Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

Chapter 56

Heading back upstairs to his and Logan’s room, anxiety rose inside of Kurt. That gnawing feeling in his stomach crawled up to his chest and gripped his heart. Outside the door, he took a deep breath and pushed on through.

Logan was pulling on his black uniform and tugging on his boots.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Where are you going?”

Logan turned that dark gaze on him, eyes sharp and cold. Then the warmth filled back up and the sharpness softened.

“No where, elf. But I’m feelin’ closed in.”

“Trapped?” Kurt suggested.

Logan’s gaze sharpened again and narrowed. “Yeah. That’s a good word for it. Need some exercise. How about ya pop us down ta the Danger Room and run the controls for me?”

“Of course.” He watched Logan finish suiting up, trying to imagine Logan leaving the Institute without him...leaving him behind.... “Do you want to know what the meeting was about?”

Glancing up from buckling his belt Logan said, “The Doc asked the Cajun ta come on board with the X-Men. Right?”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “How did you know?”

“Seemed obvious ta me. Gambit’s wheedled his way inta Rogue’s heart and now he’s workin’ on everybody else. He’s good at that.”

“What do you think about it...about Gambit?”

“He’s a con man. He knows how ta play the angles. If he does right by the Doc and the rest of us, he can stay. If he screws up, I’ll pitch ‘im outta here myself.”

“You may have to stand in line behind Scott.”

A mean little smile tugged up one corner of Logan’s mouth. “Yeah, I bet Cyke don’t like it one little bit. The kid needs ta loosen up that straight and narrow thing he’s got goin’ on.”

Kurt nodded.

Logan crossed the room to where Kurt stood. A palpable tension seemed to ripple through Logan’s muscles as if he was about to explode with pent up rage. “Let’s do it, elf.”

Kurt took hold of Logan’s arm and “ported” them to just outside the control room. Logan unlocked the door with voice and retina scan and strode up to the controls.

“I’ll set it like I want it and all you’ll have ta do it push this button when I say to. Got that?”

“I’ve got it,” Kurt replied, glancing at the setting and frowning. “Isn’t that a little high? Don’t you want to work up to that level since what’s happened the last few days?”

A little growl rumbled in Logan’s throat. “It’s just the way I want it, darlin’ so just do what I tell ya...okay?”

Kurt bit his lower lip and took a step back from Logan, warning bells going off inside his brain.

Logan closed his eyes, fists clenched and a long breath rushed out of him. When his eyes open again, Logan reached for Kurt, drawing him in. “Sorry, baby. I don’t got much patience right now. I don’t mean ta take it out on you.”

“I know,” Kurt said, stroking Logan’s back. The muscles were rigid beneath the uniform, hard and unyielding. “Maybe this workout will help.”

Logan pulled back, holding Kurt by the biceps. “That’s what I’m hopin’. I need ta work some stuff outta me or I’m gonna blow up.”

Kurt nodded and turned to the control panel. “So just press this button when you say to...right?”

“Right. Then press this one when I’m finished.”

“Got it,” Kurt said with a mock salute and settled into the chair.

Logan bent low over him, lips catching Kurt’s. “I love you, baby.”

Kurt smiled. “I love you too, Logan.” He swivelled in the chair and watched Logan’s retreating back. A few moments later, the lower doors slid open and Logan strode into the Danger Room, ready to do battle with the technological enemy...and with whatever dangerous thing lurked inside himself.

Logan gave a nod and Kurt pushed the button.

The sounds of gears and lubricated metal moving filled the room below, filtering through the shatterproof glass with a muffled rumble. Logan crouched, ready to meet the multiple attacks.

Kurt flinched when the huge metal arm came crashing down like a giant fist. Logan sprang and the flash of his claws slashed through metal, sparks flying. The whir of blades came roaring towards Logan, ready to cut him in half. But Logan leapt and whirled, dancing on the blades. He leapt again, meeting another metal fist determined to smash him.

Kurt chewed his lip, flinching repeatedly with one close call after another, but Logan was always ahead of whatever potentially lethal mechanism came at him, the speed picking up, the velocity pushing the limits. Logan took more than one hit, but stone cold rage flashed in his eyes as if he might be imagining Mystique impaled on his claws.

Smoke poured out from a shattered gear, flames licking around the base. Everything else kept moving and Logan with it, even with the smoke obscuring sight.

“I’m turning it off, Logan,” Kurt said into the microphone. “We need to take care of the fire.”

“NO!” Logan’s snarl was guttural, like the roar of a wounded beast. “Don’t touch it!”

“Logan!”

“I said, don’t touch it!!”

