In Fear of Three Little Words

Did you doubt I'd ever get around to actual consensual sex? Well doubt no more. I might even post the next chapter too just because I've been drinking coffee all day and I'm wired for sound!!!


Chapter 22


Kurt climbed from the passenger seat and stood breathing in the fresh mountain breeze. A chill hung in the air and the leaves were turning magnificent yellows and reds, browns and oranges. The sunset blazed out in pinks and purples, dazzling to the eyes.

“Ibeaubeautiful up here, Logan,” Kurt sighed. “It reminds me of the Alps...only smaller.”

“It is beautiful, elf,” Logan said, sliding an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt leaned in and slid his own arm around Logan’s waist.

Excitement surged through Kurt, running like lightening up and down his spine. He was finally, truly alone with Logan and they had a whole long weekend together, until Monday afternoon. They stood and watched the sun tip over the horizon then started gathering sacks of groceries and their overnight bags.

Inside, the small cabin was cozy. A fireplace anchored one wall. A sofa sat close enough to warm one’s toes. The kitchen was compact with a table and chairs off to one side and in an alcove at the back of the cabin stood a large hand-huned four poster bed, dressed in flannel and down comforter.

“Tell me the place has indoor plumbing,” Kurt said, giving Logan a hard look.

Logan chuckled. “Yeah, it’s got indoor plumbing. Back to the left. I’ll turn up the fire for the hot water heater once we get the groceries put away and the fireplace goin’. There’s a potbelly stove near the bed too.”

Kurt turned, looking all around, then Logan was before him, looking at him with a dark intense gaze.

“Turn off your image inducer, will ya?”

Kurt shrugged. He pushed the button and his mundane persona disappeared. Logan reached up, caressed his face, fingers tracing the line where Kurt had been cut. The place had left a slight scar, not easily seen without parting the fur, but still there. Kurt shivered with thmorimories Logan’s touch brought back.

Logan cupped his chin and bent to kiss him, fingers twining in the strands of his hair. A hand ran down Kurt’s side and over his hip, fingers kneeding his buttock and pulling him closer. Kurt opened his mouth against Logan’s and tasted desire and need and a wanting so intense he had no name for it.

“You sure this is what you want, elf?” Logan asked after breaking the kiss, his voice low and husky “There’s still time to turn back.”

Kurt shook his head. “I don’t want to turn back,” he said then had a sudden fear. “Do you?”

Logan stroked Kurt’s hair. “You gotta be kiddin’,” Logan said. “It took all my willpower just to ask ya.”

Kurt relaxed, a thrill racing through him. “Okay then. It’s agreed. Now, you go start the fires. I’ll put away the groceries.”

Kurt stole glances at Logan as he filled the cabinets and refrigerator with milk and eggs, bread and cheese. For once he wasn’t at all hungry, at least not in that way. He leaned against the kitchen sink and watched Logan light the logs in the fireplace. He smiled to himself, watching this strong man move with such grace and confidence. He turned away and reached to put away a box of rice.

He felt Logan behind him, nuzzling his hair, hands sliding down his arms, wrapping around him. A kiss tickled his ear and Logan’s weight pushed him against the counter.

“Ya know, if I ever get too rough, you tell me, you hear what I’m sayin’?” Logan said in his ear.

“Logan,” Kurt began, trying to turn, but Logan held him in a firm embrace.

“I mean it. If I ever lose it or go crazy...if you’re ever scared of me, you get away.”

“I’m not scared of you. I...I wouldn’t be here if I was scared,” Kurt replied, a pain filling up in his throat.

Logan turned him and that intense gaze was deadly serious.

“I don’t want you to ever be scared of me, elf. I never want that between us again. Not like that first time.”

Kurt wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist and held on tight, trying desperately not to remember being raped by man man. “It’ll never be like that again, Logan. Never.”

“I just wanted to get that straight between us before we went any further,” Logan replied, his fingers tracing the line of Kurt’s jaw in a soft caress, arms wrapped around him in a warm embrace. “You hungry?” Logan finally asked.

“Not really...you?”

“I’m hungry. Just not for food,” Logan said with suggestion in his tone.

Kurt pushed back and raised an eyebrow, a little smile playing on his mouth. “You are a little late for lunch. Will supper do?”

Logan growled and pulled Kurt close again, kissing him hard. They broke apart and Logan turned Kurt towards the bed and playfully slapped him under his tail.

“Go get undressed and get in bed. I’ve got to get something out of my pack.”

“Something?” Kurt said, pulling his shirt off as he headed towards the bed. “What sort of something?”

“You’ll see and you’ll be glad I thought of it.”

“Hmmm.” Kurt pulled off the rest of his clothes and climbed into the bed, glad he had fur for the bed had a chill to it. He lay back among the pillows experimentally, but his heart pounded in thrilled anticipation, his nerves jumping, muscles tight. Shaking it off wasn’t easy and when Logan stood beside the bed, stripping off his shirt and jeans, Kurt’s breath went ragged.

