Winter of Our Discontent

Disclaimer: I don't own Logan and Remy I just have the pleasure of their

company. I make no money off of them.





****



Logan woke with a start as something cold was suddenly pressed against his back.

He turned his head to see that Remy had curled up and now had his feet tucked

under him for the warmth his hirsute body generated. Logan smiled and reached

behind him to tickle his lover behind the knee.



Remy stirred a bit and groaned as he turned his back on Logan . The older man

laughed and swatted the red head on the bottom. "Wake up sleepy head, daylight's

wastin'." he said as he moved to get up off the bed. That earned Logan another

groan and what he was sure was an insult, but since it was verbalized into the

pillow he had no idea what the Cajun had cursed at him. Chuckling, he entered

the bathroom and turned on the shower.



By the time he emerged from the shower Remy was awake and sitting on the side of

the bed when Logan came out of the bathroom. "C'mon, kid," he said with a

smile. "Times a wastin' and we got a long way to go yet."



Remy yawned and stretched his arms over his head. A hot shower sounded perfect

right now, he was a little stiff from sleeping and a bit sore from their

lovemaking the night before. He stood and kissed Logan before heading to the

shower muttering something that Logan could barely make out, only that it had

something to do with coffee. Chuckling, Logan began to dress and pulled some

clothes out of Remy's duffle bag for the boy to wear.



*********

They reached Winnipeg at 4:30pm . Remy was insistent that they go up there and

get Logan some hockey memorabilia. He was sure that if he kept on the subject

it would be easier for him to convince the older mutant that they needed

electricity in the cabin, if for nothing else than for watching hockey games.



Logan pulled the jeep over. "Where we stayin', Rem?"



Remy looked at the information he had saved on the laptop. "de Inn Fort Garry,

Cher ." He stated. "Dats de one I was telling y' about. Its on Pembina

Highway , I got us a room wit' a king size bed and tub big enough f' two."



Logan smiled and looked at the map. Moving the jeep back into traffic he headed

off to Pembina Highway . His smile grew broader as he thought about soaking in

that tub with Remy. There was just something about sinking into a hot bath with

his boy wrapped in his arms.



After checking in Remy showered followed by Logan and they went to the front

desk to ask about restaurants in the area. The girl at the desk was friendly,

smiling brightly as they approached the desk. "We're lookin' for a place to

eat" Logan began. "Nothin' fancy just some good food maybe get a beer or two."

The girl looked at Remy and smiled again. "Toad in The Hole Pub" she answered.

"Great food, good prices, a really fun place to eat." Logan and Remy looked at

each other a moment and Remy smiled. "Sounds great, Cher " he said. He

thanked the girl and started to walk to the door but, Logan moved a bit slower

wanting to eat someplace more low key and quiet. He was not really in the mood

for a "fun place to eat." Sighing he climbed into the jeep and headed to the

restaurant.



It was just as he had feared, loud music and talking, people buzzing all around

the place. It was hell on his senses to be in a place like this. After about

fiver minutes in the place his senses were getting overloaded. It was like an

itch he couldn't scratch and he was becoming more and more irritated.



He finally turned to Remy. " Rem, do ya think…." He stopped mid sentence when

he saw the look on Remy's face. Eyes wide and a bit glassy, a smile playing at

his lips, a blush starting to come into his cheeks. At that moment, as he

stared at the almost glazed expression on the boy's face, Logan realized that

all of the emotions of the people surrounding them were like a drug to the

Cajun; a fix that was as essential to the boy as the very air they breathed. It

suddenly dawned on Logan that since they left the mansion they had been alone

most of the time. It was nice, just being the two of them. But it didn't occure

to him what that could be doing to Remy's empathy.



How would Remy react to being out in the middle of nowhere with just him for

company? It was 50 miles to the nearest town from his cabin. Would Remy

really be able to live in such a remote area with only him for company? Logan

thought hard about this and a deep fear came over him. What if Remy left ?



Logan 's thoughts were interrupted as the hostess approached them and led them

to a small table next to a group of teenagers. Logan groaned inwardly. They

were laughing loudly and talking over each other. It was a wonder to Logan that

they could even understand one another. Logan scowled and snapped open the menu.

Remy didn't notice as he was enjoying the crowd. The chatter and the

rambunctiousness of the teenagers was like music to the Cajun's ears. He was

almost reeling from all the energy in the place. It was like he was a battery

being recharged. He looked over at the table of teens and smiled at the play

going on there.



Logan watched Remy over the menu. He began to think again about the two of them

being alone at his cabin. He figured it may be all right in the warmer seasons

when people were apt to visit. Logan had friends in the area but the nearest

person was over twenty-five miles away. The winters were different. That was

Logan 's time to be alone. The only way around was a snowmobile and Logan

didn't own one. He lived simply at his cabin and liked it that way.



At least he thought he did. Now that he had Remy by his side he wasn't so sure

anymore. The thought of being alone frightened him now.



He thought back to Justin and the cave. The boy ended his life alone. There

was no one to mourn his passing except Logan . Now Logan thought about his own

life and how alone he was. Sure he had friends and acquaintances but when it

came right down to it, he was alone… and now that thought scared the hell out of

him. He didn't want to be alone anymore.



