Fall Apart To Love

Title: Fall Apart to Love

Disclaimer: I don't own the x-men or any of the characters

associated with them. :( I so wish I did! We'd have so much fun.





Come morning, Ororo still did not know what she was to do about what

had happened between her and Logan. She had tried everything to

bring him out of his constant and sudden moods of depression. She

had done everything in her power to be a friend to Logan, but he

just couldn't let Jean go. Given, it was just her wedding

yesterday, and that would drag on any person's emotions that were in

Logan's position. She couldn't hold what happened last night

against him. And she couldn't let it ruin their friendship.



She had to find him, that was all there was to it. She had to find

him and have a talk with him. Hopefully he hadn't done anything

drastic yet, like leave the mansion. That would be like him



Logan hadn't gotten much sleep. In fact, he had only gotten 45

minutes of sleep, restless sleep at that. The sun was just coming

up and he grimaced at the golden light that shone in through his

window. He couldn't make himself close his curtains though. The

sun could shine as it wished for all he cared. It only taunted him

with the promise of a beautiful day to everyone but himself.



He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sighed. He

needed to get out of this place. It was not a place for someone

like him. He had thought for awhile there that maybe he did belong

here, but the events of the day before kept playing in his head.

His loneliness and cold heart. All his show of being tough and a

loner and in the end he couldn't handle one more night by himself in

his cold bed. Logan couldn't forget the pain. Then there had been

Ororo. A friend, or had been a friend. Someone who cared, someone

he could...what? Use? Hurt? Take advantage of? He wanted to cut

his throat for what had gone through his head in those few moments.

Certainly, that was what he deserved.



Logan growled and swiped his fist out, knocking the ticking clock

off of the bedside table. It crashed to the floor but he paid it no

attention. There was nothing he could hit or break to relieve his

anger this time. It was only help it grow inside him. Hatred for

himself.



A friend...and this is how he treated her. A strong woman that

spared time out of her life to help him and he repaid her by...he

didn't want to think about it anymore.



Logan stood and stalked across his room. The room was too small.

He needed space. But before he could touch the door he stopped.

No, he couldn't go outside. Ororo might be out there. He couldn't

face her. What he had tried...no!



He turned from the door and growled. He knew she would hate him

now. There was nothing here that held him anymore. But could he

really just leave again? Leave her? Why shouldn't he? She didn't

want him here, she couldn't want him here. Logan pushed open a

door, the bathroom door. But to leave, was that all he thought of

this place? Another cold hearted departure because he was too cold

to care for a friend. It was suit the situation. He wouldn't be

welcome back.



"Like I would care!" he growled to himself. He caught his eyes in

the mirror and flinched. He would care, he knew. He leaned on the

counter and stared back at his reflection.



"This is the only home you've ever known," he said softly to the

other Logan. He could feel the anger at those words, the anger that

he had cast himself out again. With a roar his face contorted into

an image or rage and his fist collided with mirror. Cracks spider

webbed outward from the impact point and divided his reflection into

multiple Logans. It made him furious. Two lines of blood ran down

the mirror from his knuckles and he took his fist away. Small

pieces of glass sprinkled down onto the counter. Blood stopped

flowing from the many small cuts on his fingers, then the wounds

closed.



Logan backed up a couple steps and let himself sit on the edge of

the bathtub. He could only stare at the broken images of himself.

Cold, was all he could think.



Ororo knocked on Logan's door five times before she tried the knob.

It wasn't locked and the door creaked open slightly. She held her

breath. She was unsure if she wanted to go in there. She didn't

know if that uncertainty was from the thought of him being in there

or not. She pushed the door open.



A step into the room she stopped, her eyes widening. It was a mess,

objects lying everywhere. A clock broken into pieces was in a

corner. A shredded painting in another. Not Logan's painting,

Xavier's interior decorating.



"Logan?" she called while closing the door. "Logan? Are you in

here?" Fear crept into her heart at the lack of response. If he had

gone already...then there was little she could do. She moved

through the room. It was far too empty for someone to actually be

living in it. There were no signs except for a shirt laying over the

top of a bed post. "Logan?" she called again as she reached for the

bathroom door. It opened before she could. Ororo took a step back

in surprise.



Logan stood in the doorway, his broad shoulders taking up much of

the entrance way. The door closed behind him quickly, before she

could more then glance in there. His hair was in more disarray then

usual and his face looked that much more hard. His eyes were cold

blue that seemed distant and the loneliness was back in them,

somehow she could just see it radiating in them.



"Ororo," he said quickly, hard.



"Logan," she nodded her head and kept her eyes on his. "I came to

talk...about--" she began.



"Usually when people don't answer their door, they don't want t' be

bothered," he interrupted her. She had no time to respond before he

pushed past her to get to the middle of his room. She had always

noticed that it was hard for him to talk while he was backed against

a wall. They had had a few arguments before this.



