Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

Did I promise juicy? Well, if this ain't juicy...juicy don't exist.


Quoted song lyrics copyright Lynryd Skynryd (hope I spelled that right)


Chapter 77


Kurt woke to darkness, the bed beside his empty. His heart lurched, pounding hard in his chest. He flung a glance to the bathroom, but no sound came from the room, the dim light showing him an open door and no Logan inside.

He shoved up out of bed and glanced at the bedside table. The digital clock read 12:28am. Pushing back the curtain, Kurt did a quick scan of the parking lot.

No Logan. But the bike was there. Relief flooded through Kurt and he felt terrible for even thinking Logan would ever leave him here alone on the outskirts of a town he’d never been in before. But then Logan wasn’t Logan right now and anything was possible.

He stared out the window to the restaurant across the street where he’d gone only hours earlier for burgers and fries, remembering the bar attached and the pool tables he’d seen through the swinging doors.

Kurt pulled on his clothing and punched his image inducer. He still looked young for a bar, but he hoped he’d find Logan there...if for no other reason than it would ease his mind.

Slipping out the motel door, Kurt made sure the key was in his pocket. He strolled across the street, trying to quell his anxiety for even if Logan was there, he didn’t know if he’d be welcome just then. Not with the mood Logan had been in earlier in the evening...in fact, ever since he’d forced his company on Logan by insisting on coming with him on this journey to nowhere in particular.

Music drifted out through the closed barroom door, a deep bass rumble and thump of country music.

This place was not his style. Country music was not his idea of music and the line of pickup trucks gave Kurt an uneasy feeling. Logan would love this place.

What did Bobby call guys that drove pickups with gun racks in the back window?

Rednecks.

Great. Even if Kurt didn’t quite get the meaning of the lingo, the word set off warning bells just from the sound of it.

He pushed through the door and squinted, adjusting his eyes to the smoke and the dimness of light. Kurt saw well in the dark, but even his eyes took a moment to adjust to the smoky twilight in the room.

The music swelled over him, a southern rock tune he’d heard before.

Give me three steps, give me three steps, mister.
Give me three steps towards the door.
Give me three steps, give me three steps, mister.
And you’ll never see me no more.

The song’s chorus sent a shiver of foreboding down Kurt’s back and he hoped the words weren’t an omen of things to come.

His eyes adjusted now, Kurt took a tentative step in and began to scan the room, searching the nooks and crannies for any sign of Logan. The pool tables were in an adjacent room and the sound of cues smacking balls wafted over to Kurt.

Kurt felt eyes on him, hard and cold, marking him as a target perhaps. He took a deep breath and let it out, pushing into the crowd and heading for the pool room.

Half way across the room a hand slipped around his biceps and jerked him to a halt.

“Hey,” a middle-aged woman in a tight tee shirt and jeans said to him, pitching her voice over the music and laughter and conversation. “Ya look a little young for this place, sweetness.”

“I’m old enough,” Kurt lied in a confident bravado. “Want to see my I.D.?”

She offered him a smirk. “Like I care. Are ya here to drink or just admirin’ the place?”

“I’m looking for someone.”

“As cute as you are, yer likely to find someone.” She nodded towards a girl leaning on the bar. “Kelly over there likes ‘em pretty like you. She don’t cost much neither. Buy her a few drinks and she’ll treat ya real nice.”

Kurt felt his face grow warm. He glanced towards the girl named Kelly, a bleached blond with breasts the size of melons and a skirt up to her ass. She gave him a little wave and a painted on smile. He smiled back, but felt his stomach lurch a little.

Had he totally lost his attraction to girls?

Turning back to the older woman, Kurt said, “I’m looking for someone in particular. Maybe you’ve seen him. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Not too tall. Muscular.”

“Hmmm. Yeah, in the pool room. Last table in the corner. He’s playin’ alone and he seems to like it that way. I wouldn’t mess with that one if I were you, sweetness. I know trouble when I see him. That one’s dangerous.”

Kurt offered the woman a knowing expression. “He is dangerous, but only if you make him mad. I hardly ever make him mad.”

Her eyebrows rose. “It’s your life. He looks like he’s ready for a refill. Come on over to the bar and you can deliver it personally.”

Kurt followed, digging out a five.

She set down two mugs of draft. “Three bucks, sweetness. Drafts on special tonight.”

“Keep the change.”

“Big tipper and with a nice accent too,” she purred at him. “Ya buy me a few drinks and I’ll make a man outta ya tonight.”

Kurt licked his dry lips and let out a weak laugh. “Thanks. I...appreciate the offer.”

She gave him a wink that told him she was messing with him and he turned away, winding his way across the room, deftly avoiding collisions with drunks and nearly drunks who would be out on the road in a few hours when the bar closed down and they were certain they were sober enough to get home even after a night of guzzling beer and whiskey.

