In Fear of Three Little Words

Chapter 15


Kurt roared up in front of the mansion and squealed to a stop. Rogue and Kitty laughed with delight, climbing out of the blue SUV and leaning against the doors.

“Kurt, you’re a maniac,” Rogue stated.

“No, Kitty’s the maniac,” Kurt replied. “I just drive a little fast.”

But he couldn’t help it. His first training session since “it” had happened was scheduled right after school and he couldn’t help feeling both anxious and excited.

He’d gotten a few questions about his “accident” and he’d managed to make it through school without hiding in his locker though looking over his shoulder had been a frequent occurance. The Professor had assured him that Trask wouldn’t dare try something at a school so Kurt tried to believe. But Kitty and Rogue and all the others kept an eye on him, keeping in touch between classes just to give a sense of safety.

He had delivered tons of homework to every teacher, apologizing profusely. They had been as understanding as they were likely to be with them knowing he was a mutant, some being better than others. But in his opinion, the note from his counselor, Mrs Exline, was the only thing that kept him out of real trouble with his teachers. And to make it all look real via his new image inducer, the Professor had given him a cut over his eye and a busted lip along with a bruised cheek, all too close to the truth as far as Kurt was concerned.

And the new SUV definitely added a touch of realism, all his, a present from the Professor for all he’d been put through by Trask.

“So, you’re trainin’ today, huh?” Rogue asked as they headed into the house.

“Yeah, I’m a little nervous. I hope my ribs hold up.”

“Oh you’ll be fine,” Kitty stated. “Logan won’t go hard on you.”

“What makes you think so?” Kurt said, suspicious suddenly.

“Well, gah!” Rogue injected. “He’s gone all soft on ya, that’s why.”

Kurt stopped in his tracks and spun towards Rogue. “What?! What do you mean by that?”

“Look, you two went through a tough time together,” Rogue said with a shrug. “It just figures he’s gonna take it easy with ya. That’s all I meant. Don’t get all bent out of shape.”

Kurt let out a breath then saw Logan coming down the stairs.

“Just in time, elf. Suit up. It’s training time.” Logan’s eyes met his and saw his discomfort. “You not up for this yet?”

“No! No! I’m fine. I’m ready.”

The girls were staring at him with dubious expressions, their eyes rolling over toward Logan.

Logan patted him on the shoulder, a lingering touch that was only noticeable to Kurt, he hoped.

“Well don’t worry. We’re not aimin’ for anything hot and heavy. Just somethin’ to get your muscles and reflexes back in action. See ya in five in the Danger room.”

“Okay,” Kurt replied and watched Logan walk away, realizing he was enjoying the view way too much.

Nothing had happened between them to make him feel guilty. Nothing but a few moments now and then alone, a few caresses, a couple of long kisses. His heart pounded in his throat, making it hard to catch his breath.

“Kurt?” Rogue said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Kurt.”

“You’d better hurry or you’ll make Logan mad,” Kitty said. “And you don’t want to make Logan mad.”

“No,” Kurt said distractedly. “I wouldn’t want that.” Though the thought gave him a little thrill up his spine.

Kurt dropped off his books and suited up, making the Danger room in just over five minutes.

“I’m here,” Kurt shouted upon entering and saw Logan tapping his watch. But then a little smile crossed Logan’s mouth.

“Okay, elf. This is gonna seem slow to ya and pretty tame, but we don’t want to take any chances your first time back in action. I just want to see what you can do. See how those ribs hold up.....”

“And see how my nerves hold up?”

Logan reached out and touched his cheek, a quick caress that wouldn’t look too suspicious to most.

“Yeah. You’ll do fine. I know ya will.”

“Oh no pressure there. Thanks.”

Logan winked at him and left the room, a few moments later waving to him from the control room.

Kurt steadied his nerves and glanced up again to see the Professor and Scott watching also.

“I wasn’t expecting an audience today,” he muttered.

“Deal with it, kid,” Logan said through the intercom. “You’re a natural at this stuff. On my mark. Go!”

Kurt went to a crouch, scanning the room. He heard the lasers revving up, turning towards him in an almost lazy swing. He sprang as they shot out their beams, ducked and rolled as a metal claw reached for him. The floor slid out from under him and he teleported up to the window, made a face at all of them and “ported” again across the room. Everything happened at a contained pace and within five minutes Kurt had gotten bored.

“Logan, can’t you pick up the pace a little. I’m going to die of boredom down here soon. My heart rate hasn’t even increased.”

“You want me to increase your heart rate, brat?” Logan growled

“Uh, just a little maybe.”