She turned, angry but kept it mostly in check. "Would you like me to

go then?!" she snapped.



For a wonder, Logan glanced at her and then his eyes fell. They

never fell first when he caught someone's eyes for a reason.

Something was wrong, well she knew that. But something more serious

then she had hoped. It had been a fear deep in her stomach that

what had happened the night before might put a deep wedge between

them. But she wouldn't allow his former actions to anger her

anymore and she wasn't going to allow him to stay angry at her for

her quick words.



Ororo took a deep breath, "I would first like to apologize, Logan,"

she said in what she hoped was a soft voice. Logan's eyes whipped

up and shock was painted on his face for the briefest of moments.

Then it was hidden in those hard eyes again. But he shook his head

angrily at her. His mouth opened to speak but she went ahead, "I am

sorry for my harsh words last night, Logan. They were uncalled for

and thrown out in anger. I am truly sorry for upsetting you. I am

you friend, and wish to remain so," she said.



Logan frowned deeply at her and she was afraid he would refuse he

apology, but his words were nothing she expected. "Ororo, why?

There's nothing you need t' apologize about, darlin'," he said

shaking his head.



Ororo wanted to hug him, but kept her feet still. Shockingly,

sometimes Logan was too kind. Pretending to believe her words were

not overstepping the lines. She smiled at him and said, "Yes, there

is. Yesterday was a...hard day for you. I know that. An upsetting

day. I should not have been so quick to anger. It was wrong of me

to be so selfish to think you were not...hurting," she hoped that

was not too much. Logan could get upset at even a hint you were

calling him sensitive. His eyes looked sad and she was unsure of

what that meant, so she continued, "I understand why you...asked for-

-"



"Ororo, no--"



She held up her hand and he fell silent, "I understand why you asked

for what you did. I will not say I agree, but I understand. I

would just...like to forget what happened, say it never happened so

we will not have this between us."



Logan stared at her for a long moment, his eyes unreadable. Then he

nodded slowly. "Yeah, sure, darlin'. That sounds good," he said,

his voice a rough quiet.



Ororo smiled brightly at him and then wrapped her arms over his

shoulders, hugging him close. His arms wrapped around her and she

heard him let out a deep breath that seemed to drain something from

him. She moved back and looked into his eyes. His own searched

hers silently.



Then she asked, "Something else is wrong. What is it, Logan?"



"Nothing," he said and she knew it for a lie. But she did not press

him on it. If he did not want to talk about it he would not until

he chose to.



"Oh, well, I must get going," she said. "Classes are going today.

Only one day off for...," she trailed off with a glance at Logan.

She had been going to say for Jean and Scott's wedding, but she was

sure that was not the thing to say right now. "I have classes to

teach today," she tried to recover.



"Yeah," he said. She patted his shoulder before turning to the

door. Ororo could feel his eyes on her until she was out of the

room and into the hallway. Something serious was wrong and she

would find out what it was. She had to, for Logan's sake. He

needed someone to help him she knew that much.



"Fuck," Logan cursed under his breath. His stomach was twisted

painfully and he couldn't take his eyes off of the doorway that

Ororo had just exited out of. After all he had done, she still

wanted to be near him. It was enough to make him want to anger her

again so she'll make sure she stays away from him. She didn't

deserve his shit. But he was unable to tell her that. Unable to do

a lot of things once he had seen her standing in front of him. A

friend...



He grunted. A good friend he was. Push your problems on people who

care then try to use them to make yourself feel better for how

long? an hour? Two? maybe three? Well, he needed to figure out

what to do next. Run...he could run. Run from Ororo. Make sure he

wouldn't use her ever again. But the thought made him feel even

colder. To leave Ororo...no matter what he told himself he cared

about Ororo. He wanted to be here...near her.



Logan knew this time he couldn't leave. He knew he couldn't live

with himself if he took off now. He would stay. And he would make

it up to Ororo somehow. He would get back the one thing that made

him feel like he belonged.



A week passed and things seemed to have moved back to normal except

that Jean and Scott would be returning that day. But for the moment

that was on neither Ororo's or Logan's minds. Logan's eyes looked

put upon as he watched Ororo over his cards. Ororo smiled and then

winked at him.



"You know you're having fun," she said then looked at her

cards. "Do you have any 7's?"



Logan sighed softly and shook his head without taking his eyes from

her. "Go fish," he replied. Ororo made an irritated sound and

reached to draw another card. They had been outside talking about

everything and nothing when the subject of card games came up and

once Ororo heard that Logan had never played Go Fish, she had

insisted on teaching him right then and there. Logan grumbled and

put on an image of forced game play but she knew he was having fun,

because he was winning. She cared little about that, though he did

seem to flaunt he was the student beating the teacher.



