Nil Desperandum

6

Ohhh…my head.

I rolled over in bed and searched for a pillow. Oh God, I am never going to try to out drink a man with a healing factor ever again. Next time Logan pulls out the Goddamned Jim Bean, I am going to break the bottle(s) over his head. He deserves worse.

‘Jubilation, are you well?’ Monet’s crisp accent penetrated my skull like trillions of laser points. I think I cursed at her. ‘I have…’ she sounded exasperated, but with a trace of amusement, ‘you have a gentleman caller. With pizza.’

Now, for those of you narrow-minded ignoramuses who try to beat a hangover with, say, burnt dry toast and a hardboiled egg, I have to tell you, you’re upchucking behind the wrong tree. The fastest way to beat a bad come down is grease and Gatorade. Rehydrate and soothe. Takeout Chinese is the best, but pizza…well, it’ll do in a pinch.

‘What happened?’ I groaned.

‘Ya pounded about a dozen shots and passed out.’ Logan’s voice, unnervingly close, got through to me. I whimpered. The worrying part is that I sounded further away to myself than he did. My bed sagged under his weight as he sat down. Oh. Anchovies on the pizza. And…parmesan? Ohoho. Jackpot. I struggled upright, and he shoved a glass of cold, sparkling apple juice into my hand. Half Perrier, half juice. The man sure knows his stuff. I took long, greedy swallows. ‘Ya didn’t throw up, though. I was impressed. But you came in and out for an hour or so before I brought you back here.’ I grabbed a slice of pizza (oh! Wild mushrooms!) and wolfed it down. ‘I figured you’d want a hangover cure. You’re a champion, kid. Put away half a bottle before I could stop ya.’

‘Depressing film.’ I growled, between bites. Yeah, real attractive, Lee.

‘You’re crazy.’ He chuckled. ‘Look, I promised Rogue I’d drive her to the mall, but you get some rest. I’ll see you later.’ He pushed the box of pizza into my hand and hurried out, leaving Monet studying me archly.

‘Don’t look at me like that, Monet.’ I said, dislodging another slice. ‘You totally know I didn’t do anything with him.’

‘I thought you and Warren…’

‘Oh, sod Warren.’ I sighed, exasperated and ill. ‘Dude is seriously delusional about his appeal.’

‘You know,’ she turned toward the mirror and continued brushing her gorgeous hair, ‘perhaps you are somewhat delusional about him, as well.’

I narrowed my eyes. ‘What?’

She shrugged. ‘You’re just another pretty girl, Jubilee.’

The churning poisons in my blood made everything just that much more incendiary. ‘Fuck off, Monet. Like I don’t know that. Maybe that’s why I don’t fall at the Winged Wonderboy’s feet every time he deigns to look my way. I know I’m not fucking special. He’s got some idea that I’m good looking and that I put out, and I have half a breaking brain, and so be it. So what? I realise I’m nothing special, and I don’t need you to rub it in.’

She turned to face me. ‘That is not what I meant.’

‘Bullshit. I know exactly what you meant.’ I sulked into my apple juice.

‘No, you do not.’ She cursed softly under her breath in French. ‘English is not my best language.’ She sighed. ‘What I mean is, you are not better than Warren because of your life difficulties, and he is not to be avoided because he has had opportunity. You are both young, and beautiful, and uniform. Regular.’

‘Normal.’ I corrected her, with a smirk. I pressed my hands to my eyes. ‘Gosh. You make me sound like a classist bitch.’

She tossed her hair and turned back to the mirror. ‘You can be sometimes. Anyhow, I think you should have your own opinions, but Warren is a very nice boy.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ I shifted, turned the box of pizza so that it faced her. ‘You want some?’ Please. Pizza is an awesome way to make nice.

‘No, but thank you. I am going to have lunch with Theresa. She needs help with her Spanish paper.’

‘Nice of you.’ I put the box aside and got unsteadily to my feet. A dip in the pool would do me a world of good, I decided, and with nothing better to do, it’d at least be more exercise than I’d get lying in bed.
The next few hours seemed to slide by like nothing. By the time I was just about to go stir crazy, lying face down on a poolside lounger with my top untied, I heard the distant sound of footsteps and rowdy voices. Oddly enough, I numbered old One-Eye in their number. I reached back and did up my bikini top just as he, along with Ororo and Hank, came barrelling into the pool area, carrying a pitcher of frozen margarita and three salt-crusted glasses. I opened an eye.

‘Aha,’ I muttered, shamelessly appreciating Scott’s body, clad in a pair of standard issue X-decalled speedos, ‘the faculty that parties together.’