Logan was right where the woman said he’d be, sizing up a shot with his back to Kurt, tight jeans and tee shirt reminding Kurt part of the reason he was so attracted to Logan. Ball smacked ball and the number six disappeared down the left corner pocket. Logan straightened, scanning the table. His snake skin boots rapped the wooden floor when he moved to take his next shot.

The smells in the room must have masked Kurt’s scent for he was less than five feet from Logan and Logan seemed completely oblivious to Kurt’s presence.

Kurt stepped around the table, leaned against the wall and took a sip of one of the beers. The draft was cold and light in taste, not like they served in Germany.

Logan’s eyes rose, hard and dark, taking him in with a look Kurt wasn’t used to having directed his way.

Kurt tried for nonchalance and held out Logan’s beer. “The lady at the bar said you were ready for a refill.”

Logan’s eyes didn’t warm much. He came around the table and slammed the cue’s end down on the floor.

“Whataya doin’ here, elf? Yer not old enough to be in a place like this.”

Kurt took another sip and set Logan’s beer down on the edge of the pool table, tired of holding it.

“The lady at the bar didn’t seem to care.”

“Go on back to bed,” Logan commanded. “Before ya get in trouble with one of these punks.”

Logan turned his back on Kurt, checking out his next shot as if that was the end of that. Kurt found a stool nearby, drew it closer and sat with his back against the wall to watch Logan play solitaire pool, sipping his beer with relish.

Ignoring him, Logan moved around the table, each shot slamming into the pocket with a little more force than the last. The table cleared, Logan racked them up and shot a glance over to Kurt.

“Ya tryin’ to get on my nerves, kid?”

“I didn’t say a word,” Kurt replied, shoving the pain of Logan’s harsh treatment away from his heart. “I’m just watching.”

Logan let out a low growl and lined up to break the racked balls. Three balls went in and Logan grabbed up his new beer and guzzled half of it down.

Kurt doubted Logan ever got very drunk, his metabolism racing to clear the alcohol from his system at a high rate of speed.

“Ya shouldn’t be drinkin’,” Logan stated. “All I need is for the authorities to get wind of that.”

“It’s one beer, Logan. Chill out, dude.”

Logan was in his face in a millisecond. “What did you say?” he growled.

Kurt leaned back away from Logan’s snarl. “Nothing,” he squeaked. “Just...play pool and I’ll watch quietly. Promise.”

Logan’s eyes softened some and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Bowing his head, Logan said, “sorry, elf. I’m not good company. I tried ta tell ya that, but ya wouldn’t listen.”

“It’s all right...I, I don’t care,” Kurt replied. “Just let me be around. Okay? I won’t talk. I won’t bother you. I...just...felt alone in the motel room...and lonely.”

Logan looked like he wanted to reach out to Kurt, eyes devouring him, but Logan knew better than to get too touchy feely in a place like this and so did Kurt.
“Yeah. Okay. You can watch.” Logan started to turn back to the table.

“Maybe some day you’ll teach me?” Kurt offered just to get the last word in.

Logan rounded on him again with incredulity etched on his face. “Ya never played pool?”

Kurt shook his head and took another sip of beer, realizing he’d found one of Logan’s few weak spots. “Never. It’s a part of my education I’m sorely lacking in.”

Logan’s eyes lit up. He obviously had a passion for pool. “Well, come on. Might as well learn now if yer not gonna do what I tell ya and go back ta bed.”

Trying to hide a smile of pleasure, Kurt jumped down from the stool and set aside his half empty mug.

“Okay,” Logan said. “Ya got a cue, that’s this stick ya hit the balls with. Ya hit one ball to hit another ball and send it into one of the pockets on the table.”

“Right,” Kurt replied. “That much I know. I just don’t know how it’s done.”

“Here.” Logan reached for another cue from the rack on the wall and handed it to Kurt. “Do what I do.”

Logan took a stance at the table and Kurt tried to emulate the posture. He glanced at Logan’s hands and how he held the cue and knew he was going to have trouble.

In a low voice Kurt said, “I don’t have enough fingers.”

Logan tapped the table in frustration. “Just see if you can get the cue stable enough to slide...like this.” Logan demonstrated as if he had only two fingers and a thumb.

With practice, Kurt felt the cue slide easily. “I’m ready to try.”

“Great. Give it a shot.”

Kurt lined up a ball as he’d seen Logan do and let off a shot. The ball tapped the edge of the pocket but didn’t go in.

“Damn,” Kurt muttered.

“Pretty good for yer first shot, elf,” Logan said, sounding more like the Logan Kurt loved. “Take another go at it.”

