Forever

FOREVER—CHAPTER 18 (NC-17)

 

 

A/N Thanks millions of times over to Foxfeather for being
the world’s best beta and for keeping Kurt coherent (not to mention inspiring
many plotbunnies and writing some kickin’ fic of her own). Tons and heaps of thanks also go to
InterNutter for letting me use (and abuse) her plotbunny—go check out her site
at http://cat.devil.com As always, if you recognize it, I don’t own
it nor am I making any money off of it.
I’m just a poor grad student with a penchant for the Goth and an
annoying accent. J

 

 

 

 

Amara felt her
breath coming in short gasps; Lance’s face swam before her, lined with concern
and something verging on panic. Her
hand flew to her throat and she rose, swaying on her feet. He can’t mean it! Jealous? Lance? Of what? Why? Oh,
damn. I’m going to be ill. Amara lurched towards the bathroom, smacking
her shoulder in the process but not feeling it. Lance followed her, tapping lightly on the door, mindful of the
people still awake. Oh, go away! She rested her head on the cool porcelain of
the toilet bowl and let her empty stomach heave in futility. Why would he be jealous? He must have
been fucking with me, trying to get the upper hand. Why did I feel insanely happy then? Lance’s tapping grew louder and Amara forced herself to her
feet. “Back off a sec. I’ll be out in a moment.” She thought she heard him sigh; waiting
until she heard her bed emit a small creak, she splashed her face with cold
water and emerged from the bathroom looking shaken and pale.

“Puke?” Lance was sprawled on her bed, chin propped
on his hands and looking for all the world like a Regency rake.

No thanks,
I’ve had enough. Ew. I’ve been hanging around Jubilee too
long. “No. Just…dizzy.” Amara paused a few feet from the bed. Take the bull by the horns…at least he looks a little freaked
out, too. “Jealous of what?”

“Dunno.” He avoided her gaze, rolling onto his back
and examining the nails on one hand.
“Scott, I guess.”

“Why?” Hope warred with fear and revulsion in
Amara’s breast. Why should I be
repulsed? He’s not hideous…and he’s
amenable to servitude.

“Dunno.” At Amara’s snort, he rolled back onto his
stomach and glared at her. “You’re not
jealous of Kitty?”

Carefully,
Amara stated, “Not for the reasons you think I am.” I’m jealous that she gets to love and be loved with no
expectations put on her other than to be herself. I’m jealous that she’s universally adored and wanted while I am
not. I’m jealous that she has a
passionately devoted boyfriend while I, a Princess of Nova Rome, have no
one.

Lance
nodded. “Gotcha. I don’t know why I’m jealous of Scott, but I
just am. It’s not like you and I are
together or anything, right?” He
laughed nervously. “I mean, just
because we’re fucking…”

“Exactly.” Amara let out a similar laugh and eased
herself onto the bed, sitting next to him.
“So…” Her momentum was gone. She
could not work herself into a domineering frame of mind and Lance seemed to
have lost interest in sexual activity, or so she thought. They sat in relative silence for a few
minutes, broken by the occasional intake of breath as if one or the other
wanted to say something but then thought better of it. Amara only jumped a little when Lance put
his hand on her knee and left it there, heavy and still. He stared straight ahead, but she noticed he
was turning slightly pink around the ears.
What’s going on here? She
relaxed herself back onto the bed, her head becoming level with Lance’s
hip. He tightened his grip just
slightly on her knee and she could not suppress a sharp intake of breath at the
jolt that shot through her. Lance turned
his head just slightly then, looking at her leg out of the corner of his eye
and she felt a burning course through her veins everywhere his eyes
touched. “Lance…”

“Just…be quiet
for a minute, Amara.” He was unlike she
had ever seen him before, intent and nervous at the same time. He slid his hand down her calf and propped himself
up on his elbow, gazing at her face.
She had begun to feel distinctly like a bacterium under on a slide when
Lance finally spoke. “Have you ever had
a normal relationship?”

“Has anyone?”

“Cute. Be snotty when I’m trying to be serious.” He gave her calf a light slap. “The thing is, I had a revelation.”

“Shall I alert
the media?” Amara tried to move away
from his touch but found herself pinned by his strong grip and her own lack of
will to try hard.

