Wicked Game

disclaimer: don't own the x-men


note: all mistakes you may find are mine *s* (watch the tenses ...)

enjoy! (ok I know, 'where's the smut?' ... trust me, there will be some of that too ... eventually *grins*)


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Rogue tried to ignore Logan’s voice, but it was hard, it was hard to ignore a man like that. And worse, this was his place, his bathroom and if anyone was going to leave it had to be her. She hated herself for letting go, she hated it because it usually meant she’d be even deeper off later on. The sound of water running did nothing to soothe her emotions. Fuck.

When she turned around she came face to face with Logan. He hadn’t put on any clothes, he only wore jammies, no shirt, and was barefoot. For a moment they stood there, staring at each other. She was the one that broke the gaze first, and turned her back on him. Rogue pressed her hands against the chest, she could feel the numbness growing, feeding on her, and it hurt like a burn scar.

“Don’t do this, Logan …”

He grabbed her swiftly by the shoulders, tried to get her to face him again. Struggling, she knew he was strong and a skilled fighter, and that he had the upper hand, but she didn’t want to use the power on him. Wrestling Logan seemed pointless in that aspect. Rogue barely had time to take the next breath before he’d picked her up and thrown her into the streaming shower. She gasped and screamed.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”

Logan joined her, but didn’t bother about the shower. He was angry, Rogue could see it in his eyes and the way he pursed his lips. Determined and angry – he was so beautiful, standing there, soaking wet and half naked.

The water had drenched her satin robe, it clung to her, exposed every curve of her body. Embarrassed she tried to turn her back on him again, but he was fast and gave her no time to react. Logan grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the wall. The anger had faded from his face and Rogue tried franticly to think of something to say – a hard enough task as it was. She was all too aware of him, and the feel of the wet robe plastered to her body like a second skin. Having water stream down her face didn’t exactly make her feel any better, or more secure.

“Are you quite done?” Logan asked, biting of each word, while he arched an inquiring eyebrow at her. He released her wrists and placed both of his hands against the wall, on either side of her head, sort of trapping her.

Rogue crossed her arms but realized the whole thing just emphasized her bosom. Wet, cold fabric and nipples just wasn’t the combination she was looking for at that moment. Smiling sweetly at him she said, “You’re in mah way, Wolverine.”

He frowned slightly. “Then tell me once more to leave, and I will”, he replied, and leaned into her with something close to a smirk on his face, “see, ye can’t say it, darlin’.”

“Well, we’re not the only ones caught up in this … whatevah it is”, she exclaimed, and tried to shield her breasts.

“Right now we are.” Logan twirled a wet, stray lock of her hair around a finger.

“But … it won’t last, damn you Logan, don’t ya understand?”, she said, a bit breathlessly, while trying to keep the anger and frustration out of the voice. “If you … if Ah give into this, and you, I … Ah don’t know … ya know, Ah don’t think Ah’ll survive the next time.”

“Hush …” He murmured and kissed her, nipped gently at her lower lip.

“But …”

“No talking, sweetheart, remember that my senses aren’t what yours are …” He brushed her neck with his lips, and licked the water from her skin, all in one slow motion. It left a fiery trace on her, like a mark.

“No … don’t touch me … ya don’t … wanna … do … that …”, she breathed.

“Don’t lie … ye’re lying, Rogue, I can tell, baby”, Logan mumbled hoarsely against her neck.

No. “This is torture, fuckin’ torture. Damn ya, Logan for doin’ … this, damn you.” Rogue grabbed two handfuls of his hair, forced him to look at her. His face gave away nothing, there was a calmness to it that made her even angrier. He looked so composed, but she could see the flames in his eyes that wanted to burn her to ashes. “You’ll be the end of me, don’t ya get it? Ah can’t have you, and you didn’t choose me when you had the chance. Instead you took off, and if you think I’ll be waiting patiently the next time you do that, then g –“

Rogue suddenly found Logan pressing his mouth to hers. He had her silenced effectively by deep throat kissing her. It was hard and something furious about it as he promptly invaded her mouth with lips and tongue and all. She made a sound in her throat, part of it out of anguish, a part of her that shrank rapidly the more she could taste him, and felt the lines of that body against hers. This was madness. Insane. Unreal. She’d never really imagined herself in a situation like this with him, she hadn’t allowed herself to, at most she’d thought about kissing Logan. He was several years older than her, too old if Kitty and Jubilee had anything to say about the matter. They weren’t too fond of her friendship with Logan in the first place. It didn’t matter that she’d told them numerous times that he was more like a very good friend, or like an older brother, sort of. But this … Stop it, Rogue, stop it and you’ll be okay. This was all too weird, to have Logan all over her, french kissing her. He seemed to want what he was doing. Then it dawned on her slowly, he shouldn’t be able to kiss her like that at all, he should be lying in a breathless heap on the floor. But he’s not, Rogue, and you know why. No, it couldn’t be that, she wanted it to be true but was scared of even thinking about the possibilities of gaining control over her gift.

