Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

Chapter 61


A few moments later, the door opened again and the aroma of Kurt wafted over to Logan, a wash of sensation flowing through his body and seducing his mind. He breathed in his lover’s scent and let the breath slowly exhale. The snick of his claws sliding back out of sight sounded loud in the silent room.

“I told her you weren’t ready to talk,” Kurt said and the tone of the kid’s voice held back despair, trying for reasonable. “But you know Cassie. She wants to help. So she had to try.”

Logan turned to see Kurt leaning back against the closed door, his body language a combination of forced nonchalance and muscles tight with tension. He met the elf’s eyes for a brief moment then looked away, unable to withstand the pain in his lover’s gaze.

He heard Kurt move, the elf pushing away from the door and coming nearer.

“Cassie looks much better today,” Kurt continued, as if Logan wasn’t a raving maniac with the potential to kill with a stroke of his hand. “I think she’ll probably go home soon though I think Hank would like for her to stay.”

Kurt pulled the sheets up and began making the bed with deliberate thoroughness, smoothing out every wrinkle.

“They really like each other, you know?” Kurt offered to Logan’s silence. “Cassie and Hank. I hope they can find some way to work things out between them.”

Logan’s mind wouldn’t settle down, Kurt’s words rolling over him, making sense, yet without meaning. He stood still, listening to his own breathing and the lilting sound of Kurt’s accent. He breathed in again his lover’s scent and let the aroma wrap around him, trying to find comfort in Kurt’s nearness and attempt at normalcy.

“Logan.” The touch on his arm shouldn’t have surprised him, but Logan flinched away as if Kurt’s hand was a branding iron. “It’s just me.”

Logan let out a sigh and reached out, pulling Kurt to him. “I know. I’m sorry, elf.”

Kurt clung to him as if life depended on his touch. “Oh Logan. What can I do to help you?”

“Nothin’ sweetheart. Right now...nothin’.”

Logan felt Kurt shiver in his arms. He stroked Kurt’s hair and let his hand languidly wander down the elf’s back, pulling him closer.

Kurt sucked in a shuddering breath and kissed Logan’s neck.

“Hey, ya better be careful,” Logan whispered into Kurt’s ear, keeping his tone light. “Don’t take much to get me all hot and bothered right now.”

Kurt pushed back and met Logan’s gaze. “Like it ever did.” The elf reached up and ran a finger along Logan’s jaw. “You need a shave.” Kurt sniffed and made a face. “And a shower.”

“You my personal groomer or somethin’?”

“If need be.” Kurt pushed away and headed for the door. “Go clean up and I’ll bring up some breakfast,” Kurt threw back over his shoulder. “Unless I can talk you into coming down to the kitchen that is.”

“Don’t push yer luck, darlin’,” Logan growled.

The elf rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Go.”

“Yeah, yeah...right.”

Logan went, ducking out the door and down the hall as if a fugitive instead of a resident of the Xavier Institute.

He pulled off his clothes and turned the water on hot, letting the steam surround him, soaking into his skin. Soap followed and Logan knew this desire to wash away the invisible filth of his weak flesh, not an uncommon feeling for a rape victim.

Rape?

He...Logan? He...Wolverine?

Raped.

Logan slammed his fist into the tiled wall, a long crack appearing.

But the rape wasn’t the worst. No. The worst had been his own body’s betrayal...of himself, of Kurt, of every one of those kids Mystique had used against him.

And his body was still betraying him and Kurt. Last night he’d lusted after Gambit with his lover asleep in their bed, not twenty yards away.

He’d controlled the desire to take Gambit, but that didn’t make it any better. The thoughts had still crossed his mind, had made his groin ache and his cock hard.

Then he’d turned that bestial passion on Kurt, uncaring if he hurt his lover or satisfied the elf. He’d almost forgotten condom and lubricant.

What kind of animal was he, that he’d forget his lover’s comfort and satisfaction?

No answer came to Logan.

Washing and rinsing, he finally turned off the water and stood breathing hard in the left over steam, head bowed, water dripping from his chin and nose.

He shook off like a dog and climbed from the shower, drying hard until his skin tingled.

The clean clothing he’d forgotten had appeared courtesy of the elf. With a sniff he detected Kurt just outside the door waiting for him.

If Logan tried, he could let this nurse maid thing get on his nerves, but this was Kurt, the one person he could stand “caring” for him. Just as he’d cared for Kurt in his time of need.

Fair is fair.

He turned to the mirror to face his traitorous self and tried to recognize the man he saw.

Same eyes. Same mouth. Same crooked nose.

So. What was different was inside. No sign of the beast lurking within...at least for the moment.

But Kurt had seen it...had felt the beast’s presence and loved him anyway.

God, elf. I don’t deserve you.

A knock on the door dragged Logan away from morbid thoughts.

“Logan.” Kurt’s voice sounded through the door. “Aren’t you finished yet? Your breakfast is getting cold.”

“Give a guy a chance ta shave, will ya?”

“Five minutes.” Kurt’s voice held a firm resolve. “If you’re not out in five minutes. I’m coming in after you. Got that?”

“Don’t be a nag, elf.”

The door swung open and Kurt appeared in the doorway. “Nag? Are you calling me a nag?”

The indignation on the elf’s face was meant to be serious, but came across almost humorous.

Logan raised one eyebrow and said, “if the shoe fits, darlin’.” And slammed the door closed.