In Fear of Three Little Words

What an eventful weekend!! Hope all you mothers out there had a lovely mother's day. My kids took me to see Van Helsing for my present. Whoohoo!! Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man on this earth. The critics can screw themselves. I loved it.

Well, onto business. Tana...I'm so glad you enjoyed Kurt getting to top this time. I rather enjoyed writing it far more than I thought I would.

faleeple, thanks for your review. Disturbing...I like that. I like that a lot.

lila thanks and Dark...yes, that was soooooo yummy that I decided I had to do an encore...this time from Kurt's POV.

Everyone enjoy!

Chapter 60


Kurt woke with the sun prying at his eyes, peeking through a slit in the curtains. He felt Logan warm against his back, an arm flung over Kurt’s waist.

Only a day ago, Kurt would have gone into a panic with Logan so close against his back with nothing between them, but something had settled down inside of him, had allowed him to relax his guarded stance...the one he’d held even against Logan.

Not that all was f..no..not that all the trauma was forgotten. Logan had simply passed some kind of test in Kurt’s mind, his lover offering himself up and giving Kurt control. Giving up that control didn’t come easily to Logan and the effort and willingness touched places deep inside of Kurt and eased some of his pain.

With a sigh of contentment, Kurt drew Logan’s hand up against his chest and held on.

Memories of last night roamed his sleep-laced mind, floating dreamily through his brain and tickling his body deliciously. He felt a stirring in his groin at the thought of Logan’s body, the muscular arms, the strong thighs and beautiful tight ass that so willingly let Kurt inside.

He was officially no longer a virgin...although he felt rather silly thinking in those terms considering the months of sexual activity. Yet, there was something about being on that sid the the love making, something empowering. He was a man now.

And he hadn’t been before?

Silly to think in that way. Silly to measure one’s manliness by who dominated whom. As Logan said, they were equals in their relationship. Yet Logan had the advantage of age and experience and size.

And was man enough not to hesitate in giving Kurt what he needed at that moment.

Kurt tried not to squirm while his cock hardened and began to throb with need. Logan stirred behind him and kissed his hair, hand sliding down to stroke Kurt’s stomach.

“Ya want me to help ya with that?” Logan asked in his morning growl.

Kurt gave an embarrassed laugh. “I could use some help...yes.” He turned his face and Logan’s mouth caught his. Reaching back, Kurt caressed the strong jaw rough with a day’s growth of beard.

Logan’s hand moved lower, gripping Kurt’s hard cock with a firm grip. The kiss deepened and Kurt shoved away the fleeting images of Sabertooth that tried to invade his thoughts. He conjured up instead, memories of heated, passionate sex, grasping at their love that endured and rose like a phoenix out of the ashes of tragedy.

He rocked against Logan’s hand and for the first time since that terrible ordeal, wished Logan was inside of him, making love to him as they used to with such abandon.

But Kurt was too far gone to stop now. He dangled on the precipice of orgasm, teetering on that fine knife edge. Logan must have sensed how close he was and sucked on his tongue, sending Kurt diving over the cliff and into the depth of luscious sensation.

He cried out against Logan’s mouth and sucked in his lover’s breath. Logan’s murmurs of loving encouragement competed with the roaring in Kurt’s ears until his breath began to ease and the roar died away.

In Logan’s embrace, Kurt lay, enjoying the soothing stroking of his fur and Logan’s kisses along his neck and shoulder, his ear and hair and cheek.

Finally, Kurt turned his face and offered Logan a lazy smile.

“Mornin’, elf,” Logan said, returning the smile.

“What a nice way to say good morning,” Kurt replied in a languid voice.

“Glad to be of service.” Logan kissed him again then rolled to his back and stretched, rubbing his face and clearing his throat.

Kurt rolled over to watch, his lazy smile still in place.

Logan turned a one-eyed gaze to him. “Do I amuse you?”

Kurt’s smile broadened and he reached over and stroked a hand down Logan’s chest. “I was just thinking that even with your hair messed and you in bad need of a shave, you are still the handsomest man I have ever known.”

Logan let out a grunt of a laugh. “Then you either need your eyes examined or need to get out more.” Logan pushed up to sit, rubbed his face once more and started to climb from the bed.

