Primal Urges

Part Three

Logan makes his way back to his room, not knowing that he has a shadow. He kicks open the door and lays down on the bed…covering his eyes with his arm. So absorbed in the revelations that have been made to him, he doesn’t hear Storm enter his room until she closes the door. He pops up off the bed and unsheathes his claws, taking a minute to realize who is standing there. Unafraid, she walks over to him and quietly asks, “Are you alright?”

“How in the fuck do ya’ think I am?! Could ya’ have dropped a bigger bomb on me back there?!” he yells and she flinches a bit. Seeing that he’s hollering at the wrong person, he backs off, “Sorry darlin’…I jus’ didn’t expect…”

“I know…I just wanted to make sure that you are okay with all of this.”

He cocks his head to the side and smiles crookedly at her, “Why, darlin’? Why’re ya’ so worried about me?”

Storm wasn’t ready for that direct question and for a moment, doesn’t know how to answer. She should have known he would be curious as to why she was here, especially since they had just started to get to know one another before everything went to hell the last time he was here. Determined to not show her nervousness, she moves to sit next to him…

'Wrong move, girl! You see how you are reacting to him and he hasn’t even THOUGHT to touch you?!'

Clearing her throat of an invisible irritant, Ororo says, “It was a lot to take in and I know that you had a hard time dealing with…everything. I wanted to make sure that you were okay…you’re still my friend, aren’t you?”

Friend? They had gotten closer during that time with the attack on the mansion and all, but he never assumed that they were friends…shit like that doesn’t happen to him.

But, this is not a good time to nitpick, “Of course…thanks for the concern, but I’ll be fine. Jus’ need a lil’ rest now…been a long trip.”

She stands quickly, “Oh, sure…rest up. I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Sure,” Logan says as he stretches back out on the bed. She smiles down at him as he covers his eyes again, turning to walk back to the door. As Storm is opening it, he calls out to her, “Wake me in a couple of hours, will ya’?”

“Sure,” she answers and she walks out. Closing the door softly, Ororo smiles, 'Okay, I survived a face to face encounter in his room...maybe this won’t be so hard after all!'

Ororo makes her way back down the stairs to head to the kitchen, wanting to help with the preparations for dinner. As she enters the kitchen, she sees Jean and Scott standing by the sink…acting as if they are washing dishes, but instead are playing with each other. Jean grabs a dish to wash while Scott reaches around her to grab a towel to help dry them. He places a kiss on the base of her neck, running his tongue up to her ear, making her giggle. Ororo stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching the love play that is going on between her two friends. A painful tweak hits her heart…'why is it so easy for Jean to find love and…'

A soft sob brings Jean’s attention to the silent visitor in the kitchen. “’Ro, I didn’t know you were there!” she stammers, straightening herself and shooting Scott a “you-better-cut-it-out” look. Coughing discreetly, he puts down the towel and turns to face the weather goddess. But, Ororo doesn’t realize that they are looking at her now…her mind is taking her back to a relationship that she thought was the one for her, a love that she believed to be for forever. The mutant that helped bring back the Professor, Jean, and Scott…Forge. The tall, handsome Cheyenne Indian had swept her off her feet…making her feel as if she were the most special thing on the planet. Then, for no particular reason that she can make any sense out of, he left her…even after asking her to marry him. He never said good-bye, just left a note stating that he was making a mistake and not to look for him. It took her the better part of two months to get over him, and even now it comes back to haunt her…

'Which is why it is so shocking that I would have these feelings for someone like Logan, the most independent man in the universe…someone that would have to be dead to even think about asking for help with anything…'

“’Ro?” she hears from a far off distance…all that is in her mind now are those hurtful feelings of trying to make sense of why he left her high and dry…with a ring no less.

“’Ro?!” the voice calls again and it stirs her out of her musings…thankfully. “Oh, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…” Jean smiles at her and waves, “Oh, you didn’t interrupt anything…” and she is promptly smacked across her ass for the thought. She looks at Scott, “Cut it out!”