Powerful muscles gleamed in the lamplight, body chisled to a fine-honed edge. Kurt swallowed hard and tried not to stare. He pushed up and crawled over to where Logan stood placing a couple of items on the bedside table.

Kurt slid his hands up Logan’s chest and twined his arms around Logan’s neck. Logan pulled him closer and let out a low rumble.

“I love it when you do that,” Kurt said into Logan’s ear. “You sound like a big cat.”

“That’s nice,” Logan replied with a hint of sarcasm, nuzzling his hair, hands running up and down his body. “Since you feel like a big cat.”

Kurt laughed and reached up to kiss Logan. Sparing a glance at the table, Kurt cocked his head and offered Logan a quizzical expression. “What is that...something, you brought.”

Logan maneuvered them into bed and reached over to show Kurt a tube. “I thought you’d appreciate this. Lubrication.”

“Ah! Wunderbar. You’re a genius.”

“Somebody thought of it long before me, kid,” Logan replied, pulling Kurt into his arms. “I thought it’d be a lot better than spit.”

Or nothing, Kurt thought, but shoved that horrid memory back into a dark corner of his mind. He reached up and stroked Logan’s face, feeling the stubbled cheeks and hard line of jaw. Logan bent down over him, lips catching his. He opened his mouth against Logan’s and that thrill ran down his spine again and straight into his groin. Kurt arched his back, wanting to feel Logan’s naked flesh against his body. Logan’s knee forced his legs apart and Kurt felt Logan’s hand stroke down his chest and stomach, moving to grasp his cock and work him with a firm steady grip.

A gasp escape him, his breath clogging up in his throat. He turned his face away to catch a breath and Logan kissed his ear, sending another tingle dancing down his back.

“Oh,” he moaned and Logan nipped the lobe, kissed behind his ear until Kurt thought he’d explode from sensation.

“You like that, elf?” Logan growled low into his ear.

“I think...I’m going to die...of it. Don’t...stop.”

Logan chuckled, turned Kurt’s face and kissed him hard all the while stroking him without ceasing. Kurt held on, his world narrowing to a single focus. His orgasm strobed through his body, his blood thrumming so hard in his veins, he thought they’d burst. He gasped for air around Logan’s mouth and moaned his pleasure and release.

Kurt lay in Logan’s arms, breath heaving. As he calmed, he heard the beating of Logan’s heart beneath his ear and the sound made him smile. He drew a hand down Logan’s chest with a tentative stroke, a sudden shyness overtaking him. He’d never touched another man like this and his lack of experience rose up before him like a brick wall.

Screwing up his courage, Kurt let his hand roam down Logan’s stomach, stopping just short of his goal.

“What’s the matter? You afraid it’ll bite?” Logan asked.

Kurt pushed up to one elbow and stared down on his bed mate, a man he knew yet didn’t really know at all. Logan’s eyes were bright wiischischief. Taking hold of the back of Kurt’s hand, Logan moved it lower till Kurt touched the hard smooth skin of Logan’s cock. He let out a held breath.

“I want you to touch me, so don’t be shy,” Logan said. “We’ll do this together. Nothin’ to be afraid of.”

“I’m...I’m not...afraid,” Kurt said in a hushed tone. “Just....”

“Inexperienced.”

“Yes, that. I guess my insecurity is showing.”

Logan reached out and gently brushed the hair from Kurt’s eyes. “Just do what you like having done to you. Nothin’ different, really.”

Kurt let his fingers move over Logan’s cock then grasped it, letting it slide in his grip. Logan closed his eyes, head tilting back. Kurt kept his rhythm up and felt the cock grow harder beneath his hand, stirring with need. Leaning down, Kurt kissed Logan’s exposed throat and nibbled and sucked just behind the ear the way Logan had done to him. Logan’s hips arched and hand flexed in Kurt’s hair. A low groan rumbled in Logan’s chest. Logan turned his face and brought their mouths together. A questing tongue parted Kurt’s lips and demanded full access.

After a while, Logan’s fingers stilled Kurt’s hand and Kurt pulled back. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“Not a thing wrong,” Logan said in a husky tone. “I’d just like to finish this in a different way, if you know what I mean.”

Kurt thought then smiled sheepishly, his nervousness washing back over him once again. “Oh...okay.”

Logan’s expression turned concerned. “You still good with this, elf? We’ve got time. If you’re more comfortable finishing this way...we can do that.”

“No,” Kurt said, not wanting to disappoint Logan. And he did want this, he just hadn’t expected such a strange mixture of feelings rolling through him. “I’m fine with this...really.”

Logan rolled Kurt onto his back and leaned up over him. “You’re not doin’ this just for me, are you?”

Kurt gave Logan an innocent, wide-eyed expression. “I want to do this for us. I’m just a little nervous is all.”