Kurt practiced and Logan took shots in between. They’d cleared the table and the middle-aged woman sauntered over, giving Logan a wary glance.

“Two more beers, boys?”

“One more,” Logan stated. “He’s had all he’s having.”

“Tyrant,” Kurt said in a sour tone and finished off his beer in one long gulp.

“Feel lucky I haven’t booted yer pretty butt out of here myself, elf.”

“Logan,” Kurt chastised. “Don’t talk like that...not here anyway.”

The bar lady gave a harsh laugh. “If I didn’t know better....”

“Don’t even go there, sister,” Logan warned. “And go ahead and bring the kid another beer...make it a lite though.”

Kurt grinned when Logan turned back to him. “Some day, sweetheart. Some day.”

“Promises. Promises. Now, let’s play another game.”

Logan racked up the balls and the woman came again with a concerned expression and a glance back at the bar door. A group of young men looking like they’d just come off second shift...or maybe just making the rounds, pushed through the door and headed for the bar.

She set down their beers and gave Logan a sheepish expression. “Um, I don’t suppose you’re about done with this table.”

Logan leaned possessively against the battered wood. “Not even close. Me and the kid were just gettin’ warmed up.”

She bit her lip. “Ya see those guys that just came in?”

Kurt glanced and thought them rough looking.

“What’s it to me?” Logan replied, lighting up a cigar.

“This is their favorite table. They’re in here about every night this time. We’d just like to avoid any...trouble. You know. I thought maybe a few beers on the house and you’d clear the way for them to play.”

Logan stared hard at the group of men, five of them, summing them up and a little mean smile touched Logan’s mouth.

“I don’t think so. Maybe if they asked real nice like...but ya know, they don’t seem the type to ask real nice like. And there’s a table right over there empty as can be. Let ‘em play there.”

The woman let out a sigh. “Sweetness,” she said to Kurt. “Stay out of the way when the cues and fists start flyin’. I’d hate to see anything happen to that pretty face of yours.” She turned then and stalked away, trying to explain to the men who were already looking their way.

“Logan. Let’s just give up the table. We don’t need the trouble either.”

“Maybe you don’t,” Logan said in that dangerous tone that worried Kurt of late. “But trouble’s just what I might need right now.”

He puffed on his cigar then sucked down a third of his beer and Kurt watched with that foreboding washing over him once again.

“Come on, elf. Take yer shot...while we still got some peace.”

Kurt let out a sigh, took a big swig of his second beer and tried to concentrate on the arrangement of the balls on the table. He took his shot and actually put a ball down one of the pockets and turned a triumphant smile on Logan. His smile faded when he found five big guys in flannel shirts and jeans, work boots and mean looks coming towards them.

“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” Kurt offered and stepped back as if just allowing Logan room to take aim.

“I’m just gettin’ started, darlin’,” Logan shot back and casually put the seven down the right corner pocket.

That ‘darlin’ again. Just what Kurt needed. Another nickname.

“Hey, you and the pretty boy,” one of the five said to Logan. The guy was perhaps twenty five, blond and blue-eyed and in need of a shave. A half a head taller than Logan, the man looked down his nose with a bravado sneer working it’s way across his lips. “You’re playin’ at our table. Move it or lose it.”

Kurt kept his face still, not reacting in any way to the intimidating postures of the men now standing in a semi-circle around the table.

Definitely rednecks.

Logan aimed again without looking up and made another shot, the ball slamming into the pocket as if sucked down by a vacuum. Logan stood straight and had to look up into the hard face staring down at him.

That mean little grin pulled at Logan’s mouth once more and his dark eyes gleamed, ready for a fight and Kurt understood Logan’s need, understood that desire to prove something to himself if not the world in general.

Unfortunately, Kurt understood it all too well.

Mystique had stolen something vital from Logan, something deep inside ripped out while she held him prisoner, helpless to help himself. He still knew so little of what his mother had actually done to Logan, but Kurt sensed it was brutal and physical, mental and emotional...and sexual.

That Logan was a little crazy right now was a given. And given Logan’s tendency towards solving the simplest problems with violence, Kurt understood Logan perhaps relishing someone bringing him a righteous fight, one he might lose himself in and release some of the pent up rage seething inside of him.

“No claws, Logan,” Kurt said in a low voice and backed off to a safe distance. His action wasn’t lost on the five.

“I don’t need ‘em ta take care a these punks. Now why don’t you head on back, elf?” Logan flung over to him without taking his eyes off the men. “Ain’t enough of ’em for both of us.”

“No can do,” Kurt flung back, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms against his chest. He held onto the pool cue just in case he ended up needing it. “Somebody’s got to make sure you don’t kill any of them.”

