The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER CHAPTER TWENTY SIX (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply

A/N Goddess Foxfeather, Queen of Mad Plotbunnies, seriously-cookies for the help with the language. :) InterNutter, TC and Maxwell Pink are wonderful fluffybunnies for archiving. (You can't see me but I'm fairly jittering with thanks!) Readers/Reviewers: I have it on good authority that the Killer Kitties (tm) are planning something hideous, neigh, heinous! The ART PROJECT OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! There's missing glitter pens and blood trails, if that tells you anything...



It was barely eight o'clock when the doorbell rang, startling Jean and Kitty from their mutual carton of ice cream. They stared at each other, then in the direction of the front door, as the bell rang again. Jean made a noise of disturbed interest and padded towards the door, followed by Kitty wielding the ice cream and a spoon. Remy and Scott appeared at the top of the stairs and Kurt ported in from, from the looks of things, the shower, his hair damp and pajamas bottoms clinging wetly to his legs. "Who's that?" he asked, blushing under his fur, having belatedly realized his state of undressed. It was so rare that someone ever came to the door, especially this time of the evening, that he had not given thought to appearing presentable for company.
Kitty, appreciating the view a bit more than was publicly appropriate, said, "How're we supposed to know? I don't think any of us can see through doors..."
Jean snorted as the bell rung a third time. "Only one way to find out." The group pressed behind her, peering over her shoulders as she opened the door to reveal a yawning, barely pubescent delivery boy holding a large flower arrangement consisting mainly of pink and red roses. "Um..."
"Kurt Wagner?" the delivery boy asked, putting the emphasis on the last syllable of Kurt's surname in a way that made the blue mutant cringe.
Kurt ducked down and shoved Kitty forward, conscious of his lack of holo protection. "Um, he's, like...out. Want one of us to sign for those?"
"Sure, whatever...Just sign so I can go home."
Jean took the clipboard as Kitty took the flowers. "Just for that, no tip," the red head said, scribbling her name on the delivery sheet.
"Oh, my breaking heart..." The delivery boy took the board back and flipped a lazy salute. "Happy friggin' Valentine's Day. Or something."
"Well," Kitty said when the door was closed. "He was a prick." She sniffed deeply of the bouquet, an arrangement verging on the monstrous, spilling over the sides of the massive glass vase. "They smell nice..."
Kurt straightened from where he had ducked behind Jean and looked in befuddlement at the flowers. "Katzchen, did you..."
"No...like, who would send a guy flowers?" She shook her head and passed the flowers off to Kurt only to start plundering through them to look for the card.
Remy raised one brow and smirked. "Look like Kurt got hisself a Valentine, eh, Scott?"
Scott made a noise of amusement. "C'mon, Kitty...fess up...you know you sent these." He sniffed deeply of the flowers, ignoring Jean's pleading glances, and elbowed Kurt. "Pink's your color, man."
Kitty sighed. "I swear, I didn't send these. Maybe your mom or sisters?" she asked hopefully, a tiny worm of nervous tension working it's way from her stomach to her lungs.
Kurt frowned. "We don't really 'do' Valentine's Day at home, so I don't think it's them. Ah! The card!" He shifted the vase to Scott, who promptly handed it to Remy. It became a game of careful hot potato until it reached Jean, who set it on the floor with a scowl. "Let me see...I can barely read this."
Kitty snatched the small card from his fingers. "It says, 'Kurt, I know you hardly think of me at all, but I think of you all the time. I can barely hope that you would ever see me as I see you, so until that day, I remain...your secret admirer.' Geezum crow." Kitty flipped the card over in her fingers, the scrawled writing burning her eyes. _Doesn't sound like Amanda...she wouldn't make a secret of it...unless she was trying to pique his interest... _ She realized that Kurt was talking to her then and several pairs of eyes were fixed on her flushed face. "Huh?"
Kurt frowned a little and took the card from between her fingers, folding it over and over into progressively smaller squares until he could not any more. "It's a joke, I'm sure. Probably one of these guys being stupid," he said, sparing a glare for Remy and Scott and the absent Todd.
Jean rolled her eyes. "And where would they have gotten the money? An arrangement like this, funereal as it is, would cost at least seventy-five dollars..." Though, she noted mentally, it was probably closer to one hundred.
Scott nudged Kurt again. "Hey, man, looks like you were right...chicks really do dig the fuzzy dude." He and Remy burst into gales of laughter, Scott slapping Kurt on the back and saying, "I've got a report to finish. See you in the morning, man. Night, Remy, night Kit." It did not go unnoticed that he neglected Jean.
Remy grinned and plucked a pink blossom from the arrangement and stuck it behind his ear. "Now mebbe I be pretty 'nough ta get me a secret 'mirer, eh?" Kurt's growl followed the Cajun up the stairs.
Kurt looked helplessly from Kitty to Jean and back again. "I honestly have no idea..."
"I know, sweetie," Kitty said, surprising herself. Kurt's bewilderment was so genuine that her fears of Amanda somehow trying to win him were reduced to nothing more than a niggling annoyance. "Let's go put these and water and maybe Storm would like them if you don't. She's always drying them to make potpourri and stuff."
Jean nodded encouragingly. "It's probably like you said, Kurt-some prank. If you don't react, they'll just move on to some other victim."
Kurt nodded and smiled crookedly. "I guess I'm an easy target sometimes, huh? Get the foreign kid..."
"In that case, maybe we should warn Paolo!" Kitty laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Want to help us finish off the triple chocolate chunk fudge ripple?"
Kurt pursed his lips in thought but shook his head. "I'd better not...I have the same class Scott does and that report won't right itself. Check my grammar for me tomorrow, Schatz?"
"Anything for you, babe," she said, standing on her toes to kiss him as Jean averted her eyes. Kitty felt a pang of pity for her friend and sensed the same feeling running through Kurt, his eyes flicking to Jean before closing to Kitty's kiss. His hands tensed on her back and held her close for an extra moment when the kiss was over, Kitty leaning against him in silent thanks for having worked out their differences for the time being. "See you tomorrow."

