By Your Side

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At first Victor went to get something to eat, and after that he went to the gym and spent some hours working out. He fought like crazy, and adamantly tried to focus on the weights not having to think about Magneto and that that happened during the afternoon. He could not lay it off his mind. The image of Erik’s confused and sad face lingein hin his head and gave him no peace of mind.
Sure, the proposal to become monogamous had shocked Victor, but was that truly a reason to act like he had done? What he did was almost unforgivable, especially the last thing he said to Erik before he rushed out of his room. “You’re sick, old man!”
While Victor was scrubbing his sweaty, massive body in the shower after the work out, he thought about going back and talking to Erik about this. Provided of course, that Erik *wanted* to talk to him.
Sabretooth had an unpleasant feeling that he had gravely hurt Magneto.
Victor turned the shower off, wiped himself, and got dressed. He threw his long, wet hair over his shoulder, not bothering either to wipe it or comb it.
This was it. He had no idea what he’d tell Erik now after this, but he had to come up with something. He cared a lot about the old man, and did definitely not want to fall out with him.
Victor swallowed as he approached the door to Erik’s room, although he did not back out, but went there boldly and knocked. He received no reply. After knocking once more and not getting any answer, he called,
“Erik? Are you in there? Can I come in? Erik? Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. Come on, now, let me in.”
Still nothing. It was of course possible, that Erik was not in there at the moment, but that was unlikely, since Victor had already checked all other places in their lair.
Victor decided to try the door to see if it was unlocked. Erik had not said he could come in, but he hadn’t said the opposite either, and the lack of replies started to make Victor worried.
Erik had been angry with him before too, for various reasons, but he had never refused to answer him, even though he could be a real ice prince when he was pissed.
I just hope nothing has happened to him, Victor thought as he brought his hand to the doorknob to check if it happened to be unlocked.
It was. In case it had been locked, there hadn’t been much to do for Victor - even he couldn’t break a 4 inches thick door made of solid steel - but the door was unlocked, and the large man looked inside the room.
Magneto was lying on his side in the bed, still naked, and vomits were pouring out of his mouth onto the pillow under his head. An empty bottle of whisky was standing on the bedside table, and a glass lay on the floor, not broken, although its content had been spilled out. The whole room reeke liq liquor, and it wasn’t hard understanding why.
Erik was vomiting, but not enough. Most of it was still left inside him, and the lack of oxygen was making his face red, and he gave out nasty, gurgling half-choked sounds.
Victor acted quickly without thinking. He tore the old man’s body off the bed and grabbed him under his arms. Absently noticing how limp Erik was, he pressed his ribcage with his massive arms and simultaneously threw himself backward, pulling Erik with him. A twitching noise sounded from Erik’s neck.
He gave out one last gurgling, and a flow of sourly smelling vomits flew out of his mouth, staining the wall, floor and the antique Turkish rug inside the room.
Erik, who now had unlimited access to oxygen, came round a bit and started coughing spasmodically and whimper miserably while the rest of the vomit poured out of his mouth and down onto the floor. He began yelping after some time and soon his yelps became sobs instead.
Victor remained completely still on the floor, still holding Erik by his armpits, too shocked to realize what had really happened.
The old man was conscious now, and no longer risked suffocating by his own vomits, but he was far from steady and needed support to stay on his feet, and his body was trembling.
Finally Sabretooth lifted him into his arms and carried him to the bed, where he gently put him down and then sat down next to him.
Erik brought a violently trembling hand to his face, trying to wipe his mouth. His gaze was blank, but tears had gathered in his eyes and made them shiny.
“Here, let me do that,” Victor said and picked up a tissue which he used to wipe Erik’s face with. He had traces of vomit around his mouth, chin and even on his chest. Victor wiped it all away.
Now their eyes met for the first time. Victor realized more than well what was going on, and it upset him greatly. Erik must have gotten reeling drunk again, fallen asleep, and almost been suffocated by his own vomits. Because he had been too drunk to throw up.
A few more minutes, and he would have...
When Victor looked into his eyes now, he was met by grief, shame and self-pity. After some time Erik turned his eyes away. He couldn’t make himself look Victor in the eyes.
Of course Victor was enormously relieved that he had been able to save Erik in time, but that feeling soon gave way for the anger.
“What the fuck were you doing?!” he growled and grabbed the old man’s upper arms, shaking him roughly. “Huh?! Were you gonna kill yourself with that shit? Don’t you get it? Some more minutes, and you would have...-”
He interrupted himself, since he couldn’t say the word “died”.
