Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

Chapter 75

Kurt’s body ached when Logan finally stopped at another small roadside motel in the late afternoon. He climbed off the cycle with his butt cheeks throbbing and his tail cramped from staying tightly wound around his waist.

Logan said nothing as he climbed off and headed into the office, leaving Kurt to watch the bike and look around.

If he’d had a map he could’ve figured out where exactly they were, but he was fairly certain they’d zipped through Pennsylvania and was in either Virginia or West Virginia. Mountains ranged out in the distance, beautiful to his weary gaze.

Why couldn’t they be taking a nice vacation, leisurely coasting the by-ways of America and enjoying the scenery?

Oh yeah, how could he forget? His mother had kidnapped and tortured his lover until Logan was half insane and not acting at all like the Logan Kurt knew. This man was like a stranger...a dangerous stranger. Sometimes he felt angry at the way Logan was treating him, even knowing Logan was doing it to keep distance between them.

Logan, you’re not going to hurt me!

Then why did he sometimes feel a pang of terror coarse through him when Logan leveled that steel-eyed gaze on him?

Kurt chewed his lower lip with that rising anxiety that had plagued him since he’d been taken and tortured and raped by Trask and Sabertooth.

No! You will not let them get in the way. Logan needs you strong.

His breath eased a little, but patted himself mentally on the back for remembering his panic attack medicine...just in case.

Glancing around, Kurt noted the restaurant across the highway, the kind of place that looked like it lit up at night and might draw a big local crowd.

Logan pushed out of the office, his gaze not even meeting Kurt’s. Kurt scurried to climb on behind Logan, the cycle taking off down the stretch of parking lot with Kurt clinging to the bike.

Two double beds barely fit into the small room, a chest of drawers and a television on a stand taking up the rest of the space. Kurt looked in the bathroom and though that room was small as well, it looked clean enough, white towels hanging on a rack and little bars of soap wrapped and sanitary on the vanity.

Kurt turned to find Logan laid out on the bed nearest the window, hands behind his head and staring at nothing. Silent tension made the air feel heavy and stagnant. Kurt went to the window air conditioner and turned it on high, trying to clear away the staleness and humidity in the room even if he could do nothing about the tension.

Until Logan was willing to talk to him, Kurt doubted things would get any better. Until Logan stopped running and faced himself and the need for help, they might just be waiting out a stalemate for a very long time.

Kurt let out a sigh and his stomach rumbled with hunger. Donuts and coffee this morning and nothing much else made for a terrible diet for a growing young man.

Moving to the window, Kurt looked across the road. “I’m going to see if that restaurant is open,” he said, turning to Logan.

Logan grunted.

Kurt put his hands on his hips, his exasperation mounting along with his hunger. “Do you want anything?”

Logan closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath as if seeking a calm place. “Whatever yer gettin will do,” Logan said, his voice bordering a line of emptiness and restraint.

“Logan,” Kurt said, the strain of emotional torment suddenly getting the best of him. He took a step towards the bed where his lover lay like a statue, stiff and cold as marble, craving the warmth of his lover’s touch that seemed lost to him now.

Logan put up a hand and dark eyes opened, fixing Kurt with a gaze full of unspoken anguish and pain. “Just go, elf. Food’ll do us both good. I’m not fit company. I tried ta tell ya that.”

Kurt bit his lip, words failing him. He slipped one of the keys into his pocket and with one last look back, fumbled his way out the door.

***************

A knot lodge in Logan’s throat and he sat up, gazing out the window to watch Kurt make his way across the highway and disappear into the restaurant. His longing for his elf ripped and shredded his insides. He spat out a curse, trying to dislodge the lump.

He shoved up off the bed and paced the small space between the beds and television stand.

This wasn’t working. The elf wasn’t gonna leave him and Logan had to admit to himself that if Kurt packed up and left, their relationship just might be over...and that would just about kill him.

The thought brought the knotted feeling back into his throat and his lungs heaved, aching as if they would bound from his chest.

The fear of hurting Kurt battled with his love and need for the elf.

But what if that need turned violent? What if the worst happened?

A growl rose up out of Logan, his hands clenching into fists of frustration. His claws shot out involuntarily and the growl ended in a roar that might have sent chills down the spines of anyone who heard.

He wanted to punch something, slash something...tear something to pieces.

NO!

A few deep breaths, long and slow, calmed Logan enough to allow him to sit. He willed his claws back into hiding and he rubbed his face, realizing a sheen of sweat had broken out along his neck and chest, his brow dripping with perspiration.

“Yer right, elf,” Logan said to the air. “You are the only reason I’m hangin’ on. The only reason I haven’t gone rabid already and killed somebody.”

He hated admitting it, but Kurt was his balance, his sanity, his conscience, riding with him like an angel on his shoulder, holding these raging instincts in check. And he was keeping them in check so as not to hurt his lover.

But something was building up inside of him and Logan didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold it in...or how it’d come out when it did blow.

All this thing inside of him needed was a spark to set it off and the likelihood of an explosion was a good bet.

Could Kurt handle him if he went into a rage? Could the elf live through what Logan was capable of doing?

The kid said he could, but Logan had his doubts. Visions of blood, the elf’s blood struck Logan, just like in his dreams, the dreams he’d thought he’d gotten rid of. The memory of that room and the terror in Kurt’s eyes when Trask had decided to vivisect Kurt alive slammed Logan, rocking him to the depth of his soul.

He was going to kill Kurt, slit his throat. In a split second decision, for that was all the time Logan had had to think of a way to spare the elf the horror of being cut up like a lab rat in a science experiment.

A swift death verses a slow painful death. If their plan had failed that was all Logan could have offered. And now the images, the intentions washed over him with his fear that he might do just that, slash his lover’s throat or disembowel him in a blind rage.

“Oh god,” Logan whispered. Wrapping his arms around himself, Logan rocked, trying to dispel the memories and the dreams of what might have been...and what could still happen if he wasn’t very, very careful.