“Turn it off, Kurt,” a calm, cultured voice said behind him. Kurt whirled in his chair to find Professor Xavier, Scott and Jean there. With a nod, Kurt turned back and pressed the button.

The arms and blades and all the rest slowed and stopped, flames and smoke still rising in the center of the room.

“Why’d ya do that, elf?!” Logan snarled. His claws were fully extended and he stared up at the glass control room as if he wanted to rip Kurt apart for disobeying him.

“Because I told him to, Logan,” The Professor stated in a gentle tone. “Scott...Jean, please help Logan put out the fire.”

“Yes, Professor,” they murmured and went.

The Professor’s hand fell on Kurt’s shoulder, offering a comforting squeeze.

“I don’t know how to help him, Professor.”

“It’s all right, Kurt. You’re doing just fine.”

Kurt shook his head and stared down at his hands in his lap. “He’s so full of rage. He’s...I don’t know...so full of pain.” He looked up and met a sympathetic gaze, The Professor’s empathy apparent. He shook his head again and looked away back out over the Danger Room.

Jean and Scott had come in, putting out the fire with extinguishers. Logan stood with his back to them, claws safely sheathed again. His hands went to his head and his fingers ran through and locked onto his hair.

The flames died under the onslaught of foam and Kurt watched Jean set aside her tank and walk over to Logan.

“It’s okay, Logan,” she said, reaching out to him.

Logan shoved away, a hand going out to ward her off. But he didn’t look her in the eyes, made no eye contact at all. Scott noticed what was happening and headed over.

“Don’t, red,” Logan growled. “Just go away...please Jeannie. Just leave me alone.”

“Hey, Logan,” Scott began. “We know you’ve been through some pretty rough stuff with Mystique, but we’re trying to help you.”

“I don’t need no help,” Logan shot back, still unwilling to look either of them in the eyes. “I just need you and Jean ta leave me alone. Do ya think ya can do that?” There was challenge in Logan’s tone.

“You can really be an ungrateful bastard sometimes,” Scott replied. “Yeah, I can leave you alone and so can Jean.” Scott took hold of Jean’s arm and said, “come on. Logan doesn’t want or need our help.”

“Scott,” Jean said, resisting the tug on her arm. “Can’t you see Logan’s hurting. He’s pushing us away because of his pain.”

Logan turned on them then and the look on his face sent a rush of terror through Kurt. He gasped and shoved to his feet.

“Yer wrong, little girlie,” Logan said in a deadly tone, eyes blazing again with that cold fury. “I’m pushin’ cause I don’t need ya in my face!”

Kurt “ported” to Logan’s side, reaching out in spite of his fear of Logan turning that fury on him.

“Please go,” Kurt said to Scott and Jean and placed a hand on Logan’s arm. The nerves jumped and quivered, muscles tightening beneath taut skin. “Logan needs some distance. Some space. Please don’t judge him for his actions right now. Please.”

“I don’t need you ta defend me, elf,” Logan said, pulling Kurt to him with a hard grip.

Scott started forward, but Kurt put up a hand. “No, Scott. Just go, please just go. I’ll handle Logan.”

“Right,” Scott replied with a cynical tone. “Looks to me, Logan’s the one handling you.” With that, Scott turned and stalked away. Jean hesitated for a fraction of a moment, her eyes full of her empathy. Then she went, following Scott out the door.

“And just how do you think yer gonna handle me, elf?” Logan growled low into Kurt’s ear.

Kurt turned to face Logan, still restrained by a hard grip. He gazed into dark eyes that seemed like a strangers, too much like the Logan Mystique portrayed. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “With love? With understanding? With empathy for your pain and humiliation? I understand all of it, Logan. And I’d give anything for you to have never experienced it.”

Logan’s expression turned blank, the fury draining away. His grip loosened, leaving a throbbing ache pulsing in Kurt’s arm.

“God, elf, you deserve better than this,” Logan whispered and pulled him into a gentle embrace. “God, I don’t wanna do this ta you. Drag you inta this mess.”

“I’m already in it,” Kurt whispered back. “This is where I belong, Logan. Sharing your pain.”

“It’s an ugly place ta be, sweetheart.”

Kurt turned Logan’s face, forcing their gazes to meet. “I’ve been to some pretty ugly places. If I can live through Trask and Sabertooth, I can help you live with whatever Mystique did to you.”

Logan’s fingers stroke Kurt’s face, eyes glistening and it seemed to Kurt as if Logan struggled with some demon that once was buried deep inside, and now lurked right at the surface of Logan’s psyche. Logan stared into Kurt’s eyes for one long eternal moment then Logan pulled him close again, holding on with a desperation that scared Kurt all the more.