Lust and Cookies

Jubilee grinned in astonishment.

She had just bleached many strands of Paula's mid-length hair, who was previously of a plain brown colour. The result was a very cute Meg Ryan effect on Paula's head, who perfectly matched with Paula's codename.

Yeah, now Paula, no matter how lame her mutancy could seem, had found the perfect codename, both analogue to her power and some aspects of her character.

"So, how do you like it, Sweetheart?"

"Jubes, I know it's my nickname-"

"Codename"

"-codename or whatever, but hearing you call me a sweetheart mostly carries my mind to lesbianism and not to super-heroic action. Don't you think?"

Then Rogue walked in.

"Good mornin', sugah.", she said to Paula.

"Now,*Sugah*, that sounds much better-"

"Nah-ah-ah!'Sugah' is Rogue's trademark line, so you cannot possibly use it as your codename-"

"She could, but she would have to discuss it with mah lawyer first."

"Nooo,I *hate* lawyers!" Paula exclaimed.

"You do?What's your opinion about accountants, then?"

"What does this have to do with accountants", Rogue trio ino interfere.

"Quiet, silly! Now, Paula, tell me what do you think about accountants", Jubilation Lee grinned evilly.

"Well,I think that being an accountant is probably the lamest-"

"Ya know, Bobby is an accountant", Rogue tried again to participate in the conversation.

"-I mean, THE COOLEST job on Earth!", Paula fixed her almost fatal mistake.

"Hey, maybe we should fix her up with Bobby!" Said Rogue.

"Hey, you know, good idea, but *I* came first!", Jubilee
gleamed at her.

"Heey, Ah could help! Want me to go tell him anything? Ya know, warm him up?"

"Bobby isn't supposed to know anything. We can fix him up without him knowing. It's more of a challenge that way."

"Ah wanna participate. Ah have nothing else to do anyway, since the new hottie is again locked up in the infirmary and only males can enter."

"I'm surprised you're talking about me and my future boyfriend like I'm not in the same room.", Paula changed subject. She really didn't want to know anything about the Real-Life-Porn-Star or her fucking family.

All she wanted now was to concentrate on her unsuspecting victim(-er, lust object),with the deliciously simple name. Bobby Drake.

She froze for a moment thinking: "What the hell am I doing? What is the meaning of this...obsession over a man I barely know? I mean...he is handsome, but then so does every other man around here(even the blue furry guy is kinda cute).Doesn't this attraction seem...a bit unnatural?"

She paused, thinking how healthy and logical was it for her to be all over a guy she had seen twice in her life...and all two times in the few previous days.

"But, then, what *is* logical when it comes to matters of the heart? You like the guy? Eat your heart out! It's not like he's married or 15 years younger(which is not necessarily bad)!Stop thinking, Paula! Just...act!"

Paula had to agree with the voices in her head. It's not like they would leave her alone if she disagreed with them. They were in her head, after all.

"OK, so what if it's a little unnatural...I will go for it!", she exclaimed.

Both Rogue and Jubilee looked at her with confused, inquiring eyes and she realised that her last thought was said out loud.

***************************************************************


Dave was lying-once more-on the stupid uncomfortable bed of the infirmary. Three voices were hovering above his seemingly unconscious body.

"It's all my fault", Scott sniffed. "I could have killed him! I should have comprehended until today that the movies' serial killdo ndo not really exist, and they have no reason to come after me", he almost cried.

"Actually, Leatherface really existed, you know-"

"W-What?", he shivered at Bobby's words. Screw Dave. Now he had a brand new nightmare to keep him awake at nights. "The chainsaw guy?"

"Yup. But anyway it wasn't your fault at all. I should have remembered when I gave him that costume that the only reason I never wore it was your issues with scary movies. I should have expected your reaction when you would see him in that thing. I'm the one to blame", Bobby apologise.

"Actually", Hank interfered, "I was the one who lost his clothes, so I am the only person to blame".