Kurt reached out and touched Logan’s arm. “Where are you going? Don’t you want me to...reciprocate?”

With half a grin, Logan leaned down and ran a hand along Kurt’s cheek to the jaw, kissing him once again. “When ya gotta piss, ya gotta piss, elf. Anyway, we’ve got all day and all night. And yeah, I’ll expect some reciprocation.”

Kurt let Logan go and lay back, listening to the sound of the ocean just outside the cottage. The rise and fall of the surf relaxed his mind and he slipped into a light doze.

The sound of Logan in the kitchen stirred him awake again and Kurt climbed from bed and followed Logan’s route to the bathroom. The smell of coffee brewing greeted him when he came out and Kurt pulled on a pair of sweat pants and padded into the living room.

Logan stood at the sliding glass doors in sweat pants and tee shirt, staring out across the beach to the ocean. Kurt slipped up behind and wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist, laying his cheek against Logan’s back.

Hands slid over Kurt’s arms, stroking his fur.

“What are you thinking?” Kurt asked.

“Nothin’,” Logan shot back too quickly.

“Nothing? You stare at the ocean and think of nothing?”

Logan turned in Kurt’s embrace and pulled him close, holding on as if he’d disappear. And Kurt thought, at times like this, Logan was afraid of just that very thing.

“I’m...not going anywhere,” Kurt said, his voice gentle.

Logan’s hands ran over Kurt’s fur, ran up into his hair and he heard Logan sniffing him as if assuring himself that Kurt was not some doppleganger, assuring himself that Kurt was real and solid and truly Kurt.

He felt a kiss against his temple and Logan released his hold and headed towards the kitchen.

“Coffee?”

“Um, sure, coffee.” He followed after and said, “did you have a bad dream last night or something?”

Logan didn’t look at him. “Nah. You? I didn’t hear you?”

Kurt accepted the offered cup. “I slept very well. Not a single nightmare.”

Logan reached out and traced Kurt’s face with a finger. “Good. I kinda hoped this place would do that for you.”

“It’s so peaceful here.” Kurt looked inward a moment, examining his feelings. “I feel...safe here...with you. More safe than I’ve felt in a long time.”

“Good,” Logan said, but his eyes were troubled, dark and stormy.

“What is wrong, Logan? Something is bothering you. Did I do something----”

“You’ve done nothin’ wrong, sweetheart,” Logan stated, cutting Kurt off. “You’re perfect. It’s me...sometimes....” Logan shook his head.

Kurt set aside his cup and took Logan’s from his grasp and set it aside as well. “Talk to me. Sometimes what?”

Logan shook his head again. “Sometimes...if things feel too perfect...I guess I fight it. I guess, maybe I think it can’t last. Cause it never does.”

Kurt offered Logan a sympathetic smile. “You’re right, perfect moments don’t last. We have to take them and enjoy them when they come and appreciate them for what they are. Single perfect moments. Then we get on with life and deal with the rest of the not so perfect moments.”

Logan reached for Kurt again, enfolding him in a loving embrace, not tight and constricting, just firm anperfperfect.

Kurt sighed. “I love you, Logan. I need you and I want you. And to me...that’s as perfect as I can hope for.”

“Ah, sweetheart,” Logan said, a gentle murmur in Kurt’s ear. “My elf. I didn’t mean to wake up with this damned melancholy. It’s hard to control.”

Kurt pulled back and gazed into those brooding eyes. “Then let’s get dressed and take a walk on the beach and let the ocean breeze wash that melancholy away.”

Logan tried for a smile. “You’ve got all the answers, don’t ya?”

“Not really. With you, I just have to play everything by ear.”

The ocean breeze was morning brisk, almost icy around the edges, but Kurt didn’t mind. He felt his mind clear to crystal clarity and Logan’s hand was warm in his.

A few other people were on the beach as well and Kurt felt their scrutiny oo meo men walking hand in hand. He suppressed a grin and wondered how they’d react if he turned off his holo watch and they saw him as he truly was.

Logan looked over at him and gave him an eyebrow up as if reading his mind. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, elf. We don’t need the trouble.”

“You’re no fun at all,” Kurt said in a fake grumble and pulled Logan closer, their hips bumping as they walked.

Logan let go of Kurt’s hand and wrapped an arm over Kurt’s shoulders, reaching to stroke the hair from Kurt’s face when the wind whipped up.