“Damn it, Amara,
I’m trying to say something.” He sat up
and she found that she actually missed his touch. “Let me try another way.
Do you love Scott? Or do you just want him?” He was pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes
shut in aggravation.

“What kind of
question is that? Why the Hell are we
doing all of this plotting and shit if I didn’t love Scott and you didn’t love
Kitty?” Amara pushed herself to her
feet and began pacing the room, twisting a lock of hair around one finger in a
subconscious sign of confusion.

“Maybe…maybe we
just loved the idea of them. Kitty is
beautiful and smart and…well, I’m not.
She’s a dream girl for guys like me.
When she wouldn’t have me, I snapped.
I had to prove to her that I was worthy of her. And when she went to Freak Boy, I lost it
entirely. I mean, he’s a fucking blue
elf—at least I look normal!” Lance let
out a sigh of frustration, not seeing the myriad of emotions passing over
Amara’s face. “I just wanted her so bad
that I didn’t really see that it wasn’t her that I wanted but the idea of
her.”

“Fuck me running
backwards. Lance, have you been reading
Freud?” Amara had found her defenses,
hidden behind layers of fear and panic, and hastily erected the walls. Lance’s brows snapped together in anger but
whatever he was going to say was cut off by Amara’s harsh words. “You think you have feelings for me? Is that it?
You don’t. You just want someone to fuck on a regular basis and picture
Kitty in place of her.” She failed to
add that she had not thought of Scott sexually since the first time she slept
with Lance, and her old Scott-fantasies were taking a distinctly Avalanche
theme. “Lance, look, I will do whatever
you want to help you get Kitty. Within
reason. Just don’t try and tell me that
you love me.”

Lance’s jaw
worked in mute frustration. Either I
pretend I don’t have whatever the Hell these feelings are and get to keep
seeing her or I tell her that I haven’t really seen her as Kitty in bed since
that time she asked me to call her Kitty, and then I’m stuck without
anyone. On one hand, a steady
fuck. On the other hand…well, my other
hand. On a regular basis. “Fine.”

“Fine, what?”

“I won’t tell
you that I love you and we go on with the plan.”

“Good. Now…”
She glided back over to the bed and stood between his spread knees, “I
think you were saying something about wanting to be in charge?” Amara rested her hands on Lance’s shoulders
and gazed steadily into his widening eyes.


“Think you can
stand not being Princess for once?” He
sneered at her, but his eyes bore no malice.


“Think you can
make me forget that I am one?” Amara
stifled a gasp as Lance seized her hips and pulled her to him, pushing his
mouth against her breast. She threw her
head back, delighting in the feel of his warm mouth leaving damp circles on her
thin t-shirt. He found her hardened
nipple and suckled there, drawing small mews of pleasure from Amara. His hands slid around to her lower back
before dropping to cup her bottom, kneading with his fingers. He switched his attention to her other
breast and hooked his ankles behind her calves, laying back on the bed and
pulling her down on top of him in the process.


“Amara…” He scarcely heard his own voice, so loudly
was the blood rushing past in his ears.
I want this to be at least one good and pure thing in my life. I want this to be lovemaking for once and
not something raw and dominating. Not
that there’s anything wrong with that… Amara had her eyes tightly closed
against his onslaught, her head bent forward so that her chin rested against
her chest. Lance found her mouth with
his own and forced her lips apart, nipping and sucking on her lower lip before
sliding his tongue into her mouth. She
stiffened and then relaxed against him, accepting his tongue with her own and
then reciprocating with equal passion.
Lance shifted her down his body, bringing their faces even so that she
would not have to crane her neck to continue the kiss. One of his hands slid under the back of her
shirt and fiddled with her bra clasp until Amara pulled away slightly, moving
so that she could unhook her bra on her own.
As soon as it was unclasped, Lance grabbed her again and kissed her
hungrily. Cupping her face in his
hands, all remaining thoughf Kif Kitty flew out of his head, leaving just one
thought: Amara. He felt his heart start
pounding as she moaned quietly into his kiss, pushing her hips against his
lower abdomen. He was a good foot
taller than Amara and much larger-boned; Amara looked so small and delicate in
his hands that he was wont to forget just how powerful and strong she could
be.

This is
weird. Good-weird, but weird. I think I
may enjoy this, even without spanking.
Or wax. Or pain. Lance had rolled Amara onto her back and was
massaging her breasts with one hand while the other cradled her head. Amara just lay there, responding to his
every touch with sighs and soft murmurs that she was not even aware of making. Is this submission? I think I may like this in moderation.