The back of Logan’s hand caressed Kurt’s face and that dark intense gaze bore into his, as if searching his soul for the truth. Kurt matched the gaze with his own determination and Logan finally nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Logan reached over to the bedside table, gathering the tube of lubrication and a small packet.

“Don’t you think it’s a little late for condoms.”

Logan sighed. “I know, but it should have been your choice from the beginning.”

“We weren’t offered that option as I recall.”

Kurt saw a momentary spark of rage flash across Logan’s face, a gritting of the teeth and flaring of the nostrils. But Kurt felt no fear. He knew the anger wasn’t for him, but for Logan’s sense of helplessness during their ordeal.

He drew his fingers over Logan’s lips, a gentle caress to wipe away Logan’s pain. He stroked the strong jaw and Logan swallowed hard, forcing back his rage to some manageable holding cell.

“I don’t want this between us, Logan. Please, let’s leave it behind...at least, for now.”

Logan crumpled the condom package in his fist and flung it away to the floor. “Okay, we’ll try to do this right this time.”

Kurt smiled and Logan turned Kurt onto his side, bending Kurt’s knee up then maneuvered behind him.

“You comfortable, elf?” Logan asked in his ear, a hand stroking down his side.

“Yes. I suppose.”

“Good. Just relax.”

Kurt tried to relax and waited with his eyes closed. Logan’s hand slid down Kurt’s tail, stroking it at the base. The sensation was pleasant and on the verge of sensual. Cool slick fingers stroked his hole and Kurt’s breath caught, turning ragged.

“Relax. This shouldn’t hurt much. It should feel good,” Logan murmured to him.

Logan worked a lubricated finger into his ass, stretching him. Kurt fought off dark memories and thought only of the now and how good it was to have Logan touching him. He felt the finger sliding in, deeper and deeper then out again. A second finger was a momentary discomfort, but his body quickly adjusted. Pleasure engulfed his groin and Kurt knew he could take more. He wanted Logan’s cock inside him. He moved to meet Logan’s fingers and he moaned at how good the sensation felt.

“I think you might be ready for somethin’ besides my fingers,” Logan said with a tone of smug satisfaction.

“Yes,” Kurt said breathlessly.

Kurt waited while Logan readied himself. Lying against his back, Logan snuggled close behind him. Kurt tensed automatically when he felt Logan’s cock pushing against his hole.

“Relax, sweetheart. It might hurt some at first, but it’ll get better,” Logan said.

Sweetheart? All right, that was fine. If Logan wanted to call him sweetheart, he could handled it.

A swell of pressure pushed into Kurt, a flash of pain making him tense. It throbbed inside of him and he gave a harsh gasp. He clutched the bedcovers and fought the urge to pull away. But Logan held onto him, a firm grip on his hip. Kurt forced himself to relax and the pain started to fade.

Logan was deep inside of him now, not moving, just letting him get adjusted to the feeling. Those dark memories tried to overtake Kurt again, flashes of the room where he’d been raped...by thin hon holding him now. Kurt shuddered inwardly, pushing the thought away, grasping at what came after, such ecstacy he’d never known and Logan’s arms around him, comforting him and giving him pleasure. Trask’s smug sadistic voice rang in Kurt’s ear though, threatening to ruin this new beginning. He took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

“How you doin’?” Logan asked, his own breath thick with control.

Kurt nodded and turned his face up to see Logan gazing down on himh coh concern and need. Logan slid a handernder Kurt’s head and brought their mouths together for a long kiss.

Then Logan began to move, slow and gentle, more gentle than Kurt ever dreamed Logan capable of. The dark memories disappeared, not gone forever, but faded for the moment by sensation and desire. Kurt moved to meet Logan’s thrusts and their synchronization once again clicked into perfect accord. They moved in tandem rhythm, making love this time, not just compulsory sex forced on them by another.

Logan clutched Kurt’s hip and tail and groaned into his ear. Kurt felt Logan’s coming, felt the cock straining inside of him. Reaching up, Kurt caught Logan by the hair and pulled Logan’s mouth to his. He sucked Logan’s tongue while Logan bucked hard and came.

They lay after, breathing hard. Logan languidly petted Kurt, stroking his fur, caressing his hair.

Their love making was as good as Kurt had dreamed, better than he’d hoped and he felt sated in a way he’d never experienced before.

After a while, Logan stirred behind him and pulled out. He reached over Kurt and grabbed a towel from beside the bed, wiping himself off then did the same for Kurt.

“You okay?” Logan asked. “You’re awfully quiet.”

Kurt turned a lazy smile up to Logan and saw the unease fade from Logan’s gaze.

“I’m wunderbar. You’re wunderbar. Can we do that again soon?”

Logan laughed and Kurt sensed relief when Logan lay back on bed bed and pulled Kurt into his arms.

“You think you can give this old man a few minutes to recover?”

Kurt shrugged. “I suppose, but not much longer.”