Memory Lane

Title: Blurring the Line
Rating: R, language
Disclaimer: Again, not mine. Think we established that. Any feedback will be graced with a happy dance from my elephant, personalized just for you. This one in particular is for Catchfire in light of the lengthy review left for me. How did you know where I was going with this?


It takes me a few minutes to realize I'm not in my room. Then, only a little longer for the feel of soft cotton moving underneath my cheek to register. I'm not in my bed and I'm sleeping practically on top of someone. Someone who happens to be a man, a man who smells very much like the Professor. That last piece of information sends me practically flying off the bed. Unfortunately I happen to be tangled up in the sheets and they serve to trip me up. I land with a graceful crash onto the hardwood floor. There's a motion from the bed accompanied by a silken, groggy voice.

"Logan? What happened?"

Oh good, my libido just picked the perfect time to get a jump start. That's ok, if he notices I can just blame it on my bladder. I cracked my head when I landed and I sit up rubbing my head. I glance back at the spot where I hit and notice a good sized dent in the floor. Great, another thing I gotta apologize for.

"Logan?"

Oh right, Xavier. I scramble to my feet, still holding my head. Xavier's got a concerned look on his face so I decide to grace him with one of my lopsided grins. It seems to work as the worry leaves his eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, ya know I got a hard head. Think the floor got it worse than me, sorry about that."

He laughs. I'm starting to like that sound. "It quite alright Logan. I doubt it felt anything."

Did the Professor just make a joke? A knock at the door catches both our attentions and I feel a sudden urge to dive underneath the bed. It opens and Scott walks inside.

"Morning Professor, you...-"

The boy scout stops dead the instant he sets eyes on me standing next to Xavier's bed, shirtless to boot. He looks back and forth between me and the Professor and I can practically hear the wheels turning in his head. Xavier remains unphased and greets him.

"Good morning Scott. To what do I owe this visit?"

I snatch my shirt from the ground and pull it on. Cyclops finally comes out of his shock and addresses the Professor.

"There are some officials from Washington here to see you sir."

Xavier gets a perplexed look on his face. This immediately sets me on edge and I ask him a question with my eyes. He catches it just like I knew he would and gives me a smile. This does little to put me at ease but I let it go, for now.

"Logan, would you help me?"

I move without further thought and help him into his chair. This gets a strange look from Cyke and I flash him a glare. The Professor clears his throat as a means to attract our attentions and it works.

"I would appreciate it if the two of you kept your animosity at a respectful level in my presence. Especially since you will both be accompanying me to this meeting."

Well, saying that Scout and I were shocked probably would have been a fat-ass understatement. He actually wants us in the same room together, acting civil? What the hell is he thinking? I chance a look in Scott's direction and I can tell by his posture that he is seething. I can't help but laugh a little and that just pushes all the right buttons. I can almost hear the guy's blood boiling as he stomps out of the room.

After he leaves I start laughing so hard I double over.

"Logan..."

I do my best to stifle my laughter, which is hard considering I have a good build-up going. I finally get my outburst under control just in time to see Xavier pulling off his pajama top. Next thing I know, I'm choking on my own damn air. The man is over in a flash, pounding on my back to help me get my breathing corrected before I pass out. Which might just happen anyway in light of the fact that this man's half naked and right next to me.

After I get my fit taken care of I wave him off. I make a point not to look over at him. He backs off and resumes his task of getting out of his PJs and dressed for the day. I creep over to the door and slip out into the safety of the hallway where I let out a whoosh of air. My jeans feel so tight I swear they're about ready to rip. I have never had to deal with being aroused for this long.
The sounds of youngsters scampering through the halls reminds me that I'm standing in the open with a tell-tale bulge in the front of my pants. This sends me scurrying for some privacy in my room.

After a quick shower and a good jerk off I get dressed and make my way to his office. As I get near I can hear voices. One belongs to Scott and the others I dont recognize, must be the big wigs. I dont hear Xavier so I guess he hasn't made it this far yet. Well, considering my love for all things government I suppose it would be best for me to just wait outside until Xavier shows.
I don't have to wait long before the familiar whir of an electrical chair has me turning my head to watch the Professor's approach. As usual he's all spiffed out in a suit which is a bit of a let down. Just once I'd like to see him in normal clothes. I take it the man is just too decadent for that. Xavier sees me leaning against the wall outside his office and smiles at me.

"Afraid to go inside Logan?"

"Yeah, afraid I might do something ta get myself in trouble with ya."

This gets me a laugh which I feel pretty damn proud of.

"Shall we?"

I nod and open the door, giving the signal to go ahead. He enters wordlessly and I follow close behind.

"What's up ladies?"
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"Charles you know we are sympathetic to your cause but unfortunately we do not speak for everyone."

I sigh and roll my head back as I make another attempt to count the lines in the wooden beams overhead. This thing has been going on for the better part of an hour and I'm bored outta my gourd. So far all these high rise pricks have been doing is giving Xavier the goddamn run around. I right my head and throw a look over at the man. He gives me what I consider to be a watery smile at best. Exhaustion and frustration are rolling off the guy in waves and it's working at making me irritated. The Professor hasn't had to worry about me and Scott getting into it, I'm more ready to tear into these assholes.