Things started moving faster, more erratic. Kurt bounced all over the room, gasping and grabbing his ribs when he landed wrong from a “port” and fell more than a few feet to the metal floor. He rolled away from a claw’s reach just barely ahead of it and ducked a laser beam’s blast that nearly singed his hair. He held his ribs and “ported” again, breathing hard and wishing he hadn’t taunted Logan in front of the Professor and Scott.

When the room shut down, Kurt sat abruptly and laid back, breathing hard.

Logan was beside him in mere seconds, hands running over him. “Don’t move. You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just tired. I said...increase my heart rate.... Not...give me...a heart...attack.”

“I’m sorry, elf. I got carried away. Man, that was stupid!”

Kurt reached up and put a finger to Logan’s lips. “Enough. I’m fine. I was being a brat. You taught me a good lesson.”

“That’s not the kind of lessons I had in mind to teach you.”

“Hmmm,” Kurt said, hand running down Logan’s arm. “And I am an eager student.”

“Is he all right, Logan?” the Professor’s voice sounded through the intercom system.

Logan cleared his throat and helped Kurt to stand.

“Yeah, he’s just great. A little worn out, but fine.”

“Good job, Kurt,” the Professor said. “Be sure to take a warm shower to ease those muscles
though.”

“I will, Professor. Thank you.”

The Professor rolled out of sight and Scott with him. Logan put an arm over Kurt’s shoulders and headed out of the Danger room.

“How was your first day back at school?” Logan asked as they walked.

Kurt shrugged. “Oh, okay. I’m sure I’ll stop looking over my shoulder sometime.”

“Not anytime soon, elf. Keep watchin’ and keep a watch out on the others. We haven’t dealt with the problem of Trask yet.”

Kurt looked up into Logan’s eyes. “What are we waiting for? For him to grab someone else...or try for us again?”

Logan let out a sigh and Kurt felt Logan’s fingers playing with his hair. “You know the Doc. He’s always gotta try the diplomatic route first. He’s got a meeting with a mid-level government official tomorrow. I’m not expectin’ much to come of it.”

“Then what do we do?”

Logan stopped in the deserted hallway, lifted his fist off of Kurt’s shoulder and let his claws snick out. They gleamed as if they’d been polished.

Kurt reached up and put a finger to the flat side of one claw. “Does it hurt?”

“What?” Logan asked, the claws snicking back into place.

“The claws going in and out of your hand like that. Does it hurt?”

Looking at the back is his hand, Logan said, “I guess some people would call it pain. I just have a real high tolerance for the stuff.”

“And you didn’t want this done to you, right?”

Logan cleared his throat again. “Nobody asked my permission, if that’s what you mean.”

Kurt shook his head. “That’s not right. Why do people think they have the right to do things to people, tble ble things, things they don’t want done to them?”

Logan hugged him around the shoulders. “I don’t know, kid.”

“I think the Professor knows more about me than he’s told me. I know Mystique is my mother. Not even the Professor denies it anymore. But I don’t know who my father is and I don’t know why I look like I do.”

Logan leaned back against the wall, drawing Kurt with him. “You’re right, Mystique is your mother.”

Kurt looked up at Logan.

“And there’s something else you’re old enough to know. Magneto messed with you DNA when you were a baby. I saw the place...just before it blew up in my face.”

“That castle in Rogue’s dream.”

Logan nodded.

“And you knew it was Magneto.”

Logan nodded again.

“But you didn’t tell me. You or the Professor.”

“I’m tellin’ ya now. Before, we thought you were too young. But you’re not a kid anymore. You have the right to know.”

Kurt swallowed down a sense of betrayal, but at the same time understood why the information had been kept from him.

“How much did Magneto do to make me what I am now?”

“We don’t know. Mystique decided to keep her mouth shut after she tried to talk to you that one time. I think she was afraid of what Magneto would do to her. He obviously didn’t want you to know.”

Kurt shook his head and leaned into Logan. “I think my brain is on overload.”

Logan lifted Kurt’s chin up and kissed him. Logan’s mouth opened and Kurt responded. Their tongues touched and sparked fire down to his loins. He moaned and felt Logan’s hand at the back of his head, holding him tight.

They heard footsteps echoing down one of the halls and broke apart.

“Damn,” Logan hissed. “This is a dangerous place to try to be discreet. You better go on up and let Hank check your ribs.”

“I’m fine.”

“Do as I say, brat.”

“Walk with me.” They walked while Logan pried out of him the details of his day. “That new Honda, you likin’ it?” Logan asked as they entered the main entryway.

“I love it! It drives great.”