He did look at his cards then and then at the different collections

of cards in front of him and her. "Got any king's?" he asked.

Ororo frowned and his teeth shined in a victorious grin.



She handed him the two kings she had and sighed as he took them and

placed the remaining cards in his hand in a row along with hers on

the table in front of him.



"I win," he said and his tone made her glare at him. That just

seemed to make his smile grow. Suddenly, Ororo smiled and patted

his hand.



"Well done, Logan. You are a Go Fish champion," she said then let

her power reach out and the slightest shot of electricity shot from

her fingers to his own. Logan yelped in surprise and jerked back in

his seat so suddenly that his chair toppled over with him in it. A

horribly loud crash told her that the chair broke under his weight

and that he did not have the softest of landings. Ororo cringed

even as she laughed. She leaned over the table to look down at

him. Logan was sprawled on his back, broken wood scattered around

him from the chair.



"'Ro, you will--" he started to growl then stopped himself. He took

a deep breath and then said dryly, "Very funny, `Ro, very funny."



"Teach you a few manners," she said. She caught his eyes before she

leaned back and sighed. He had been doing that often in this past

week. Every time he had been about to argue with her or get angry

he would glance at her then stop abruptly and change his attitude.

It was as if he was forcing himself to be agreeable company to suit

her moods. Ororo was not liking it. It was not who Logan was. But

how to bring it up to him had alluded her so far.



Logan pulled himself to his feet and shook his head at her. Maybe

she should just bring it straight out. It seemed to be the best way

with things concerning Logan.



"Why do you do that, Logan?" she asked.



"What?"



"Change what you are going to say to me as if I could not handle

your tantrums," she said. She saw him mouth the word "tantrums" and

frown.



"I don't change--"



"Do not lie to me, Logan. Please. It is a simple question," she

said. Ororo stood up and moved around the table to stand in front

of him. His eyes looked up into hers before he opened his mouth to

speak.



"'Cause, I owe--"



"EVERYONE! Jean and Scott, the lovebirds, are back home" came the

loud interruption from Jubilee who came bounding into the room,

followed by Iceman and Professor Xavier. Once she looked around the

room though and caught sight of Logan her jubilant nature subsided

and her mouth snapped shut. Her eyes fell and she glanced back at

Xavier before continuing through the room muttering under her

breath. Iceman and Xavier both watched Logan as they moved through

the room to the other doorway that lead to the main entrance.

Logan watched the pair stony faced. Ororo took a step back and

watched Logan. He didn't move except to move his eyes from the

exited pair back to her.



"Guess you should go welcome the "lovebirds" home," he said to her.

She did not know what he was thinking. She wished she did. The

idea of him hurting made her heart ache.



"Aren't you--"



"Nah, I'll pass on the welcome home ceremony," he said quickly. She

nodded, understanding and she left him to go greet Jean and Scott.

What was going to happen now? Would Logan revert back to what he

had been before or would the last week have some effect on him. He

had seemed so much more happy in ways then he had been. He hadn't

mentioned Jean at all over the week. Ororo frowned and could not

quite get her usual smile back as she hugged Jean and Scott. What

was to happen with Logan?



Logan knew he shouldn't have turned away from greeting Jean and

Scott. Ororo would see it wrong, he knew. She would think he was

upset over the return of Jean. But to tell the truth, he hadn't

really thought about Jean all week. He had been too busy worrying

over Ororo to worry over Jean. He didn't know what that meant

concerning Jean. Maybe he was finally moving on. Not a moment too

soon.



Logan retreated deeper into the mansion, not knowing exactly where

he was heading. All week he had been careful around Ororo. He owed

her more then he could give. He owed her a true friendship. Not

his idea of a friendship. Use or be used. He glowered at a flower

pot in the hall. He hadn't been able to let himself get angry with

Ororo. She didn't deserve to get snapped at by him. He needed to

make things up to her. But now she was catching on that he was

trying to stay nice with her, he didn't know what to do. He'd have

to figure it out.



He managed to avoid Ororo for the rest of the day and most of the

next. Walking through the hall he spotted Scott and gritted his

teeth as the other man caught his eyes. He was heading toward him,

there was nothing but to stand there and wait or run for it. A

meeting with One-Eye, he thought about running.



"Logan, I wasn't sure you were still here. If it hadn't been for

Ororo mentioning you, I would have thought you'd left about a week

ago," he said. His smirk was there as usual. Logan wanted to erase

that with a fist or two.



"No, I'm still stickin' around," he answered. "Welcome back," he

said with a snap to it.



