Lust and Cookies

Bobby grinned sheepishly as he happily stared at the ceiling, his mind travelling in what happened the last few hours.

He closed his eyes, reliving the still fresh on his mind experience and picking out the most exciting moments of the ride. When he found out what he wanted to remember best of all, he burned the images of that memory in his mind and put them in the most easily accessible part of his mind-so that he would be able to relive them again and again every time he wanted to.

The whole memory trick was something he learned in accounting classes and was initially designed to remember difficult numbers consisting of lots of digits, something necessary for the job. But Bobby also used it for the cream of his joyful memories too, so that he would push away all kinds of brooding thoughts easily by accessing the good memories in an instant.

The really out-of-tone voice coming from the bathroom mixed with splashing indicated that his Sweetheart-or should it be *his* sweetheart?-was having a bath and singing some old classic about kung-fu fighting.

Well, what they did before really resembled "fighting" anyway. It was so wild that he feared she would eat him after sex, like the female mantis does to her partner. But Paula did not. She didn't even create any of her chocolate cookies to eat afterwards. Of course, that would be bad, because chocolate is a substitute for sex and what could be worse that your girlfriend eating chocolate after having sex with you?

His *girlfriend*.Now, that sounded good. As wild as it had been, it still didn't seem like a one night stand-a one day stand more appropriately-to him. They would still have to sort out their feelings though. Going back at the wildness issue, Bobby worried how did the sweet creature turned into a bloodthirsty tigress in like, half a second, and if that phenomenon generally appeared in every aspect of her life. He wondered if she could be one of those headcases who are sweet and caring Mother Theresas one moment, and the other they turn into Hannibal Lector's evil twin sister. That could turn out into a problem.

Right then, Bobby started choking, and eventually spat out a broken nail. It was Paula's.

"So that's where you ended up!", he said at the broken piece of ceratine, that had separated from the rest when Bobby accidentally bit on Paula's nails while passionately sucking her fingers. It was good he didn't swallow the piece of nail after all. Thankfully, she was so zoned at the time she didn't even get mad at him for breaking her nail...Though she promised to spank him for a punishment later...

A nasty grin crossed his tired face at the thought.
Now Paula could be heard doing severe damage to the song's prestige. She obviously was no Tom Jones.

He got up and walked to the open door of the bathroom.


"Hello, sweetie", he said glancing at the bathtub.

She was in there, buried under a huge quantity of bubbles, as her body was once again controlled by her sweet and perky side of her personality. Or at least, he supposed so, because he couldn’t imagine the tigress having a bubblebath anyday.

"Hello, Chilly Butts", she answered back, a nasty gleam in her eye.

"What?"

"You heard me. That's how I'm gonna call you. It suits you."

"But I don't have a chilly-"

"Oh damn right you do! My poor fingers know better! Okay, not chilly exactly, but at least Cool. You like Cool Butts better?"

"You're not going to call me that in the presence of conscious human beings, are you?"

"Only if you behave yourself...Coolbutts. Nah, I like Chilly Butts better."

"Ouch." he pouted.

"No pouting will work on me, mister. Now please move your chilly ass and get me some coffee. With milk and sugar."

"What's in for me?"

"Two kisses and a hug."

"You got me. I’ll be back A.S.A.P."

"And put something on, babe! I want no other woman looking at *my* Chilly Butts!"

"Uh, okay", he said, putting on his boxers (who were stuck frozen at the floor and he had to pull them off it) and his t-shirt.

All of his clothing was rough and almost frozen solid as he wore it, as his mutant gift got a bit uncontrollable during the past hours.
Bobby tried to open the door, but it also was frozen into its place and wouldn't open.

"Dammit!" he exclaimed as he accidentally broke the frozen door off its hinges. Too bad. They would have to bring someone and fix it afterwards.

He strolled through the hallways, got down the stairs, and entered the kitchen. As he had a quick glance, Jubilee, Rogue and Jean were sitting in there.

"Oh, perfect", he thought to himself.

All three of them started giving glances at him and giggling between whispering a few words, as he tried to pour some coffee into the cups without being distraught by them.

Eventually, he turned his attention to them, with an expression between anger and surrender. "How do you know?", he asked all three at them.

"Ah paid a visit to Paula's and the door was frozen solid", Rosaidsaid between giggles.

"Afterwards she informed me», Jubilee added, grinning.

Jean was almost blushing.» I’m a psychic. You were practically screaming thoughts into my head the last hours."


Bobby turned green of embarrassment. He grabbed the coffee cups and made his way out trying not to look too much at the floor.

As soon as he got out of the kitchen, Jubilee ,Rogue and Jean broke into hard laughs again.

"That was too harsh Jean. You should have told him the truth, that Ah informed ya.", Rogue said between snorts and giggles.

"That wouldn't be nowhere close as funny, though», she answered back.

Jubilee was too busy to comment on that, as she was rolling on the floor already.

***************************************************************

"...and then she told me, "I'm sorry Davey, you're so fine, but I'm in love with someone else. Hannah, to be more specific."

"Owww, tough one, kid". Logan had never been dumped for another woman, but he surely could sympathise to that.

"Then I decided to get myself another girl, you know, fight love with love, but the same thing happened all over again."

Instead of making some comment, Logan just stood there, sniffing the air.

"Hey, Logan, you pain' attention?"

"Just wait, kid, I can smell somethin'"
Logan kept sniffing, and finally got to a conclusion.

"You farted?"

"What-No! I never fart! Has something to do with my 'sexy aura'."

"But I can smell the distinctive odour of-"

"Hello boys." That voice was totally new to Logan. He cocked his head to the direction it came from.