“You still want me to leave?” he said finally with a voice that was thick of lust. His eyes had darkened too.

Rogue stared at him, still breathless from the kiss he’d just withdrawn from. She wanted to be angry at him, she wanted to hurt him for what he’d done. For being Logan. For being Wolverine. For being her friend. For being all that you want. Damn him.

“Ah want to hate you, but Ah can’t, Ah just can’t.”

“But why, Rogue?”

“Because it would spare me a lot of things if Ah could.”

Logan shook his head. “How? I don’t get it, or you. Please explain cos I’m out of ideas.”

“Don’t ya know by now? I thought having the Wolverine in you meant something, or haven’t you wondered why I still haven’t given this back to you?” Rogue said, not being able to keep the hurt out of her voice. She grabbed the chain around her neck, unfastened it and threw it at him. “Ah guess Ah was the fool then.”

Pushing past Logan, she didn’t wait for him to respond as she hurried for the door without slipping on the wet floor. The humiliation and disappointment burned in her eyes and throat, it wanted her crushed into a million little pieces. Damn him, damn him all the way to that damned Alkali Lake. Her fingers trembled as she tried to unlock the door. The wheelchair she didn’t care about, Ororo or someone else could pick it up later. This was it, she wanted to be as far away from the mansion as possible. There had to be people that could care about her, really care about what she was. There just had to be.

Rogue finally managed to unlock the door, her whole body shivered, she was wet and cold and a complete mess, crying and so angry that –

Someone grabbed her arms, and she knew it was Logan. Of course it was him, she thought.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” he growled, and tightened his grip on her.

“Get off me, Logan”, she said slowly, while she struggled to free herself. She fought the urge to release the power, and sank her teeth in him instead.

Logan jerked away, and stared angrily at the nearly perfect set of teeth marks on his right arm.

“What the fuck was that for?!” he exclaimed, and glowered at her.

Rogue gave a laugh, but it came out bitter. “Aren’t ya just full of yourself, I mean WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WHAT?!”

Logan snatched her hand and put something in the palm of it. He made a face, close to a snarl.

“Haven’t someone ever taught you that it’s rude to return a gift? Huh?”

“Gift? Gift?! This wasn’t a gift. You gave it to me,” she shouted, dangled the chain in front of him, “just to keep me quiet, didn’t ya? You know why these are called dog tags don’t ya? You wanted to claim me with it and still send me away, to get rid of your so called ‘problems’. Yeah, that sounds like something the mighty Wolverine would do. What a fuckin’ joke y ...” Her voice failed her, she was cracking up and had no way of hiding it.

He shrugged tiredly, but was still seemingly angry. “Have it your way, Rogue, just tell me why the hell you’re acting like this.”

“You really are something else. Who are you trying to fool? Ya don’t care about me.” She fell silent for a few seconds, she knew she was crying but didn’t bother to hide that fact from him. He should see me like this, maybe he’ll understand then, she thought.

“Shut up, you know damn well I … I do care. Christ, Rogue, in how many other ways do I have to tell ye?”

“Remember how you said you would take care of me? That you promised to?” She was throwing his words back at him, and they hurt, she knew that, because it came back twofold to her. She felt sick.

“Yes, I remember …”, he said suspiciously.

“Then let me quote you, Logan, your own words”, she continued weakly, god it hurt more than anything she’d ever been through. “’Well, you tell her mah heart belongs to someone else.’”

He didn’t say anything, but his facial expression changed from angry to something between that and weary. He broke away from her accusatory gaze.

“That was answer enough … so I’m gonna ask ya one last time, Logan. What do you want? Because Ah really don’t think Ah can bare this any longer.”

“I want to be your friend, because I do care about ye, and I have ever since I found you hiding out in my trailer”, he said softly, yet cautiously.

“Friend?” she asked matter-of-factly.

“Yes …”

“You bastard … and after everything I’ve told you, and to think Ah let you kiss me. Damn you, Logan, for doin’ this to me.”

“Rogue …”

She slapped him as hard as she could, but didn’t feel any satisfaction, and he barely jerked his head when her hand struck him.