“Are you feeling any better?” Kurt asked as they turned back towards the cottage.

Logan gave a nod. “Yeah, you know just what I need.” He stopped them near the water’s edge and turned Kurt to him. The brooding eyes held a glint now and the darkness had lightened with the gleam of sensuality. “You’re just what I need.”

The sun broke through the morning clouds and gently sent a cascade of warmth through Kurt. “Then let’s go snuggle. I owe you a reciprocation.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Logan asked with sarcasm.

Kurt waggled his eyebrows. “I’m hungry...for you.”

Kurt pulled the curtains across the sliding glass doors while Logan stoked the fire, building it to a nice blaze. Undressed and in bed, Kurt watched Logan kneeling over the fire and when he rose and turned toward the bed, Kurt felt his heart skip and pound and skip again.

He watched Logan undress and slip between the sheets. Logan’s arms wrapped around him and Kurt melded into Logan. Their mouths came together and Kurt tasted coffee and mint from toothpaste and hoped Logan didn’t mind that he hadn’t gotten around to brushing his teeth yet.

But Logan didn’t seem to notice, their kiss deepening and Kurt felt a swell of giddiness wash over him, his heart doing that skip pound skip again which was better than a panic attack any day. Logan’s hands roamed over Kurt’s body, firm and rough, gentle and soothing and the feel of Logan beneath Kurt’s fingers was all hard muscle and smooth skin.

Kurt slid his hand down Logan’s chest and stomach and gripped a hard throbbing cock, stroking a few times before Logan stopped him with gentle insistence.

Logan’s eyes were full of heat and his breath was just short of ragged. “Not like that.”

Kurt looked away with anxiety tickling his nerves and his heart laboring a little harder. He swallowed hard to gain control before the panic rose inside of him and destr thi this chance at intimacy. But he craved that control he’d had last night...while Logan had grown tired of waiting on him.

A hand drew Kurt’s gaze back. “I want you inside me while you do that...okay?”

Kurt almost laughed with relief, the feeling washing away his panic and fear.

“You thought I meant I wanted to take you?” Logan said, gripping Kurt’s chin. “Didn’t ya?”

Kurt gave a shrug. “I’m sorry. I should have known better.”

“That’s right. You should. I’ll wait for you, elf. I’ll wait as long as it takes. You decide when and where you let me take you again. Ya got that?”

“I’ve got that.”

“Good. Now do ya wanna do this or not?”

“Oh, I do...yes, of course.”

“That’s the answer I wanted to hear.” Logan reached for the bedside table, digging out a condom from the drawer and laying the tube of lubrication nearby. “Try not to bust this one.”

Kurt wrinkled his nose at Logan and bared his teeth. He rolled on the condom and offered Logan a triumphant smile.

“You’ll be an expert in no time,” Logan said.

“I plan on it,” Kurt replied with more confidence than he felt.

Logan rolled onto his hands and knees and threw a look behind him. “This okay?”

Kurt sat back on his haunches gazing at the most sexy ass. He reached out and drew a hand over the swell of Logan’s buttocks and sighed. “Oh, yes, very okay. You have a beautiful ass, Logan...with jeans or without.”

Logan gave a noncommital growl in response. “Don’t just sit there starin’ at my ass, elf. I want you.”

Kurt leaned up over Logan, reaching around to fondle Logan’s balls and give his cock a few lingering strokes. “Don’t be so pushy.”

Logan growled again, but Kurt heard humor this time. “Yer learnin’, sweetheart. Yer learnin’.”

Spreading lubrication onto his fingers, Kurt stroked Logan’s hole andlizelized Logan would probably be just as tight as he was the night before. Logan’s healing ability could actually be a detriment to Logan in this circumstance, healing so quickly that he’d be like a virgin every time Kurt took him.

But then Logan was tough and hadn’t seemed to suffer much the first time. Kurt slid a finger into Logan, going deep and finding the prostate, made sure to stroke over it on the way back out.

Logan let out a moan and thrust his hips against Kurt’s hand. Kurt ran a hand over Logan’s hip and thigh, back up to caress Logan’s back and hip once more. The next time he slid two fingers in and Logan moaned again and his breath came hard.