Ororo smiles at them…it took the better part of the time Logan was away for them to reconnect. Scott had a hard time believing that the Phoenix was destroyed, leaving Jean in a tizzy most of the time, trying to get him to believe in her. It took a lot of dinners and late night walks to get them back on track…and the lovemaking, well…let’s just say that after a certain time at night, never go to that end of the hall! Ororo moves over to the island in the middle of the floor and picks up a knife to cut some of the salad vegetables that have been placed there for the dinner. As she starts to cut the cucumbers, Jean looks her over and smiles sneakily.

“So, how is Logan doing?”

Both Scott and Ororo look up at her and are greeted with a saucy smile. The beautiful African blushes slightly before going back to her work and Scott continues to stare at her. Jean catches his gaze, shrugging before turning her attention back to the woman trying miserably to avoid answering the question. “Well?”

Ororo clears her throat before answering without looking up, “He seems fine…just wanted to rest a bit before coming down to dinner.” Jean tries to get anything from her facial expressions, but Ororo has the uncanny ability to hide her feelings…unless extremely agitated, basically because her powers are controlled by her emotions. Jean can sense that there is something there, something under the surface that Ororo is trying so hard to keep hidden from everyone…and she can almost bet on it all having to pertain to the Wolverine. A smirk forms, but she doesn’t let it be seen…Scott would ask for questions. He still has a problem with Logan…that stupid uncertainty that she really loves only him.

'Well, he needs to get over it….'

Jean loves Logan, but as a dear friend…and Scott will never understand that, and probably won’t until he can convince himself that Logan is just playing with her. It kinda hurts to know that he is still a little unsure of her, but there is still a lot they have to work through…she has only been back for four months. Ororo keeps her attention on the salad that she is trying to create…trying very hard to divert their attention on the dinner that they should be fixing. As much as she has been thinking of Logan, she damn sure didn’t want to expound on feelings that she doesn’t even know how to describe yet. Chopping the carrots now, she thinks about him…dammit! He did look delicious when he came in and trying to keep her eyes off of him so that Rogue couldn’t pick up on her perusals was harder than she thought it would be. His body was always well-toned and muscular…not an extra inch of fat on him. His thighs and legs are well defined in the jeans that he loves to wear so much…and his face; even with the bushy sideburns is chiseled…incredibly handsome. Her stomach starts to tighten as she starts to feel aroused. She twitches, hoping that Scott and Jean haven’t noticed her discomfort. Jean was quick enough to realize why she was so distressed, and again doesn’t need to have that conversation.

“So, are you guys going to help me with dinner or stand there gawking at me?”

“Oh!” says Scott and he quickly heads to the refrigerator to find what was left there to prepare. Jean smiles sneakily and turns back to the dishes…no need to pester her friend tonight, dinner will give her some more information about Storm’s thoughts…

'Jean…let them be. She’s confused enough…so is he. What will happen, will happen without any of our interference…'

'It was just in fun, Professor…you know I don’t mean anything…'

'Understand Jean that there is more going on here than meets the eye…even with them.'

Then, the presence is gone and she feels a little contrite. There is nothing like having the Professor tell you to stop playing around…makes you feel like a kid. She is the only one that allows Xavier clear access to her thoughts, a precaution against the power of the Phoenix coming back. He never intrudes, just monitors occasionally. At any other time, though…a warning has to be sent so that he doesn’t intrude at the wrong times…
She finishes her dishes and turns to help Scott with the steaks that he has taken out. The kids of the house have been fed in the cafeteria, so the teachers are left to fend for themselves. The upstairs dining room is for faculty and off limits to the students, but the rest of the house is pretty much an open door…except for the lower levels. Scott is preparing the steaks when he asks, “How do you want these, grilled or broiled?”
“Grilled sounds good…” says Ororo, putting the last of what she has cut into a pile on the table and moving over to the cabinets to find a bowl to place it all in. Cyclops smiles and wipes his hands on a nearby towel, “Well, let me go out back and turn on the gas grill.”

