I please keep it on?” he asked. “I am cold…”

Erik nodded, although he was surprised. Charles always took all his clothes off when they made love, and he suspected there were other reasons than cold this time. Was Charles ashamed of his body?

But instead of demanding he’d take it off, Erik slid his hands inside the shirt, and gently started caressing Charles’ ribcage. His skin was smooth and firm despite he was already 46 years old, and he honestly had a very good body. But instead of telling, Erik decided to show him.

He pulled his hands along Charles’ body until he reached his groin. Then he pulled the shirt up and exposed his lover’s erect member, which was already as hard as it could become. Despite his disability Charles had no trouble whatsoever gettarouaroused. He responded quickly and was always ready when the time came.

Charles returned Erik’s caresses. Slowly he stroked Erik’s neck and shoulders with his hands, enjoying the feeling of the slender body in his hands. Erik really was beautiful.

They kissed again, and Erik took the upper position, and started rubbing their bodies together. He would have preferred feeling bare skin all the way, but in a way Charles was really sexy in his shirt, especially with his stiff penis sticking out under it.

Erik took out the lubricant they always used and started to prepare his lover.

Charles closed his eyes when he felt a finger entering him, and then two. Erik’s fingers were sleek and slid in without resistance. After two and a half decade of practice Erik didn’t have to search for his friend’s prostate; he found it automatically.

Charles moaned with pleasure and moved his right hand down to stroke his own throbbing member.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” Erik said, smiling widely. “Soon comes the real thing!”

Erik withdrew his fingers and instead lifted Charles’ legs, hooking his ankles over his shoulders. Charles wished he could have felt Erik tenderly stroking his calves, but he couldn’t; he could only see it.

“Ready?” Erik asked softly.

“Yes, always.”

With one fluent movement Erik was in him. Charles gasped when he was entered, but it wasn’t from pain. Erik knew Charles knew what he was doing, so there was no reason to be over-careful. Despite this Erik was still for a few seconds to give his friend time to adjust, and then started moving rhythmically.

Charles’ head lolled aside and he rubbed his face into the pillows while moaning faintly. He felt a strong urge to reach his hand down and stroke himself, but he didn’t since he knew Erik wouldn’t appreciate it. He wanted to do it for Charles himself, but not yet.

Erik enjoyed the act, but almost as much he enjoyed looking at Charles and giving him pleasure. Although Erik preferred being active he was far from a selfish lover. Charles’ pleasure was as important to him as his own.

Charles knew, of course, and was immensely grateful for the bond between them. He was 46, and yet Erik was his only sexual experience. As a teenager, when his parents were still alive, he’d had a number of “girlfriends” – only for the sake of appearance – but a few innocent kisses were as far as he went with them. Erik was the first person who awoke such feelings in him.

They moved in rhythm for a few more minutes, until Erik felt he was approaching his climax and tightened his hold of Charles, as he started moving faster. With one hand he started stroking Charles’ throbbing red erection and was soon rewarded with an intense cry of pleasure and a load of semen splashed on his hand and Charles’ own stomach.

“My turn, darling…” Erik groaned and thrust hard all the way to the hilt. He repeated the procedure a few times and then spurted his seed inside Charles, whose inner muscles clamped down on his member, pulling the very last drop out of him.

Erik almost felt ready to drop. Sex was good, but it was also power consuming, and when he thought about it he recalled he hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. Jesus! No wonder he had no strength left.

Momentarily dizzy, Erik slid out of his lover and fell down next to him in bed, still panting heavily.

Charles was lying still with his eyes closed, also sweating profusely. Maybe it would have best to take the shirt off anyway? However, he didn’t have the strength for it now. All he really wanted was to turn around and go back to sleep, with Erik spooned behind his back.

A part of his wish came true. Erik wrapped his arm around his waist and snuggled in behind him. The contact burned when Erik’s hand happened to brush Charles’ now soft, flaccid penis. Erik noticed Charles shivered and teasingly squeezed his member once more.

