The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER CHAPTER FOUR (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply


A/N Goddess Foxfeather, Queen of Mad Plotbunnies, mille grazie for helping me on this story and for betaing! Billy and Joaquin are making a big glittery card out of posterboard in your honor. :) InterNutter (without who's springboard this story would not exist!), TC and Maxwell Pink-thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! Readers/Reviewers: The kitties go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah... *g* Thank you, too!!!

The ride to Amanda's house was far from eventful, even given Kitty's rather interesting style of driving. Amanda took it all in stride, watching the other girl from the corner of her eye as they jerked to a halt several feet from a stop sign, Kitty's fingers clutching the wheel so tightly her knuckles were actually white. "It's not so bad you know."
"Huh? What?" Kitty snapped to attention as if she had just been woken up, blinking rapidly before finally fixing on Amanda's face.
"Driving. It's not so bad...you're just too tense."
"I think," Kitty said evenly, "I would know if I were tense." She slowly accelerated, inching forward before suddenly lurching mid-intersection and picking up a normal speed. "See? Not tense at all."
Amanda laughed weakly. "Um, if you want, I could show you how to drive... I mean, um...oh, Hell." She sighed at Kitty's glare. "I don't mean that you can't drive, just...I can show you how to do it without ruining the car."
Kitty felt Logan's influence when the growl rose in her throat. _What I wouldn't give for claws...long, metal claws... _ "Thank you, no. Logan showed me how to drive and that was good enough for me. Where do I turn?"
"Left on Foster then right on Dean. I'm the third house on the right. Kitty, do you not like me?"
The question was so out of the blue that Kitty actually gasped aloud. "Why do you think that?"
"I was just wondering. I mean," she twisted in her seat to face Kitty, her expression one of earnest appraisal. "Kurt was my boyfriend before he was yours..."
Kitty took a long breath and said as calmly as she could, "He may have been your boyfriend, Amanda, but he's always been _mine. _ " Amanda's jaw worked mutely, her eyes narrowing, as Kitty stopped in front of her house. "There you go. See you on Monday..."
"Kitty, I think you're misunderstanding what I'm trying to say..." Amanda unbuckled and opened the door, pausing to look back at Kitty, half-hopefully.
"Good night, Amanda," Kitty could not look at the exotic girl. She was ashamed to feel jealousy welling up in her like poison, burning her insides. "Amanda," she called before the girl shut the door. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve me being bitchy."
The other girl smiled. "It's okay. I know I probably felt something similar whenever Kurt looked at you while we were together... He inspires that in us, I guess..." She shrugged. "Um, see you Monday?"
"Sure...Monday." Kitty waited until she saw Amanda go inside, Mister Sefton peering out of the window next to the door to see who had dropped his daughter off. _Could this* be * any more* My So Called Life *?1 _

Scott groaned as Paolo murmured another apology, the stench of sick permeating the little car. Kurt's face was quickly gaining a permanent expression of revulsion, his hand clamped over his mouth and nose, as Scott raced towards Paolo's host parents' house. "Dude, just lean over the door...it's a convertible!" Scott cried as Paolo again threw up on the floorboards. "Kurt..."
"Drive faster, Scott...drive faster..." Kurt held his breath for as long as he could before expelling it all in a rush. "Mein Gott, this is disgusting!"
Paolo's voice drifted weakly from the back seat, "I'm sorry! I think it was something I ate!"
"Apparently..." Scott winced as the Italian teenager gagged again but thankfully seemed to be empty. "Was it school food?"
"Noooo....I think it was that brownie the Matthews fellow gave to me...it tasted funny."
Kurt raised a brow in Scott's direction. Biting the bullet and breathing normally, feeling as he felt nausea roll over him at the smell of the mess in the back of the car, Kurt said in measured tones, "Duncan Matthews? Tall, blond, athlete? Two goons-er, friends-and usually a girl or two in tow?"
"Si. That's him. He put it on my tray at lunch. Said it was from Kitty...but Kitty did not know about it, it seems. I think he was playing a joke, si?"
Scott sighed. "Joke, prank...there's a fine line..." He swung into the driveway of Paolo's foster parents' house and sighed, Kurt hopping out to help the taller youth to the door. _This is not only disgusting but cruel if it was a prank. Why would Matthews pin it on Kitty anyway? No telling with him...I don't think his IQ is even in the double digits most of the time. _
Kurt paused at the door of the car, having helped Paolo into the house and hurried away as the other teenager lurched in the direction of what Kurt could only hope was the bathroom. "Scott," he eyed the mess in the back seat with an expression close to nausea himself, "I can't get in there...I'll throw up."
"If I can stand it, you can...C'mon...we'll clean it up at home."
"We, round eye?2 On your own for that one..."
Scott lunged across the car and clamped one hand around Kurt's wrist and kept one on the steering wheel. "No way, Blue Boy! No porting out of this one. Get your tail in this car pronto or I'm telling Amara just who it was that drew mustaches on the pictures in her Cosmo."
Kurt sighed, sliding into the car with a grimace and whimper. "Just go fast, okay?"