Slipping his fingers out, Kurt leaned up along Logan’s body. He ran fingers into Logan’s hair and turned Logan’s face to his Tho Those dark eyes were full of lust and Logan’s mouth reached for Kurt’s and sucked his bottom lip.

“You are so ready for me,” Kurt purred, pulling back and licking his lips with the tip of his tongue.

“Do it, baby,” Logan growled low in his throat. “Take me and make me come.”

“Oh god, Logan,” Kurt said with a hard swallow. He kissed his lover once more and moved to snuggle close up against Logan’s back.

Kurt pressed his cock to Logan’s opening and with a single thrust slid into that tight passage, ripe for his entry.

Logan let out a breath with a grunt, but met Kurt’s thrust without flinching. Confidence filled Kurt up, last night’s success still fresh in his mind. He pulled back and thrust again, remembering the angle that would give Logan the most pleasure.

Panting, with his head hanging down, Logan met Kurt’s thrust without any sign of pain or even discomfort.

Kurt worked to get in rhythm, trying to coordinate enough that he could reach around to grip Logan’s cock. He shifted his weight and leaned on Logan more, thrusting in short, hard strokes.
Working his hand around Logan’s hip, Kurt fumbled and got a grip on Logan’s cock, seeking to match the rhythm of their thrusts.

Logan’s head shot up and a howl of raw emotion escaped from between clenched teeth.

A light-headed feeling rushed through Kurt and he felt like he was flying, all his nerve endings quivering and screaming in the most delicious way.

Logan thrust back against him and Kurt thrust forward, holding onto Logan’s cock with an iron grip. He stroked and found his concentration hard to maintain, but at that moment, he just wanted to make Logan come and come hard, harder than Logan ever had in his life.

And Logan seemed just as determined, caught up in sensation with seeming abandon.

The edges of orgasm pulsed inside of Kurt and he tried to hold back, tried to control the need that was absolutely essential to his continued existence. He stroked Logan harder and worked his other hand around, gripping Logan’s balls and squeezing gently.

Logan let out another howl and his orgasm spewed out of him. Kurt had to hang on to keep from being dislodged as Logan thrust back against him then forward into his grip.

And his own coming washed over him, pulsing like a heartbeat. Kurt cried out at the mixture of ecstacy and that fine line of painful need, banging hard and deep into Logan.

They collapsed into a heap and Kurt lay on top of Logan, panting hard, still sucking up the last residue of his ebbing orgasm with little thrusting movements. He kissed Logan’s back and smoothing the dark hair from his lover’s neck, kissed and sucked lightly.

Logan let out a moan beneath him and turned his face to breath. Logan’s tongue came out to wet dry lips and Kurt reached to kiss the corner of Logan’s mouth. A smile appeared and Kurt kissed again, brushing his lips across the stubble of Logan’s jaw.

“I love you so much, Logan,” Kurt whispered, his voice full of the intensity he felt at that moment.

“I love you too, elf. You do know...that was phenomenal...don’t ya?”

“I thought it was pretty phenomenal myself...yes.”

Logan gave a chuckle and reached back and ran a hand down Kurt’s thigh.

“Time to get off, sweetheart. Yer heavier than you used to be.”

“Oh, sorry,” Kurt replied with a sheepish grin. “Getting off now.”

He pulled out and rolled off, carefully disposing of the condom. Logan rolled over, running his hands back through his hair and rubbing his face.

Kurt leaned up over Logan and bent to kiss his lover’s lips. Logan pullem dom down to lay in strong arms and the kisses were languid and long, deep and sweet and loving.

After a while, the kisses slowly ceased and Logan lay with his eyes closed, hand spread out along the base of Kurt’s tail. Kurt watched the rise and fall of Logan’s chest and sensed him dozing.

Kurt gazed with loving thoughts at his lover, the strong features and dark unruly hair, the stubborn stubbled jaw and nose slightly askew as if it had been broken and never quite set right.

He is handsome to me and I don’t care if anyone else thinks so.

Nuzzling close against Logan’s chest, Kurt closed his eyes and smiled. Dark thoughts had disappeared for the moment, memories erased clean for the time being. Kurt relaxed and let his mind drift on the ocean breeze with his lover close beside him. All was well between them for the moment.

One simple perfect moment in time.