Every Breath You Take

Author’s Note/Disclaimer: I’ll be going down some very dark paths in this fic. I love Kurt. And we always hurt the ones we love. Don’t we? “Every Breath You Take” is a song by the Police from the eighties. I used to love the song. More than a decade later I listen to the lyrics and realize just how creepy they are. I think it’s perfect for this story.

Please rate and review. I do read them and will respond to them using the Review function. If you want better stories -- feedback is the key, folks.

BTW: This Kurt Wagner is the Nightcrawler from XMen Evolution and hasn’t had quite the rough life his comic book counterpart had. At least up until now.

05/24/2007 – I just found a major error on my part that had made all the character’s internal thoughts invisible when posted online. I usually refrain from pulling up my own stories so as not to inflate the hit counter, but apparently I need to proofread online.

{This means character’s internal thoughts.}
**This means projected thoughts, as in telepathy.**


Chapter Seven: Every Word You Say

She was worried. The change in Training methods had indeed sped up the process. But there was a price to pay. If she didn’t find a way to get him out soon, there might not be enough of “Kurt” left to save.

He was moody. He often flew into violent rages which were usually followed hungry appeals for physical contact. The commands were firmly planted now, which was fortunate as she often couldn’t trust him outside of the confines of his cell.

She could tell he was “losing time.” He was frequently confused and lost the thread of conversation easily. It wasn’t only when he was following a command sequence, it was happening spontaneously. But, he denied it when asked directly.

Her “pets” had begun to collect the information and tools she needed to engineer his escape, but one key piece was missing. Good old Charlie and his girlfriend had yet to complete their “homework.” She had assigned them the task of taking a series of suggestive photos around the exterior of the base. Charlie had promised them soon, but hadn’t shown up with the meal cart for the last two days.

{I’ve got to have those pictures.}

Charlie believed the pictures were for his “Mistress’s” own personal enjoyment. She’d couched her request in those terms, knowing he lacked the imagination to realize why neither she nor her Subject were allowed above this level. Hopefully at least one photo would have a usable target for Kurt to ‘port to.

Kurt crouched near the door to his cell, unmoving. She could see his eyes following her as she paced around the room, debating whether she should try to find Charlie, or wait another day. His tail was twisting around itself and she knew he was picking up on her nervousness. She walked over to the cell and reached through the bars to touch his hair. He flinched.

“Want out, pet?” She studied him a moment, he seemed calm enough.

“Yes, Ma’am.” She unlocked the door and let him out, waving him to the couch. There was no point in torturing him any further now. The deadline was just a few days away and his training was essentially complete.

She curled up next to him and flipped on the television and the DVD player. She started a movie and let him settle against her.

“What was it like, Kurt? To be a hero?”

“What?” He blinked slowly and his brow furrowed at the question, or perhaps at the use of his name.

“What was it like to be a hero? To know what you were doing was good? Served a purpose…I don’t know quite what I mean.”

“It was different. Sometimes it was scary, sometimes it was fun. There was always the feeling that you were doing the right thing. You could always count on your teammates…” His voice stilled.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything.” She could feel him tense up.

“I know.” She sighed and rubbed his shoulder, trying to soothe him. When he didn’t respond she closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m already dead. That I’m some kind of ghost and this is my own personal version of hell. My greatest fantasy turned into a prison.” She opened her eyes to see him studying her.

“That’s how they sold it to me, way back when. I would be given my own dungeon with all the bells and whistles I wanted. The ‘Subjects’ I trained were supposed to be dangerous criminals and I was supposed to turn them into something ‘useful.’ All nice and tidy and guilt-free.” She buried her face in his chest, rubbing her cheeks on his fur, hiding the dampness that gathered in her eyes.

She felt him kissing her hair and his hands began to wander across her body. She never understood why she couldn’t deny him – and herself – the comfort of sex. This time it was slow and lazy, more a chance to cling to something warm and alive than anything else. Prove to herself that she wasn’t quite dead yet.

When they were finished she rested her head on his thigh and studied his face as he watched the ending of the movie. He was thinner now and he never smiled – and it was all her fault. And that hurt somewhere deep inside where she had never had the courage to look before. She’d felt guilty about David, but it was never the sharp ache that tormented her now.

“Tell me about them, Kurt.”

“Who?”

“Your friends, your family, the people that matter to you.” She watched him swallow and close his eyes for a moment.

“Is that an order?”

“No. I just … I just want to hear it. Please.” He looked down at her, surprised by the request.