Kitty made it home before Kurt and Scott, quickly passing from the garage to the kitchen and grabbing a pint of Chunky Monkey3 from the fridge, headed towards her bedroom. A small sniffle from the corner of the rec room near the pool table made her draw up short, however. "Hello?" Silence, then another small sniffle. "Like, I know you're here. Don't make me turn on the light!"
"Go away..."
"Todd?" Kitty took two cautious steps towards the corner and paused. "That is you, right? If this is like some weird god thing or Mystique, tell me now and get it over with so I can finish the nervous breakdown I started in November."
Todd sighed. "Kitty, please go away. I want to be alone in the dark and Lance is in our room writing really crappy songs to Amara."
"What's wrong with the lake? Don't you usually lurk around there when you're in a mood?" Kitty took another step and pried the lid from her ice cream, leaning against the couch in vague interest.
"Too cold...I'll make myself sick out there. Besides, Jamie and Rahne were out there walking earlier and I never heard 'em come back in..." A slight shift in the shadows let Kitty know he was standing, or at least moving now. His voice sounded like it was coming from a higher level, as well, when he said, "It's too late for them to be out walking."
Kitty smiled around her spoon. "Sweet of you to be so worried. They'll be fine if they're still out there... Todd, what's going on? Why are you hiding and crying?"
"Shit, Kitty...always prying, aren't you? Can't let a guy just be alone..." Rather than sounding bitter, he sounded flat.
Kitty snorted. "Fine, mope alone. Bottle it all up, get ulcers, drink Milk of Magnesia until you nearly pop from it, grow old prematurely and die of a heart attack when you're forty. See if I care." She presented her back to his shadow and walked towards the foyer.
"Damn it, you're weird. You know that? Class A freak of nature."
"Thanks. Now you gonna talk?" _If Rogue won't spill it, he will... _ She turned back to face him and held out the ice cream in a gesture of friendship.
"Ew...never eat the stuff. That's bad for you, you know." Todd loomed from the darkness, slightly hunched and looking worse for wear.
"Flies are?"
"You sound like her, you know. Not that I blame her for thinking I'm disgusting. I guess eating bugs is pretty nasty to you guys, huh?" Todd joined Kitty back against the couch, sitting on the headrest as if it were a perch. "We broke up," he said in a rush, without preamble.
"I know. You told us. Want to tell me why?"
"Not really, but I will anyway..." Todd relented and took the spoon and carton from Kitty, taking a large bite before handing it back.
Kitty took a similar bite and, vaguely realizing she was eating after Todd Tolensky, said in a strangled tone, "So?"
"Ah, well...you know when we had all that trouble a few weeks ago? That god thing? Well, um, one of 'em kind of tricked me into thinking they were Rogue. We did something...kind of. She did it and I was just sort of there, but I should've known it wasn't her beforehand...I mean, before she did what she did."
"Er...huh?" Kitty handed the carton and spoon back to Todd who took it without a word of protest.
"She...um...you know..." He made a rather rude gesture indicating oral sex.
"Oh. Oh my." Kitty took the carton back and was glad the room was dark. She would hate for Todd to see her blush cherry red.
"Yeah. Well. Rogue said she didn't hate me for it and wasn't mad, but..." he sighed and accepted the carton again, scraping the edges to get the softened ice cream, "I hate myself."
Kitty fell silent, not sure what to say. For several minutes, the only sound was the soft squish of the spoon into melting ice cream and murmured thanks as the carton was passed back and forth between the two teenagers. As they reached the bottom of the pint, Kitty finally spoke. "Rogue is really torn up, you know. She broke up with you because she thinks it hurts you to stay with her. She thinks if she breaks it off with you, you'll stop beating yourself up over what happened. At least, that's what I gathered in the bathroom."
Todd sat up straight, his heart thumping in his chest. "What else did she say? Did she say anything about me...I mean, specifically?"
Kitty could not help the ghost of a smile that flitted across her face. "We didn't get to talk long and when we got home from school, I had to get stuff together to go tutor Paolo the Puker. Er...I mean, Paolo. Look, Todd," Kitty turned to face him, making the supreme sacrifice and offering him the last of the ice cream, "Rogue loves you a lot. She just wants to see you happy, even to the point of hurting her self to make sure you aren't miserable."
"How can I be happy when she's not?" Todd sighed, scraping the spoon along the cardboard. "And how the Hell am I supposed to be happy when I'm not with her?"
Kitty stood and took the empty container from Todd. "I don't know what else to tell you...I just know that she's going to be mopey and miserable until you two are back together. She loves you, Todd. She really does. Anyone who would do something like this for another person is head over heels... Talk to her. I can't promise you she'll understand or that you'll understand her, but at least you won't be moping. Both of you..."
Todd sighed. "I just expect her to snap one day, to decide I'm not what she wants. And this," he made a vague gesture indicating what had happened, "isn't helping my peace of mind any."
Kitty raised her eyebrow. "Todd, nothing short of you murdering one of us could make her decide you're not the one for her. Even then, I think it would all depend on which one of us you killed..."
He snorted. "Thanks. I think. How do you and Kurt keep from getting jealous?"
Kitty blushed furiously. "Er...I don't know. Just do."
"Man, if I were you, I'd be green-er...greener-that Amanda's back. You know her first day here after getting home from France all she said to anyone is 'Where's Kurt? Have you seen Kurt? I'm sooooooooo anxious to see him...'. She was pretty torn up that you two are together..."
"Really? Why didn't I hear about this?"
"Oh. I guess it was when you two were taking the first few days of the semester off to rest after all that Mexico stuff." Todd shrugged. "But you two have no worries, huh? Man, I'm almost jealous of you."
Kitty watched him walk off with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. _Damn it. This isn't happy. _


1 Short lived show with Claire Danes, Jared Leto and AJ Langer. Teenaged angst that was actually quite good.
2 In old Westerns, the Native Americans called the non-Native Americans either pale face or round eye.
3 Ben and Jerry's has the best names for flavors. I don't like half of 'em, but the names are fun.