Cyclops nodded and suddenly sighed and looked around them but nobody

was even in the room. "I hope there won't be anymore trouble,

Logan. I've grown tired of it. I just want to get this new life

going on a smooth start." There seemed to be a bit of pleading in

his voice.



Logan understood and for the first time was willing to give the one

eyed bastard what he wished, "No trouble. Scouts honor," he said

with as much as a smile as he could manage. It still stung trying

to be civil with him though.



Scott smiled but muttered, "You were never a scout."



Logan began to walk past him and said, "True, never too late to

start though." Logan stopped and put a hand on his shoulder, maybe

a little too tight a hold as was needed, but he didn't care. "I

loved her," Scott turned his gaze to him and he continued in a hard

voice. "If you EVER hurt her you'll have me to answer to, got that,

bub?" He let his grip go and continued down the hall without

another word.



He loved her. He had loved her. With his whole cold heart, he

had. What was left of it...had nothing left to love her with.



Logan needed to get to his room before a chance encounter brought

him to Ororo. He reached it without incident and opened the door.

The person sitting on his bed made his eyes widen. He shut the

door.



"What...what are you doin' here, Jean?" he asked the beautiful red

head. Beautiful. Logan had called her that so many times. It

wasn't as striking anymore. He could look past it without effort

and see the sad look in her eyes.



"I thought we could talk," she said. Her voice was soft, soothing.

He realized it was to sooth him, as if he would be upset by her

appearance in his room. Well, he was...that she had come in without

him being here beforehand.



"Talk? Talk about what?" he asked. Logan walked across his room,

removing his jacket and placing it on a chair. Her eyes followed

him.



"About anything, I guess. Logan, I would like us to be friends

still. I want to get all this awkward stuff behind us if that is

possible," she said. Jean eyed him for a moment, then asked, "Is

that possible?"



Logan shrugged and ran a hand through his hair, "Sure, Jean, sure.

Anythin's possible right?" His eyes tightened as he looked at her.

Friends. The only person who called herself his friend was Ororo

and he had pushed that to its limit. He hoped he could rebuild that

someday. So he didn't feel guilty when he looked into those blue

eyes.



"So, how have you been doing?" she asked conversationally. She

settled back and forced a smile onto her face.



He blinked at her abrupt attitude and subject change and then

answered, "Good, Good, I guess. How...How was the...honeymoon?"

The words didn't hurt as much as he thought they would. Maybe he

was getting past this. Maybe...Ororo wouldn't believe he had left

just to get away from her, not Jean and Scott. She would get on his

case about it.



Jean truly smiled then, "It was wonderful, Logan! We went to

Jamaica! Scott took me--" she stopped herself. "It was wonderful,

let us say that." Logan frowned at her as she stood. "I should get

going. I have a lot to get caught up on. Just because I take a

week off doesn't mean the rest of the world does. Good day,

Logan." She said it all in a rush he had no time to respond. She

leaned close and kissed his cheek before turning to the door.



"Yeah, you too," he said before she shut the door behind her. He

let out a deep breath and sniffed the air. He could smell her, her

soft scent but underlining it was something else he cringed at.

Scott. It was well and truly over. He had nothing toward Jean he

could grasp onto anymore.



Ororo hummed softly as she watered the yellow beauty of a flower in

the hallway flower pot. All the plants in the mansion were her

responsibility. She loved to take care of them. They added color

and life to the building. Made it feel more like a home to her.



She smiled as her best friend came into the hallway. She put the

water canister down and walked up to Jean.



"Jean, have not had a chance to talk yet, I hope your honeymoon was

good," she said. Jean hugged her quickly and smiled.



"Yes, it was, thank you very much. Jamaica was a very beautiful

place. Thank you for suggesting it to Scott," she laughed. Ororo's

cheeks colored.



"That was supposed to be Scott's idea!"



Jean just tapped her temple, "I couldn't help it. He was worrying

over it so much that I just accidently caught the thought. I knew

where we were going before he "surprised" me with it."



"Oh, that is too bad. Would have been a lovely surprise," Ororo

said with a frown.



"It was still great fun. Thank you, `Ro."



"Anytime, Jean. I just want you two to be happy together," she

said.



"Speaking of which, what have you been telling Logan? Or better

yet, how have you been brainwashing him?"



Ororo stared, confused. She hadn't seen Logan for the past

day. "What do you mean?"



"I talked to him earlier and Scott just got done telling me about a

conversation between he and Logan. Something is horribly wrong or

wonderfully right!" She laughed.



Ororo's heart sunk. She had a talk with Logan? She knew he hadn't

wanted to see the couple the day before, that was why he had left so

quickly without greeting them home. She just knew it. It still

hurt him to see the two together.



"You talked with Logan?" she asked.



Jean nodded and her smile faded at the look on Ororo's face. "Yeah,

I did. Not too long ago. What's the matter? He was very

understanding. Scott even said so. And for Scott to say that of

Logan...he must have been very agreeable."