"Actually, you're ALL to blame, dickheads!", an angered and certainly not unconscious Dave stood up and yelled at them. He was pissed off because everyone was apologising, but no one apologised to him specifically. "What kind of super heroes are you, anyway, If I can't even walk around your damn house and remain in one piece!"

All three gave him a Death look. Bobby turned to Hank:

"Hank, I think he needs more tranquilisers", he said, grinning.

"Right away!"

***************************************************************

Paula carefully entered Bobby Drake's room holding an empty plate in her hands. She would have looked around to estimate Bobby's taste in furniture, but what she heard made her turn her head at a fare ire interesting sight than furniture.

Bobby was lying on his bed and listening to a portable Discman, and his headphones acoustically separated him from the rest of the world. He sang loudly, just like every person wearing headpieces. AND he was in his undies. He was totally oblivious to her presence in the room.

He seemed to already be halfway through the song:

"I pushed her awaaaaay,

I walked to the door,
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
Then I looked at her and she at meee"

Paula ignored the highly pitched voice of Bobby, and concentrated on other gifts of his. He was tilting his head slightly back, obviously into the music he has listening to.He only wore a perfectly tight pair of navy blue briefs.

"Woof!", was Paula's vocal reaction. "Stud-puppy. Mmmm."

Bobby kept singing, as he couldn't feel the pair of eyes that were all over his body.

"Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
La-la-la-la Lola"

Under different circumstances, Bobby would have made a great fool of himself and would be eternally humiliated. But Paula could only find this musical catastrophe...endearing, at least.


"Well I left home just a week before,
And I’d never ever kissed a woman before,
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand,
And said dear boy I’m gonna make you a maaan-"

"Lola won't. But I gladly will, studlet", said Lola-eer, Paula. She tensed at first for being foolish enough to say that out loud, but then remember that her object of desire couldn’t' hear her anyway.


"Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man

But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man

And so is -PAULA!!", Bobby finally turned his head towards the door in the heat of performing, but instead of the Pamela Anderson poster at the back of his door, he saw the clerk he had found at the orgy-bank(actually, he could still see a bit of Pamela behind her-Pamela was BIG!).

Bobby leapt under his sheets, covering as much of himself as he could.

Paula was surprised, and yelped, while she tried to hide the empty plate behind her back. She couldn't help herself giggling, however, when she saw how Bobby was blushing, a hint of red covering his face and upper torso.

"But-Paula, what are you doing here?" Bobby cried in panic and embarrassment. A great first impression, he thought. He didn't know he had impressed some other way that woman long before the present day.

"I was just walking by and thought to say hi," Paula said while she silently used her mutant gift on the plate behind her, "and also thought I should thank you for standing by me when I was in a shock. So I brought you these-"she brought the plate in front of her and looked at it,"-cookies!!!"

"Oh, thanks! Wow! You cooked those for me?», Bobby sounded very enthusiastic.

Never base your relationships on lies, was what Paula's mother always told her. She must have known better, after 20 years of marriage with her father and at least 6 boyfriends during that marriage. A small number, since we couldn't count the one-night-stands as boyfriends.

"Actually, my mutant genes gave me the ability to create sweet stuff out of nothing. But they are as good as any cooked pastries."

"That explains the whipped cream at the bank. They will do for me. Thanks!" he smiled at her and she would have melted at the sight,if his shiny white teeth haven't blinded her.

"My pleasure. You know, I would like someone to show me around the whole place. And Jubilee said she would be busy, and I don't know anyone else around here and-"

"I can do it!" Bobby gleamed, and started realising that the girl was too friendly with him. Maybe she liked him, but not in the friendly-baby-brother way every X-Woman did. It was about time that would happen, he thought. Paula was no Jean or Ororo, but she easily beat most of his previous girlfriends or emotional interests.

Her new look also made her look better than before and somehow refreshed. "Oh-I love your new hairstyle" he added, breaking the silence.