“I have a sister. Sort of. It’s complicated…”

“Complicated…how?” She listened as he talked, prompting him when he seemed to lose his train of thought. Tried to imagine each face as he described them. Hear their voices. See them as he saw them. To invite the ghosts of his memories to join her.

At last he wound down and they were silent for a time. Each lost in their own thoughts.

The phone rang. They jumped, startled. Then she rushed to lift the handset from the cradle.

“Alpha-9 here.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Tomorrow morning? 10 A.M. Yes, sir.” She twisted the phone cord around her finger nervously as she listened to the voice on the other end.

“A live target?”

“No sir. That’s not a problem. We’ll be ready.”

She hung up the phone slowly. Her face was pale and Kurt’s tail twitched nervously. He waited for her to speak.

“Looks like our time’s up, pet.” Her stomach churned with the Commander’s voice still echoing in her ears.

{Live target. He’s calling my bluff.}

“Back in the cell. I’ve got to go out for a while.” She looked at him, still motionless on the couch. “Go on. Now.”

He reluctantly complied, giving her a hurt look as she locked the door behind him. It was no good defying her when she was in Trainer mode, he’d learned. One way or the other, she always got her way. He watched her as she showered and dressed in record time, slipping out the door and leaving him alone again.

{Live target. Today he was a prisoner. Tomorrow he’d be a killer.}



{Dammit, Charlie! Where are you?}

Alpha-9 stalked the corridors and common areas, cursing the ankle bracelet that tracked her movements and restricted her to this level. He obviously wasn’t on this level and she had no idea how to reach him without raising suspicion.

“Ma’am?” A short, plump red-head in a meal service uniform startled her outside the cafeteria. “Alpha-9?”

“Yes?” She attempted to cover her nervousness with a smile.

“Good. It’s you.” The red-head smiled in relief. She held a menu in her hand, offering it to the taller woman. “Charlie wanted me to give this to you.”

“Charlie?” This must be the girlfriend then. Alpha-9 took the menu and opened it carefully, inside was a padded envelope, the sort that photos were mailed in.

“He wanted me to let you know he got transferred up to Level 6.” The red-head looked anxiously at her, biting her lip. Alpha-9 took a quick glance around for cameras and motioned the red-head to follow her.

“What’s your name? Charlie never told me.”

“Minda, ma’am.” She stepped behind the meal service cart that Minda had left in the hallway and carefully slipped the contents of the envelope out. She quickly began to flip through the stack.

“Please tell Charlie that I’m very pleased. These are perfect. Just what I wanted.” She glanced up at Minda who was blushing. “Is this where I think it is?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Right up against the fence, almost got busted with that one. But it was fun!”

“I’ll bet it was.” Alpha-9 rummaged in her lab-coat pockets until she found an envelope. “Look, Minda. I’d like the two of you to go out to tonight, on me.” She offered the envelope to Minda.

“Ma’am?” Minda glanced in the envelope and looked startled. “This is more than I make in a week. We can’t take this.”

“I never get to go off base anymore. I’m not even sure why they bother to cut me a check. As long as they pay me, someone should enjoy it.”

Minda reluctantly accepted the gift. Alpha-9 smiled at her.

“What time do you and Charlie get off tonight?”

“Seven.”

“Tell Charlie I expect you two to be outside the gate by eight. That’s an order.” She grabbed a pen from the cart and quickly checked off a list of items on the dinner menu. “Oh. And could you please turn in my meal orders? The strawberry shortcake sounds wonderful.”

“Yes, ma’am.”


Kurt was startled awake by the trundling of a meal cart coming through the door. He’d fallen asleep again. That seemed to be happening more and more often, lately. Alpha-9 pushed it close to the cell and smiled at him. It had been so long since he’d seen her smile it was a bit disconcerting, but the smell wafting from the cart quickly distracted him.

“Wake up. Dinner’s here.” She slipped a tray through the meal slot with a flourish. “I thought you might like a nice steak.” He glanced at her tray and raised an eyebrow. There was twice as much food as she usually ate plus two desserts. He sat down to eat his dinner as he watched her curiously.

“No peeking. It’s mine.” And she whisked the tray over to her desk and began to dig in enthusiastically. He watched as she pulled out an envelope and slipped a stack of photos from it. She began lazily sorting through the photos as she ate. She took her time, licking every drop of strawberry sauce from her spoon before finally putting it down. When she was done, she collected her tray and his and pushed the cart out into the hall. Then she checked her watch.

“Close enough.” She said to herself. He watched as she raised her hand to the keypad and sparks flashed. Then she tapped her code into the smoking keypad and checked the door. It didn’t open. Then she walked over to the desk and picked up the phone.