“I really believed you’d had enough,” he teased.

“I have…” Charles murmured.

“You’re messy,” Erik pointed out and rested his sticky hand on Charles’ hipbone.

“I know…”

“Are you going up?”

“No.”

“Good. Me neither.”

They lay still for some time without saying anything, as if both waited for the other to take the first step. But neither did.

“Are you better now?” Erik finally asked.

“Yes…” Charles murmured back, although the dream was still fresh in his memory. But what was the good of being sad? He couldn’t walk, and having the blues would not give him his mobility back. And when he thought about it he actually had a lot to be proud of; a beautiful house, money, wits, a good education, and the most important – Erik, to share his life with.

“That is good,” Erik whispered in his ear and then kissed his neck. “I knew you’d be alright…”

Erik honestly didn’t know what he would have done if Charles had continued being under the weather. He wanted to help his lover, and support him, but Erik understood thermodynamics and supra conductors, not people. That was Charles’ field.

Erik often wished he’d had Charles’ empathic ability, but he didn’t, and there was nothing he could do about that. He only wanted Charles to be happy.

“Would you like to talk about your dream?” Erik asked gently after a while of silence.

If Charles didn’t answer he would take it as a no, and leave the subject, but in case he said yes Erik would do his utmost to be a great listener.

Charles sighed. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted, but since he still thought about the dream all the time, he might as well talk about it.

“Alright…” he said slowly. “I suppose we can…”

He rolled over to his back so he could look into Erik’s face. His lover’s pale blue eyes were serious and full of compassion. Since Erik himself often had nasty nightmares he knew from personal experience what a strong impression they could make.

“Did we talk about anything special?” asked Erik.

“Yes… For instance I asked you if you believed we’d be able to marry sometime.”

Erik failed to hold back a smile. “I said “no”, didn’t I?”

Charles nodded. “Yes. “Never in this country” you said.” Then he shrugged. “Maybe you were right. What do I know?”

“I don’t think marriage itself is that important,” said Erik. “It is merely a formality, and we can live without that.”

Charles smiled. “I suppose you’re right. But in case we ever marry, I will not change my name into Charles Lehnsherr.”

Erik even looked a bit indignant. “Why not? If we have to choose one name it has to be mine… “Erik Xavier”… How corny is that?”

“No better than “Charles Lehnsherr”,” Charles agreed. “But since Lehnsherr is a…”

Charles quickly interrupted himself when he realized what he was saying, but it was too late. Erik finished his sentence for him. “Jewish name. I know,” he said.

“Erik, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Erik put his hand on Charles’ chest. “Charles, I know. It is alright. Really. But you should know I’m not ashamed of who I am. We Jews are not very liked wherever we go, but I happen to be proud of my origins.”

“Erik, I know,” Charles said softly and stroked Erik’s head that now lay atop his chest. “You know I’m not shamed of you being Jewish, but…”

“But unfortunately you have to be a white, Christian, heterosexual male to be accepted in this country,” Erik murmured. “Charles, your parents…”

“They are dead. They mean nothing any longer,” Charles objected.

“But if they had been alive? Had your life been different if in that case?”

“Probably,” Charles admitted. “But that is not the point. I met you, and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. Everything else is irrelevant.”

“I just wish things were simpler…” Erik sighed.

“Me too, my dear. But *if* we ever marry…”

“Charles…”

“Are we having a Jewish or a Christian wedding?”

Erik laughed against Charles’ clothed chest. “Neither,” he replied. “We’ll have a private ceremony… With just the two of us.”

“We can have that at home… Whenever we want to.”

“You’re so right about that!” Erik chuckled and crawled up until he was in eyelevel with Charles and could kiss him. “Can we marry, here and now?” he proposed.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Charles replied smiling and kissed Erik back. “But we’ve already had our wedding night…”

“Yes, 25 years ago.”

“Hmm… But it doesn’t matter now, does it? We can have it again… As many times as we want to.”

“Forever.”

“Yes. I love you.”

“I love you too, Charles.”


The End