Need

When Kitty went to bed the night before she was supposed to move into her new apartment with Rogue, she found she couldn't sleep. There was a strange excitement about her impending freedom, but there was also a lot more regret than she had anticipated. She thought about Kurt, a lot. She had been thinking about him non-stop for the past few weeks. He gave her space and she did the same. They worked together in the Danger room, and lived in the same house. For Kitty, it was the quiet times in the Library, or meals in the kitchen that had her most disturbed.

When she went to the library and Kurt was in there, pride wouldn't allow her to just turn around and leave. At mealtimes, she felt awkward. She had to be careful to steer her conversations away from him and she noted that he did the same. In trying to avoid him, she felt like she was spending all of her time thinking about him. She had to always know where he was so she wouldn't run into him in the crowded home. Rogue had retained her friendship with her adopted brother, but at Kitty's request, refrained from discussing their problems.

It was Rogue who went to the Professor first with the idea of Kitty moving out with her. Scott and Jean split their time between an apartment they shared and the mansion. Rogue didn't see why she and Kitty might not do the same. After consulting Ororo, they agreed that it might work. Warren Worthington III owned an apartment building near the highschool; Jean and Scott were currently some of the tennants who rented from him. Xavier liked this idea because the building was secure and mutant friendly.

Kitty, who never did anything halfway, insisted on painting the apartment before they moved. They had cajoled, begged, bartered and threatened their fellow students into helping them with the painting and furniture moving. Jamie Madrox had proved quite handy with the work and was only limited by the number of paint brushes that were available. By the end of two days, Rogue's bedroom was painted a dark blue and cream. A surprisingly mature choice for the girl who usually preferred black.

Kitty, herself, went for a bright harbor blue with white trim and painted her bureau and night table pale sage. The effect was very cheerful. Her mother brought up her old bed from her house. It was a full-sized four posted iron bed with poles that connected all of the posts. She hung ordinary window curtains from these to create a contemporary-romantic look. The kitchen was done in a warm green, and the living ron a n a cheerful yellow. The younger girls in the house vowed to visit often and bring pizza.

Rogue and Kitty spent their last night in the Mansion, staring at bare walls and nearly empty closets. When it was time for bed, Kitty spent a good part of the night staring at the ceiling. She should have taken Kurt aside at some point during the move and talked to him. He'd helped, just like the others, but she had just avoided him. She was going crazy now, she was sure. She imagined him watching her when he wasn't around. She imagined that she caught glimpses of him in the trees when she went for her morning jog. She even dreamed that he was outside her window, watching her sleep. She turned over and tried desperately to fall asleep. Her memories wouldn't let her alone. She thought back to when she first moved into the mansion, and Kurt persued her relentlessly, albeit, jesting. She thought about their friendship that had blossomed into the closest relationship she'd ever had.

Kitty thought about Lance and how things had started and ended with them. Kurt had been present for all of it. She'd asked his advice, she'd cried on his shoulder, and she'd cursed him for being a man. He withstood all of her complaints with a smile and in turn confided his relationship with Amanda. They kept each other's secrets about sex. Kurt had taken the plunge first, and Lance talked Kitty into it a few months later. Kurt shared few details only because he wanted to preserve Amanda's privacy, but Kitty confided all of her feelings of being nervous and scared.

When Kitty had finally slept with Lance for the first time, she'd admitted that it was a little disappointing and uncomfortable. Kurt had been a little angry on her behalf that lance had not turned out to be a very considerate lover. Things got better for a while with sex as they practiced, but even Lance at his best paled in comparison to the near-cataclysmic sensations that she'd experienced with her best friend.