That sent a mutter of unease through the men. The rest of the room had gone quiet, others now watching, the tension of a fight coming on like the still air just before a lightning storm. The music still thumped from the speakers as if all was well with the world.

The same man who had spoken before stepped closer. He wasn’t the biggest of them physically, but obviously the biggest trouble maker. “I said beat it!” He reached out and gave Logan a weighty shove.

Logan hardly moved. He’d been ready.

Kurt moved down the wall another foot, getting an angle where he could still see Logan’s face. That mean little smile broadened.

“Thanks for makin’ my day, bub,” Logan growled and punched the guy hard in the stomach and followed up with a roundhouse punch to the jaw sending the rowdy falling backwards into his buddies. Logan shifted to a fighting stance and made a forward motion with his hands. “Come on. Let’s do it if we’re doin’ it, ladies, or get the hell outta my face.”

Looks of uncertainty flashed between the remaining bullies while the leader tried to recover his breath.

“Go on,” somebody yelled. “You can take him.”

Kurt sighed. That was all these guys needed. Encouragement. He sipped his beer and the fight started in earnest, Logan wading in, tired of waiting on the others to make a move. As far as Logan was concerned, he had already been provoked.

Kurt dodged a flannel and jean clad body that slammed into the wall next to him. He took another gulp from his mug and jabbed the end of his cue into the man’s stomach. Doubled over, the bully slumped against the wall and moaned in pain.

One of the rowdies caught Kurt’s action and came at him, thinking him an easy target.

“Ya okay over there, elf?” Logan asked, banging heads together and watching two more bodies fall. More bullies came out of the crowd, obviously not learning the lesson Logan was dishing out. Logan backhanded a big burly guy, sending him flying across a nearby table, turning it over and scattering the occupants.

“No problem. But thanks for your concern.” The long stick flashed and arced. His attacker stumbled back to fall over his buddy. Kurt whacked him in the jaw just to make sure he was down and slammed back the rest of his beer.

Okay, now he was beginning to feel the buzz.

More rowdies headed their way, too much beer making them brave. Kurt was certain they would regret their actions in the morning.

“Enough for both of us now?” Kurt asked in a sour tone.

Logan didn’t answer. He went to a half crouch and snarled, fist clenched.

The jukebox went silent, the last dollar song played out and Kurt wished the same would happen with this fight. He prayed nobody would be stupid enough to pull a knife.

Again, Logan didn’t wait for the attack, going on the offensive with zeal and gusto. Logan’s agility still amazed Kurt considering Logan’s stocky, muscular build, yet Logan leapt like a cat, kicked like a double jointed mule and whirled like a dervish dancer.

None of his attackers remained standing two minutes later.

A pile of moaning, groaning bodies lay at Logan’s feet and with eyes wild as the eyes of his alter ego, Logan scanned the room.

“Any more takers?” he growled.

There was a sudden interest by all in the bottoms of their beer mugs.

“Pussies,” Logan muttered and stalked over to where he’d left his beer and downed it in one long gulp. “Hey,” Logan said, signaling the woman bartender. “Another.” He held up his beer mug. “And ya wanna get somebody over here to clean up this garbage?”

The woman’s mouth went tight holding back a grin, but nodded.

A few guys came, offering wary disgruntled expressions on their rugged faces. But not a one said a word. Not a one managed to hold Logan’s stare, each flinching away from his hard, dangerous glare. They hauled their friends up, getting them on their feet and lead them away to nurse their sore heads and beers.

That obsidian quality hadn’t left Logan’s eyes, a gleam as sharp as claws flashing still. Kurt watched Logan retrieve his cue and take aim, sending a ball skidding across the table to slam another into a pocket. Logan took another then another shot, not even looking up at Kurt, nor acknowledging his presence.

The woman came with two more beers and this time, Logan didn’t protest. Kurt paid for the drinks and sucked at his, trying to quell the unease beginning to rise once again inside him.

The fight had done nothing to dampen the blaze of Logan’s rage, the fire only burning brighter. Would blood have to be spilled to quench this lust inside Logan? Or was there some other way to spend the energy of his lover’s darker nature?

Kurt took another gulp of beer, realizing he was starting to get a little drunk. He eased up on the barstool and watched Logan stalk the table as if the balls were his prey.

Glancing up and across the room, Kurt caught the girl, Kelly, watching him. She waved again, one of those little finger waves and Kurt offered back a half smile not wanting to be rude. She took his smile as encouragement and started across the floor towards him, the hem of her skirt riding high, the belt riding low. Her cowboy boots tapped as if in rhythm to the music once again playing.

She had a nice figure and the swing of her hips made heads turn. Her bleached hair would have been prettier in its natural color, but some men seemed to take to blonds and Kelly looked like somebody easily swayed by what men thought.