‘Jubilation,’ Ororo smiled my way, her perfectly toned, lush curves offset by a white one-piece with the back sliced out in a diamond shape, with tribal beadwork detailing. ‘join us!’ she set the pitcher and glasses down. ‘I am feeling outnumbered by men.’

‘What’re you still doing here?’ Scott lounged back as Hank filled a glass and handed it to him. ‘Almost everyone else went into town to spend their allowances.’

‘Ah, you know me, prof,’ I flashed a grin his way, ‘we trust fund kids have gotta keep a tight hold on our wallets. Besides, I’ve been up and down Salem Centre about a dozen times. This way, I get to hang out with you cool cats.’ My deftly measured sarcasm was not lost on Hank, who choked into his margarita.

‘Aren’t you afraid the other students will thing you’re being a suck up?’ Scott adjusted his swimming goggles carefully. They were probably the same ones he wore to sleep. In his big, empty bed. Ahem. Focus, Lee.

‘Oh, yeah. Well, that’s why I plan for them to all be buggered off to the hugely exciting town mall, so I can do my brown nosing in peace. So what’re you high-ups plotting, anyway? Am I gonna make the team? C’mon, you can tell little ol’ me.’

Hank chuckled. ‘Judging by the control you have been displaying, I would have to vote in favour of your acceptance.’

‘Yeah? Even though I got my butt handed to me by a hillbilly with a weird fetish for flannel?’

Ororo sniggered, but caught herself. She looked like she might have been drinking for a while already. Scott shrugged. ‘Logan’s a tough man. Difficult to bring down. The fact that you managed even so much is, frankly, impressive.’

‘And without the use of your powers.’ Agreed Hank. Was it the sun, or was I blushing? Maybe it was Scott’s streamlined, bronzed abs rippling like bricks under…uh…flesh coloured latex. Oh. Scott and latex. ’Rogue’s right, I do get pathetic when I’m undersexed,’ I thought fleetingly.

Ororo leant forward. ‘What do you think,’ she asked, ‘as a student, about Logan joining the faculty?’

I blinked. ‘What, like permanently? As in, not taking off all the time? How would you manage? For that matter, what would he do?’

Scott smiled at Ororo across my line of vision. ‘Well, he could teach self defence,’ he began slowly, obviously having to think hard about this, searching for less-than-obvious excuses, ‘Perhaps he could take on a few physical level classes. Sports, teaching the younger kids to drive, that sort of thing.’

‘But what you really want is for him not to take off for months at a time.’

‘We are obviously short staffed, despite the teachers we take on from outside Xavier’s. Even inducting our new generation into the ranks of the X-Men, we need every member we can get.’

I nodded. ‘That sounds sensible. Why’re you telling me?’

‘You’re one of the more senior students,’ Scott said steadily, ‘You’re…you want to be an X-Man, don’t you?’

I nodded again. ‘Sure. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.’ Even as I said it, I realised I sounded like a pathetic rank and file android suck up. What made it worse was that I sounded as sincere as a choir boy, too.

‘Then I’d value your opinion.’

I chuckled and lounged backward, stretching. ‘My opinion, huh, Scooter?’ he exchanged another kind of look with Hank. This one had frat boys in it. ‘Well, I’m of the opinion that I wouldn’t mind a margarita.’ I winked. They laughed me off. Oh, well, a shot is always worth a shot. ‘Do you think he’ll stay on?’ I carried on, getting back to the topic at hand.

Ororo lowered her eyes. ‘I imagine he wants to spend more time here. I understand that over the past few weeks he has uncovered several clues as to his past, and there may be some way we can help.’

‘Oh?’ I looked past her, at Scott. As you probably can imagine, he’s not got one of the most demonstrative faces in the world, but after nearly a decade of living under the same roof, being drilled to within an inch of my life in the Danger Room, and the past year and a half of scattered missions, I’d be some kind of comatose idiot not to have learnt to pick up on the little habitual things he did when he was thinking. Like the way the corners of his lips tightened, and how he sucks his cheeks in just a bit. ‘You think it involves us?’ my mind ticked over the conversations I’d had with Logan. He had said that he’d smelled Scott on that woman. Well. If old One-Eye wasn’t going to let on where he’d been that night, then I, for one, wasn’t gonna ask. Not in from of Ro and Hank, anyhow. Like I said, I trusted Scott. ‘Do I smell a mission?’

‘Maybe.’ Scott was smiling thoughtfully now, thumb brushing the condensation forming on the outside of his glass. ‘Would you be interested in it, if there was one?’

‘If you’d have me along.’ I tried to sound less eager, but let’s face it, I’m a born adrenaline junkie.