Erik kept his head down and his grey hair partially covered his face. He had allowed his hair to become uncommonly long this time. It was impossible to see his eyes.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you!”
Victor grabbed his jaw and turned his face up toward himself. Erik’s eyes were closed, but he opened them after some time and met Victor’s gaze again. This time he didn’t lower his eyes.
“There is something I have to tell you,” he whispered hoarsely, almost so quietly he couldn’t be heard.
“What’s that?”
“What I said before... There is a reason why I asked you that now. Victor...”
He raised his right hand, which still trembled, and gently caressed Victor’s coarse, bearded cheek.
“What I said... I didn’t mean it. You have to believe me. I know you’re not sick. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry, Erik. What that the reason why you...”
Magneto even managed to give him a sad smile. “My dear boy... You don’t understand. I *am* sick. Very sick. I have leukemia. Do you know what that is, Victor?”
Leukemia? The word wasn’t new to Victor, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. But he did know one thing - it was something terrible. A shiver passed through his spine and his hold of Erik tightened instinctively.
“Is it serious?” he asked, and felt the anxiety ooze within him like a huge wave of crude oil.
“Yes, Victor, it is serious,” Erik replied quietly. “I have blood cancer.”
Cancer! No! That could not be true. “No!” Victor roared and started shaking Magneto again. “You’re lying! You can’t have that! Tell me you’re lying!”
Erik grimaced in pain when Victor’s big, hard fingers sank down into his delicate upper arms and he objected to the treatment.
“Victor, stop it! You are hurting me! But I am telling you the truth. I *have* leukemia. You have to believe me.”
Victor released him at once. “Cancer...” he whispered. “Have you seen a doctor?”
Erik nodded. “Yes.”
“How long have you known?”
“Not very long... Three weeks...”
“Three weeks? And you haven’t told me?! Do the others know? Raven? Toad?”
“No... You are the first I am telling this to,” Erik said.
“What did the doctor say? Is it operable?”
Now Erik smiled sadly again. “No, Victor, it is not operable. This cancer is in my blood. Leukemia means that my body produces too many white blood cells, which then spread and attack my red blood cells. That is why I have been so weary and retired and losing weight. I am ill. Very ill.”
“How bad is it? Be honest.”
Erik hesitated. Then he sighed. “I...without treatment, I have about 1-2 years left,” he said fin.
.
When Erik had finished his sentence it felt like a large, heavy stone had been placed in Victor’s chest. Now he realized the truth. Erik would die. The only human being that he valued, respected and actually loved, would die. No. That couldn’t happen. There had to be something they could do.
“You said without treatment,” Victor said in a thick voice. “Haven’t you been given any treatment?”
Erik shook his head. “I declined. Just the treatment itself is a hell on earth, and I am not sure if I’m willing to go through it.”’
“But you can’t think like that!” Victor exclaimed, upset. “You have to try, and fight this! You hear me? You gotta fight...”
“You don’t understand,” began Erik, trying not to sob. “If I start chemotherapy, it will bring a lot of awful side effects. I will be stricken by nausea, fever, diarrhea, and then I will lose my hair...”
His voice broke and he couldn’t continue, but the sobs took over completely and made Erik cry bitterly. He had tried hard to take the answer with stoical acceptance, and stay happy the time he had left, but it would wor work, after all.”
At once Victor pulled the old man into his arms and cradled him tenderly as he tried to comfort him with words and caresses.
“It’s alright, Erik... It’s alright... But you realize you have to try, right? You really have to try... You can’t just give up...”
“Victor, I am old... I don’t know if I have the strength to fi..” ..”
“Yes, you have,” Victor assured him, but simultaneously he thought he himself would never get cancer, and would therefore never know what it was really like to have it.
Erik tried to stop crying and pull himself together again, and when he had managed somewhat, he turned his head up and looked into Victor’s eyes.
“There is one thing that could cure me,” he said in a slow and quiet voice.
“What is it? Tell me.”
“A bone marrow transplantation. Do you know what that is?”
“Not really, but if you need me to it, then I’ll be there,” Victor swore. “Whatever you need, you’ll get it from me. Anything. I mean it. Just tell me what you need.”
He really did mean it. If Erik needed something from him, he would not hesitate a second to give it. He could even give Erik his other lung, if only that would help him - but nothing like that was probably in question here.
“What do you need?” he asked again.
“Victor...”
Victor cupped Erik’s head in his hands and looked appealingly at him. He rubbed the old man’s cheekbone with his thumb and wiped off a tear that slowly rolled down his cheek. Erik looked miserable to say the least. His face was red-streaked with tears, and his watery, bloodshot eyes were surrounded by large bags and dark rings. And then he was so thin and pale, that he could almost have been mistaken for a corpse.