“Okay…I’ll finish with the steaks and bring them out in a minute,” returns Jean, grabbing the plate that holds them. Ororo purposely avoids meeting Jean’s eyes, knowing that her expressions right now are too telling…'those damn images of Logan are still running through my head. Thank the Goddess that they haven’t been too explicit…those ones are for later, in the privacy of my room.'

Swallowing hard at that thought, she gathers the chopped vegetables and begins to toss them in the bowl that she has pulled out. No need to add the dressing, since everyone has their favorite…she likes light vinaigrette, while Jean likes French. Scott prefers Thousand Island while Logan…well hell, she doesn’t know what Logan prefers. He usually doesn’t eat the salads that are made…he’s a meat and potatoes man, which isn’t at all surprising. Smiling again, she opens a drawer to get a pair of salad tongs to clean off quickly and place into the bowl…after finishing that, she takes the bowl out into the dining area to set up the table. She places the bowl in the middle of the table and walks over to the highboy to get out the silverware when she senses that she isn’t alone…

Turning slowly, her throat closes when she spies Logan standing in the doorway, holding a cigar in his hand. Making sure that she doesn’t come across as scared, but knowing that it would be impossible to hide, she smiles tremulously, “I see you finished your nap…I thought you wanted me to wake you when dinner was done…”

“Had a rough time sleepin’…figured I might as well come down here an’ help out,” he grumbles. Somehow, that deep tone of voice always sends tremors through her and undoubtedly, he will sense the change in her demeanor… and her scent. Groaning, she knows it will have changed since now those feelings that she has been trying to hide while down here are rushing back with a vengeance. Logan quirks an eyebrow, but says nothing as he moves into the dining room…he can smell her desire, not exactly knowing why he does. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end when he swears he can hear her moan…'how fuckin’ erotic is that?'

'Dammit, Logan…she ain’t in your ballpark, bub! And you sure as hell don’t deserve anyone like her anyway…you’ve done too much shit!'

A scowl covers his face and Ororo has to wonder what it’s for. She got through being alone in his room well enough but why is it now so much more difficult to keep it together? She quickly gathers all the silverware needed and starts at the opposite end of the table, setting each place with meticulous care. Logan stands there, watching her…almost as if he were stalking prey. At first the intense stares unnerve her, but after setting the third place…the stare starts to actually comfort her, but she is sure not going to tell him that. The awkward silence has her wishing she had something to say to him…anything…

'Logan…you are the hottest man alive and I want you to take me…in any position you want!'

Choking suddenly, she grabs her throat as she coughs roughly…her thoughts startling her. Logan moves over to her and gently pats her on the back, “You okay?”

The large, warm hand clapping her on the middle of her back is doing more than just clearing her blocked passageway…the heat from his body is affecting her more than she ever hoped and now she wishes more than anything that he would move away. Ororo has no idea what her feelings really are and it’s too soon after the fiasco with Forge. He doesn’t need her baggage…he has enough of his own to deal with to have to deal with her mess! Finally clearing her throat, she nods her head, “Thanks…I’m okay now…something went down the wrong pipe.”
He nods and walks over to the table to pick up the rest of the silverware. “Look, ya’ go an’ get some water…I’ll finish here.”

Shocked, she merely nods and heads back into the kitchen. She stops at the doorway to make sure that Jean and Scott are still outside…the last thing that she needs right now is some ribbing from them about why she’s in here and Logan’s in the dining room. She walks over to the sink and fills a glass full of water, drinking it quickly. Again, she doesn’t notice the figure standing in the doorway…standing there taking her in. He recalls how he has played with Jean relentlessly over the time he was here before…hell, he had been in love with her. But when it was left up to him to destroy the one thing he loved the most…it destroyed a part of him as well. Seeing her alive again…is almost like a dream come true, but those strong feelings he had before were gone. He doesn’t know this Jean…doesn’t know what to think. Logan’s focus turns back to the silver haired woman at the sink…'and the one person that hasn’t changed in all of this is the woman drowning herself with tap water.' He observes how her hair flows like silk down her back and probably feels the same. In certain light, it appears silver and the sudden urge to tangle his fingers in the silky mass rushes through him. She is tall, but still only comes to his shoulders…her body perfectly shaped in all the right places. Her throat is bared to him and another urge takes him over, but this one he fights back with a determination born of years of mental struggle. The beast within growls; wanting to taste that cocoa colored skin…wanting to…