A deep, rumbling sigh came from the feral. But, Remy didn't hear as much as he

felt the roiling turmoil of emotions coming from the man sitting across from

him. It was enough to dampen the recent high he was experiencing just by being

around so many party goers in the restaurant. He turned with a frown towards his

lover. He was a bout to ask Logan what was wrong when the waitress came to the

table to take their orders.



"Give us a minute will ya!?" Logan snapped. "How can anyone think with all

this noise!?"



The waitress stepped back and stated she would come back in a few minutes then

practically ran from the table.



Remy looked at Logan with a shocked expression. "Whats de matter, cher?" He

asked, concern in his voice.



Logan didn't look at him, and he didn't answer. Instead, he gritted his teeth

and tried to concentrate on the menu, eager to avoid the argument he knew was

coming. But, Remy was having none of that. "Talk to me, Logan. What's going on?

"



Sure he had acquaintances, and even those he considered good friends. But, when

it came down to it, Logan had always been alone. All of his long life, the

things he had done to survive, had built a wall around his heart. There was no

one that had come close to breaching those walls...until the Cajun thief sitting

across from him.



Logan looked up at the boy again, watching him soak up the atmosphere around

them, and began to feel guilty. How selfish was he to want Remy to live in

isolation with him in his cabin retreat? Guilt churned in his chest, making him

ache. Combined with the onslaught of all the smells and noise around him, his

emotions began to soar to an irrational height and he found himself ripping the

menu apart.



Remy's head snapped round to stare with wide eyes at his lover. " Logan ?"



"This ain't my scene" Logan replied sharply. " If this is something you think

you need maybe we're just too different to make this work."



The emotions rolling off of Logan were making Remy sick and it was beginning to

effect him. Remy was feeling the overwhelming feeling of guilt coming off Logan

and he couldn't understand why. "Where did that come from?" Remy asked. "What'd

I do ? I t'ought you'd like dis." he stated referring to the side trips along

the way to the cabin." I was doing dis for you." he added. Remy's empathy which

he had opened up to get a little recharge of energy was not closing. He was

feeling emotion from all over the room but mostly he was feeling Logan 's guilt

and he was projecting it back at the feral.



'Well guess what, bub? I didn't ask ya for any of this. Logan 's guilt was

spiraling and he didn't know how much more he could take.



Remy's eyes saddened and his stomach was in knots. " Logan , I know you didn't

ask for dis, but I t'ought…"



Logan glared at the boy, his heart breaking into a million pieces and battling

with the guilt he felt. "Look kid, it's been a fun. But it's time to get offa

this ride." Logan saw the hurt in those beautiful red eyes, but he couldn't

stop now. Remy would be so much better off without an old man like him dragging

him down. He pushed away from the table and strode quickly to the door. If he

didn't leave now, he would fall to knees and beg forgiveness.



Remy blanched at that statement. He wanted to say something… ANYTHING to stop

this but no words would come out and it was too late, Logan had already left,

the door closing behind him. Remy stared after his lover. He couldn't move.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were so happy when they got here and

in a matter of minutes his world was crashing down around him. "What da hell

just happen?" he asked himself. He was confused and heartbroken and wanted to

scream for Logan to come back but all he could do was sit there and watch him

go.



Out on the sidewalk, with the overbearing sounds and obnoxious smells of the

pub behind him, Logan 's head cleared a little. His legs felt weak as they

struggled to carry him further away from his love. What had happened? Wasn't

it just this morning that they were happily traveling the roads together? What

about all those plans they'd made. But, he knew it was too good to be true. No

one ever stayed with him for long. He was a killer, a weapon of mass

destruction who deserved to be used and thrown away like so much trash.



Remy looked around at all the people staring at him. He got up slowly and made

his way to the exit. He was screaming at himself. "You idiot ! What were you

thinking?! How could you do this to him?" His empathy was wide open and Logan

got the worst of the rebounding effect that happened when his shields were down.

He should have known better than to open his shields in such a place.



Once outside Remy felt the cold more than ever and started to make his way back

to the hotel. About a half mile into the walk back he saw the jeep pulled over

to the side of the road. Panic struck him and he ran towards it his heart in

his throat. Inside Logan was hunched over the steering wheel, his shoulders

heaving with the deep breaths he was taking to get himself under control. This

panic attack was the worst one yet and he couldn't get himself to calm down. He

felt that he had just lost everything. Like always he would screw up and he

would be left alone. Before he would handle it, go off and come to grips with

it all. But now he felt like the world was crashing down around him. He was

sure he wasn't going to come back from this one.



A loud banging on the window broke his thoughts.



" Logan !" Remy was screaming now and pounding on the window trying to get Logan

to look up at him. " Logan , please look at me!" He yelled.



Logan raised his head and turned to look at who was doing the banging. "Remy?"

he asked quietly. He couldn't believe it. Remy wouldn't have come back to him

after what he did.



" Logan , please open the door." Remy pleaded. He needed to get Logan to talk to

him. He needed to hold him and tell him it would be all right, that he didn't

need anything or anyone but Logan . He had to make the man understand that.



Logan looked at Remy as though in a daze and then his hand moved slowly to open

the door.



Remy practically climbed into the jeep to hug the older mutant. Logan didn't

return the hug at first, stunned that Remy was here with him again. But slowly

his hands moved to hold the young man. They stayed that way for several

minutes.



Remy moved back from Logan for a moment and brought his hands to his lover's

face. Remy, holding the man's head still looked him in the eyes and said

softly " Logan , we need to talk, Cher ."