Ororo nodded but it made no sense.



Jean continued, "I truly think he may be realizing that my marriage

with Scott is serious and that he needs to let it go. I believe you

are a good influence on him, `Ro." Jean smiled and a sudden light

twinkled in her eyes. "Actually, now that I think about you two

have spent a lot of time together..."



"Jean!" Ororo said quickly. "Please, we are friends." Ororo self-

consciously brushed a hand through her hair and her cheeks colored

slightly. She hadn't thought about that night over a week ago in

almost that same length of time. She had been good to her word, to

forget about it and move on. But now the memories of Logan's lips

on hers flooded her head. If only it had been different

circumstances...she shook her head, she had no call to think about

this. Logan was her friend, that was all. He was upset at the

time, that was all. It had nothing to do with anything but his

loneliness.



"Yes, friends," she said, her eyes were slightly wide as she looked

at Ororo. Ororo caught the look and shock filled her. Jean had

oversaw her thoughts. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm

sorry, `Ro, I didn't mean to..."



Ororo shook her head harder then opened her eyes. "It is alright,

Jean. I understand. I know better then to let my thoughts run wild

around you unless I want to risk you seeing them. I apologize."



"So...he's kissed you then?" Jean asked. "That is definitely

realizing to let go of me," she said.



Ororo's stomach clenched. The memories of the night still moving

strong through her head. He had been so hurt and lonely. All

because of Jean. He loved Jean and had nothing else. Logan had

reached out the only way he could think of to try and recover. Jean

had no idea what he had gone through.



"No, no..." her voice was too soft, she firmed it. "He was upset

and...confused," she said. Then she looked into Jean's eyes. "I'm

sorry, I have to go. I need to speak with Logan," she said. Jean

nodded and smiled a goodbye. Then Ororo was walking quickly through

the halls to find him, if she could.



She reached his room and knocked. There was no answer so she

knocked again louder. "Logan?" she called through the door.



"Hey, `Ro," was the response, but from behind her. She turned in

surprise and then her breath caught harshly in her throat. Logan

was standing there in tight black jeans, shirtless. Sweat made the

hairs on his chest cling to his skin and that shined in the lights

of the hall. His hair was chaotic still but sweat also made strands

cling to his neck and forehead. He must have just come back from a

danger room work out or some other of his suicidal exercises. She

scolded herself mentally. She had seen him like this plenty of

times and never let it get to her. She was still ruffled from her

talk with Jean, especially with the topics they had been talking

about. He had been upset and confused, remember that.



"Logan! I was looking for you," she said.



He smiled quickly and held his hands out, "Well, you found me."



She shook her head at his remark and asked, "Do you think we can

talk?"



Logan eyed her under lowered eyebrows then finally

shrugged, "Sure." He stepped closer and opened the door to his room

and followed her inside. That close she could smell him. Sweat and

man. She didn't know why all of a sudden that smell sent a shiver

down her spine but it did.



He shut the door and said, "It's a pigsty." He muttered under his

breath as he grabbed a old discarded shirt from the floor in front

of her feet and gave her a quick grin.



"It is quite alright," she said and scooted a boot to the side with

her foot. Logan moved across the room and then turned to face her.



"So, what's up?" He appeared nonchalant but she could see the

tension in his eyes. Those eyes could tell you so much as long as

you cared to pay attention.



"Jean said she's come talked with you," she said quickly. Logan's

eyes twitched and he moved a couple of steps closer to her.



"Yeah, she came by..." he said slowly. Ororo sighed and moved into

the room to sit on the edge of his bed. He watched her carefully,

as if she was about to spring a deadly trap on him.



"I mean no harm, Logan," she said soothingly. "I just wanted to

make sure you were alright. She had said you were "understanding"

and well, I know how you can keep what you really want to say deep

down when you feel it is needed."



Logan laughed in relief for a second or two before letting out a

deep breath. "No, `Ro, I told her exactly what I felt. And Scott

too for that matter," he said and his eyes held hers. "I...hope

they are happy together." Ororo smiled slightly. It seemed like he

truly meant those words.



"That is very good, Logan. Very good. Jean did say I was a good

influence on you." She laughed at the look on his face.



"Good influence are you?" he asked in disbelief. Then his playful

look fell and he grew serious. "Yea, well, I guess you have,

darlin'," he said and sat down next to her. "Thank you, `Ro."



She shook her head, "For what? I've done noth--" He put a finger to

her mouth and she stopped. His eyes were hard and soft at the same

time. Firm but something was under that, fighting to the surface.



"For everythin', `Ro. For everthin'," he said without taking his

eyes from hers. His finger fell away and but his gaze didn't.

