In Fear of Three Little Words

Chapter 18


Logan laid out the unfolded paper on the table, pinning it at its corners and looked around at the gathered team. They murmured amohemshemselves, curious about the coming mission. He glanced over to see Kurt watching him, yellow eyes intense and face pinched with anxiety.

Two days he’d spent hashing out the details of this plan and now it was time to reveal it to the team. He’d planned to talk to Kurt about it, but Logan somehow hadn’t found the right way to tell Kurt one small, but infinitely important detail. And by the time this meeting was over Kurt might not want to talk to him about anything.

“Fury came through for us,” Logan said, drawing everyone’s attention. “I’ve got the blueprints for Trask’s facility with markers for security points and Trask’s personal office.”

“Once again, we are in Nick Fury’s debt,” Ororo said. “He’s proven himself an ally in our cause.”

“Why is Trask’s office so important?” Scott asked.

“There’s data there we need to destroy, Scott,” the Professor stated. “We’re fairly certain that he’ll have personal copies of information we do not wish to become public knowledge.”

Scott nodded, but Logan knew Scott Summers wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“The Professor wants to keep the blood shed to a minimum,” Logan said with deliberate sarcasm. “Though these creeps had no compunction against shedding mine or Kurt’s. The objective is to destroy all of Trask’s data banks and all the data he’s put together. We also want to disable his technology. When we go in, we go in to roy roy machines, not men and women. We do everything we can to prevent injury or death...except to Trask.”

“Logan,” Charles said in a warning tone.

“Okay, so nobody dies,” he growled back. Though Logan wasn’t at all certain he’d be able to restrain himself if he saw Trask in the flesh.

“Shadowcat, I’m gonna need you to fry Trask’s computer system and help search his office.”

Kitty nodded.

“Storm, you and Beast will man the Blackbird controls and serve as protection for our escape once we get the job done.”

Storm and Beast acknowledged their assignments.

“Rogue, Magma, Iceman and Cannonball. You’ll be shutting down communications, the alarm systems and the surveillance cameras.”

They all murmured their agreements.

“Jean, we may need your mind reading ability in case we come up short with this blueprint information. You’ll be with Cyke, Bezerker and Sunspot. That team will be taking out security points, shutting down their labs and their equipment. Blow them, burn them, fry them. I don’t care. Just shut ‘em down.”

Jean looked at Scott then back to Logan and nodded.

Logan let his gaze slide over Jamie, noting the boy’s disappointment, but Kurt was his primary focus, the elf sitting there, yellow eyes narrowing, body tensing.

“I’ll be with Shadowcat as her protection and to make sure we get all the data we’re looking for.”

Everyone looked at each other then glanced furtively at Kurt.

“And what about me?” Kurt finally asked, his voice harsh and cold.

Logan looked Kurt in the eye. “You’re not goin’.”

Kurt shot out of his chair. “Why not? You need me. I can get us inside without resistance. I can circumvent the alarm system.”

“I don’t want you in there, elf.”

“Logan,” Charles began.

“You will not treat me like a child,” Kurt injected. “I have been a member of this team from the beginning. I have more at stake here than anyone else besides you.”

“Kurt, listen to me,” Logan said.

“I am not Kurt here! I am Nightcrawler!”

“You’re not ready,” Logan replied. “You went through hell in that place and I’m not gonna have somethin’ happen to you in there again.”

“What? You think you can make up for what happened...what Trask did to us? How? By undercutting my confidence in front of the whole team?”

“That’s not what this is about and you know it.”

Kurt sprang forward, getting up in Logan’s face. His eyes gleamed with his anger and his muscles were tense for a fight.

“Then tell everyone what this is about. Go on!”

Kurt’s dare rang in the air, the room going silent with expectation.

Logan hadn’t expected such a fight from Kurt. He’d expected the kid to roll over and do as told even if unhappy about it. Logan had made a big mistake thinking so.

“Nightcrawler has every right to go, Logan,” Charles said. “More right than anyone as he said. He’s ready if he says he is.”

‘Perhaps more ready than you, my friend.’ Charles’ voice rang inside Logan’s head and he whirled on Charles, wanting to deny those words and knowing he couldn’t.

He turned back to Kurt, feeling defeated. Images of that collar dispensing agony into Kurt, haunted Logan’s dreams. Other dreams haunted him as well, but he shoved them away and let out a sigh. “Okay. You’re with me and Shadowcat.”

“I’ll try not to be too much trouble,” Kurt spat in reply and returned to his seat.