"It is our belief that you could be best served by waiting for the powers that be to cool their heels a bit. Before you go smashing in doors on a big crusade."

The dick with the nose like a brass door ring is doing the talking and I personally think he's making a damn fine effort to piss someone off. With this last little snide remark, he just succeeded.

"Good ta know ya think this is such a big fuckin' joke."

"Logan..."

"I said no such thing."

"Ya ain't gotta say it ta be thinkin' it."

"So Charles this is the sort of case you want to bring in front of the senate? A foul-mouthed beast like this?"

I'm upright and moving in his direction before his sentence is even finished. A firm hand shoots in front of me to stop my movement. I look down and notice Xavier rolling forward with a dangerous look on is face. It's enough to make me back up and let him play this out.

"I appreciate your concerns gentlemen but I'm afraid you have quite overstayed your welcome here. Animosity towards any person living in my house will not be tolerated. I trust you can find your way back to the front door. Good day."

A grin splits my face as I watch the men huff and mumble on their way out the door. I give a small chuckle and turn to Xavier. My humor dies the instant I get a gander at the gaze he's giving me. I don't think I've ever seen a sadder look in his eyes. I feel the breath get knocked right out of me and a deep feeling of remorse clings to my chest. He breaks the eye contact and reverses back to his desk.

"Would the two of you excuse me? I have quite a work load that requires my undivided attention."

I want to argue, to apologize, to say something but he's made it clear that any further discussion won't be considered. Cyke just nods and makes his way toward the door. He turns back to me as I stand frozen in place.

"I think that's our cue runt."

The conflicting emotions rolling through me tears me up something bad. So I go with the one I can handle, I get pissed. I growl at Xavier and spin on my heels, blowing past Cyclops on my way out the door. The guy looks indignant but I just aint in the mood to give a rat's ass right now. He spits an 'excuse you' in my direction and I flip him off. I need to break something.
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I figure I've been in the danger room for the past five hours. Five hours and my mood hasn't changed one damn bit. No matter how many bots I take down it won't blot that look from my mind. Which would probably explain why I still feel like a complete heel. I slice my way through another barrage of animatronic enemies when the images begin to flicker. I swipe right through one and the lack of resistance sends me sprawling on my ass.
The overhead lights flare on and blind me for a second. It's at this time that I become aware of the fact that I'm no longer alone. An unfortunately familiar scent reaches my hyper senses and my shoulders slump.

"Ya got a reason fer interruptin' my personal reflection hour Chuck?"

Thankfully by now, the lights have dimmed back to a tolerable level and I can see the man a little more clearly. However, I try to keep my eyes averted in an attempt to avoid looking right at him. Another look like the one in his study and I got a feeling I'm gonna live out my days wallowing in a deep depression.

"I thought we could discuss what happened earlier in my office."

I hear the heavy knock of the automated bolts sliding into place and am instantly hit with the feeling of being trapped. This is not a state I'm particularily fond of and my defensive nature is in the red. I try to keep myself from flying off the handle and maintain a level head.

"Alright, I really dont think there's a whole lot ta talk...-"

"Why would you undermine me like that Logan?"

Ok, I sure as hell didn't see that coming. My anxiety is rapidly replaced with anger and I start snapping.

"What'r ya talkin' 'bout? All I did was try ta get that shit-head off yer case!"

"You made it seems as though I was incapable of controlling the people in my care."

"Excuse me? Since when the hell am I in yer care? I don't do control ya know that!"

"I thought you could at least maintain a level of professionalism. For my sake."

That look is back in his eyes and I feel all the winds leave my sails. I sigh and drop my gaze to the floor. There is a long stretch with neither of us speaking and then, Xavier makes the move to leave. He's halfway to the door when I finally mutter.

"I jus' wanted ta protect ya."

There's a stall in his exit but he doesn't turn around. He remains facing forward as he answers me.

"I appreciate that." Then he's gone.

After he leaves I slowly sink to a crouch and cover my face with my hand. That went about as well as an unanesthetized castration, felt about as good too. Crap Logan, ya done fucked up again. Xavier knows I don't control easy but those men didn't. The Professor trusts me enough to ask me to sit in on an important meeting and what do I do? These guys could stomp all over him because of the shit I pulled. He could lose his arguement with these people.
No doubt about it, I gotta come up with one massive apology. Not just a song and dance but something that will show him I really... Suddenly, an idea hits and I spring to my feet. Faster than I would have thought, I'm running out into the hall on my way to find Jean.
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"You want me to help you what?"

"Come on Red, I aint really acquainted with how ta go about this."

"Why don't you just go to a store?"

"Ya can't find this at any ol' store, please. I'm this close ta gettin' on my knees and beggin'."

"Well, maybe I might just let you."

I growl at Jean and she laughs. "You offered."

"Jeannie..."

She sighs and finally, relents. "Fine, what is it you're trying to get?"