Ororo's heart suddenly began pounding in her chest as she recognized

that look. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to go ahead and kiss

her or not. He seemed to be caught in the same argument with

himself. He leaned toward her and her breath caught in anticipation

but then he closed his eyes and turned his face away. Logan stood

hastily and cleared his throat. He pounded a fist against his thigh

and turned his back to her.



"Yeah, thanks...for everythin'," he said.



Ororo let herself breathe again and looked up at his back. Had he

been about to kiss her? She shook her head and stood.



"Logan, I thought you were upset about Jean and Scott, but that's

not it is it? Not entirely," she said.



"Why are you here?!" he suddenly asked, rounding on her. Her eyes

widened and she took a step back.



It took her a little to find the answer under his stare, "Logan, I

am your friend."



"Friend, why?!" he asked, his voice grew angry. "Why!? Why do you

care?!" His eyes were hot and hard. She took another step back.

He had not even raised his voice or growled at her in over a week,

and here he was turning his rage on her and for no cause she could

see. She felt the need to defend herself but she tried to remain

calm. He took a couple steps forward.



"Logan, what is wrong?" she asked.



"Answer me!" he growled. "Why?" It was then that she realized he

had her backed against the wall. She could feel fear creeping up on

her. But surely, Logan would not harm her.



"Because I care, Logan. I love you enough to care!" she snapped,

her anger and fear giving her that backbone she was well known for.

Logan's eyes searched hers frantically and he put both his hands to

the sides of her head. She forced herself to stare back into his

eyes.



Logan pressed his lips to hers. Pushed her head against the wall.

She moaned slightly as his hand moved into her hair and his lips

forced hers open and his tongue roughly ran into hers. Their bodies

were pressed tightly together, their lips were grinding together

harshly but Ororo realized then that she did want him kissing her.

She wished he would never stop.



But he did stop and she gasped breathlessly as his lips left hers.

Logan was almost panting. He rested his forehead against her

shoulder, his hot breath moving against her neck.



"I'm sorry," he breathed, almost too quiet for her to hear.



"Sorry?" she asked, "It is alright, Logan. You are allowed to get

angry--"



"No, not that"



"The kiss?" she asked.



Logan didn't say anything, just moved away from her, his hands

lingering on her sides before he moved too far for them to reach.



"Logan, what is the matter?" she asked, reaching for him. He backed

away from his hands.



"I owe you more, `Ro. More then this!" he spat the last word out

like a curse. Logan nodded his head, "Much more then this."



Ororo didn't understand any of it. "What are you talking about,

Logan?"



Logan let out a hard breath and his muscles seemed to stop working

at that. He landed on his bed in a sitting position. He turned his

eyes up to hers. "I'm sorry I tried to use you, `Ro. I owe you

more then that."



"Use me?" she asked. "Logan, when--"



"Before...before today. That night, I tried...I needed," he took a

breath and ran a hand through his hair to cause it to tangle in an

unruly position.



Ororo moved toward him but stopped short. "Logan, I thought we

talked about this. I told you to forget about it. I understand

what you were going through," she said.



"That doesn't matter!" he growled. "'Ro, you're everythin`...good

left in my life. And that is how...THIS is how I show you. No! It

doesn't matter! What I am...it isn't what you deserve. Why do you

even try, `Ro? You have t' know that I'm no good as a friend. I'm

nothin' but a bastard."



Ororo shook her head and grabbed his face in her hands. "Logan,

listen to me. I don't care what happened a week ago. I have

forgotten about that night, and I want you to too. There is no need

to dwell on it. Unless that is how you still feel...the way you did

that night." Suddenly her heart stopped. If he was still pining

after Jean and needed another body to fill the void...



Logan stared into her eyes, his eyes sad. Her stomach clenched,

then he spoke. "I was so cold. But you were there. You always

were so warm, `Ro. Always. I thought...every time you're gone I

feel cold. I just wanted to feel...warm again. I was so wrong.

Darlin', I didn't want t' use ya like that. I owe you so much," his

head began to fall and it was only her hands holding it up enough to

look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, darlin'. And now I'm just doin' it

over again."



Ororo felt tears in her eyes. She did not know what to think.

There was so much she couldn't work out because it was only in his

head. Was he just using her to fill a hole left by Jean. Still,

just using her. She had thought that maybe on the night of her

wedding, but over the week he had seemed to let Jean go. But what

had the kiss they just shared been?



"Then what is this, Logan?" she asked. "Do you still love Jean? If

you do or do not it does not matter. I will not let you go over

this." She realized then that she meant that. They would continue

through this as friends at least no matter what.



"Love her?" he asked then shook his head. "No, I guess I gave up on

that."



They looked at each other. Silence fell between them until Logan

finally spoke again, "All I've been able to think `bout is how to

make things up t' ya."