"Oh-you noticed!" she came up to him and kissed him on the cheek sloppily. The kiss was spontaneous and far from sensual or emotionally charged, but it felt to him like a thousand tiny pink colibris flew through his veins, making him feel unusually warm. The feeling stunned him, and he paused for a few seconds.

"So-"she hopped, bringing to his mind the Energiser bunny," anytime you can give me that tour, I'll be at my room! I'll be going now! Bye!"

"Hey-"he said, before she closed the door behind her.

"Yes?"

"Uh...Can you create Twinkies too?"

"I guess so. You will soon find out!", she said, and closed the door, giving her place back to Pamela.

But the room already felt empty without her happily weird presence.

"Oh, man, don't tell me I fell for someone so easily again!" Iceman scolded himself, putting his palm on the forehead. That quick kiss somehow made his feelings for the girl stronger.

And she seemed too cheerful to become the same emotional disaster like some of his previous relationships.

"I have the feeling this could turn into something very good", he murmured to himself.
***************************************************************

Jubilee was waiting foula ula a few feet away from Bobby's door, leaning on the hallway's wall.

"So? How did it go? I told you he feels his clothing constricting while daydreaming of being a lead singer..."

"You were soooo right! He was, like, almost naked, it was so hard for me to concentrate, and when I told him goodbye-"

"Did you actually get any "love vibes" from him, or you just wasted a perfectly nice plate of cookies?", Jubilee was angry that her friend was delaying and keeping her in the shadow.

"I know it's too early to say that, but I feel like he's my bitch already", Paula answered with a nasty grin.

***************************************************************
Dave carefully sat on the edge of the mansion's roof.

"Man, this place is so peaceful", he thought. "It's strange that no one of the X-Men ever uses it as a brooding place or something."

The thing that actually felt strange to him was that he was still in that mansion, eager to do the super-heroing thing or something. That place couldn't fit him. When his mutant abilities first manifested, he knew that they could be used for a better life and in real-life terms he could get very far with them. But he also knew that he couldn't use them for the greater good like these guys down there do, but only for his own benefit. Good looks have no use in a full-fledged brawl.
And now he was living(even if it was for a few days) in the only place in the world where he couldn't be useful to himself. Now how strange is that?

"A penny for your thoughts", a voice was heard behind him. He turned around and saw Rogue, standing a few feet behind him, smiling to him like they were friends for years or something.

"Hey", he greeted her. He didn't feel threatened from her anymore since he was still wearing the Scream costume, but instead of the (dangerous for himself) mask, he wore a paper bag on his head, with two holes for him to peek through.

"Ya look ridiculous, ya know".

"Too bad for you. I don't care anymore how I good I look. I lost that interest a long time ago."

"Still, ya could find something less cliche to cover your head".

"I did. But I paid for it with an optic blast on my ass".

"What, Scott shot ya at the-"

"Metaphorically speaking."

"-Oh". She went close to the edge of the roof and sat next to him. "Ah see ya also discovered the spiritual significance of the mansion's roof, nah?"

"You mean I'm not the first to-"

"Of course not. There are like, legions of people who lived here before ya. Why would this place remain unexplored territory?"

"I'd like to be original, for once."

"Your originality is something we 'd better not discuss tonight.", she said, glancing to the rather overused Scream costume.

"Ok, let's find something else to discuss about, then", he said, his voice getting weaker every time.

"Ah know something's wrong in your mind. That's why ya're here after all. Sitting on the roof and thinking. Wanna share?"

"I don't think this place suits me. I'm no good in super-heroing. I have never been a do-gooder, after all. My powers...they're just no good to others. Only to myself."

"Ya're here to help us find your sister. Ya suggested it after all. Ya're not here to fit in. Ya can go after everything is over."