If I was a dame I'd be jumping up and down and squealing. Since I'm the Wolverine, I dont. I grab Jean by the arm and pull her towards the library.
==================

"Now, you enter your card number and place a bid."

"How much?"

"It depends, sometimes you have to keep bidding. Why are you so hell-bent on getting this again?"

"That's none o' yer business." I reply with a growl.

Jean shrugs her shoulders. "Whatever. Alright, now we wait and see if someone goes higher."
===================

Six hours, fourty three minutes and a few thousand dollars later...

"Yes! I got it!"

Jean jerks awake next to me. I splash of drool hits my arm and I absently wipe at it.

"Hey," I smack her on the arm to get her attention. She squeaks in pain and rubs at the spot. "What do I do now?"

"You give them the shipping information. You can express it and it'll be here in two to three days. How much did you....OH MY GOD!"

I wince. "Ya mind? Sensitive ears woman."

"That much just for..."

"Hey, I know fer a fact ya blow roughly that on shoes. Don't judge me girlie."

That gets her and she slumps back in her chair with a scoff. I just grin and turn back to the monitor.
==================

It's already two days later and I've never been more on the edge. I haven't slept but who cares. Jean's been giving me looks like I lost my mind but I just ignore her. Scott's still nipping at my heels and I snap right back. Everything in the house has got my hair standing on end and the kid's have learned to give me space. I make it a point to avoid Xavier. In my current state I'd wind up driving him even further away with no hope of bringing him back.
The doorbell chimes and I leap up from my seat in the kitchen and tear towards the door. I yank the door open and catch the mail carrier totally off guard. He jumps back with a loud curse and I'm sure that's on account of the crazed look on my face I know is on my face. There's a small package in his hand which I promptly snatch away and barely take the time to scribble down my signature on his little pad. The door is slammed in his face and I bolt up the stairs with my prize.

Now, I'm sitting cross-legged on my bed staring down at a brown paper parcel like it's some alien creature preparing to bite me. My hands are sweating as I try to think of the best way to go about this. In the end I just decide on the direct route and scramble off my bed.
==================

I sit quietly in the darkened room, waiting for him to show. I probably could have just gone to his office but it just seemed wrong. Oh, and sitting in his room with all the lights off is so much better. Too late to rethink this though. So, I wait.

The click of a lock startles me and causes me to thump my head on the wall behind me. When did I fall asleep? The door opens and Xavier enters.

"What in the world?..."

The lights go on and I throw up my hand to keep from being blinded.

"Logan?"

The lights are dimmed and I breath a sigh of relief. With a grumbled "thanks" I struggle to my feet. Xavier moves closer with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Might I ask what you are doing in my room?"

Kay, this isn't going the way I had planned it in my head but I guess I should get it over with. With the surprise held behind my back I wipe my other hand on my jeans. I stutter as I try to explain myself.

"Look, about the past few...I was...I'm sorry. I know it wasn't right ta do what I did and if I could....I never meant ta...-"

Christ this is a lot harder than I thought now that I'm here facing him. A confused look is his only reply so I drive right ahead.

"I'm trying ta say I apologize fer my behavior. I shouldn'ta ya know...ok, I aint no good with this shit so, I wanted ta give ya this."

I thrust the bundle at him and he takes it after a second. He holds it in front of him, not really sure what to make of it. My stomach is wound into a grouping of knots as I wait for Xavier to open it. With slow movements, he unties the bow and lifts the lid. He peels back the frail paper to expose a gray cloth box with bone and leather clasps. He undoes the bindings and cracks it open. A look of surprise settles on his face and he pulls back with a gasp.
His eyes flicker up at me before he reaches down to run his hands over the gilded signature of Salvador Dali. He gingerly folds back the brown cloth and blank face page to reveal a colorful etching along with the opposing title page that reads; "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." My heart is beating an angry rhythm against my chest as I wait to hear his verdict.
After a few agonizing moments Xavier closes the box and finally looks back at me. I'm shocked to see tears in his eyes and for some reason this causes me to take a step back. A smile brightens his face and I let out a burst of air I wasn't aware I was holding.

"That mean ya like it?" I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. I can't remember ever feeling this nervous.

I've been about two seconds from throwing up the entire time and by now my hands are shaking from exhaustion. I'm torn between laughing my ass off and crying like a little girl. I'm doubled over and gasping for air so bad the Professor is probably getting ready to call Henry. I finally get myself under control and straighten up. Thankfully, he's still smiling and has moved over right next to me. He places a hand on my forearm and I nearly collapse. His eyes are sparkling as he looks up at me.

"You know, I would have been happy with just an apology."

I chuckle nervously and run my tongue over the back of my teeth. The sudden movement of my arm has me directing my attention back to the man. He lifts my hand to his lips and brushes a small kiss on the knuckles. All of my motor functions grind to a painful halt.

"Thank you Logan." He whispers against my fingers.

And it's right about here that I suddenly black out.

TBC...

AN: The book being referred to is an actual work by Lewis Carroll circa 1969 signed and illustrated by Salvador Dali. The title recently sold on the internet with a winning bid of over three thousand dollars.