Zazelle was standing about 30 feet away from them, a bunch of new thugs standing right behind her.

"Judging from your clothing, you must be the kid's bitchy sister, right?"

"Zazelle. Pleasure to meet you Wolverine."

She was wearing a tiny purple thong bikini, allowing almost all of her flesh to expose itself. She also wore the obligatory thigh-level boots, also of purple colour, and a purple cowboy hat.

"Mary, you could *at least* wear something less eccentric, why do you have to embarrass me in front of other people?"

"Don't call me that, Dave! Never again! I'm NOT Mary anymore! Zazelle is a much cooler name"

"For a prostitute, that is."

"You call your own sister a prostitute? That's not what I am, you know. Prostitution is a job, Dave. I'm just doing it for a hobby." She flashed a smile,proud of the clever thing she just said."

"Look, I hate to interfere in family quarrels, but you're going down, lady.» Wolverine interfered.

"Oh yes, soon I'll be going down. On you." She flashed a cool-line-grin again. "These guys here are my mercenaries. They're all mutants and they're going to kick your ass. Guys, get my brother first."
Then she paused a little. "Oh, wait, I forgot to introduce you guys. Where are my manners?"

"Somewhere along with your virginity?", Dave snapped at Zazelle.

"Shut up kid. Don't make it worse than what it already is. She can have total control over me in seconds and while you can stand up to her, you don't have a chance against her thugs.» Logan tried to soften things up a bit.

"I love a man with wisdom» said Zazelle, and began the introductions.» Beginning from the left, you can see Taser, Melee, Mytntoxntoxicator, Kujo and Captain Poop."

"Captain Poop?", Logan said, glancing to the far right of the evil mutants. Captain Poop was apparently a fist-sized piece of shit, clad only in a cape stabilized where its neck was supposed to be. It really was made out of shit. "Hey, that's where the smell came from...it wasn't fart, it was shit!"

"Do not anger Captain Poop, you hairy bastard!" Captain Poop was very pissed off and shot a stream of diarrhoea (liquid crap) straight at Logan's face. It splashed all over him.

"Eeeeeeew" that was too much even for Logan, who barely kept himself from fainting, and used his hand to clear his face from the offending, stinking liquid. He growled at Captain Poop. "You disgusting piece of shit..."

"Yes, that's what I am", the shit would have flashed a smile if it had a face.

Terrified, Dave looked at the other mutants. Taser wore a black and yellow costume with electric bolts drawn on it. Melee wore some black hotpants and a tank top, revealing most of his arms and feet. Myth was clad in blue jeans and a brown jacket, nothing close to a super-villain costume. Intoxicator was clad in a one piece sparkling silver costume, covering all of his body. Kujo was a huge Japanese guy clad only in a sumo costume.

"What's with the sumo guy?" hld hld his sister, pointing at Kujo.

"Oh, he's not such a powerful mutant. He's just a plain sumo wrestler with some psychic abilities. I hired him especially for you, so that you wouldn't have to get hurt by the extremely dangerous mutants I brought here...although some shit on your face wouldn't be that bad, mom would be very angry. Kujo?" she called at the huge man and tilted her head towards Dave. "Get him."

Kujo put some really panicky feelings in Dace's mind. Then he started walking up to him.

Dave made a girly shriek as Kujo neared him and bolted to the opposite direction.

"So much for calming down», thought Logan. He would try and save the poor kid, but Dave was already a mile away. And he obviously ran faster than the fat guy over there. So he just turned hisentiention to more important matters like Ultra-Hooker and her Mutant Friends right beside him. He knew that he could easily put all of the thugs down, but the time wasting on them would give Zazelle the chance to put him under sexual control. So he started considering getting inside the mansion for help. Instead, he just thought loudly of Jean, to get her telepathic attention. After all, Chuck had left for Europe for some urgent business of his, or else he would have used the Cerebro to locate himself Zazelle and her hideout. But the bitch proved herself a bit more resourceful than they expected.

[Logan, is everything Ok?], was her quick response.

[This is an emergency. Bring everybody out here ready for a fight. Super Slut and some mutant lackeys of hers are here!]

[But how did they locate our supposedly hidden mansion?]

[I don't know, just *get your cute ass here*, now!]

"Calling for backup, darling?", Zazelle asked him, grinning.

***************************************************************

"Girls, there are problems on the outyard", Jean said to Rogue and Jubilee, with who were still chatting in the kitchen. "Get out and be ready for a battle."

Jubilee bolted to the door, while Rogue went flying outside the kitchen window, looking for a less expected approach.

Jean set out a telepathic alarm in everyone else's heads, and run for the exit too.

***************************************************************

Paula was brushing her hair, only having a huge towel wrapped up around her body, when she heard some screams.

She looked out of the bathroom window, and saw Dave, the bitch's cute brother, running in panic in the fields behind the mansion. A huge Sumo guy was trying to reach him, but he was too fat, too big and too tired already to actually make it. He never would have, actually, if it wasn't for that rock on which Dave slumped on (what a cliche!)and fell spread-eagled on the grass. Soon, the sumo guy reached him with ease, grabbed him, put him under a headlock and carried him back where they came from.

"This is weird". she thought, but then her trail of thoughts was interrupted from a mental alarm from Jean:
[It's an emergency-Everybody get out by the lake-Zazell att attacking the mansion-Be alarmed for a battle is going on!]

Paula ran to the next room, where she saw Bobby. He had just brought the coffee and apparently had just heard the same alarm. He iced up-he was very sexy in his iced up version, she thought-and gave her a quick kiss.

"Let's go."

They both bolted downstairs, Paula still in the big towel.