“Everyone keeps saying what a brave and dangerous man you are Logan, and still you sent Jean to tell me you didn’t want me, Jean of all people – you know Ah’m not her favorite – instead of telling me yourself, very courageous Ah must say, and then you were planning on taking off without even saying goodbye”, she said, felt nothing but despair and humiliation, “And you have the guts to accuse me of being cruel to you? What a fuckin’ coward you are, Logan.”

She felt her eyes sting and chest burn as she turned around and began to walk away down the corridor. She wanted to die, but knew he wouldn’t let her get away that easily. Not feeling the slightest bit surprised, she was kind of ready when Logan threw himself at her, and wrestled her on the floor. Kicking and screaming, she tried to fight him with everything she had except the power, but he was so strong and not to mention heavier than her. In a couple of seconds he had her pinned to the floor, and hovered just above her face.

“I’ve just about had it with ye, kid. Don’t make me do something I’ll really regret”, he growled and kissed her, forced his tongue inside her mouth and pinned her hands above her head. “You call me a blind stupid fool, but then you haven’t really been paying attention, sweetheart, if you don’t get it by now that I want –“

“What do ya want then? How could ya make her tell me you didn’t care about me? Why didn’t you come to me yourself, you could’ve spared me so much grief, Logan.” Rogue breathed, and felt tears run down her face. She didn’t struggle to break free, instead she met his gaze, forced herself to look into his eyes, and caught her own tiny reflection in them.

“To see you smile, as corny as it may sound, I wanna see ye smile again. No more tears, okay?”

“Is that all?” Kiss me.

“Sweetheart, if you truly knew how powerful you are … Christ, Rogue, ye’re so god damn beautiful, and you’re not a child, if that’s what you think I think of you. Ye’re far from that”, he said quietly.

I want you to kiss me. She looked away. No. “No, don’t say that … don’t tell me lies … don’t … your heart’s not here, is it? Ah won’t be used …again …” Tears were still streaming down her face, she couldn’t stop crying, it was just too much.

“Damn it, Rogue, ye really are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. Ye know, ye’re makin’ it real hard for a man to think of compliments that would make ye satisfied, hell any kind of compliment! And I would never take advantage of you, you know that.” His face mellowed and he gave a low, soft laugh.

“Ah have to be, you know that … and you still haven’t answered mah question …”

Logan lowered his face so he was close enough to whisper in her ear. The heat from his breath spread across her skin like blistering oil, it stuck to her, made something deep inside her clasp. The feeling ran like water through her, down the spine, and flowed through her stomach, her thighs, in one rush – part pleasure, part pain. Logan whispered to her, told her things, as he ran a hand down the side of her body, and further down her left leg. Rogue couldn’t help but retract it as he smoothed her thigh, and held it firmly yet carefully. His hand felt fire.

He wiped away the tears with his thumb. She grabbed a handful of his hair with her one free hand, forcing him to face her. He was so gorgeous – soaking wet and half naked, Logan was the most attractive man she’d ever seen. And she wanted him. She’d wanted him for so long it seemed like forever. He was everything she’d ever wanted. Everything but hers.

“But I thought ye couldn’t stand me”, he said, and grinned down at her.

Rogue frowned. “Ah said that out loud just now?” she said, disbelief in her voice, as she let go of his hair. Her cheeks were burning.

“Said what?” He was still grinning, and slightly arched his eyebrows in a mischievous way. Oh he was amused, alright.

“Same thing you said to me before … part of it … kinda’ … ” She felt sort of … awkward … with Logan on top of her like that. “You know, Ah’m flashing an awful lot of leg right now …”

Logan kept stroking her thigh. “I guess you are … short nightie, huh?”

“Don’t start …”

“I like short nighties”, he said and kissed her.

Rogue ran her hands down his back, and felt the power wanting to break free through her shields. Please don’t let me hurt him, please, please let me keep him for just a little while. When she kissed Logan it made her unaware of everything else but that, and him. Somewhere she knew they were lying on the hallway floor, for anyone to see. Someone had yelled at them earlier, told them to shut up and keep things down. It was still very early in the morning, but sooner or later they definitely would have an audience. Tomorrow everything would be different.

Logan withdrew from the kiss, and cupped her face. “Rogue, baby, what’s the matter?”

“This is a dream. This isn’t real, you don’t want this, you don’t want me, you want her”, she whispered and covered her face.

“No, why do ye keep saying that? This is a dream, fine, if you want it to be then it is, but it’s also real,” he said, determinedly, and got up on his feet and scooped her up in his arms, “it’s all real, sweetheart.”

Rogue couldn’t think of anything to say, she wanted to protest but was all out of words. She rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her back to the room.