'Damn Logan…stop this! Outta yer league, pal!'

Not a single emotion shows on his face and he looks to the floor so that they don’t start. He has been given a lot of stuff to deal with tonight and until he can figure things out, he needs to keep his distance…from most people around here.

Especially Storm…

“Uh…are you okay?” he asks, hoping that he doesn’t startle her again. She turns, placing the glass in the sink and smiling at him. “I’m fine now, Logan…thanks for asking. I better see what else I can do to get dinner on the table.” The weather goddess walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out some fresh vegetables. “I think these will go great with the steaks…you think they will be better steamed or grilled?”

He quirks a brow, “I prefer steamed.”

“She nods, “Me too…so, steamed it is.” She moves over to the sink once more to start washing the food and Logan has another urge that totally takes him by surprise.

“Need any more help?” he asks.

And as an even bigger shock, “Sure, you can help me wash these,” she answers. Before she can even think of what the heck she just did, Logan moves over to her and takes up a stalk of broccoli to break off smaller ones for the steamer. Ororo gives him some more room since he seems to be so massive, but the closeness to him is not disturbing now…rather quite comfortable and relaxing, if you can believe that. As the water runs, they both trim and clean the food, occasionally rubbing against one another and letting their fingers touch under the cool running water. Something about all of this feels right to the both of them, but they stay concentrated on the task at hand. All too soon, they are finished and she loads the basket to place in the machine. He stands there, cleaning up the sink of discarded leaves and florets while she fills the steamer with the appropriate amount of water. Logan glances over at her and can’t help but imaging another setting…'a home with them preparing some kind of meal, but suddenly they get distracted. He moves over to her and gets her to stop what she’s doing…her luminous blue eyes shining into his as his head dips to…'

'Didn’t we already go through this?! Cut it out, you dumb shit!'

This annoying ass voice of his is really beginning to piss him off!

He shakes his head a bit to clear his thoughts as he wipes his hands on a towel and stares at her again. Never had any woman had his mind in turmoil as much as this one and he hasn’t done anything with her yet! His expression softens, if God was kind enough to even consider keeping this woman in his life, he wouldn’t be able to treat her as he treated most…like a means to an end. He has had many women over the years, most attracted to the animalistic qualities about him, but he has fallen in love a few times…one being Mariko, the last being Jean, and somewhere in there he keeps remembering a woman named Kayla, Kayla Silverfox…

Much of his life is still a mystery, so there could have been more…but at this point giving his heart to anyone is not a priority. Too much has happened for him to want to try that again…never mind that he still has to deal with whatever is left of what he feels for Jean. A deep scowl crosses his lips…he never liked Scott much, but if Jean loved him, he had to give the guy a shot. The scowl changes to a wicked grin; it does give him a perverse pleasure to see him get all flustered from the flirting that he does with Jean on many occasions. Ororo looks over at him and sees the amused smile flirting about his lips. She can’t help it…she smiles as well. He always looks so handsome when he smiles…it’s something that he doesn’t do very often, so it is a rare treat to see it.

“What is so funny?” she asks softly and it pulls him out of his musings. A little startled, he smiles again and shakes his head, “Nuthin’…just thinkin’…”

“Must have been pretty nice…”

“Yeah, not too bad.”