“What do you need?” Victor repeated one more time, emphasizing every word this time.
“Healthy bone marrow...” Erik said.
“I’ll give you that.”
Erik tried to smile through the tears that were filling his eyes. “My dear, listen to me. It is not an easy procedure. Not for me, anyway. I have to go through a long and difficult treatment before it can be done. And not even then is it certain that my body will accept your donated bone marrow.”
“But there’s a chance, right?” Victor asked. “My cells are special. We’ve seen before that my blood can heal small wounds in you. Then why couldn’t my bone marrow cure your disease?”
“I don’t know... I don’t know anything...”
“But you wanna try, don’t you?” Sabretooth inquired. “You won’t just give up? Erik! You’re gonna have a shot, won’t you?”
He grabbed Magneto by the shoulders again, although mildly this time, and gave him a requesting look. “What was your disease called again?” Victor asked.
“Chronic myeloid leukemia, abbreviated CML. It is one of the rarest forms of leukemia, but not the most difficult to cure.”
“Are you going to try? I’ll stay with you, no matter what your decision is,” Victor said seriously. “But I really hope you won’t just give up.”
“I don’t want to die...” Erik murmured.
“But alright! Please tell me you will try!”
Erik conferred with himself for a moment. If he refused treatment, his chances of survival were down at zero, though his last time would become somewhat painless and peaceful. If he chose treatment on the other hand, he could survive, but anyway, he had a difficult time ahead of him.
“I can’t make this alone,” he said at last. “To have a chance, I will need much support.”
“I’ll help you in any way I can,” promised Victor. “You needn’t worry about that. I’ll be here.”
He took the older man’s smaller, long-fingered hand in his own and squeezed it gently. Erik squeezed back, and seemed to have regained some of his spirits.
“Alright, I’ll consult the doctor again,” he said. “Will you accompany me there when it’s time? I don’t want to go alone.”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
Now Erik smiled again, and this time, his smile was positive, not just filled with hopelessness and despair.
“When will you tell Raven and Toad?” Victor asked. “I think they deserve to know, don’t you think?”
“Of course. I will tell Raven as soon as she comes home. She is not home yet, is she?”
Victor shook his head. “No. But when you tell her you have to make it clear you’re willing to fight. Remember that.”
“I will,” Magneto promised.
“Just tell me one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Were you about to kill yourself? With the liquor.”
Erik gave a chuckle. “No... I was not about to kill myself... I only felt so hopeless, and the bottle was the only thing that seemed to make me forget everything, so I... It was a stupid thing to do, I know.”
“It was,” Victor agreed. “You could have died, Erik. You have to promise me not to drink anymore. It won’t solve anything. Promise me. Here and now.”
“I promise. I am even going to get rid of all the liquor here. I can’t lose it now. I have to stay focused.”
Victor smiled and rubbed Erik’s neck with his hand.
“You know what? It won’t matter if you lose your hair,” he said. “You’ll just look like your ex-lover!”
“It will grow back,” Erik explained. “When the chemotherapy ends. Don’t worry.”
Victor laughed and passed his hand downward, along Erik’s naked back.
“Get yourself dressed now,” he said. “And we’ll go and have something to eat. Would you like that? You haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.”
“I have no actual appetite,” Erik said, scowling.
“But you have to eat. Otherwise you’ll just go weaker and weaker. Come on now. Put something on, and let’s go. You need to get away from this room for a while.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Erik sighed and slowly stood up.
He pulled on a pair of grey boxers, jeans and a large blue sweater with prints, plus a pair of slippers. When he was finished dressing, he looked at his reflection in the large full-figure mirror, and sighed when he saw what condition he was in.
This is only the beginning, he reminded himself. The chemotherapy will make me look like a walking corpse in the end. I had better get used to it.
Before they left the room, Victor grabbed Erik and gently pressed him up against his chest. “It’ll be alright, you see,” he said. “You’ll get well.”
A wry smiled formed in Erik’s red-streaked face and he looked up at Victor.
“What a softy you have become,” he said. “But I hope you’re right, of course.”
“Bah!” snorted Victor and pretended to push Magneto away. “I didn’t hear that. Come on now. You’ll have to try getting a little more alert till Mystique comes home.”
Sabretooth placed a protective arm around the older man’s slender shoulders and together they left the room. Later Victor would ask if he could move in there permanently. At least until Erik got well again. Until that, he could remain “soft”.


The End