Playing with Fire

RECONCILIATION


Kurt crouched comfortably on the rail of the balcony outside his room, just to one side of the half open double doors, gazing out across the familiar sweep of the Institute grounds to the tranquil expanse of the vast Atlantic ocean. It was so familiar and welcome to be here, on the rail of _his_ balcony, just outside _his_ room and looking out across grounds to the ocean beyond. Tomorrow, for the first time in months, he would wake in his own room (albeit on the floor) and be able to sit here and watch the sun rise over the sea.

He could hear the small incidental noises of the other occupants of the huge house. Voices drifting down the hall as some of the others moved bedding or clothes into their rooms, the clatter of dishes from Evan and a few of the Jamies cleaning up after dinner in the kitchen below. He could see Sam, sitting on the edge of the fountain below and admiring the same view he was. Even the quiet chatter of a television was drifting up through one of the ground floor windows to break the tranquility of the evening. Ray, Evan and Bobby had insisted that just because there wasn't a stick of furniture in the place didn't mean that they couldn't bring a TV over from the 'catacombs' for the regular Friday night movie marathon. It was good to be _home._

Kurt heard someone trying the door in the room behind him, but didn't bother to turn. The door was unlocked and it was doubtless Logan come to get him for the Danger Room session they had arranged earlier in the day. The older man had cornered him after school and finally dragged out of him the admission that his late night 'exercises' weren't doing the trick. He'd been afraid Logan would ask for details, or suggest that he take his problem to the Professor, but he should have known better. This was the Wolverine, after all was said and done. He had simoffeoffered to join him in running a sim tonight. He'd claimed he needed to make sure everything was in working order before throwing the New Mutants into it in the morning.

"Misfit, if I can't run ya 'til ya drop and can't get up again then all the beer ya can drink is on me." The older man had grinned evilly and Kurt had laughed despite himself. "Hell, it's Friday, we'll run ya inta the ground and then get ya shit-faced Elf. Between the two of 'em you should sleep like a baby. They'll have ta drag ya outa yer room fer dinner tomorrow night by the time I'm done with ya."

Quite honestly, at this point the prospect of getting absolutely blind roaring drunk was infinitely more appealing than Logan running him to exhaustion, but he'd take either option or both if it would just stop the nightmares and give him one uninterrupted night's sleep. He had agreed with alacrity, as grateful for the older mutant's refusal to pry as he was for his concern.

"Good, I've got some things to take care of after dinner. So I'll come collect yur furry ass when I'm ready." He'd turned and headed off down the corridor. "But don't be too hard ta find. See ya later kid," he'd added over his shoulder as he turned the corner.

"Kurt?" He froze at the questioning voice in the dim room behind him, even his tail tip motionless, pulled back from his reverie in shock. He hadn't even heard the door open or someone actually entering his room. He'd been lost in thought and simply enjoying these last few moments of peace, expecting Logan to bark at him to get his ass in gear at any moment.

"Kurt, are you in there?" The voice was both tentative and tense, unsure of a welcome. Angry perhaps, and a little afraid. _Bitte Gott, not afraid,_ he thought with a physical pang of concern. He could handle Kitty furious with him, disgusted with him, even hating him, but the thought of her afraid of him made him want to curl up and die.

"Nein, Kaetzchen, I'm out here, on the balcony." It was an effort to keep his voice level, to keep it from trembling as he heard her pick her way carefully through the darkness of the room to the dimness of the balcony in the last lingering light of dusk. He didn't turn as she approached, afraid his glowing eyes would startle her if they appeared suddenly in the darkness.

How long had it been since he'd had to worry about that with Kitty? He hunched himself further, tail lashing, as his stomach tightened with nerves, unconsciously preparing for a blow. He briefly considered teleporting away, too strung out to face this conversation right now, but new,new, dimly, that it was her right to pick the time and place for this confrontation and he wouldn't deny her that. He just hoped Logan didn't show up until _after_ she'd finished ripping him a new asshole.

He'd been able to feel exactly where she was as she approached, yet he almost jumped right out of his skin when he felt a small hand settle on his shoulder.

"Ach, Kaetzchen," he began in a rush, "I'm so, so sorry Liebe, so..."