Lance suckled on
her neck just below her ear, causing Amara to arch her back and groan
aloud. Lance smiled against her skin
and increased his efforts, each moan and hiss she made shooting like lightening
to his groin. All this and we’re
still mostly dressed… Lance would
never admit it but his experience with women was not as vast as most
believed. Two girls from his old
school, Tabby, and now Amara. The two
girls from his old school had been what teenagers referred to as pokes—a once
or twice thing, not very long in duration.
Just a lot of sweat and a general dissatisfaction. Tabby had disturbed him because she cried
every time, never saying why. He had
only slept with her a handful of times, so unnerved was he by the
experience. Amara, though, was
everything he had imagined sex would be like.
Her proclivities for pain and bondage tapped into darker desires that he
had previously been ashamed to admit he had, things he knew Kitty would freak
out about. Amara pushed her center
against him, letting him feel the damp heat that was spreading across the
crotch of her pants. Time to get things moving… One-handed, Lance unfastened Amara’s jeans and then his
own. She broke their contact and
slipped her jeans off, then her top.
“Still no underwear?”

“Be
prepared.” She smirked faintly at
Lance’s eye-roll then smiled full on as he disrobed. Ooooh. Nice. Ignoring a faint roil of nausea and
dizziness, Amara lay back on the bed and let Lance slide his hands under her
knees, lifting them so they were bent and apart enough for him to lay between
her thighs. He paused for a long
moment, relishing the feel of her warm flesh against his as they lay
breast-to-breast. Amara’s eyes fell
shut and he took the moment to slide fully into her, hissing in the sudden rush
of warmth and electricity to his most sensitive organ. “God, Lance…”

Such an
un-Princess like thing to say… I like it.
Lance bit down on his lip to keeom com crying out as she clamped her
muscles around him, inflicting that mix of pain and pleasure he found so
enticing. “Shit,
Amara…stop..don’t…” She clamped down
again, her eyes flying open and a sly smile crossing her face. He could see the wheels turning in her brain
and bit out, “I’m…control…” A look of
disappointment crossed her face but she complied, relaxing around him. Lance took a moment to breathe deeply and
then moved within her. He could feel
the muscles in her arms tense around him and her heels dig into his backside as
he picked up the pace, driving into her while planting soft kisses from her ear
down to her collar bone. Their height
differential made it slightly awkward, but he bent his head to capture her
breast in his mouth, hunching his back to achieve the action. Amara bowed up as he nibbled on her soft flesh
and he could hear the strangled moan in her
throat as her warmth gushed around him.
With a low, savage growl, he increased his rhythm and was soon lost in
the throes of his own orgasm, filling her with his seed. Collapsing against her, Lance spared a
moment to roll onto his side, taking Amara with him perforce.

“That was…”

“Yeah.” Suddenly shy, he mentally berated Kitty for
turning him into a sap. Had to be
herluenluence. I never gave a good goddamn about chicks’ feelings before. Bitch.


“What’s
wrong with you?” Amara shifted and
pushed sweaty hair out of her face.
“You’re tight as a bowstring.”

“Just…thinking.”

“Hmmm.” About her. I don’t know if I like that… “What you said earlier, about
being jealous…I think we can use that to our advantage?”

“Hunh?” Lance was feeling the sleepy effects of
orgasm and his brain was not firing on all cylinders.

“Listen. If we can show them that we don’t care, that
we’re not even aware of their existence anymore, I think we can make them
jealous.”

“Amara…”
Lance was not sure if he liked the sound of that.

“Look. We’re always present in their lives, you
know? Always there, always hovering in
their subconscious. You don’t miss
something until it’s gone, and if we’re gone, and goneeacheach other…well?” She spread her hands in askance.

Lance
stared at her, narrowing his eyes in a manner that had made all of the
Brotherhood quail at one time or another.
Amara merely stared back. He
turned the pros and cons over in his mind and decided that, indeed, Amara could
be quite useful. “Sure. Why not.
Just don’t expect me to be all romantic and shit.”

“No
problem. Don’t expect me to be
all…Kitty.”

“Check
that.” Rolling off the bed and onto his
feet, Lance begin picking up his clothes and putting them on after a few false
starts with some of Amara’s things. “We
gonna get that tape or what?”