"Then...what was the kiss for," she asked.



"I just wanted to--" he stopped and shook his head. "I owe you more

then that."



Ororo let herself smile down at him. Then she grabbed his head in

her hands and tilted it up so they were looking at each other. He

looked confused as she leaned down and kissed him. She pulled

back.



"'Ro, why--" She kissed him again, deeper. His lips were firm and

moist under hers. He began to respond to her kiss and she relaxed

her muscles. Ororo gasped as he nipped her lip and his tongue

forced its way into her mouth. She pushed against his chest,

forcing him down until he was on his back. Soon it was a frenzied

rush to get on the bed and clothes began to get taken off. Ororo

smiled at Logan's complications with her bra, why men had a

difficulty with that piece of clothing always alluded her.



But once it was off her body she didn't care anymore what troubles

he had with it. His mouth started at her neck. Teeth against her

skin made her shiver. Then he moved down until his mouth was

hovering over her breast. Her breath was coming in deeply so her

chest heaved up and down. Logan ran a hand up her side, fingers

skimming against the skin of her ribcage, then around the her

breast, just a tickle of a touch. Goosebumps rose on her skin and

she moaned as he took her nipple into his mouth.



Ororo threw her head back and closed her eyes. Her fingers fisted

on his back, nails raking across his skin. He shivered against her

and his teeth grabbed her nipple.



"Logan," she whispered his name. The groan that got her went

straight to her spine. She felt it all the way down her body.



Logan's body shivered again as Ororo raked her nails down his

sides. He ran his hands down her smooth skin. He watched her face

as he reached her jeans. The button came undone under his fingers

and her breath caught. Her chest missed a heave and he smiled. He

planted a kiss to her stomach but he couldn't help but rake his

teeth across the skin. She tasted like a drug, he knew he wouldn't

be able to get enough. He licked and nipped his way to her belly

button as his hand slowly moved the zipper down.



He curled his fingers around both jeans and panties and began to

inch them down her long legs. She lifted up off the bed slightly to

ease the task. Once they were off he couldn't stop the growl that

came from his throat. Logan moved over her body and she opened her

eyes to look up into his.



"God, `Ro," he whispered then leaned down to kiss her. It was a

harsh kiss, full of gasps and groans. Ororo pushed her body up

against his. Her breasts brushed up against his chest, her hips

pushing against his jean covered erection. He pushed into her,

pressing her down on the bed. She tangled fingers into his hair and

gripped tightly. She moaned loudly when he began biting at her neck

and grinding himself against her. He licked a red mark he made on

her neck then pulled away, moving to rest on his knees above her.



Ororo opened her eyes to regard him and he smiled down at her. She

returned his smile then ran her fingers down his stomach. Logan

watched her eyes, but he could feel her hands reach his belt

buckle. They tugged and pulled for a few moments and then she was

smiling as she pulled his belt free, taking it out of the loops of

his jeans. She grinned at it then up at him.



"Maybe some other time," she said mischievously and Logan raised his

eyebrows. She smiled and tossed the belt aside. Her hands returned

to his jeans. He watched her fingers work and pop the button

loose. Then she began working the zipper down. One hand moved the

zipper down as one hand touched the skin that was revealed. He

closed his eyes and breathed.



Ororo poked him in the stomach and gave his jeans a jerk. He stood

up long enough to rid himself of his jeans then was back on the bed,

leaning over her. He hesitated though, the memories of him trying

to use her for this purpose. But that was different right? It was

something else...right? This was something else. She must have

noticed something because she ran a hand against his stubbled cheek

and smiled. It was a soothing smile.



"It's alright, Logan," she said and pulled his head down for a

kiss. He stayed there and pushed his lips against hers again. She

was warm, so very warm.



Logan gripped her thigh and pushed her legs farther apart. The

smell of her was intoxicating. It was everything. It was heaven on

earth. He let his eyes meet hers. He pressed his hand against her,

found the little nub of nerves with his thumb and he flicked it

softly. Ororo tilted her head back and pulled her bottom lip

between her teeth. Logan groaned and repeated his motion, harder

this time. He grinded his palm against her and inhaled deeply, his

eyes rolled back and he shivered.



"Logan," Ororo said his name in a voice so breathless he opened his

eyes. She was watching him with those blue eyes and he felt no

guilt. He was here because he wanted to be and she wanted to be.

Nothing more of motivation.



Logan pressed his lips to her stomach then moved up her body to her

lips. She sighed into his mouth and again she tangled her fingers

into his thick hair. Her nails moved against his scalp and he

groaned. It felt better then he would have thought.