The conversation stalls again and they stand there, staring at each other. The tension is broken when they hear Scott and Jean coming back inside…Ororo trying to look like she was doing some kind of busy work, while Logan just leans against the wall…looking directly in the direction of the pair coming in. The first through the door is Jean and she gasps a little at seeing Logan staring so intently in her direction. “Logan! I didn’t expect to see you until later…”

In true Logan fashion, he waits until he sees Scott behind her before he says, “Better keep that to ya’ self, gorgeous…don’t want the ol’ ball and chain to know about us!” Ororo had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing at the outraged look on Scott’s face. Jean could only blush, but Ororo noticed a peak of interest at the thought…and a streak of jealousy makes its way into her heart. No one had ever played with her like that…guess that’s why it was so easy for her to fall for Forge…

'Now, we weren’t supposed to think about him…'

'But, if I don’t deal with it now…when? How am I supposed know what I feel for Logan if I can’t get over Forge?' This sobers her happy mood dramatically and she walks over to the island to grab a sauce pan from over head. Seeing Scott completely flustered, she offers some comfort, “Now, Scott…you know he’s kidding.”
Scott stares daggers at Logan, but a soft touch from Jean calms him down. “Come on, you know he loves to get under your skin…”

“I’d rather get into yours…” murmurs Logan silkily and her blush deepens. Scott looks as if he’s about to erupt when Logan waves his hand, “You are way too easy, bub. Jean knows I’m jokin’…why don’t you?”

Silence.

For once, the know-it-all Cyclops has nothing to say to that. Blame it on male testosterone or the basic male instinct to protect the ones you love, but Logan has always had the ability to pull the animal out of Scott and he sure as hell can’t handle it. Taking a deep breath, the young man decides to change the subject. “’Ro, you need any help over there? The steaks are almost done.”

“No, thank you…Logan has been kind enough to help me already.”

The visored red eyes pull back the man leaning casually against the wall, “Logan…helped? Well, damn!”
His sneer appears, “Watch it, One-Eye…” Jean notices the tension once again and puts her hands up, “To your corner, boys. This is to be a nice dinner and I won’t let a battle of who-has-the-bigger-balls destroy it.”
Again, Wolverine can’t help himself, “Anyway, we all know who would win…wouldn’t we?” Ororo relents and bursts out laughing, Logan looks at her and a broad grin crosses his face. Scott takes the time she is taking to crack up to calm down and accept this for what it is…a roasting session about him. Jean smiles and places a hand on his shoulder while both Ororo and Logan are almost balled over laughing. “Okay, okay…I get it, all joking…ha ha ha.”

The laughing pair finally calm down, having to take deep breaths to regain some kind of composure. Clutching her stomach, Ororo bends over and takes a deep gulping breath, still chuckling a little. Logan slows down to an occasional chuckle, still eyeballing Scott. The younger X-Man ignores him and moves over to the sink to wash his hands. Jean’s eyes follow him, but catch Logan looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She can still see the love in his eyes, but knows that he doesn’t know how to pursue anything…she was dead a few months ago, he had killed her. Now, she standing in his face and he is supposed to understand all of this?

'Even I can’t expect that of him…'

She walks past Scott, telling him, “I’m going to get the others down here. Dinner will be done soon.” She moves past Logan and he can’t help but take in that scent again…roses. He didn’t think he would ever see or smell her again. As she brushes past him, his eyes follow her out the kitchen…but he looks at the pair at the sink and decides to follow Jean out. The redhead walks quickly into the foyer area and is about to head to Xavier’s office, when she hears someone behind her. Thinking it’s Scott, she turns around and places a huge smile on her face, only to let it fall when she sees who it is. This was something that she really was dreading, but knew was coming.

