Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

One more freakin' hindrance to posting I did not need!! I have a twenty pound Tom cat sitting on my desk right now trying to get to the birds at the window feeder.

Special thanks to Taikwondodo (I think I spelled that right) You, my dear have given me so much encouragement. Thanks!!

Okay, here's some Kurt and Logan for youse guys!

Chapter 80

A sliver of sunlight stole in through the gap in the curtains, washing Kurt’s face with warmth. He opened his eyes to an otherwise dark room, the light tracing a slim line down the bed.

Logan lay in the curve of Kurt’s arm, head on his shoulder still sound asleep. Kurt kissed Logan’s hair and brushed a hand over the errant wave that would not be tamed.

He lay there still drowsy and felt the aches of strained muscles waking far too soon. Other aches and little niggling pains reminded Kurt of the night before, memories seeping back into his waking mind, bringing with it an uneasiness of spirit.

Mouth dry and head thick, Kurt worked for a swallow that reminded him of how long it had been since he’d drank that much beer. His bladder was waking as well, but not enough to get him out of bed.

And Kurt didn’t yet want to disturb Logan. Most nights since his rescue, Logan had slept little, nightmares haunting him and Kurt would wake to find Logan standing and staring into the darkness as if he could change the past by doing so.

This peaceful sleep was a strange reward for the violent night just passed when they’d fought and fucked and come to some conclusions about what they were to each other.

They were each other’s curse and salvation, needing, wanting...loving and no one else on earth could help either of them through what they’d endured except each other.

Kurt tentatively ran a finger along Logan’s jaw, feeling the night’s growth of beard. Logan was the only man Kurt had ever known who could grow a two day beard overnight.

Closing his eyes once more, Kurt dozed, not caring about the time for they were on no one’s schedule but their own.

He woke with Logan stirring beside him, a hand going up to rub at closed eyes and Kurt wondered at this love he’d found, not easy in any way, but satisfying in ways he’d never dreamed.

Again, Kurt placed a kiss on Logan’s hair and felt his lover’s hand slide down his body, stroking his fur.

“Good morning, Logan,” Kurt murmured.

Logan took a deep breath and let it out in a yawn, head tilting to meet Kurt’s gaze. “Mornin’, elf. Hmmm. Yer a beautiful sight first thing. How ya feelin’?”

A smile stole across Kurt’s face with Logan’s compliment. “Ah...achy, but okay.”

“That might change for the worse when ya actually try to get up and move. What time is it?”

Kurt turned enough to see the bedside clock. “10:30ish. We’re suppose to check out at 11:00.”

“Screw 11:00,” Logan growled. “It ain’t gonna happen.”

“Are we riding today?”

Logan rolled out of Kurt’s arms and lay on his back, hands going to his face to rub vigorously. “You up for it?”

“I...yes, I want to move on.”

Turning a sharp gaze on him, Logan said, “ya afraid the management might have had complaints about us?”

Kurt let out a breathless huff of a laugh. “I can’t imagine otherwise, what with all the growling and howling and moaning and carrying on we did.”

Logan laughed. “I guess we were a little noisy.”

“You tried to tear the door off its hinges.”

“If I had been tryin’, darlin’, it would’ve been done.”

“What’s with this darlin’ thing lately?” Kurt rolled to his side and gazed at his bed partner.

Logan frowned. “Can’t say, elf. Somethin’ I used to say a lot...I think.”

Kurt leaned up over Logan and bent to kiss him. “As long as I’m the only one you call that, fine.”

Logan’s hands wrapped around Kurt’s waist and stroked down over his ass. “No problem. Yer the only darlin’ in my life.”

“Good,” Kurt replied and planted a kiss on Logan’s nose. “I’d better go start the coffee maker and get a shower.”

Logan didn’t let him go. “Ya sure ya wanna to do that right now?” Logan’s tone was suggestive.

“Oh, Logan, the libido is willing but my ass can’t take another round so soon. I’m really sore.”

Logan’s grip turned hard, his hold on Kurt possessive. “You can take it. I’ll go easy on ya..” Pulling Kurt closer, Logan’s mouth landed on his as hard as his hold. Fingers worked into his hair, holding Kurt’s head immobile.

Kurt struggled against Logan, trying to push away without stirring Logan’s inner beast.

“Where ya think yer goin’, darlin’?” Logan growled, his mouth moving to Kurt’s neck.

“Logan,” Kurt said, breathlessly. “I mean it. No. I...I can’t take it right now. Please...don’t.”

But Logan wasn’t listening, his mind ruled by his body...and the dark animalism of desire and instinct.

“Logan, don’t make me----” With a quick maneuver, Logan flipped Kurt over, hands groping down his back, holding him down. “Logan! I mean it.”

Kurt teleported, deliberately leaving Logan alone on the bed. Distraught, but determined, Kurt recovered his balance, five feet away, out of Logan’s reach. He swallowed the lump in his throat and met hard eyes, fire sparking, a cross between desire and frustration.

Logan drew in a sharp breath, teeth gritted together. He stared hard at Kurt for one long endless moment then pushing up off the bed, headed for the bathroom without another look at Kurt.

“Logan, don’t do this!” Kurt cried out, turning as Logan shoved by him. The door slammed shut with a thud of finality. “Don’t make me the bad guy...please.”

