Lost in the Dark

"There's been a mistake."

"Vic, honey - "

"He isn't dead! Charlie's mistaken."

She sighed and stepped toward me, placing a hand on my arm. "He's not wrong this time," she whispered. "Mort's dead."

I wanted to explode. I wanted to scream. I wanted something to pound to a bloody pulp. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't possible. Mort was gone. I shook Raven's hand off, turning away from her. I had to stay strong. I couldn't let her see me crying. I didn't want to give her the burden of b str strong for me. It was something I had to do on my own. I probably stood there for a few minutes, staring down at my boots, before turning back to look at her. It felt more like hours, though.

"Do...do we know where his body is?" It felt so awkward, acknowledging that he was dead, that his body was lifeless.

She shrugged. "It's probably still in the harbor," she said. "Near Liberty Island."

I sighed. "We have to get him," I said. She started to protest, but I cut her off. "I'm not letting him stay down there. He wouldn't want it."

What would he want? I thought about all the times we'd lain awake, curled up in each other's arms, talking. It occured to me that we'd never mentioned death. We talked about things we loved, things we hated, things we wanted to change, our future together. Our future had never included death. We would merely stay together, maybe go up to Canada and get married. We'd never talked about death or dying, whether we wanted to be buried near each other, where we wanted to be buried, if we wanted to be buried. I had to make this decision for him. I looked away, focusing on the wall, trying to recall the places he loved.

"You have to see England, love," he said, snuggling closer to me. "It's beautiful."

"Doesn't it rain all the time?" I asked. I was never one for rain.

"Yeah. That's why I like it. You'd like it,." ."

"Really?" I stroked his dark green hair. It never failed to amuse me that his hair was naturally a deep forest green color. I liked it.

"I think so. Someday we'll go."

"You mean to London?"

"Oh no, not London. Bloody tourist trap. Manchester..."

"What about York?" He'd only mentioned York one or two times. That was where he was born and raised, where Erik and Raven had found him. He was always quiet about it, inventing one excuse or another to not talk about it.

He paused, taking hold of my hand. "No," he said quietly. "Too many bad memories there." He glanced back at me, rolling over to face me. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry. I - "

"Not your fault, love," he said, kissing my cheek. "Cats are naturally curious." He smiled, showing off an adorable mouth full of crooked teeth.

"Victor?" She brought me out of my thoughts.

"He probably wants to be buried in England," I said, spitting the words out quickly. I shuddered, realizing that I'd used the present tense by accident.

She nodded. "We'll need Erik for that," she said. "I'm getting him out of prison tomorrow night."

"You need my help?"

"No," she said, turning to leave. "Find the body."

I watched her go, waiting till she vanished completely from sight before letting the tears flow.