Kurt slid a glance over to Logan and took another gulp of beer. Logan paid him no attention, too wrapped up in the game and his own dark thoughts.

Kelly sidled up close and Kurt leaned back away from her.

“Hi, there,” she said, smelling of roses and smoke and some sweet alcoholic drink. Her cleavage sent signals through Kurt’s body, reminding him that once he had dated a girl...liked girls very much, the way they walked and talked and flirted mercilessly.

“Hi,” he croaked. “Uh, hullo.”

“I’m Kelly.”

“Kurt...my name...is Kurt.”

“Oooh, you’ve got yerself an accent. Where ya from?”

“Germany.” Kurt felt his color rising and his throat had gone dry. His took another gulp of beer and tried to think through the haze of alcohol.

“Germany. Yer a long way from home, ain’tcha?”

“Ah well, I’m going to school here...in the States, I mean.”

The rumble of the music and the din of conversation made talking difficult and Kelly leaned a little closer and put her hand on Kurt’s arm. The long sleeve shirt kept her from instantly detecting fur instead of skin.

“Yer awfully cute, Kurt. I bet we could have some fun together. Ya wanna dance?”

Actually, he did, but Kurt felt Logan’s stare on him as suddenly as if someone had opened a freezer and shoved him in.

“No...thank you, I’d better not.”

“Aw, come on, it’ll be fun.” She swung her hips to the beat of the music and wrapped her fingers around his arm, tugging him off his stool.

“He said no, little girly.” Logan’s snarl next to Kurt’s ear startled him. He felt Logan’s hand wrap around his wrist in a possessive grip. “So get your mitts off what ain’t yours.”

The girl stumbled back, almost tripping over her own feet.

“Logan,” Kurt hissed. “We were just talking.”

Logan whirled Kurt around, hand still tight on his wrist. “Just talkin’ huh? Then there’s dancin’. With a floozy like that we all know what comes next.”

Kurt flung a glance to the girl Kelly, embarrassment flushing his face. She regained her footing, straightened her skirt and turned glaring eyes on both of them.

“I ain’t no floozy, mister. I was just bein’ nice.”

“Right,” Logan growled. “Like I don’t know floozy when I see it.”

“Logan, that’s enough,” Kurt injected in a stern voice.

Logan’s eyes flashed and narrowed and the sudden jerk on his wrist surprised Kurt. He dropped his beer mug, the heavy glass thudding on the floor and shattering. Logan didn’t stop to look and Kurt had to follow or be dragged. Now was not the time or place for teleporting no matter how Logan was acting at the moment.

All eyes followed their progress towards the door, Logan shoving his way through the crowd with Kurt in tow.

Kurt wanted to protest the rough handling, wanted Logan to apologize for his behavior. But Kurt doubted he’d get an apology tonight or anything like one.

They were out the door and moving fast across the parking lot and then the street towards the motel. Kurt didn’t struggle. There were still too many people around out in their trucks and cars, lounging in the parking lot. Some decent sort might just try to stop a guy like Logan manhandling a guy like Kurt. He didn’t intend to have anyone’s blood spilled on his account and with the mood Logan was in the possibility was all too...well, possible.

Kurt’s head whirled from the alcohol and it took everything he had to keep his anger at bay, not wanting to stir Logan’s rage with his own. But when Logan nearly ripped the door off its hinges, Kurt snarled. “Let me open it.”

Logan turned a heated gaze on him and this time Kurt didn’t see rage in those black eyes. What he did see was something far darker and perhaps more dangerous.

He fished his key out with shaky fingers, but managed to unlock the door before Logan knocked it down. Logan pushed by him and dragged Kurt in after, slamming the door and locking it, deadbolt thrown for good measure.

Logan turned on him then with only the light from the neon sign outside and the sparse streetlights to light Logan’s features.

The months of love and tenderness fell away and Kurt was slammed back to a sterile white room where he’d been stalked and raped by this man. A wave of terror swept over him, running up his spine like the chill of death. Yet, a thrill ran back down and tingled in his groin.

Logan’s hold on his wrist tightened and he jerked Kurt forward into an iron embrace. Hands groped over Kurt’s body, running up into his hair to get a grip. Logan’s mouth came down hard on his, devouring him and Kurt fought the urge to struggle, hoping to find the words to calm Logan and help him gain control again.

Kurt felt Logan searching for his image inducer and once found, Logan punched it, mundane disguise disappearing in a flicker of light. Pain streaked up Kurt’s arm from the brutal treatment. He gasped around Logan’s mouth and tried to turn his face.

“Logan. Logan! Please! Listen...to me.”

But it was as if Logan had gone deaf...or worse, no longer understood the English language.

“Logan!” Kurt cried out. “You promised!”