“Maybe when we get things taken care of with Trask, we can take it for a little spin just you and me.”

“I’d like that,” Kurt replied, feeling a little shy.

“Kurt,” Jamie yelled from the top of the stairs. He came racing down, almost tumbling while juggling a brown wrapped package. He caught himself quite literally and met them at the base of the steps.

Logan just shook his head and groaned.

“Kurt, a package came for you.”

Kurt took it from Jamie’s hands and looked it over. It was address to Mr. Kurt Wagner, Xavier Inute,ute, Bayville, NY.

“I thought it might have been from your parents, but there’s no postmark from Germany,” Jamie stated.

“There’s no return address at all,” Kurt mused, frowning.

“You order something?” Jamie asked, eager to know. “A new CD or DVD?”

Logan took it from Kurt’s hands, listened to it, sniffed it and let out a low growl. “We’ll check this out in your room.”

“What is it?” Kurt asked. But Logan had him by the arm, propelling him up the stairs.

“Thanks, Jamie,” he threw behind him and saw disappointment on the boy’s face.

“Logan, what is it? You wonder when you scare me. Well, you’re scaring me now.”

“Sorry, but if this is from who I think it is, you don’t want Jamie or anyone else seein’ it.”

A cold chill ran down Kurt’s back. He fumbled with his door and let them in, closing it behind and locking it. Normally, he’d have been thrilled to be alone with Logan, but the look on the man’s face was grim...dangerous even.

They sat on Kurt’s bed and Logan used his claws to open the package, slicing the tape and wrapping. Inside bubblewrap was a silver disc. Kurt picked it up as if it would bite him and held it up.

“So, DVD?” Logan asked

“Yes,” Kurt replied breathlessly. He checked the box for more, but nothing else presented itself and nothing was written on the disc.

“You got a player in here?” Logan asked.

“Yes. But I’m not sure I want to know what’s on there.”
ttertter us than someone else findin’ out. Fire up the player. I think I’ll pass on the popcorn though.”

Kurt took a shaky breath and let it out, trying to calm himself. He turned the monitor on and the player then inserted the disc. Gathering the remote, he settled back on the bed beside Logan. He stared at the blank screen until Logan reached over and took the remote from him.

At first, there was blank screen then a laboratory setting appeared, the image focusing downward on Kurt lying on a table, bound while techs moved around him with needles and scalpels and tubes.

“Oh god,” Kurt choked out and turned his face towards Logan’s shoulder. Logan reached around and pulled him close into the fold of his arm.

The screen split and there was Logan also bound to a table, same type techs with all the familiar accouterments.

“Son-of-a-bitch,” Logan growled.

“Turn it off, Logan,” Kurt begged.

“No, I want to see how much of this that bastard recorded. If you don’t want to watch, you don’t have to, elf. I won’t make you, but he addressed it to you for some reason.”

“Because he’s evil.”

“Yeah, that might be the only reason. But I want to make sure.”

Kurt swallowed down his revulsion and watched the scene change. He watched the split screen showing their simultaneous tortures. This time each was thrown into a tank of water, wrists and ankles bound, then the tank filling until no air was left.

Kurt clung to Logan, holding on as if they’d suddenly find themselves back in Trask’s laboratory, suffering again these horrors.

The tortures continued, clipped to quick scenarios, not the hours that they were really endured. Until the finale came, showing Logan put into that room unconscious, waking and pacing and waiting. Then the door opened and Kurt was shoved in.

He watched the screen like a witness to a bad accident, the injection and Logan stalking him. Together they watched the rape while Logan stroked Kurt’s hair with the gentlest of touches.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Logan whispered without looking at Kurt. “I don’t...” Logan’s voice
choked off and Kurt knew this tough hard man was crying. “I don’t even remember all of it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt said soothingly. “It’s not your fault. Please, let’s turn it off.”

But Logan couldn’t seem to tear his focus away and the scene went on, every last second of their ordeal ticking off moment by moment, pain by pain, touch by touch. Their sexual intercourse played out in all its sordid details, not a moment cut and Kurt felt sick that others watched him and Logan in such intimate embrace. His throat hurt like it was tied in a knot, keeping sobs from escaping. He didn’t know how to comfort Logan and wanted desperately to do so.

Finally, the last few moments played out until Kurt teleported them away. The room disappeared and there was Tr sni snide with his self-righteousness.

