In Fear of Three Little Words

Thanks for the new reviews. I appreciate constructive comments. The last thing I want to do is make Kurt too "girly." I try very hard to keep characters in character and this issue is probably the most precarious tightrope slash writers tiptoe across. That said, please keep in mind (and I know you are) that Kurt has been through a terrible ordeal and has fallen in love all at the tender age of eighteen. I promise to try to keep Kurt as Kurtish as possible considering the ordeal and the ordeals yet to come. Tears are gonna happen, though. Not to mention Kurt juxtaposed with Logan, he of the overflowing testasterone. Poor Kurt hardly stands a chance in the manly comparisons. Thanks again for the kuddos and comments.


Chapter 33


“Kurt! Pay attention to what you’re suppose to be doing,” Scott yelled. “What if this was real life, not a training session?”

“I did exactly what I was suppose to do,” Kurt countered, his last nerve about to snap with Scott constantly riding him for imagined imperfections. “I can’t help it if Jean’s aim was off.”

“Hey!” Scott said, voice rising. “Don’t you dare blame Jean because you can’t keep your mind on the job.”

“Scott,” Jean interrupted. “Kurt’s right. It was my fault.”

“Please don’t cover for him, Jean.” Scott’s voice softened perceptively. “We all know why Kurt missed that catch. Now what if that had really been a bomb?”

“Then it still would have been my fault,” Jean insisted.

“See, even Jean is willing to admit when she’s at fault,” Kurt stated. He teleported over to where Scott stood, his hands on his hips. “And so am I, but I’m not going to take your browbeating. Not for something I didn’t do.”

“Your mind is not on this training session, Kurt,” Scott said, getting into Kurt’s face. “Your mind is on the fight you and Logan had and Logan storming off last night in one of his famous snits.”

“Stop pickin’ on Kurt, Scott,” Rogue said. “I think he’s been doin’ just fine. You’ve just made up your mind that he’s gonna screw up so everythin’ that goes wrong is somehow his fault.”

“Yeah,” Kitty chimed in. “Lighten up. You’re just being mean to Kurt cause you don’t like him and Logan being together.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Scott, daring him to deny the others’ observations.

“You’re wrong,” Scott said. “You’re all wrong. Stop protecting him before something serious happens.”

“Scott,” Jean said. “Your prejudices are showing. That’s not team work. If you want to be a leader, you have to be fair with everyone. You can’t nitpick someone’s work just because you don’t agree with them on some personal issue. And if you treat some team members differently than others, people will stop following and you’ll stop being a leader.”

Kurt glanced up at the control room. Ororo stood up there, watching them, listening, but not interfering. She’d never said a word regarding his and Logan’s relationship. He now wondered what she thought about it. Did she disapprove? Approve? Not care one way or the other?

Scott looked around at the gathered group. “Is that what you all think?” he finally asked.

Kurt said nothing, waiting to hear the verdict of his team mates for this was about far more than just he and Logan. This was about Scott’s ability to lead.

“Yeah,” Rogue said. “Jean summed it up pretty well.”

“I agree,” Kitty added. “You’re being a hard ass, but only to Kurt.”

Bobby even nodded his agreement. “Yeah. You’re coming down hard on Kurt for no reason at all.”

“Fine,” Scott finally said, gazing at the floor, his jaw line rigid, his mouth a thin line of restraint. Then he looked up. “I guess I owe you an apology, Kurt.”

“Apology accepted. And Scott, as I told Logan, do not treat me like a child...or like some love struck duffus. Do not undermine my credibility or I’ll “pop” you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you there.” Kurt offered a toothy smile and after a moment’s hesitation Scott laughed.

“Yeah. And I’d probably deserve it,” Scott replied. He put out a hand and Kurt took it. “Truce?”

“Truce,” Kurt said with a nod. “But I had hoped we could do better than that.”

“I’m working on it,” Scott said. “Don’t rush me.”

“That seems to be everyone’s philosophy lately,” Kurt replied.

Scott gave him a confused expression.

“Nothing. Never mind.”

“Then let’s go through this again and see if we can all get it right this time.”

Kurt watched Jean give Scott an encouraging pat on the back.

He could have used one of those right then, his confidence waning with Scott’s constant barrages and Logan gone. And he wasn’t suppose to act like his heart hadn’t been ripped out of his chest and stomped on. He was suppose to buck up and carry on and not make mistakes.

Fine. He could do that.

Kitty must have sensed his melancholy. She reached over to him and squeezed his shoulder. He turned and offered her a smile of thanks.

“You’re doing okay. Don’t let Scott get to you.”

“Easier said than done. What’s Jean’s problem anyway? She’s not been controlling her telekinese very well today.”

“Well...let’s just say it’s a girl thing.”

“Oh,” Kurt said in surprise. “That’s more than I wanted to know.”

Kitty laughed and they returned to their positions. The session picked up from the beginning, each doing their part in the preconceived scenario. Again, Jean seemed out of sorts and the “bomb” teetered in her telekinetic grip.

But Kurt anticipated the problem this time and recalculated his “porting” distance on the fly, catching the “bomb” before it hit the ground. He teleported again and handed the device over to Scott with a smug smile of satisfaction.

“Okay. That was better,” Scott said grudgingly. “Jean, why don’t you take a rest.”

“What I’m going to do is take some Midal,” she muttered and left the Danger room.

“Are you gonna tell Kurt what a great job he did makin’ up for Jean’s less than stellar performance?” Rogue asked, coming up beside Kurt and slinging an arm over his shoulder.

Kurt gave her a grateful smile.

“Yeah, good job, Kurt,” Scott said, not sounding all that sincere. “I’m going to check on Jean. Sessions over. We’ll have another tomorrow at the same time.”

“Thanks,” Kurt muttered at Scott’s retreating back.

Kitty came up on the other side of him and the three began walking, exiting the Danger room and heading for the foyer.

“Hey, at least he apologized,” Kitty said, twining her arm with Kurt’s.

“And he did say you did a good job,” Rogue added.

“Only after he was beaten into submission by all of you,” Kurt replied, his melancholy fighting to overwhelm him again.

“You know, Logan will be back,” Rogue said, knowing what was really getting him down.

Kurt nodded, but didn’t trust himself to speak.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll only be gone a few days...maybe a week....” Kitty said.

“Oh, that helps a whole lot,” Rogue said around Kurt. “A week? Why not say a month and see how depressed Kurt can get?”

“Logan won’t be gone a month,” Kitty flung back. “He wouldn’t do that. Why’d he go anyway? Did you guys have a fight?”

Kurt let out a sigh. “No, not really. He...he just needs some time alone. He has that right. I don’t want to smother him.”

“Didn’t look to me like you were smotherin’ him?” Rogue stated

“He must have thought so or he wouldn’t have left,” Kurt replied, his throat tight.

The girls were silent in the face of Kurt’s statement. And he wondered if indeed he had been smothering Logan.