In Fear of Three Little Words

Chapter 7


Logan leaned back in his seat and tried to relax yet keep his mental walls up. Jean or Charles could too easily read his thoughts otherwise. He only hoped they’d respect his wishes and wait to hear all the gory details.

He let his gaze slide over to Kurt. The kid was exhausted and rightly so. Only a few hours ago they had been locked together in a sexual embrace. Forced as it was, it had still happened. And there were the consequences of the first injection, the damage done physically and emotionally. y wey were a long way off figuring how to deal with each other now that the deed had been done.

People don’t just walk away from that kind of intimacy, unwanted or not and pretend nothing big had happened, nothing mind blowing or life changing, particularly for an eighteen year old virgin who had lost his virginity the hard way.

Logan noted the soft rise and fall of Kurt’s chest, wondering if the kid was sleeping. Blood caked in blue fur over the right eye, under and along the left cheek. Soft fur concealed bruises from Trask’s people andm Lom Logan’s own manhandling. He smelled Kurt’s blood and knew the boy was still bleeding, smelled sex, his own and Kurt’s. The aroma made him lightheaded, his body remembering how good the boy felt in his arms, his cock pounding inside that tight hole.

Squeezing his eyes shut didn’t make the images go away. Memories tumbled through Logan’s mind and he hoped the hot prickly feeling in his groin was residue from the drug.

With effort, Logan shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind, gaining control again. He opened his eyes to find Charles gazing at him with concern.

You don’t know the half of it, Chuck. But you willn enn enough.

Logan glanced away and listened to the others murmur around them and Logan couldn’t help, but wonder what Scott or Jean...or particularly Kitty would think of him if they knew what he had done to Kurt, unwilling albeit, but still he hadn’t had the strength to keep it from happening.

How would he ever gain their trust...their loyalty again Bes Beside him, Kurt gave a little moan, head tossing. Then he gasped jerkjerked up, panic and terror transforming normally bright laughing eyes into a fearful gaze, suspicious...cautious.

“Easy, elf,” Logan offered, gently laying a hand on Kurt’s arm. “You’re okay. We’re okay.”

Kurt’s gaze latched onto his with a desperate need to connect with reality.

“We’re okay,” Logan repeated, emphasizing each syllable.

“Almost home,” Ororo stated. “The house is in sight.”

That seemed to calm Kurt. The boy leaned back again and wrapped his arms around himself. Logan glanced up and almost every set of eyes on the plane watched them.

“What’s the matter?” he asked with a low growl. “Never seen a guy have a bad day before?”

Gazes slid away and Ororo made ready to bring the plane in for docking.

“Is there anything we can do, Professor?” Scott asked as they began disembarking.

“Not that I can see at the moment, Scott,” the Professor replied. “Just reassure the others that we’ve returned with our two missing team mates.”

“Yes, sir.”

Logan noticed Jean hovering.

“I’ll call if I need you, Jean,” the Professor said. “Everyone a g a good night’s sleep.”

Jean followed the others with reluctance, leaving Logan and Kurt with Charles, Ororo and Hank.

“Why don’t you “pop” on up to the infirmary, elf and we’ll be right there?” Logan suggested.

“I can walk,” Kurt replied, but looked like he’d collapse at any moment.

“Go on, Kurt,” the Professor said gently. “You’re tired and hurt. Just lie down and we’ll be right up to check on your wounds.”

Kurt looked close to panic again, as if he didn’t yet believe he was home and safe.

Logan reached out and pushed hair from Kurt’s face. The fear still lurked in beautiful eyes.

“It’s not an hallucination, elf. It’s real. We’re safe. The collar can’t hurt you any more.”

“Logan....” Kurt’s voice sounded desolate.

“I know, kid. We’ll work this out. We’ll get through it. I promise. And I always keep my promises.”

Kurt finally nodded and disappeared in a puff of acrid smoke.

How was he ever going to keep that promise?

Logan’s years bore down on him, sucking out his last remaining reserves of strength. But from sherehere he had to find another reserve for Charles was waiting and the others. They wanted answers and when the exact extent of Kurt’s wounds were discovered, there would be no place to hide.

They all looked at Logan, waiting for those answers.

“The kid needs medical attention. I’ll tell you more when we get upstairs.”

“How bad is it?” Hank asked. “He seems perhaps more traumatized then physically injured.”

They began walking. “Don’t let him fool you,” Logan said. “The kid’s got cracked ribs and there’s bruises under that fur of his, probably all over his body. Trask’s thugs beat him up pretty bad. Get a closer look at his face and you’ll see what I mean.” They reached the elevator and hit buttbutton for the second floor. “But traumatized is right. Trask --- that son-of-a-bitch. That perverted bastard.” Logan took a deep breath and unclenched his teeth and his fists.

Charles laid a hand on Logan’s arm. “I sense your trauma is equal to Kurt’s.”

Logan leaned back against the elevator wall and rubbed his face. He needed a shave real bad.

He said nothing and when the doors opened he lead the way to the infirmary.

“Hey, elf,” Logan said, surprised to find Kurt perched on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, head hanging down. “Why didn’t you lie down and get comfortable?”

Kurt raised his head seemingly with effort and gave a shrug.

Well, let’s get you into something more comfortable,” Hank suggested and handed Kurt a gown.

Kurt climbed down from the bed and crossed the room to the bathroom and disappeared.