Kurt felt his body being lifted and the swirl of alcohol gave him the sense that he was flying, finally landing on his back on the bed with a bounce. Logan was on top of him instantly, hands ripping at the fabric of his shirt, clawing at his belt.

Unmoving, Kurt lay there and Logan’s movements slowed then stopped altogether. Sniffing, Logan nuzzled Kurt’s hair and ear, nipping lightly at his neck. Hands still held Kurt down on the bed, one wrist trapped against the mattress.

Kurt turned his head and met Logan’s gleaming manic gaze and saw something like sanity light in Logan’s eyes.

“You promised, Logan,” Kurt said, his voice quavering. “You promised...it would never be like this again. That you...would never...hurt me again.”

Logan closed his eyes, squeezing them shut. When they opened, sanity had returned, but the darkness still haunted, held at arm’s length and Kurt didn’t know how long this truce would last.

“Why haven’t you popped outta here, elf?” Logan growled low. “I told ya what to do if it...ever came to this. But yer still here. Why?”

Kurt shook his head and tried to work his wrist free. Logan wasn’t ready to let go. “That’s not the answer. My leaving won’t help anything. We need to deal with this, Logan. With this rage inside of you.”

Logan’s eyes went shut again and a silent snarl pulled at his mouth, teeth gritted together.

“Logan.” Kurt managed to work a hand up to Logan’s face, stroking gently. “We can do this together. I can take whatever you dish out, but let me be a participant, not a victim. Please. I love you and I feel like I’m losing you to what...She...did to you.”

Logan shoved up off of Kurt, releasing his hold. Absently, Kurt rubbed his throbbing wrist and pushed up to sit.

“What She did...was bad,” Logan said without looking at Kurt. “But no worse than what you suffered.”

“Really? Why is it then that I don’t quite believe you? I know her, Logan. Mystique is twisted inside. There’s a darkness in her.”

“Dark don’t even begin to describe your momma, elf.”

“What did she do, Logan? Talk to me.”

Finally, Logan looked at him and the depth of pain Kurt saw there hurt like salt in an open wound.

“You didn’t want me to know what Trask and Sabertooth did to you,” Logan stated, almost accusatory.

“But you know. You watched it all on those discs,” Kurt countered.

Logan offered a reluctant nod. Silence enfolded them and Kurt waited. Either Logan would talk to him or not and perhaps the rage would return and Kurt would take the consequences for he would not leave Logan alone with its destructive power.

“If you haven’t figured it out, you haven’t been thinkin’, sweetheart.” Logan’s voice was momentarily empty of emotion.

“I could imagine. But it hurts too much to think of the possibilities very long.”

Logan nodded again. “She did what comes naturally to her. She shape changed...into Sabertooth, into Rogue and Kitty and Jean and Cyke.” Logan was deep in thought now, reliving a horror that Kurt didn’t yet understand. “She liked ta mess with my head, but I always tried to remember it was her, no matter how bad it got. I thought I’d dealt with the worst there was, but I was wrong.”

Logan’s head drooped and his hands went to his face, rubbing hard.

“Logan.” Kurt reached out, sliding a hand down Logan’s arm.

A hissing growl like Kurt had never heard before came out of Logan. Kurt’s skin crawled at the sound of it.

“I know how bad it was for ya, elf. I know how bad Sabertooth hurt you. He’s a real maniac, a psychopath if ever there was one. And Trask wasn’t no picnic neither. But ya can’t imagine what it’s like to get raped by yourself.”

Kurt gasped and pulled back, a hand going to his mouth in horror. “She...she did that to you? Oh mein gott.” Kurt was the one to turn away this time, shame and revulsion washing over him, saturating him with his mother’s evil. “How can I be of her flesh? How can her blood run in my veins?”

The image of Logan hanging helpless by his wrists, ankles enclosed in metal cuffs rose up to assault Kurt’s mind. His thoughts conjured the image of Mystique morphing into a facsimile of Logan, taunting him with his own body and voice and claws. But to take the assault to the next terrible level was almost beyond Kurt’s capacity to imagine. He turned away from the image that splashed across his mind, flinching from it.

Kurt turned back and reached for Logan. For a brief moment, Logan resisted, then relaxed into the embrace, clutching Kurt like a child in need of comforting.

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt murmured, stroking Logan’s hair.

“There’s worse, elf. Things I’m just not up to talkin’ about yet. Maybe never will. Things I’m ashamed of.”

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You don’t know.”

“I don’t need to. Not now anyway.”

The feel of Logan’s touch subtly changed, growing more possessive. Kurt readied himself for whatever came next for Kurt sensed the darkness coming over Logan once again, the need to spend pent up energy of a grim nature.

Logan sniffed him, nuzzling his hair, nipping his ear and the hands groped down Kurt’s body, kneading his muscles with rough intent.