 

 

Last
night was strange. Amara stared
into her soggy cereal, feeling her stomach clench and release nothingness. The smell of Beast’s coffee had driven her into
the downstairs bathroom to empty the meager contents of her stomach earlier in
the morning and now, the cereal she usually ate look very unappealing. Notwithstanding that it was gowo awo and she
was still in her night clothes, or that Lance had just been snuck out of
the mansion a bare hour ago… After
finding the tape missing last night, Lance had gone into a quiet rage, his
fists bloodless so tightly were they clenched.
Amara had shook in muted terror, her face gone ivory under its olive
complexion. Someone around here has
the tape. Storm, Beast, the Professor,
Logan…Let’s see. It was there yesterday
after Logan and the Professor left, so that narrows it down to Storm and
Beast. Unless Kitty or Kurt…Nah. They’re too busy fucking like bunnies. Amara sloshed her spoon up and down in
the bowl, her stomach answering with a similar slosh. Ugh. Jubilee
bopped into the kitchen behind her, singing about the Discovery Channel[1]. “Would you shut the fuck up?” Amara’s voice was creaky with sickness and
just plain exhaustion—Lance had kept her up most of the night between his
fearful rage and his rampant lust—but she pitched it to be heard over Jubilee’s
music. The Asian girl flipped her off
and kept pulling sandwich ingredients from the fridge. Amara threw her bowl into the sink from
where she sat, the crockery shattering with a satisfying sound. Jubilee froze and turned on one heel to face
her.

“The Hell
are you doing?”

“SHUT
UP!” Amara rose shakily—the nausea was
not abating, thanks to the strange smells coming off of Jubilee’s lunch
choices.

“Lookee
here, Amara…” Jubilee rose to her full
height of barely-five-feet and got in Amara’s face. “Whew…you smell like ralph.[2] You been drinking?”

Amara
growled low in her throat, lunging for the smaller girl. “Can’t you just shut up?” Jubilee responded by blocking her lunge,
sending Amara sprawling. “Bitch!” Seizing her cup off of the table, she threw
it at Jubilee. The girl yelled an
invective at her in Chinese, hurling her plate at Amara. Dishes and curses flew, covering the sound
of Jamie slipping through the kitchen.
The combatants did not even notice when Rogue stormed past. Jubilee had run out of dishes and Amara had
run out of curses when the two finally stopped. “Clean this mess.” Amara
felt her gorge rising again and stumbled out of the room, not even bothering to
pick past the broken glass. Jubilee
muttered a few choice words under her breath and scooped as much broken pottery
as she could into the trash. Eying the
remains of her lunch ingredients, Jubilee sighed and decided that it could wait
until later. Grabbing her CD case, she headed into the rec room and set to
ignoring Remy and burning a new CD.[3]

 

Jamie had
looked everywhere for Kitty at least twice and had come up empty handed. He even banged himself into a wall, setting
his duplicates out in search of the girl.
Guess I have to tell Remy.
Hope he’s not mad…Jamie had no idea what had transpired between
Jubilee and Remy earlier; all he knew was that Remy kept muttering her name
while he stirred macaroni and cheese[4]
and Jubilee had gone up to her room to nap some hours ago. The older kids are weird. Hope I don’t go gaga like that when I get
old. Remy was staring covertly at Rogue who actually knew that he was
looking but just did not care, when Jamie approached him in the gym. Remy sat at the end of the weight bench, not
even in work out clothes so obvious were his intentions towards the Mississippi
girl. Jamie crept to him, wishing like
Hell that he could be invisible for just ten minutes. That girl in the
Fantastic Four gets to do it. Why don’t
I? Rogue is scary. I think she may bite. Remy saw him before Rogue did, immersed
as she was in her work on the light bag.
“Ah, mon ami! Qu’est-ce que tu
as pour moi?[5]”

“Er…I can’t,
um…I can’t find Kitty.”

“Eh?” Remy dropped the unlit cigarette he had been
fingering back into his pocket. “You
see Kurt ‘roun anywhere?”

“Um, no…” Rogue had stopped working out then and was
listening intently.

“They
probably snuck off for a quick fu…um, talk.”
Rogue shot a mildly annoyed glance at Jamie’s young ears and shrugged
off the conversation; her guilt over getting Kurt and Kitty caught out in the
first place was making her awfully touchy, Remy found.