"Will you stop it and look at me," she interrupted him impatiently, her hand tightening its grip on his shoulder and making as if to pull him around. "Just stop it alright!" Her voice was angry now and sounding close to tears as he obeyed, placing his hands on the railing so that he could lower his feet to the floor and turn to meet her eyes.

He was totally unprepared when, without even waiting for him to finish turning, she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. Every muscle in his body was tense and he almost didn't dare to breathe as her muffled voice drifted out from the folds of his rumpled shirt, "Oh Fuzzy, I can't believe we've spent an entire week _doing_ this to each other!"

"Was?" he mumbled, hardly able to find his voice or believe what was happening. She wasn't screaming? Wasn't afraid? She was _touching_ him? "Was wir hat, Machen sind gewesen? Ach, Gott, ich bin sehr verwirrt." It seemed his command of the English language had failed him entirely.

Kitty pushed back from him, just far enough to look up into his face, and there was a spark of laughter behind the glint of tears in her eyes, "English Fuzzy, I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Liebchen, I don't...I don't understand," Kurt's voice was no longer steady and he had lifted his arms as though to return Kitty's embrace, but he couldn't quite bring himself to put them around her. "Was have we been doing to each other? I...I thought you were, that you were...angry mit me...disgusted mit me..._afraid of me_." His voice had dropped to almost a whisper and his arms had fallen back to his sides as he spoke. It was only through sheer force of will that he managed to maintain eye contact, so fearful was he of seeing the emotions he had just named reflected in her eyes.

"Oh Kurt," she said in a sad voice, reaching one small hand up to cup his furry cheek. "I could never be afraid of you, not anymore. I...I thought that _you_ were upset at _me_, for...for what I did...what I said," and her eyes shifted away in embarrassment. "I thought that you were...angry and...and disgusted with how I threw myself at you and then...," she had blushed crimson to the roots of her hair and her voiceilediled off uncertainly. He could tell that she was thinking of what had happened at the end, when he'd...lost control. He could feel an answering blush rising in his cheeks and was glad that it was hidden under his fur. _Ach, imagine being thankful for *fur*. I guess it comes in handy sometimes._

"Nein, Kaetzchen, nein," his voice was soft now, soothing, and he finally lifted his arms to wrap them gently around her hips as he spoke, eyes closed against the embarrassment. "I was angry with myself Kleine sho should not have...have taken advantage of your pain...and..."

"Oh, stop it Kurt!" Her voice was sharp, and his eyes snapped open to gaze down at her in confusion. "Just stop it," and her voice was only marginally softer now, "you didn't 'take advantage' of me Kurt Wagner, I threw myself at you like some oversexed nympho! I wouldn't take no for an answer even when you tried to stop things if you'll bother to remember you fuzzy idiot!" He could feel his eyes going progressively wider throughout this tirade. "In fact," she added in a softer voice now, "I almost didn't take no for an answer at all. Thank you Kurt, for protecting me," and she reached up again to gently cup his cheek. As she softly stroked the downy fur of his face, he didn't think it prudent to remind her that what he'd been protecting her from was himself.

He nearly stepped back in shock as her hand purposely moved the short distance required to slip around the back of his neck and pull his head down to her. He almost resisted the gentle pressure...almost, but...her moist lips were parted just enough that her delicate pink tongue was barely visible between white teeth, and...he could smell just the faintest hint of...strawberries.

He felt his breath catch in his throat as their lips met and...parted...and the whole world narrowed down to the soft warmth of her lips...the taste of her mouth...the feel of her body pressed against him as he tightened his arms around her and his tail snaked out to wrap itself around her thigh. He could feel her hands shifting, tugging at the hem of his shirt until she had pulled it loose and could reach beneath it, running her hands through the fur on his back...her nails scraping lightly through the nap to his skin as she ruffled it the wrong way. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue out to run along her lips and teeth, felt her gently suck on it as he moaned and raised one hand to the back of her head, the other reaching down to grasp her backside while his tail tip flicked lightly across the bare skin just below the hem of her cropped pants. Her hands drifted down in turn, beginning to slip beneath the waist band of his pants and...

_This is *wrong*. Scheisse, I've been dating Amanda for months and we've never gone this far. We're going to end up right back where we were last Saturday._ With a groan of effort he broke the kiss and, moving his hands to Kitty's shoulders, pushed her gently away. Her eyes were wide and her moist lips still slightly parted as she looked accusingly up at him. It took him a moment to catch his breath enough to speak.