"That's a problem too. For a few years now I have been wandering the world, never a stable place to live, never a stable friend or companion...This is just the nature of my mutation. Now? This time, I made my way into this mansion, and, although I'm here for a few days and I can barely acknowledge it, everyone here is like family to each other. Of course nobody was especially friendly to me, cause I will soon be going. And I still don't feel good in this place...",he paused. His voice grew weaker. Rogue could feel his cute eyebrows wiggling together under that paper bag.

"Ya're not used to be treated good for what you are and not wyou you look. Ya can feel this place has potential for a stable home, but ya think ya have no place here. Is that it?"

"Yeah. And I think I lied a little. I have found no clues so far that would help us to find Zazelle's location. But somehow, I have the strong feeling that she will find us...",his voice was barely heard by now.

"How can *she* find us?"

"..."

"Are ya all right?"

"I feel...sleepy. Must be the...tranquilizers...they're acting again..."

Rogue could see his eyes closing though the holes on the paper bag as he drifted to sleep, falling over the roof.

"Oh shit!"

She flied to him and grabbed his feet long before he could hit the ground. He didn't even tense at her grab, totally wasted by the drugs.

The paper bag escaped his head and flied away, using the cool midnight air to its benefit. It seemed to wave goodbye to them as it made it's way above the stars, beginning a journey to the clouds above the mountains.

"Time to get to bed, sleepyhead", she whispered as she put him over her shoulder, grabbing his thighs to stabilize him and made her way downstairs.

She stopped for a little, turned her head, and looked at the starry sky. The few clouds up there had a pink-to-reddish colour on their underside. The sky was almost purple.

She imagined what Dave's face would look under that faint light of the night. She couldn't see it because she was hugging his thighs and his head was behind her back.

She felt the urge to put him down and watch his handsome face, as his mutancy had made it in her eyes. But was that feeling created by his mutant gift, or was it something genuine, something real?

Would any of her actions towards him be original, or she would be just another one who bit at his illusionary charm, his irresistible aura? She had better fight the urge back, then.

The paper bag was far away in the sky, travelling on the slight wind that was stroking her cheek.

Rogue turned away and made her way back inside, still carrying the sleeping man.

***************************************************************

"Boss?"

"Yes, Lance?", Zazelle said, as she got off the bed they passionately shared for the last four hours.

"Why didn't you use the mutants that you employed yesterday, and kept having sex with me instead?"

"My dear Lance", she said," those guys are mercenaries. They're paid in money. You were always paid in sex. But since we lost your fellow co-workers, and you're the only one left, I have to overpay you. I still need to get fucked often if I want to be powerful enough."

"Yeah, but you won't have any problem to get them to bed, considering your powers", he answered back.

Zazelle lighted a cigarette. "I decided to stop having sex with people I need to work with. You see, I almost felt grief when Jeremy got buried under the bitch's whipped cream along with the others. Sometimes, even I get sentimental. So, I will have my well-paid mutant mercenaries for the action, and other people as sex-slaves, like you."

"You-you mean, I will no longer work for you?"

"No, Lance. You will just wait here and fuck me every time I want to. Consider it as some kind of...promotion."

"Oh, boss, what an honour!", he happily exclaimed. "But, you know I can't handle the sex you will need. You will need to find others too. With more stamina."

"Oh, I already have someone in mind, baby. One of never-ending stamina. If my calculations are right, soon I will know where to find him...and that's why I hired mutants after all! I need people who can fight too if I wanna get him"

"Where does that guy live and you yet have to find him?"

"Xavier's mansion. He’s one of the X-Men", she smiled, as she wore her totally see-through bathrobe.» All that is left is to locate the mansion."

"And how will you locate it?», Lance asked, his eyebrows taking a questioning form.

"I have already taken care of that...now I'm just expecting my preparations to prove themselves fruitful. You shall see, Lance, you shall see...Very soon, the X-Men will have an unexpected visit."

She grinned and threw her cigarette on the floor, stepping on it with her stiletto-heels, which she wore even at bed.