“Logan, I didn’t know it was you…”

He walks slowly toward her…his eyes unreadable. A flutter in her gut starts…the same flutter she used to get around him, imaging his powerful arms around her…

'No, I can’t do this again…' She waits for him to speak, keeping her face as neutral as possible. He moves within a few inches of her, taking in her scent once again. “How am I supposed to take this, Jean? I…I loved ya’, an’ I hadta’ kill ya’. It destroyed me ya’ know…made me feel like I was the beast everyone thinks I am. Now yer back an’ all in love with Cyke…how am I supposed ta’ take this?!” His voice cracks slightly as the tone rises. She can see the confusion and pain rushing through his eyes and she wants to hold him…let him know that it’s okay, that no one blames him and that he will always be her dearest friend. But, that is not what he wants to hear, so she stays silent.

“Nuthin’ ta’ say?! Dammit, Jean!”

“Keep it down, no need to get loud…”

His eyes blaze fire, “Is that all ya’ can say?!” He grabs her by the arms and forces her to look at him. Her eyes read the turmoil in his gaze, but know she can do nothing about it. “Even before all this…I loved Scott, still do. I knew you were the only one that could do save me…save everyone, only you had the strength. I knew that you could take it, but I should have never put that on you and I’m sorry for that. I was asking a lot and I never even let the words pass my lips. I…counted on the fact that you loved me enough to destroy the Phoenix.”

He drops his grip and steps back, not entirely too stunned at what she was saying. “Counted on me lovin’ ya’, huh?” He grips her once again, this time it is a lot more painful than the last time. “Did ya’ count on me doing this?” and he presses a hard kiss on her soft lips. The kiss is punishing…not at all meant to express any other emotion other than anger and frustration. His lips grind against hers, his tongue forcing its way into her hesitant mouth. She doesn’t cling, but she doesn’t pull away either…the sheer magnetism of this man overwhelming her. He breaks away and stares into her eyes…at any other time; he would have tried to take it further…wanting her to enjoy it as much as he is, but now…

He has come to a discovery…he loved her, past tense. The feelings aren’t there anymore…somehow he feels as if he was betrayed and that isn’t a feeling that is easily forgotten. She looks at him briefly, then looks to the floor, “I am truly sorry, Logan…”

“Sure ya’ are.” Logan returns as he wheels around and stomps back into the kitchen. Jean stand there for a few more minutes, tears forming in her eyes. In one easy stroke she has damaged a friendship that, until that moment, meant more to her than she first thought. The redhead covers her eyes with her hand; completely forgetting about the reason she had for being in the hall. As she stands there, Professor Xavier comes out of his office and sees her crying softly while leaning against the wall.

“Jean, are you okay?” he asks as his chair whirs softly next to her. Jean looks at him and the gist of her upset hits him like a hammer…”Logan…”

“I hurt him and I didn’t mean to. He’s so angry and confused…all I can say is sorry. I…I used him, Professor and I told him that.”

Xavier nods and takes her hand. “Logan has a lot of things that he still has to deal with. It is unfortunate that we had to add this to them, but it couldn’t be helped. It was better for him to know this now than wait to spring it on him later…the whole situation would have been made a whole lot worse.” Jean shakes her head, “I know that, but…”

“Logan is confused right now, but he will be fine. He has more help than we all know…”

Jean’s eyebrows perk up, “What do you mean by that?”

Xavier smiles, “Never you mind…our friend, the Wolverine, shall come out of this much better than he was going in…and may even be glad for it.” He pulls her by the hand and leads her back to the dining room. “But now, I’m starved and I smell steaks…”

Jean finally smiles, “Go ahead and take your seat…I seem to remember that I was going to gather the others.” She kisses him on the top of his head, “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Jean…now go, I’m hungry,” he says with a huge smile. She runs out the room and up the stairs to the rooms of Rogue, Bobby, Colossus, and Kitty. Since being appointed the ambassador of mutant kind by the President, Dr. McCoy stays in Washington most of the time and these kids are officially X-Men. She knocks quickly on each door, calling out, “Dinner time!”

All the doors seem to open simultaneously and four heads pop out. “Dinner!” they all say in unison and they all rush out, pushing past Jean to head down the stairs.

“Kids…” she murmurs, chuckling while she follows them back down the steps.