Need

Kurt pulled his emotions inward like he always did. This time it was more difficult, because he didn't have his usual source of comfort. In fact, the source of comfort was now his cause for torment. He'd never felt so alone since joining Xavier's house. He barely slept for any length of time and when he did, he was haunted by painful dreams filled with images of silky hair and soft eyes. The raw feelings that seemed to burrow into his chest manifested as gaping wounds in his dreams. He was empty, torn to pieces and left bleeding by his emotions. Kitty was out of reach.

His roommate, Sam, woke him on several occasions because he'd been moaning in German with only one understandable word. Katzchen. The younger man hadn't asked for an explanationn, but showed his concern. Kurt told him that he'd grown closer to Kitty during the break, but things hadn't worked and he'd ended up hurting her. Without words, Kitty and Kurt had seemed to be of an amentment to not interact with each other unless it was unavoidable. Unfortunately, as senior members of the house, it was often necessary.

Kurt dreaded their sessions in the Danger room above all else. They ran training simulations together with the younger students, manily because they both had an abundance of energy and because they both seemed to have an abundance of patience with the inexperienced students. When they worked together, Kitty was all business. She spoke to him directly and openly, but there was no hint of the relaxed, easiness with which they used to banter and joke. He was forced to stand next to her and not reach out to ruffle her hair like he used to. Or, even worse, they would need to demonstrate a new defensive move and he'd need to touch her.

One one such occasion, he'd been so distracted by her smell that she'd wiped the floor with him. He'd been unable to take his mind of the fragrance of peaches that clung to her skin. It wasn't her usual choice, but it suited her. A little too much for his comfort level, and he'd looked like an idiot being thrown around by the slight female. Worse, he looked unprofessional. Wolverine noticed and gave him a warning look, and he wasn't the only one.

"You wanted to see me Herr Professor?" He stepped into Xavier's office and approached the man who sat, as usual, in his chair, but seemed to dominate the room with his powerful presence.
"Have a seat, Kurt." The man's rich, deep voice was steady and comforting as a balm on the young German's nerves. He'd been jittery coming to the office, but despite the awesome power that he held in check, Charles Xavier was remarkably easy to talk to. He smiled at Kurt now. "I asked you here today to talk about how you've been feeling lately."
"I know I was a mess today in the Danger room, but I'm just having an off day."
"I don't think so, Kurt." Xavier said. "I respect the privacy of my students' thoughts, but their feelings are a little more difficult to avoid. You are a private man, and you generally keep your emotions in check, but for the past few weeks, you've been projecting so vividly that it's becoming difficult to avoid."
"I'm sorry, Professor." He said, feeling the heat of shame pour over him like lava. "I'll deal with it."
"Kurt, you're a remarkably strong man; emotionally, you're stronger than anyone your age has a right to be." He smiled gently. "But you need to ask for help sometimes and accept it when it's offered."
"Is it really that bad?" Kurt asked. "Am I making the psychics nervous?" He tried weakly to make a joke. The professor raised an eyebrow and gave him a significant look.
"Only the strong ones." He lowered his voice and rested his elbows on the desk in front of him. "I was observing in the danger room today, and your distraction was so acute that *I* started having rather uncomfortable thoughts about Kitty." At Kurt's horrified expression, he chuckled. "I've been living with teenagers for a long time, Kurt; nothing that has happened here with you is new."
"I'm sure it isn't." Kurt said, trying to absorb the image of Professor Xavier having arousing thoughts about his Katzchen.
"I only decided to talk to you about it today because I wanted you to think about how your actions might be affecting the environment around you." He paused. "And the people."
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my feelings." Kurt said.
"I can handle it, Son." Xavier said. "I know I may seem ancient to you now, but to coin a cliche, I was young once and had my share of infatuations." He smiled again. "But I'm afraid you may be a little counter productive with your attempts to deal with your feelings."
"What do you mean?"
"Kitty is leaving the school."