“I need you, elf. I want you,” Logan growled into Kurt’s ear. “It’s not gonna be pretty. It won’t be sweet. But if I don’t do somethin’ soon, I’m gonna explode and then...I can’t say what’ll happen. I don’t know who’ll get hurt.”

Kurt knew he had the power to remove himself from this situation, not like before when he was trapped by a technology he still didn’t all together understand. But perhaps that was all he needed, the knowledge that he could leave...if he wanted to.

But he didn’t want to.

“I’m here for you, Logan. Whatever you need from me...I am here.”

Logan’s embrace tightened and for a moment they slowly rocked back and forth in mutual comfort. “Oh baby,” Logan whispered in a desperate tone. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me.”

Logan pulled back then and stared into Kurt’s eyes. “You don’t know that.”

Kurt began to undress, pulling the shreds of his shirt off and offered Logan his body. “Take what you need. I will be all right.”

Logan growled low, a rumble from deep in his chest. With a shove, Kurt fell back on the bed and let Logan rip off what was left of his pants. Kurt lay naked, watching his lover peel out of his own clothing as if they were on fire.

But tonight there would be no loving, just sex full of primal rage. If their relationship survived this night, they’d be stronger for it. Kurt had to believe that. Had to believe that this was an anomaly, not the norm...not the new standard by which they’d conduct their life together. Kurt couldn’t live like that all the time no matter how much he loved Logan.

He sent a prayer up to God that he might help Logan exorcize this demon lurking so close to the surface, a demon determined to possess Logan’s mind and body.

Kurt’s breath went ragged when Logan turned back to him. The wildness was in Logan’s eyes once more, the knife edge of darkness and sharp gleaming light reflecting the primal being Logan was on the verge of becoming.

Logan panted now, teeth gritted and the air hissed through his teeth.

Kurt pushed away his trepidation and reached for Logan, pulling his lover down to him.

No more encouragement needed, Logan was on Kurt, devouring him again. A hard mouth pressed against his and Kurt parted his lips and felt Logan’s tongue push into his mouth, demanding a response. The taste of beer and tobacco filled Kurt’s mouth and he thought he probably tasted no better. Logan didn’t seem to notice, let alone care.

Hands ran down his body, relentless and on the edge of painful.

Kurt realized he could take this handling or mete out the same. He groped in return, sliding his hands down Logan’s back and kneading his lover’s buttock. Pulling Logan closer, Kurt ground his hardening cock into Logan’s already rock hard member.

Logan groaned and the kisses came more frantic, more needy and demanding. Kurt worked to match the same ferocity, though he was certain he’d never reach the same level of animal instinct that lurked inside of Logan.

Logan’s knee forced Kurt’s legs apart and a hand slid down Kurt’s stomach, fondling him in a rough caress.

Another thrill of apprehension ran up and down Kurt’s spine, weaving desire and dread into an unbreakable bond that Kurt feared would never unravel again. The feeling settled in his groin and Kurt threw back his head, reveling in the pure sensation of Logan’s uncompromising touch.

Logan’s mouth moved up Kurt’s neck and he controlled a flinch, flashes of Sabertooth’s treatment rearing its ugly head. Kurt shoved away the memory and ran his fingers up into Logan’s hair, forcing him back to Kurt’s mouth.

He felt his orgasm building, the depressiveness of alcohol already siphoning out of his system with his high metabolism working overtime.

Logan sensed it too, deepening his kiss. Kurt ran his hands down Logan’s body and came hard, stars streaking across his inner vision like an intergalactic light show. Logan worked him till nothing was left, hand moving to fondle his balls in another rough caress.

The handling bordered on painful yet there was something seductive in Logan’s hard touch, something sensual in the darkness enveloping both of them. Kurt moaned against Logan’s mouth and Logan’s hand moved back up his body to tangle in his hair, maneuvering Kurt’s head to expose his neck.

Logan dove in, teeth nipping Kurt’s shoulder and neck and Kurt felt helpless in a way that no longer tormented him. He had given himself up to Logan’s needs and yet Logan cared for his first and foremost.

Logan’s teeth grazed the skin beneath his fur just behind the ear and Kurt felt desire run through his veins like molten lava. Hands shifted on his body and Logan rose up over Kurt, flipping him onto his stomach.

“Logan,” Kurt gasped. “Lubricant. Condom.”

Logan’s body pressed Kurt into the bed, holding him immobile, but Kurt worked his tail free and wrapped around Logan’s arm, pulling him off. Turning over, Kurt saw a snarl on Logan’s lips and the eyes, feral. Logan crouched on the bed, ready to pounce and subdue.