‘I looked over your spar with Kurt, and I think you’re ready for more responsibility. You’ve show a great deal of improvement. It’d be useful to have someone who’s invisible psionically, too.’

‘You can count on me.’ I gave him a mock salute. ‘So you guys gonna let me in on the big-league secret? You obviously know something. Did you debrief Wolverine yet?’

Hank stretched, cat like, on the lounger, ‘Well, I had a most instructive conversation with him this morning. It appears as though the technology for the tracking device you have the good fortune to observe so closely was developed by Fisk Industries, which develops security systems on a consulting basis. It appears as though they are small time weapons dealers on the side, and have most recently sold a great amount of their very latest technology to a businessman by the name of Donald Pierce.’

‘Whoa, wait. I’ve heard of him. I’ve seen him. D’you remember when Warren posed for GQ for their most eligible bachelors edition? Donald Pierce was in there, too.’ I cast a meaningful eyebrow lift toward Ororo. ‘He’s totally hot, too.’

‘And involved with some rather questionable activities, as well.’ Hank observed. Good old Scott, with his weird ironic sense of humour, snickered.

‘Maybe you’re not ready for the field ops, Jubilee, if all you can think about the baddies is that they’re totally hot. Can’t risk you doing a runner on us if Pierce bats his eyelashes, can we?’

‘Please. I’m no Allerdyce.’ ’Besides,’ my treacherous little libido elbowed me in the ribs, ’nothing’s better than charging into the fray behind your tight leather-clad arse, oh, Fearless Leader.’

‘Good to know.’ He grinned, as though he’d picked up on what I was thinking.

‘So, this dude buys a bunch of weapons, the same time as our homeboy Wolvie gets shot up by a walking tin can, and we charge in to do some detecting?’ I realised they were all staring at me, wide-eyed. ‘What? I think it. I think it’ll be fun.’

‘Where did you hear a description of his attacker?’ Scott asked quietly. Oh. Balls. Big, furry, sweaty balls. Ah, well, when in doubt, tell the truth. Doesn’t mean you have to be honest.

‘Oh, Logan must’ve mentioned.’

‘Logan?’ one of Scott’s eyebrows slid up. Well, poop.

‘That’s his name isn’t it?’ I said blithely. Retreat! Retreat! ‘Oh boy, look at the time. I have been out here in the sun for just about way too long. Starting to feel that tingly burning feeling. I’d better get going. Don’t wanna risk getting melanoma or anything.’ I slung my towel round my hips and began to walk away, and nearly panicked when Ororo followed me a little way. I stopped at the porch door. ‘Hey, Ro. What’s the happy-haps? Can I get you anything from the house? Ice? Sun cream? Something on a silver platter?’

‘Jubilation,’ she began, in her most careful voice. Eep.

‘Winning lottery ticket?’ she was smiling now. Oh Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

‘Perhaps I need not tell you that there has been a rumour circulating since yesterday.’

‘Oh? What’s the scoop?’ I inquired, doing my best impression of innocent and probably only managing to look in need of more fibre in my diet.

‘You and Logan, apparently.’ Her smile turned into something less regal and more an expression I was accustomed to seeing on Kitty’s face. ‘A little bird told me that you had a rendezvous with him last night.’

‘Oh. That.’ My mind raced. What did she think? What had she heard? How could I make it look like the entire school had gotten things wrong? Because they had. It hadn’t been a rendezvous. Rendezvous were what you did with tell, dark men with smouldering eyes. Okay. Bad comparison. But you can’t involve naked Christian Bale in the beginning of an affair. That doesn’t work.

‘Is there something going on between you? I do not judge, of course, but he is significantly older than you are, and not the most stable of men at the best of times…’

‘Hah. No worries, Ro,’ I laughed. ‘You know, he’s just a little stressed out about Rogue. Wanted some advice from one of her friends about how to go about spending more time with her. It was very after-school-special.’ Nothing convinces anyone of innocence faster than a direct look, full in the eye. I (scumbag that I am) used one of her. She smiled, looking relieved.

‘Thank the goddess. I thought for a moment that you, well…that you and Logan…and you are quite young, you know.’

I nodded understandingly. ‘Don’t worry. He’s totally not my type.’ I assured her. ‘Hey, I’ve gotta go. You enjoy your afternoon.’

‘You as well, Jubilation.’ She smiled, and turned back to the poolside, where Hank and Scott looked startled and tried to pretend they hadn’t just been straining to hear our conversation. I threw a last wave over my shoulder and headed indoors.

There were only about six hours left in my weekend, and I intended to use them wisely. Of course, my definition of ‘wisely’ is pretty broad.