Then she moved her hips against his, pinning his erection between

their bodies. Logan closed his eyes and nipped at her jaw. Ororo

turned her head to give him more access to her neck and let her

thighs fall enough to let him position himself at her opening. He

made no teasing movements, just slowly moved his hips forward,

burying himself deep inside her. Ororo's hand pulled at his hair,

the other hand rubbed into his shoulder. She let out a deep sigh

when he stopped moving and settled inside her. Ororo shifted

slightly and Logan groaned against her neck. Then she pushed her

hips up against his.



Logan began moving slowly, long grinding movements that left only

the top of his erection in her then buried himself deep. She was

warm and tight. Wet warmth met his thrusts and he could only groan

long and low. Ororo's grip in his hair loosened and she stroked her

hand through his hair. Her hips began to rock back and forth with

his movements.



He pushed himself up to look down at Ororo, her eyes were closed and

little breaths left her at each thrust. Logan licked his lips and

sped up and hit slightly to the right. He bit back a groan at

watching her moan and tilt her head back. He continued to hit that

spot, their bodies working together.



Sweat glistened on her body, making her skin look and feel even

softer. He leaned down to lick at her neck. Her hips twitched when

his teeth sunk into skin. She clenched around him as he sucked at

the skin. Logan pushed into her harder, faster. The bed creaked a

couple times before a rhythmic tap of the bed posts hitting the wall

accompanied their movements.



Ororo laughed at the bed's pounding but then bit her lip again when

Logan thrust into her hitting exactly where she wanted him to. She

could feel her orgasm building and building. Logan was panting into

her ear. The sound was exciting and the feel of his hard sweaty

chest sliding against her breasts took her breath away.



She gripped his shoulders, holding on as he pounded into her. A

rhythm she had difficulty keeping up with but was hitting all the

right spots. She moaned loudly and arched her back. She was almost

there. Logan's panting hesitated at her moan as if he didn't want

to interrupt her. His hand's grip on her hip tightened and his

stubble covered jaw moved against her own, which made another

arousing friction working against her body.



"'Ro," he breathed into her ear. Hot breath moved against her skin

and his body stiffened, but his movements didn't slow. She closed

her eyes, tilted her head back, and bit down on her lip. She could

tast blood but didn't care. She was almost there. Almost...



"'Ro," Logan growled, his mouth against her ear. Ororo moaned

loudly as her orgasm washed over her.



"Logan!" she let her moan carry over to calling his name. Her body

was going through pure ecstasy. Logan's movements road her through

her entire orgasm and she panted his name again before his body

pushed hard against her. He was deep inside her and his eyes

clenched shut.



"Fuck, `Ro," he panted and then his breath left him in a low growl.

He moved then, an un-rhythmic thrusting with Ororo clenching her

muscles around him. Logan groaned with one last thrust and then his

head fell beside hers. He still held up his body by his arms but

she could feel every inch of his body pressed against her own.



Slowly they both recovered. Ororo smiled and ran her fingers

through his hair. Logan chuckled at her constant pulling at one

particular strand. He nuzzled against her neck for a few moments,

breathing in deeply and she knew he was smelling her. She had never

really thought about his mutant powers being used in something like

sex. What would it be like if you could smell every scent and hear

every sound your lover made? She hoped it only added to the

experience. because a bad smelling lover was not nice. She frowned

at that. What if she smelled bad. She had never really thought

about that.



Logan calmed her fears, "You smell so good, darlin'," he said into

her neck. Then he pulled back and looked down into her eyes. He

was smiling, a warm smile that she couldn't help but return.



Logan rolled off of her and sighed as his back landed on the bed.

Ororo moved to her side and moved a hand up and down his chest,

liking the feel of the hard hairs under her palm. Logan's eyes

closed and he moved an arm around her.



"Logan," Ororo said, and he let an eyebrow rise in acknowledgement.

Ororo played with a chest hair as she worked up the courage to say

what she wanted to say. "I think I love you."



Logan's eyes opened slowly, seriously and he looked at her. Those

eyes regarded her calmly and Ororo's heart fluttered and jumped into

her throat. Her stomach fell out and she thought she might be

sick.



Then he brushed a hand through her hair. "I love ya too, darlin'.

Now got t' sleep," he said. Ororo gaped at him but he just smiled

and reached over her to hit the switch to turn off the light. Ororo

felt him settle down next to her. His arm still wrapped around

her. After a few moments she let herself settled against him. His

body was strong and warm. She rested her head against his chest and

closed her eyes.



Ororo couldn't help but wonder why it had taken so much to get where

they were. They had been right next to each other for so long, but

neither of them looked at the other twice. Until Logan seemed to be

falling apart and nothing to hold onto except a friendship with

her. He had to nearly fall apart to find love.



She relaxed against Logan and let sleep claim her. It does not

matter any longer. They found each other. That is all that

matters.





The End-----