"What are we doing Kaetzchen?" he asked softly, hesitantly. He was surprised at how thick has accent sounded to his own ears. "We have been friends...good friends...for months Liebchen. Why are we doing this now?" He had to rush to force himself to finish whe nhe needed to say. "Saturday... that...that was about stress and, maybe, fear and *definitely* about large quantities of overactive hormones Kaetzchen. But, but what is this today?" He didn't know what answer he expected, but he had to ask. He had to know what she thought this was about, because he wasn't at all sure what it meant to him. There was no doubt about what his body was telling him, but that wasn't the only thing that mattered here. Not with Kaetzchen, not with a friend.

"Don't tell me you don't want this Kurt. Maybe I am being...forward and, and *brazen* and... Oh, I don't know! But don't tell me you don't want this just as much as I do." Her voice was low and urgent and her eyes were burning into him. "I don't know where it came from Kurt, or what it's about. I don't want to analyze it into the ground. I just know that on Saturday it...it felt *right* to be with you. That...that I wanted to...to be with you...more than I've ever wanted, you know...that...with anyone before." She was looking away now, embarrassed by her words but determined to get them out, and as she spoke he found himself irrationally focused on the warm sweep of dark lashes against her cheeks.

He cleared his throat, trying to find his voice to speak but she looked up, meeting his eyes again as she laid her fingertips against his lips. "I'm not finished Fuzzy," she said softly, almost pleadingly. "Let me finish?"

He nodded mutely, suppressing a shudder at the feeling her soft fingers against his mouth sent through his body.

"Kurt, I...I just know that...Well, that since last Saturday I haven't been able to stop thinking about...you...and about *us* and..."

She was interrupted by the sound of Kurt's door being thrown roughly open. They sprang apart as though burned as Logan's gruff voice echoed through the nearly empty room. "Hey, Elf! Ya ready?"

"Ja, Herr Logan, I'm coming. I'll, I'll meet you downstairs in a moment, bitte?" Kurt called back to the older man, pleased to note that his voice neither trembled nor cracked despite his surprise.

"'kay Elf, I'll get suited up and be wai. D. Don't take too long," and Kurt saw Kitty relax as they heard the door shut behind the older mutant.

"It looks like we'll have to continue this...conversation...later, nein?" he asked her softly. "I have an appointment with a certain vicious sociopath in the Danger Room and being late is usually frowned upon, ja?" He tried to put on a grin for her but knew that it wasn't one of his more successful attempts. He wasn't quite sure what to make of this entire situation and he was simply too physically and emotionally exhausted to be able to slip easily into a 'mask' right now. She seemed to appreciate the attempt however.

"Yeah Fuzzy, you'd better get going," she told him with her own weak attempt at a smile. "You don't want to get on Mr. Logan's bad side, do you? But, you know, his timing? It, like, sucks!"

Her descent into valley girlese for the first time since entering his room seemed to break some of the tension and he felt the the smile he aimed at her this time was considerably more genuine than the last.

She paused, looking into his eyes, then reached out and swatted him lightly on the chest. "Go on, shoo!" They both laughed and he raised his arms to "protect"selfself from any further attacks as he turned to leave.

"All right, all right, I'm leaving," he told her through his laughter. "But you didn't seem quite so eager to get rid of me just a moment ago, Liebchen."

He was heading through the french doors back into his room, preparing to grab his swords on the way to the locker room, when he was stopped by her voice behind him.

"I'm still not, Fuzzy, but I *know* better than to let you keep Logan waiting," he turned to look at her, eyes glowing in the darkness of the room, one three-fingered hand on the door frame. "And Kurt, we will finish... this...later, right?" she asked. Something in her voice sent a shiver of anticipation down his spine.



_Well, *that* was unexpected,_ Logan thought to himself as he headed down ttairtairs on his way to the service elevator and the sub-basement. _Whatever's been goin' on maybe Elf and Half-Pint are gonna get it worked out. Just sure as hell hope it makes things better, not worse, 'cause the kid's damn close to slippin' off the edge as it is._


Was wir hat, machen sind gewesen? - What have we been doing?
Ich bin sehr verwirrt - I am so confused.
Bitte - please or you're welcome
mit - with
Scheiss - shit