“I be
tinkin’ no, chere. Dey tryin’ too hard to be good so dey kin see one another
when dis all blow over, oui? Why dey
jeopardize it by sneakin’ off?” Remy
stood, stretching languidly and turning red eyes to Rogue. “You wanna come lookin’? Real nice night out…romantic and all.”

A snort,
then she replied, “I got better things to do…’Sides, I’ve seen enough of them talking
to last me two lifetimes. Watch the
kid, huh?”

“I’m not a
kid! I’m…”

“Sure,
chere. Hey—meet me later pour dessert?” Remy’s raised eyebrow made Jamie think there
was more to this dessert than ice cream.
Rogue actually blushed and nodded, turning her attention to wailing the
tar out of the heavy bag now.

Jamie and Remy wound their way
through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the inside of the mansion, each
splitting off to find the couple. Jamie
ran into one of his multiples that startled him by vanishing before his
eyes. I hate it when they—I—do that. You’d think part of my mutation would be not
being afraid of that. Jamie looked
high and low all over again, straying further into the mansion whenever Remy’s
voice sounded too close. Eventually,
after an hour of looking, The two met up again in the kitchen. Remy was just sitting down at the kitchen
table with Rogue and Jamie could hear Jubilee slamming around the rec room,
complaining about not being able to find her other boot. “Uh, Remy?”

“Oui, mon capitain?” Remy sketched him a salute and flashed Rogue
a cavalier grin. “Find dem?”

“Nope. Um, what do we do?”

“About what?” Rogue’s accent seemed thicker, somehow. It made Jamie think of honey but the kind of
honey with sugar floating in it, too sweet by half.

“Not a thing, chere. Jamie and I jus’ ask Kitty pour some
tutoring on dese computer dat de Professor got. She said she show us tonight but I guess she and Kurt foun’ some
alone time, away from Storm, eh?” He
winked at Rogue and Jamie was almost shocked to see her blush again. “We try an’ find her later, eh Jamie?”

I can take a hint…too little to
play with the grownups, huh? Fine. Maybe Jubilee wants to play video games or
something…He snuck a glance at his closest friend and saw the glower settle
over her face as she sipped her coffee.
Or not. She’ll never get to
sleep drinking coffee this late…Oh, well.
I’ll just play alone, then. Jamie
said a weak-voiced goodnight and wandered off towards his room, narrowly
missing being mowed down by Amara on a mad dash to the bathroom. Wonder what’s up with her? Hope it isn’t catching…Behind him, he
could hear Jubilee’s cup hit the sink and some half-angry sounding comment
before she passed him on the stairs. Everyone
is in such a hurry. Wish I had longer
legs…I’ll never beat anyone up the stairs if I don’t grow soon. Rogue passed him now and he was learning
that to be near Rogue was to be in constant danger, not from her mutation, but
for his. She was very aggressive and
had knocked him down on accident more than once. Jamie debated going back down to see Remy, since it was obvious
now that the older mutant was alone, but the sounds of the Cajun doing the
dishes made Jamie march himself back up to his room once more. Last thing I want to do is the
dishes. I’m bored, but not that
bored. [6]

 

A loud, persistent ring at the
front door at half pastr inr in the morning woke the entire mansion. Storm reached the door first, unusually
composed despite the early hour. “Yes?”

“Please, I’m looking for Kurt
Wagner.” The woman on the steps seemed
more tired than the gathered mutants put together. Storm could see two suitcases and a handbag resting on the ground
before the steps and the woman looked travel-worn and very familiar to the
weather witch.

“He’s in bed.” Storm eyed her cautiously. “Excuse me, but it is a most unusual hour to
be receiving visitors here. May I ask
who you are, why do you want to see Kurt?”

“I’m his mother…”

 

 

 

A/N I know, I know…no Kurtty in this one. Well, next time, Kurtty deluge.
This is what’s called exposition.
Learn it, love it, make it yours.
J

 



 

 

 

 

 



[1]Blood Hound
Gang again. The Bad Touch. She keeps singing it in my head…

[2] Slang term
for vomit.

[3] Thus ends my
foray back into ch. 17

[4] Shameless plug.
Sidefling for this is Macaroni and Cheese.
There. I’m done now.

[5] What do you
have for me?

[6] See note
4. Really.