“Well,” the man said. “If you’re hearing this, then you’ve watched the disc, little demon. And I can confidently assume Logan is watching as well. I have only a few things to say. So I’ll get to the point. First, you think you’ve escaped me, don’t you? Well, think again. It’s not over.” Trask pointed a finger at them as if he was in the room. “And don’t think your Professor Xavier can stop me with his attempts at political assassination. Right is on my side and I will give our government a way to control mutants or a way to wipe you all off the face of this earth. You don’t scare me, Logan. Go ahead and make your threats. I still intend to make you watch while I send your little blue boyfriend back to hell where he came from.” Trask’s righteous contortion cleared from his face, but his sneer remained. “And, you never know where the more provocative scenes just might end up. What would your parents think, Mr. Wagner? What about your little friends at the Institute?”

The screen went blank. Logan sat beside Kurt, the tension in his muscles a warning of what was to come. Rage seethed just under the surface worrying Kurt that he might end up in the way of it if he wasn’t careful. He’d seen Logan in that kind of rage and he’d pit it against any number of machines or soldiers or anything else Trask thought to throw at them.

Logan’s arm around Kurt was like a vice, fist clenching and unclenching. A low rumble of a snarl started up and Logan shoved up, inadvertently pushing Kurt off the bed. He caught himself and landed on his feet. Kurt watched Logan stalk across the room, shoulders hunched. His claws shot out and with a roar, Logan drove one set then the other into the wall, ripping two long crevices, plaster flying. Kurt dodged flying debris and debated the wisdom of trying to talk Logan out of his fury.

Kurt’s anger lay dormant in the face of Logan’s primal rage. A deep penetrating coldness wrapped around his heart at the thought of others seeing what was on that disc. And Trask had spoken plainly enough. He wouldn’t hesitate distributing those select scenes of him and Logan. Kurt closed his eyes, imagining his parents seeing him like that. Nausea rolled through his stomach and that, even more than Trask’s threats on his life, left him feeling bereft of any hope, helpless again against such power.

Logan turned, eyes blazing, claws out, and for one awful moment, Kurt felt the terror he’d felt just before he’d been raped.

“Logan,” he said, swallowing down a hard lump in his throat. Kurt stepped forward instead of away. Then a banging at the door sounded, making him jump.

“Kurt! What the heck is going on in there?” Scott demanded. “Open the door now!”

Logan stalked to the door and jerked it open, the lock giving and shattering. “It’s none of your friggin’ business what’s goin’ on in here,” Logan growled. “So back off, bub!” He slammed the door in Scott’s face, breath so ragged, Kurt feared Logan would pass out.

Kurt put out a placating hand, but Logan stalked across the room and drove his claws once again into the wall with another mind-numbing roar.

“I’ll be right back,” Kurt said, unsure if Logan even heard him. He teleported into the hall where a crowd had gathered. Scott looked like he was about to blast the door down. That nausea rolled through Kurt once more. He didn’t know what to say to these people, but they stared at him as if he was an oracle of knowledge.

“Kurt! What is going on in there? Are you okay?” Scott asked.

“I’m...fine. Logan won’t hurt me.” Jean caught his eye and her expression turned skeptical. “He’s...just...upset. And so am I. So please do as he says and back off. I’ll deal with Logan.”

“That’s not how we do things around here,” Scott said in an annoying take charge tone.

Kurt’s last nerve snapped. “That’s how we’re doing it this time. So Back Off!”

“Everyone,” the Professor’s voice sounded behind them. “Do as Kurt asks.”

“But Professor,” Scott began.

“Please, Scott. This is a personal matter.”

“Well, it seems more like a team matter to me,” Scott muttered and stalked off down the hallway. The others slowly scattered, all except Jean, while inside Kurt’s room, Logan sounded like he was destroying the furniture.

“Kurt?” the Professor said. “Something has happened?”

He nodded. His throat was tight, aching with suppressed emotion. “Let me go calm him down.”

“Can you?” The Professor raised one eyebrow.

“Yes, I think I can.”

“I’ll be right here.”

Kurt said nothing and teleported back into his room.
e fae far wall was a cris-cross of destroyed plaster and wood. Logan turned and his eyes were still filled with that unspent rage, his claws fully extended and menacing. His breath came hard and what Kurt sensed was that same helplessness he felt.

“Logan,” he said, slowly walking forward. “You need to calm down. Please. I need you to calm down. I can’t deal with this alone. I can’t....” A sob escaped him and Kurt bit his lip hard, trying to quell the unwanted tears. But his heart hurt and his soul ached for peace and he needed Logan’s strength to help him through this horror.

A low growl came out of Logan and in a few steps, Logan was inches from him. Kurt looked up with tears finally falling. Clawed fists came up between them, a scant inch from his face, but Kurt refused to flinch. The fire of fury slowly eased from Logan’s dark eyes and the claws slid back into place.