“Oh my,” Ororo gasped. “He’s bleeding.”

They all looked and there where Kurt had been sitting was a stain of h blh blood. Charles’s eyes locked with Logan’s.

“There’s a stain on the seat he was sittin’ in on the jet too,” Logan stated.

Then Kurt returned, shuffling back to the bed. He stopped and stared down, his body beginning to shake.

“Logan,” Kurt whispered.

Logan crossed to Kurt and stood close. “I know, kid. I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”

Kurt turned his gaze up to Logan. “It’s not your fault.” Kurt’s voice was determined, stanching any argument.

Logan reached up and stroked Kurt’s hair. He shook his head and let his hand drop away.

“Let Hank and Ororo take a look at you. I think you’re gonna need some stitches over that eye.” He reached for Kurt’s arm, examining the long ugly cut. “This is definitely gonna need stitches.”

Kurt climbed into bed and lay back, dread etched on his features.

“RelaLogaLogan said, leaning in. “These aren’t the bad guys.”

“Logan,” Charles said from beside the balcony doors.

Logan straightened, let out another sigh and rubbed his face again. He came without further prompting and sat down in a chair across from Charles.

“I’ve been trying not to listen in on your thoughts,” Charles began. “But it’s extremely difficult to block out so much trauma from two of my team. I sense something terrible, something beyond pain or physical abuse. Would you prefer I simply looked inside your mind?”

“No!” Logan shoved up out of the chair, almost knocking it over. “Don’t go there, Chuck. Just don’t. And stay out of Kurt’s mind as well. Neither one of us needs that right now.”

“All right. Calm down, Logan. I’ll certainly adhere to your wishes. Please...sit down.”

Logan sat. He glanced over to Kurt and met a grateful gaze.

“Talk to me, Logan.”

n drn dragged his attention away from Kurt and stared down at his hands.

“I don’t know where to start,” Logan admitted.

“The beginning is always a good place,” Charles offered with a sincere smile. “We found your Jeep or what was left of it.”

“Yeah, we were ambushed. Leave it to Trask to turn a simple trip for groceries into a nightmare. He’s figured out a lot since our first run in with him. He’s figured out about Kurt’s image inducer and he knew that he’d have to put the elf down fast or risk him disappearing. He obviously knew where to look for us. So now it looks like he’s got government sanction to go after mutants. And he still has that immoblizing technology. I think he was afraid it wouldn’t work on Kurt.”

Logan shifted, his gaze sliding over to watch Hank stitching up Kurt’s arm.

“But Kurt wasn’t unconscious that whole time, surely. Why didn’t he use his powers?” the Professor asked.

Logan watched a while longer, until Hank finished then turned back to the Professor. “Good question,” Logan finally replied. “Hank, ya got those collars?”

Hank came over and handed Logan the two metal rings. “I haven’t had time to examine them except for a few moments on the plane. They acted as containment concerning your powers?”

“Yeah, just what you said. Containment. The elf couldn’t teleport. And when I extended my claws it went off. The pain was...what’s a good word for mind-numbing agony? When the kid tried to do his thing it went off. And Trask could set it off when he wanted to with a control button. He had something like that hooked up when his goons captured me before. That time he had it connected to shackles. But this is more complicated. Kurt said the collar anticipated him trying to teleport.”
Charles reached for the collars and Logan was just as glad to get them out of his hands. They really did give him the creeps.

“I didn’t see Kurt for a while...a long while, days I’m guessin’,” Logan continued. “They did tests on me and what they did to me they did to the elf. We didn’t compare laundry lists, but that’s the way it seems to have gone down. At first it was just blood tests, skin samples, x-rays, you name it, poked and prodded inside and out.” Logan covered his mouth with his hand and rubbed. The anger rose inside him now even more than then...now that he had time to think hard about it. “Then they got mean. Put us under water to how how long before we’d start to drown. Cut us to see what color we bled and how fast we healed. I faired a lot better than the kid on that one.”

“Thus the cut on his arm?”

“Yeah, pretty huh?”

Charles sucked in a breath and let it out in a rush. “Go on.”

“Shock treatments. Heat. Cold. And then the beatings just for fun.”

“Dear god,” Ororo said from beside the bed, hearing all the dirty details. “These people are monsters, Charles.”

“Oh, it only gets worse from here, sister,” Logan growled. “Finally we got put together in the same room. Trask was there behinde bie big glass window all smug and makin’ threats. Said he had another experiment to perform on us. An injection of something. He wouldn’t say what it was suppose to do. I told him I wouldn’t do it, but he showed me why I wouldn’t fight. He hurt the elf. Set off that collar. He all but threatened to kill Kurt with it. I didn’t know what else to do.” Logan heard defeat in his own voice and realized that was the defining moment of all the rest that followed. “So I let them inject me.”

Logan’s breath clogged up in his throat till it ached with dread and shame and horror.

“Logan. Logan.”

He came back to himself with Charles holding onto his arm. Logan met Charles’ gaze for one long revealing moment. “Dammit, Charles, I’m tired. I’m so tired. More than I’ve been since I can reer.”er.” He heard a breathless cry of pain from the bed and started up. Charles’ insistent hand drew him back down.

“Kurt’s in good hands,” Charles said soothingly.

“You don’t understand. I did that to him!”

“What, Logan? What happened?”

“I...raped him, Charles. I raped him.”