Kurt put out a placating hand. “Logan, we’ve been through this before, now please...use the lube...use a condom.” Reaching over with his tail, Kurt rummaged in his backpack till he found the items and held them out to Logan. “Please. For me.”

Logan took a deep breath and let it out, eyes closing. Those dark eyes opened and some sense of place and time and consequence showed once again in Logan’s gaze. He grabbed the items from Kurt’s hold, impatience defining his movements. Seconds ticked by, Logan staring at the objects like he was trying to understand their purpose. Finally, Logan opened the tube and sniffed it, but dropped the condom, the packet forgotten instantly.

“Logan, no!”

Logan reached for Kurt, grabbing a handful of hair and dragging him up into his arms. Caught up in Logan’s vice like embrace, Kurt began to panic. He had vowed he’d not allow Logan intercourse with him without a condom until they were certain he had contracted no disease from Sabertooth. His fear for Logan’s health had driven this decision. No where near enough time had gone by yet Logan had all but forgotten this vow...or simply was too far gone in his need and desire to care.

“Logan----” Kurt began, but the rest of his sentence was stifled by Logan’s mouth on his.

Just as suddenly, Logan turned Kurt and pushed him face down on the bed, hand snatching Kurt’s tail in an iron grip. Using his body, Logan pinned Kurt to the mattress, holding him still.

“Listen, elf,” Logan growled close to Kurt’s ear, breath coming ragged. “If I hurt ya too much...get away. Ya hear me?”

Kurt nodded frantically, laboring for a full breath with Logan’s weight pressing down on him.

He felt Logan behind, weight shifting up off of him. He felt movement then Logan’s cock was at his hole, shoving in without any foreplay to loosen him up. Kurt stiffened, the wrong move at the wrong moment. He cried out and forced his body to relax in spite of the shooting pain ripping through him from his own stupidity. At least, Logan had used the lubricant.

Logan grunted and growled into his ear, breath hot on the back of Kurt’s neck.

The thrusts came hard and unsparing and the memories of rape, too many to recall individually rose up to assault Kurt’s mind. A sobbing whimper escaped him and Kurt felt Logan hesitate and relax his hold ever so slightly. The angle shifted, working to give him pleasure.

The pain receded, fading with this new angle of thrust and the relaxing of his own muscles finally. When Logan’s cock stroked across Kurt’s prostate, the sensation swept down Kurt’s nerve endings like a pulse of electricity, pleasure erasing pain, the ecstacy bordering that fine line Kurt had come to crave like a drug addict craved the next hit.

Thoughts of rape fell away and Kurt met Logan’s thrust as best he could trapped against the bed this way. He clutched the bed covers for an anchor and Logan seemed to sense that both parties were now on the same track, heading headlong towards completion.

Kurt felt his cock hardening again. He lost himself in the brutal pounding of Logan’s cock inside of him, the stroking of his prostate feeding his desire and need. He heard his own moans mix and meld with Logan’s grunts and growls.

They sounded like wild animals fucking. And maybe they were, the animal inside them unchained, overriding the facade of civilized, proper society.

Then all thought faded, sensation filling Kurt up. With each thrust his cock stroked across the bed, edging towards orgasm again.

Logan’s hand swept up his back, pushing his hair away from his neck and Logan plunged in, biting down just behind the ear.

The bite should have sent Kurt careening back into memories of rape again, but instead this bit of pain mixed with the heated sex and Kurt came, his orgasm pumping out of him with each thrust of Logan’s cock.

Behind him, Logan let out a howl and came as well, thrusts even harder and deeper.

Kurt gritted his teeth together, holding back a cry of ecstasy that so closely bordered agony he thought he might pass out. But Kurt clung to consciousness, too afraid of what might happened if he didn’t.

Logan’s thrusts slowed to languid movements, but did not stop and his weight grew heavier against Kurt’s back as if Logan were merely resting for the next round. A hand stroked Kurt’s hair, still rough, but more loving than before. Lips slid along Kurt’s ear and neck, across his shoulder. Logan took a deep breath and seemed to drink Kurt in with his senses.

Kurt waited, refusing to allow relief to wash over him. He had no idea if this was over...if Logan was sated. He didn’t even know if he was sated.

The hand wound up in Kurt’s hair and lifted his head, turning his face towards Logan’s. Wild eyes still greeted Kurt’s gaze, dark and dangerous and sexy as hell. Kurt drew in a gasping breath and swallowed hard.

Oh yeah, this was far from over.

Logan’s mouth pressed against his, tongue demanding entry. Kurt complied and the metallic tang of blood exploded on his taste buds.

His blood? More likely than not.

Logan’s thrusts began to increase and Kurt had no time to get ready for another hard, brutal fucking. He steeled himself and vowed to meet Logan head on whatever came next.