Xavier’s is a crowded place, even when most of the student body is out buying clothes and clogging their arteries at the local diner, and the chance of avoiding someone forever is pretty slim, so when I flopped down in front of the PlayStation to sneakily level up my character, it wasn’t long before there was a rustle of wings, and Warren stepped in. He looked vaguely murderous.

‘Where’s your boyfriend?’ he jeered, crossing his arms. He really did go out of his way to look like a Playgirl centrefold, what with the avoidance of shirts and everything.

‘Married to Satsuki Mitchell, last I checked, but I’m sure he’ll come round.’ He gave me an adorably puzzled look, and I took the opportunity to defuse his little tantrum. I patted the divan cushion next to me. ‘Why don’t you snuggle up with Auntie Jubilee and let her kick your butt at…’ I squinted at the games spread out on the coffee table, ‘…Speed Demon?’

‘Fuck off, I’m high score holder.’

‘Tsch. Since when? I’ve been doing bajillion-hour service as an industrial grade ass-kicking machine in the Danger Room for the past month. I haven’t played in ages. I’ll burn your high score by fifteen seconds.’

‘Oh, yeah?’ his chest inflated in a classic pose of a teenaged boy whose video game skills have been brought into question, and he slid down beside me, snatching up a controller. ‘We’ll see about that. Santa Ana track?’

‘Grand Canyon.’ I replied, as coolly as I dared. ‘Oh. Sweet. You unlocked the Lamborghini.’ He grinned smugly by way of reply. ‘Most excellent.’ As our screen loaded, he looked sidelong at me.

‘Hey, Jubilee, I didn’t mean to be a dick. There’s just this rumour…’

‘Yeah. Seems everyone know how hot and heavy Wolverine and I are getting except for, you know, Wolverine and me.’

‘I just thought…you never said you weren’t, and…’

‘I’m saying it now.’ I nodded toward the screen as the preview of the track flicked by.

‘So you and him aren’t…aren’t hanging out?’

‘Hanging out, yes. Going out, no.’ I pressed my trigger to accelerate, and quickly took the lead.

‘So,’ Warren’s one of those guys who leans into the action when he’s playing video games, and his wings extended out behind us. Thank God for backless furniture. ‘You’re still single.’

‘As of this moment, yes. But dude, I don’t want anything to do with Kitty or Marie’s little plots to get me to live happily ever freakin’ after, capisce?’ I risked a look at him. His lips were set in a white line. Fortunately, Worthington’s one of those clever guys who can perform complex multitasks like walking and chewing gum at the same time, and he quickly caught up with both the thrust of my conversation and with my lime green Ferrari.

‘I’m not asking you out because Rogue and Kitty think I should.’ He said, his voice only the least bit strained.

I cursed at him good naturedly for taking the lead, ‘But you’re not asking me out.’

‘Well I will, once I can figure out how to get you to shut up for longer than a nanosecond. Fuck, you are good. Bobby said you suck, the little liar.’

I careened into the lead again, kicking in the fuel injection bonus I’d picked up and blazing past him. ‘So, I’m shut up. Go on, Worthington.’

‘Hold on. Lemme beat you first.’

‘Filthy boy.’ I grinned, and proceeded to annihilate him. Oh, yes. The Grand Canyon may have been the toughest track, but I knew it backward and forward, and the Ferrari had just the right torque vs. control to take the careening turns along the crazy gullies. I put down the controller and folded my arms. ‘What was that about being the high score holder?’ I teased.

‘Wednesday night, nine o’clock? We can catch a film in town.’

‘Don’t know. Gotta check my schedule.’

‘Jubilee…’ he sighed. ‘If you’re going to play hard to get, that’s cool. Just let me know when you’re finished.’

‘Whoa. I’m actually not being an asshole, for once in my life. Summers wants to run a bunch of tests on me, and I don’t know when. I think I’m his favourite little science project. I’ll let you know by Tuesday.’

‘That’s a yes, then? He flipped through the games strewn across the coffee table.

‘If I’m not strapped down to a cold metal table at nine on Wednesday night, it is.’ I snapped back. He smiled triumphantly at Call of Duty 3.

‘Cool. Lemme know when you know.’ He flicked the controller away and left, struggling through the door just a little before folding his wings up. I sat back, and stared at the flashing screen, wondering idly why I’d just agreed to going on a date with Warren. I’d meant it, just the night before, when I’d told Rogue that I didn’t like him. Not enough to date him, anyhow. Of course he was gorgeous. It’s difficult not to be when you have sixteen-foot white wings. And he was fun, too, in a buddy-friendly way. And I needed to do something to quell these rumours about Logan. It wouldn’t exactly be torture, going to see a movie with him. No real harm in it, and I’ll try anything once.