Jean was markedly silent as they finished off the ice cream. Kitty had kept up a constant stream of chatter, not a difficult task for her, but was running out of material. She nearly sighed in relief when Jubilee walked in, despite the Asian girl's scowl. "Hey, Jubes! I'm about to break out the vanilla and make floats...want some?"1
"What I want," Jubilee snapped as she flung herself into one of the chairs around the table, "is Remy to get a fucking clue!"
"Oh?" Jean perked up, unwillingly heartened to see someone as miserable as she this close to Valentine's Day.
Jubilee slammed her fist down on the table and ticatically shouted, "Romance! Is that such a hard concept? I mean, the sex is great-better than great. I mean, earth-shattering, Devil take me cause it feels too good for Heaven sex." She stuck her tongue out at Kitty's wrinkled nose. "But Remy just can't or won't do romance! And this is the one time of year when I'd like it! Yes, I admit it! I, Jubilation Lee, want romance!"
Jean managed a smirk. "Feel strongly about that, do
K
Kitty shoved a coke float at Jubilee and set about making one for Jean. "At this rate, we'll be too big to fit through the doors at school tomorrow."
Jubilee waved a negligent hand. "Fuck it. Who cares? So long as you put out, guys don't notice. Besides," she said, eyeing Kitty up and down, "if eating all this ice cream is what gave you that nice ass, I'll gladly chow down."
"My ass?" Kitty cried, making her float with half as much ice cream as her friends. "You're high."
"Nah, if you heard half the comments about you in that little outfit Monday, you wouldn't say that!" Jubilee muddled her ice cream and soda together into a rather attractive beige mush. "You're way too hard on yourself, Kit. You've got this Jane Mansfield thing going on..."
"She's not quite Mansfield-ish...but she's definitely got the fifties type curves." Jean was glad of a diversion, pushing her ice cream into the soda and watching it bob back up with remote fascination.
"Okay, who wants more ice cream?" Kitty said brightly, longing for a change in topic. She was feeling very self conscious and exposed and would gladly discuss pus-filled sores so long as they weren't focusing on her body any more.
"Me!" Rogue snapped, storming into the room as if she were Hannibal marching over the Alps. "Make it a double." Kitty smirked and nodded, noting grimly that the room seemed to be filling at an alarming rate. "I swear, I will be so glad when this joke of a holiday is over!"
"What did Todd do?" Jean asked around a mouthful of sweet sludge.
"Nothing! And he isn't going to, either!" Rogue jabbed savagely at her float. "He said he didn't want to go to the dance or do anything for the stupid day at all! Not even a card!"
"Um, and this is bad for you how? I thought you just said it was a joke holiday." Kitty did not dare look up at Rogue, the annoyance radiating so strongly off the Goth that she was fairly certain she would burst into flames if goaded.
Rogue plunged her spoon into the mixture in her glass and frowned at it. "That's not the point... It's fucking _Valentine's Day _ and he blows it off like it's any other day!"
Jubilee snorted. "Remy has plans...sex. It's always sex with him. I mean, he's sweet and charming and seductive, but damn it, sometimes I want flowers or even a backrub that doesn't turn into hot, sweaty, screaming monkey sex."
There was a collective shudder at her imagery, broken by a low, "Am I interrupting something?"
"Hey, Beast," Jean said sullenly, stirring her mush into a thin consistency.
"Is something wrong?" Beast trundled to the fridge and emerged with a bottle of water. "I've never seen so many harassed expressions..."
As one, four voices chorused, "Men!"
Beast smirked. "Well, then...on behalf of everyone with a penis, I apologize." He nearly snorted water up his nose at the expression on the girls' faces.
Kitty cleared her throat. "We're having Valentine's issues..."
"Ah...should I call for Storm then?" Beast actually took several steps towards the door before Jean stopped him.
"No, actually...you're the one we should be talking to."
"Me? Um, maybe Logan would do instead...I have cultures gestating downstairs..."
Jean shook her head. "Nope. You. Logan's got problems of his own with Storm... What makes guys act like total jerks?"
Beast spouted the first flip answer that came to mind. "The Y Chromosome." At Kitty's glare, he laughed softly and said, "I don't think they're acting like jerks per se, girls, but rather you're perceiving them as such due to unfair expectations you place on the relationship." His ears rang at the explosion of denials and accusations that flew from the girls' lips until he clapped his hands over his ears and shouted "Enough!" He was not sure which girl made the "eep" noise, but he suspected it was Jubilee. "If you don't tell them what you want, they can't try to do it! And when they don't read your minds, you get offended! Rogue, if you want to do something for Valentine's Day, tell Todd! Jubilee, explain to Remy that sex and romance aren't always the same. Jean...well, I don't know what to tell you..." He sighed. "I'm sorry for the outburst...I've been dealing with Logan all evening."
Kitty perked up a bit. "Logan? He's still hot for Storm, right?"
Beast shifted uncomfortably. "I think I need to check on my cultures...good night, girls."
Rogue scowled. "Tell him, my ass...Valentine's Day is a given! Damn it, even if he asks me right now, I'm not going out with him Friday night!"
Jubilee nodded emphatically. "And Remy's not getting laid!"
Jean just sighed and Kitty rolled her eyes. Rogue stood and put her hands on her hips, a grim smile on her features. "Girls, we're boycotting Valentine's Day!"



1 Ice cream, the world's most perfect panacea.