“Hello. This is Alpha-9, the stupid door won’t open.”

“No. I tried that.”

“I don’t know…maybe it shorted out or something. What do you think I am? An electrician?”

“Just have it open by morning or the Commander will have your ass!” Then she hung up and giggled.

By now, Kurt was convinced she’d lost her mind. She hummed tunelessly as she collected several file folders and put them in a briefcase. She pulled a package from under her bed and walked over to slip it through the cell door.

“Don’t worry. That guy absolutely hates mutants. No one will come to fix that door ‘till morning.”

The package held a pair of loose fitting slacks, a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

“Get dressed.”

Kurt fumbled with the clothing while she walked back to her desk and retrieved one stack of photos. She flipped through them idly as she waited for him to finish. He was surprised to find they had been altered to accommodate his tail.

“Not too bad a fit, I suppose.” After looking him up and down, she walked over and offered him the photos. “Memorize these locations, don’t worry about the people.”

“How did you get these?” Kurt was shocked at the explicit photos. He recognized the man in them as Charlie, but the woman was a stranger.

“Don’t worry about that. Worry about your target locations. At least one of them should be close enough to the base’s perimeter to give you a chance.” She pulled a beer from the mini-fridge and opened it, then sat at her desk and pulled out several pill bottles. She opened one and popped several pills, washing them down with the beer.

“A chance?”

“To escape. Run. Vamoose.” She downed several more pills flipping through the remaining photos on her desk. Kurt settled into his customary crouch as he studied each photo. He looked up after several moments to see her pick up a second bottle of pills and open it.

“What are you doing?”

“Saving your furry blue ass.” She swallowed a few more pills with a sip of beer. She reached into her desk drawer again and pulled out half a dozen light sticks of the sort children used for Halloween. She began methodically snapping and shaking them, pausing for another couple of pills between sticks. She hung one stick around her neck by a string and tied a second to the briefcase’s handle.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to kill yourself!”

“That is the general idea.” She stood up with the remainder of the light sticks in her hand and walked to the cell door. “But first, I need to get you out of here.” She opened the cell door and ushered him out.

She strung the light sticks over one arm and reached out to place her fingertips on either side of his collar. She closed her eyes and bit her lip in concentration. The collar fell free with a sizzle and the smell of scorched fur. Kurt rubbed his neck. It felt strangely naked after wearing the collar for so long. Then she reached up to string one of the light sticks around his neck.

She turned to enter the cell and stumbled. Kurt reached out to steady her, uncertain what to do.

“How many pills did you take?”

“Enough.” She pulled the cell door closed behind her and he heard it lock at her touch. “Take the briefcase with you. Give that stuff to your friends.”

“Give it to them yourself. You’re coming with me.”

“No I’m not. Don’t argue with me. I’ve still got stuff to do.” She tossed the remaining light sticks in different corners of the cell before pulling the thin pad from the table at its center. “The point is moot. I’m already dead. I just haven’t stopped breathing yet.”

She climbed up on the table and reached up to grasp the metal grill covering the light fixture. Then she kicked her shoes to the floor. She looked up to see Kurt standing, hands on the cell door.

“Get away from there, you’ll get hurt. And stay away from the floor grills.” She scowled at him when he didn’t move. She began to glow as she had that first day and energy began to spark and hiss around her, spreading from her hands and feet, across the table, the ceiling and licking its way towards the bars of the cell.

“I won’t leave you.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to play hero? Don’t be stupid! Haven’t you figured out where all this juice comes from?” Kurt could feel the air changing, his fur rising on his flesh. “It comes from the people I touch. And most of this came from *you*.” He moved back as the glow became more intense and sparks began to spit from the bars. “Save your energy for yourself. There’s nothing for me up there.”

“Adrienne!”

“Things are going to get very dark and very stuffy in a moment. Better cover your eyes. As soon as the lights go out, you get the hell out.”

Energy had begun to arc from the bars and from the floor grills, forcing Kurt to retreat further. He turned away as the glow changed from gold to violet-white and became unbearable. He could still see it behind his clenched eyelids. He heard her cry out as the glare dimmed briefly then flashed more brilliantly than ever. Then it winked out. The sound of popping and breaking glass surrounded him as the TV shattered. He could smell the scent of scorched plastic.

The light had blinded him and he waited in the darkness for vision to return to him. He’d never noticed the noise the ventilation fans made until they stopped. Their absence sent a chill of fear down his spine. He could hear nothing but the thumping of his own pulse in his ears.

{What do I do now?}