Logan’s fists opened, hands cupping Kurt’s face, thumbs wiping away the tears. Gentle fingers moved through Kurt’s hair and pulled him closer. Logan’s mouth descended on his in a desperate kiss, needy, wanting. For a moment, Kurt couldn’t resist, his own need for comfort demanding a response from him.

Then he remembered. “Logan,” he said breathlessly against Logan’s mouth. He tried to pull back, but Logan’s grip in his hair held him immobile. “Logan!” he said, more forcefully, managing to turn enough to speak. “The Professor is right outside...the door...waiting. Listen to me, please.”

Kurt got his hands on Logan’s shoulders and pushed with a firm, gentle touch.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his forehead against Kurt’s, sucking in breath after ragged breath. Kurt stroked Logan’s arm, feeling the muscles quiver with strain.

“Relax,” Kurt whispered. “That’s it. We’re going to get through this.”

“I don’t deserve you, elf,” Logan said through gritted teeth.

“Well, you’ve got me anyway. So, you’ll have to put up with that.”

Kurt’s attempt at humor actually registered on Logan. Kurt gave him a hard pressed smile and Logan gave him back the slightest of grins.

“Sit down,” Kurt said, giving Logan a gentle push. “The Professor wants to know what’s going on, but I can’t let him in here with you acting like a madman.”

“Let him in,” Logan said. “I’m surprised it took him so long to get up here.”

Kurt smoothed Logan’s hair and touched his cheek with a finger. He went then and opened the door. The Professor was alone.

“Please come in, Professor,” Kurt said, standing aside. “I’m afraid my room is in a bit of a mess at the moment.”

“I see.” The Professor rolled in, looked over at the damage to the far wall, lips pressing together in obvious consternation. He stopped near Logan and cocked his head. Kurt followed and sat on the bed next to Logan. “I would have been up earlier...maybe before your room was rearranged, Kurt, but I was in a parent conference with Bobby’s mother. Something serious has happened I tat. t. Something to do with a package with no return address.”

“Yeah, something serious,” Logan said. “A DVD of our stay in Hotel Frankenstein. Trask went out of his way to catch every last sordid detail.” Logan’s claws shot out. “I’m takin’ him out, Charles. That’s it. Trask is goin’ down now.”

“Logan, listen to me,” the Professor said. “I know you’re upset. I understand your anger----”

Logan shot to his feet and paced a few feet away, still brandishing his claws. “He threatened the elf’s life! He’s scum and he’s a threat to all of us.”

“Logan. The meeting I have tomorrow is with a government official much higher up than I indicated earlier. I think she can help eliminate Trask as a threat to us.”

“He’ll be a threat until he’s dead,” Logan snapped back.

“A solution of that sort is only a last resort,” the Professor stated.

Kurt listened to the exchange with his head in his hands, that feeling of helplessness rolling over and over inside of him. The two men he admired most, outside of his father, faced each other with conflicting ideas on how to handle this problem. He feared for Logan’s life if Logan decided to go after Trask alone. But he also feared that the Professor underestimated the and and hatred that motivated people like Trask.

“Trask threatened to distribute some of the footage on the disc,” Kurt said when there was a moment of silence in the argument. His voice sounded dull to his ears, despondant. “He threatened to...send it to my parents...and the other students here.”

Professor Xavier let out a long sigh. Kurt raised his head and gazed at the Professor.

“How long would you have us wait for diplomacy to work?” Kurt asked. “Until Logan and I are unable to face our own team mates with this humiliation hanging over us? Till my parents are dragged into this and I can no longer face them either? How long, Professor? That’s all I want to know.”

“Give me till tomorrow, Kurt and I’ll know where we stand,” the Professor said. “If nothing else, we will shut down Trask’s facility. We will find and destroy his data. We may have to anyway to head off a retaliatory strike on Trask’s part if I succeed tomorrow. I will personally call your parents and warn them off any packages that come to them and for now, all in-coming mail to the Institute will be routed through Ororo. I will tell the others.”

“They will be suspicious,” Kurt said, but already felt relieved.

“I hate to tell you this, elf,” Logan said, sitting again next to Kurt and putting an arm around him.
“They already are.”

Kurt leaned his head against Logan’s shoulder and caught a concerned look from the Professor.

“Now,” the Professor said. “May I see the disc?”

Kurt looked to Logan with fear, but Logan nodded.

“Just a bit of it, Kurt,” the Professor said. “I think I know a way to increase our chances of success in my meeting tomorrow.”