Shuffling to the bed, Kurt sat in sudden dejected depression. Should he have given in even if giving in meant he’d be in worse shape that he already was? Another round of sex like last night so soon after and he wouldn’t be able to ride for days. Yet, somehow he felt like the bad guy, holding out on Logan, not fulfilling his lover’s needs.

What about my needs? What about my pain?

Kurt put his face in his hands and rubbed, trying to make sense of a world he no longer recognized. He heard the door finally open, heard Logan’s barefoot steps. He felt Logan close, standing before him beside the bed.

Dropping his hands away, Kurt looked up, dread in his heart at what he’d see in Logan’s eyes.
That dark gaze met his, glinting in the morning light, yet a softness radiated out, a loving gaze full of sorrow and regret.

Logan reached out, fingers caressing Kurt’s hair, hand sliding along his face to cup his chin in a
gentle grip, thumb stroking. “Yer not the bad guy, baby...I am. I’m sorry, elf. I was bein’ selfish. I know yer hurtin’ from the poundin’ I gave you last night. You have the right to say no when ya wanna. I never have the right to force you. Can ya forgive me...please?”

“Oh Logan,” Kurt said and reached out in return and tugged Logan onto the bed. “All’s forgiven. Come here and I’ll make it better...for both of us.”

Logan lay beside Kurt, stroking fur and hair and Kurt stroked in return, soft skin over hard muscle and wild hair that had a mind of its own. He slid a hand down Logan’s chest, tweaking hardening nipples then continuing down the stomach to grasp Logan’s rock hard shaft.

Logan’s eyes closed and a moan slipped from soft lips, a sigh following when Kurt pressed his mouth to Logan’s. Kurt kissed along Logan’s chin, tongue licking out at collar bone, sucking a bruise on Logan’s neck. He latched onto a hard nipple and sucked and nipped and sucked again all the while his hand working Logan’s cock.

“No,” Logan snarled, hands wrapping around Kurt’s arms and pushing him back. “This ain’t right.”

Logan shoved up to sit and ran his fingers back through his hair.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked, sitting back on his knees.

“What’s wrong is that I don’t deserve to be rewarded for acting like a prick of an asshole. For treating you like that. Call it what ya want, but the last time I looked, me forcin’ you is called rape.”

Kurt’s shoulders slumped and he looked down, his mind in confusion. He didn’t want to define Logan’s previous actions as the preliminary to rape...but Kurt had said no repeatedly and Logan had ignored him.

“I...didn’t think of it as a reward. I...I was just trying to find a compromise for you...and me. For both of us.”

A hand touched Kurt’s face, fingers on his chin and jaw, lifting his gaze back to Logan’s. “Yeah, that’s yer nature, elf. Lookin’ for alternate solutions to a bad situation.”

Kurt reached up and stroked Logan’s hand on his face. “I want things right between us, Logan. I don’t want to fight.”

Logan’s grip on Kurt’s chin tightened. “But ya gotta stand up for yerself, elf. Ya can’t let guys like me run over ya just so ya don’t gotta fight.”

Kurt pulled away and settled back against the headboard. “I do stand up for myself.” He heard defiance in his own voice. “I stayed last night because I wanted to stay. And this morning I stood against you even though I knew you’d be angry with me.”

Logan’s eyes glistened with emotion. “I’m not angry with you, sweetheart. I wasn’t even when ya “pop” away from me. I’m angry with me. With this lack of control. I’m lashin’ out at you when you’re the last person I should lash out at. I can’t stand the thought that I might drive you away.”

Kurt reached out a hand and gripped Logan’s pulling Logan to sit beside him. “You won’t drive me away, Logan. I don’t want it to be like this all the time, but I’ll stay with you and we’ll find a way to get this...whatever it is...under control again.”

Kurt let his hand stray down Logan’s thigh and notice Logan’s cock still hard. His own hardon had disappeared, but it could easily be retrieved.

“Let me make you feel better. Let me take care of your needs,” Kurt said and slid his hand up Logan’s chest, turning his lover’s face to his. Kurt leaned in and Logan’s hand on his back drew him close for a kiss. But the kiss turned chaste and Logan simply stroked a hand down Kurt’s arm then pulled away, climbing off the bed.

“Not right now,” Logan said, turning his attention to rummaging in his backpack for clothing. “I don’t deserve to feel better right now, elf. I’m gonna get a shower. Go on and make the coffee.”

“Logan. Please...let’s...let’s go home. The Professor can help you. He can help you get control again.”

Logan looked up and an expression of desperate desire worked its way across his face. Almost as quickly, a continence of shame fell like a mask descending. Logan’s confession of last night haunted Kurt and images of what might cause such shame lingered at the edges of his mind.

“I...I can’t, elf. Ya gotta understand. I gotta work this thing out. I can’t let Charles see what’s inside my head. It’s too much ta ask of him.”

“But you know that it’s not.”

That desperation came and went one more time then Logan shook his head making the decision final...for now.

“Let’s just get on the road for a while, sweetheart. We’ll find a restaurant and grab some lunch then put a few miles on the bike. Maybe we can start over tonight.”

Kurt nodded though his heart hurt and something mean and ugly was pulling at his insides like a badger trying to rip its way out of his stomach.