You Know Me

When Marie woke it was dark out and she was still alone. She frowned in the darkness and rose from the bed, still feeling remarkably sleepy, but was far more concerned about where Logan was. She drew on a robe and let herself out of her room and marched sleepily down the hall to his door. She knocked hard and leaned against the paneled wood, “Logan, what the hell?”

When he didn’t respond she opened the door and flipped the light switch, but his bed was empty and hadn’t been slept in. “What the hell is going on?” she grimaced as she went to the phone and dialed the Professor’s room.

“What’s wrong, Rogue?”

“Professor, do you have any idea where Logan is? He’s not in his room and he never came back to mine like he was supposed to!”

She could almost hear Professor Xavier’s mind racing. “I haven’t sent him on a mission, Rogue. If you’ll meet me at Cerebro, I’ll find him in short order.”

“Alright.”

Marie raced back to her room and quickly threw on the clothes that she had shucked earlier, too concerned for Logan to worry about appearances. When she reached the lair, the Professor was just opening the doors to Cerebro. “I am suspicious of his absence, Rogue. Though Logan does have a tendency to leave on a whim, he never leaves without letting us know about it.”

“I’m scared for him, Professor. He wouldn’t leave without letting me know.” Marie bit on her thumb nervously as she followed the Professor inside of Cerebro’s interior globe. “I’m sorry to bother you with this so late, but it’s not like him to not do what he says he’s going to.”

When the Professor removed the helmet only a moment later he turned to her with bemused smile. “It would seem that Logan is sound asleep in the library, Rogue. With there being no classes this week, it’s been relatively deserted and he has been sleeping there undisturbed for some hours.”

Marie couldn’t help feeling a tad annoyed that he’d actually gone into the library and fell asleep and more than a little foolish for having bothered the Professor over it, but she couldn’t ignore the huge sense of relief she felt. “Thank you, Professor. I’ll just go get him.”

“Rogue, may I speak to you candidly?” The Professor asked as he wheeled out into the hallway behind her.

The tone of his voice stopped her cold and she turned to face him. “What’s wrong?” She asked with a worried frown.

“There are a couple of things, actually. First, I’d like to say that I have been quite concerned over the possibility of your relationship with Logan progressing beyond the close friendship that the two of you have shared since you came to the school for some time now, as I sensed that there was more between the two of you than either of you would ever admit. However, I’d like to go on record as saying that I believe that I was wrong in this instance. When I read Logan just now, I picked up an incredible sense of calm that I’ve never felt from him. I also sense a great deal of happiness from you that I’ve never seen in you before. I’m happy that the two of you have resolved whatever issues were between you.”

Marie couldn’t help raising a surprised brow at the older man’s words. That was the last thing that she’d ever expected to hear from him. “Thank you. It’s very kind of you to say so.

“May I also say that I believe that’s why Logan has been sleeping so long in the library. This sense of calm has given him uninterrupted sleep for the first time in years. Ordinarily he suffers nightmares on a nightly basis.”

Marie nodded at this bit of information; oddly pleased to know that he was getting such benefits from their having come together. “What else did you want to say to me, Professor?”

“I think you know it’s about your Mother.” He stated quite calmly, as was his nature.

Upon thinking back over the years, she couldn’t recall ever seeing the Professor ever display any great emotion over anything. He dealt, it seemed, with everything that he encountered with equal stoicism and calm, only a slight change in the tone of his voice ever told of heightened emotions.

“Professor, I … you, of all people, understand how I feel about my Parents. I know you do, considering all of the conversations we’ve had about them. I understand your having to act with a certain responsibility when I was a minor, so no, I’m not angry about your having been in touch with my Mother.”

“I am, however, a bit upset with you over the way you treated her, Rogue.” He admitted rather frankly.

“Excuse me?” She gasped, shocked at hearing that this man was upset with her.

“Think about it, Rogue. Your Mother just lost her husband. In her grief she attempted to reconnect with the child that she has always loved a great deal, but had always been afraid to contact due to your Father’s feelings about your mutation. She’s completely heartbroken and you dismissed her without qualm. That’s not like you, Rogue. You’re one of the most caring teachers we have here. The students turn to you more often than any other teacher because they feel that you understand them. I’d like you to think very hard about mending your relationship with her. You both deserve more.”

Rogue was stunned at the Professors admonishment. He had commiserated with her on more than one occasion about her parents behavior before she left Meridian. “I can’t promise to do more than think about it, Professor. I mourned my relationship with my parents a long time ago.”

“I know that, but as you enter into your relationship with Logan, I want you to keep in mind how you feel about him and how your Mother felt about your Father. What would you do to keep the peace between you and Logan? Your Mother knew you were safe and knew where you were. I think she deserves a bit more consideration. You should probably also think about what may come of your relationship with Logan. In the event that you and Logan marry or have children, would you really want to do either of those things without her? I know how much you loved your Mother, Marie. Think about that before you make your decision.”

Rogue had to admit that she would go to great lengths to keep the peace between herself and Logan, but she couldn’t honestly say that she would be willing to sacrifice her relationship with her child, should she ever have one, for him. She didn’t want to think about the possibility of children either. The thought of her Mother not being there with her as she had always dreamed was more than she could bear. “I’ll think about it, Professor, that’s all I can promise you at this point. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go wake Logan and go back to bed.”

“Good Night, Rogue, sleep well.”

“Thank you, sir. Good night.”

Rogue could have happily gone on her merry way without having the Professor point out what he had. She was perfectly content resenting the hell of out both of her parents. It had become such a habit over the years that she hardly thought about it anymore. The dull ache that she felt over their reaction to her mutation had just become white noise in the background of her heart, and as such, something she hardly noticed, but it was always there. She had to admit that the Charles Xavier was likely right about her behavior and her Mother being deserving of a second chance, but she wasn’t certain that she was willing to face the heartache just yet.