Logan blew out a breath and scanned the room. Every last face was trying hard to school features to blank emotion. Kitty was biting her lip. Scott looked smug, but kept glancing over to Kurt with a questioning expression. Logan figured Scott desperately wanted to know what Kurt had been referring to.

“Then it’s a go,” Logan stated. “Tomorrow night. No training session in the morning, but you’ve still got school tomorrow. Now get outta here and get some rest.”

Logan watched the others leave, talking among themselves in anticipation and excitement. Kurt still sat watching him with hurt eyes and mouth tight with unspoken anger. They obviously weren’t finished with this.

“Well,” Charles said, eyeing Kurt as well. “I was going to have a few words with you, but perhaps Kurt can straighten you out better than I. I’ll leave you two alone.”

Charles rolled out the door and shut it behind him. Logan looked over at Kurt and saw agitation still in Kurt’s tense body. Logan fell into a chair beside Kurt and waited for a lambasting.

“Why did you do that, Logan?” Kurt asked, not in anger, but with a tone of deep pain. “Have I not shown enough courage? Have I not lived up to expectations?”

Logan pulled his chair around so he could face Kurt. “Aw, elf, you know that’s not why I don’t want you to go.”

“I am not a child.”

“Damn straight you’re not.” He reached out to touch Kurt’s face, but Kurt swiped his hand away.

“Then why? You have humiliated me in front of everyone. They’ll think I am incapable of doing my part. That I am a detriment to the team.”

Logan dropped his gaze. He hadn’t thought of his actions in that way.

“All I wanted to do was protect you.”

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “We can’t have this, Logan. I care for you so much, but you can not be my protector and I still be a part of this team.”

Logan reached out again and this time Kurt allowed his touch. He drew the back of his hand along Kurt’s cheek, stroking his fingers through strands of black hair. Yellow eyes closed and Kurt turned his face and kissed Logan’s hand.

“I’ll make this right, elf. I’ll talk to the others, make them understand where I was comin’ from. I’m sorry. What I did was wrong, but the thought of Trask gettin’ his hands on you again...I can’t stand it.”

“It won’t happen, Logan. We won’t let it happen.”

“And what we’re doin’ tomorrow night doesn’t solve the problem either. It just gives it a big headache. Trask will be up and runnin’ again before we know it.”

“Let’s hope that is not true and that the Professor was as successful as he believes he was in getting an inquiry started.”

“I still think the only good Trask is gonna be a dead Trask.”

Kurt grinned at him. “You’ll get no argument from me on that one.” Kurt leaned forward for a kiss, hand running up Logan’s arm to relax on his shoulder. Logan slid his hand into Kurt’s hair and brought their mouths together. “Are we clear on this then, Logan?” Kurt said pulling back enough to meet Logan’s gaze.

Logan nodded. “No more playing protector at your expense. Gotcha. But tomorrow, you be careful cause if anything happens to you....” Logan’s throat closed up.

“Logan, stop thinking that way. Scott does not constantly worry about Jean’s safety...or perhaps he does, but he respects her enough to allow her to do her job.”

Logan nodded again. “I know. I know. And I do respect you, but it’s only been a few weeks since we were in that place thinkin’ we weren’t gettin’ out alive.”

Kurt traced the line of Logan’s jaw and across his lips, moving closer for another kiss. The door opened and Kurt shoved back, sitting up straight and Logan did the same with an inner groan.

“Oh,” Jean said. “I’m sorry. I left my hair tie in here. I didn’t realize anyone...I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Logan gritted his teeth, angry with himself for his carelessness. “It’s okay, Jeannie. Just apologizin’ for my behavior towards Kurt earlier. I was way out of line. I want everyone to know that. I’m just playin’ protector when it’s not my job.”

Jean smiled. “I have some problems with Scott doing that with me.” She seemed to realize her analogy and made a conciliatory face. “Not that you two...not that I was saying...I mean.... Well, gotta go.” Jean disappeared out the door in a hurry.

Logan leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face. “You’d think with a place this big we wouldn’t have such a problem with a little privacy.”

Kurt pushed up out of his chair and leaned on the arms of Logan’s chair, his face inches from Logan’s. “I’ve got school in the morning. I’m going to bed. But you are going now to tell the others that you do not think I am a coward or an incompetent. Then, just possibly, I will forgive you for what you did. Got it?”

Logan grinned and pulled Kurt down into his arms, kissing him soundlyurt urt pulled back finally with a dreamy smile on his lips.

“I think I’ve got that, elf.”