Galatea

GALATEA CHAPTER THIRTEEN (NC-17)
Disclaimers Apply

A/N Goddess Foxfeather, Queen of Mad Plotbunnies, BUSIEST WOMAN ALIVE (tm), Prophetic Muse, Hamster Witch and Uberbeta...003 seems to be roosting outside my window.... InterNutter, TC, Maxwell Pink and Dracena get muse Oreos for archiving/hosting. :) ProPhile gets belly dancing smut muses and Morgan gets jingling things. Readers/Reviewers: Yep, CyberEm, it's La Boheme. Scary, no? And everyone else: *GLOMP *

The night was tense, to say the least. It seemed the entire female contingent of the Institute was sequestered in the new rec room in the basement, little used and still smelling of sawdust. It seemed the old rec room was more conducive to recreation but this new one had a severe advantage: no males. "Stupid movie night," Jubilee muttered, stabbing her pint of sherbet savagely.
"Belladonna up there?"
Jubilee glared at Rogue. "No. She said she had stuff to do... Remy seemed ticked."
Kitty sighed and curled into a fetal position on the sofa, staring blankly at the blue screen of the televisio"Wha"What're we watching again?"
"Does it matter?" Jean responded. "I'm not in a mood for movies..."
"Do you think," Rahne said suddenly, pulling on a lock of her curly brown hair, "Jamie might like it if I went blonde?"
"God, no!" Jubilee said loudly.
"Did he say that?" Kitty asked, raising a brow.
"No," Rahne sighed, but..."
"But what?" Theresa sat up from her spot on the floor, brushing carpet fuzz from her hair. "If a guy tells you to change for him, tell him to suck his own..."
"Theresa," Jean quelled, but smirked. "I think we all feel the same way." She shifted around in the new armchair and fixed Kitty with a "look." "So what did Kurt finally say?"
"Nothing," she responded glumly. "Not one word. He's been hiding or something."
"Hmmm..." Jean shifted her attention to Amara. "How's the tongue."
"Bether." She winced and frowned. "When thit thupposed to sthop thwelling?"
"Any time now," Jean sighed. "We all need to do something to cheer ourselves up..."
Kitty sighed again and checked her watch. "I wish I was still babysitting..." Tabby and Wanda had changed plans at the last minute and Lucas did not need supervision after all. "Maybe we could go into town?"
"Saturday night in Bayville," Rogue drawled. "Be still my beating heart."
"Well," Kitty said, struggling to sit up, "maybe we can go to the...um..."
"Yeah, exactly," Rogue sighed.
"Hey, want to take a quiz?"
They all turned to pin Rahne with a bemused gaze. "Pardon?" Jean finally asked.
Rahne waved Theresa's copy of Galatea: The Magazine for the Perfect Woman1 above her head. "Quiz. Something normal girls do at slumberparties..."2
Paige rolled her eyes, uncoiling from around a purloined pillow, stolen from Jono's bed when he was not paying attention. "Does this mean we have to braid each other's hair and have a pillow fight in skimpy lingerie, too?"
"I think you have reality confused with Maxim3," Rogue snorted.
"Okay, shut up," Rahne said loudly, vaguely amazed when everyone did fall silent. "First question, sex..."
"I'm good," Jean shrugged. "Just don't have any time..."
Kitty sighed. "Well..."
"We know," Rogue groaned. "We all know..."
Kitty blushed furiously. "We're discreet!"
"Kitty," Paige snickered, "you two are as discreet as neon lights."
"Shaddup," Kitty groused, flinging a throw pillow across the room at her.
The quiz proceeded through a variety of asinine and inane questions, none of which had any basis in scientific theory or fact. Finally, Rahne called for scrap paper and a pencil to figure the scores. Implements were procured from who knew where and she bent over, scribbling hastily. "Well, who wants to hear their's first?"
Jean raised her hand. "Oh, I guess me."
Rahne smirked. "You need to open up more and be less frigid in bed."
"I'm not frigid!"
"Kitty," Rahne continued, "you need to curb your impulsive nature and think twice before speaking. Also, you should pay more attention to your partner's needs and try not to be so controlling."
"Ouch." Kitty frowned. "That's..."
"A little close to home?" Paige suggested dryly.
"And you," Rahne pounced, "need to back off. You come on too strong!"
"Ha!"
"Same goes for you, Theresa."
Paige uttered a tiny "ha!" as Rahne pressed onward. "Amara, you need to open up a lot more and stop holding people at arm's length. And try to be less bossy." Amara's tongue prevented her from any scathing comments, but her look could peel paint off a battleship. "And...Rogue! Mind your own beeswax."
"Pardon me?" she asked sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hey, don't blame me, blame the quiz. I just read it, I don't make it up. According to this, it says you're too nosy and need to give people their space."
"What about you?" Kitty asked archly. "How'd you turn out?"
"Me first," Jubilee demanded, morbidly curious. "What about me?"
Rahne sighed and checked the score against the quiz matrix. "It says you're too jealous by half and need to learn to share your things. And do something about your self image."
"Kitty, want to trade?"
"Got my own problems," Kitty muttered.
Rahne sighed and stared at the magazine. "Okay, here's me: I need to...cool my jets. Huh? I think about sex entirely too much and it's tiresome and pushy."
"Oy."
Silence fell, broken only by the sound of Jubilee's spoon scraping the bottom of the carton of sherbet. Kitty was first to get to her feet. "I need to go to my room and, um...check something." She phased through the door and hurried upstairs, the pseudo party breaking up behind her. She made it to her room without any interference, locking the door firmly behind her and collapsing onto her bed with a sigh. _That was just weird... How was that stupid magazine able to get all that stuff about me? _ She rose to her feet and padded over to her dresser, staring at herself morosely in the mirror for a long moment. Grimly, she shed her clothes and forced herself to look at every flaw, real and perceived, including her slightly inflamed navel. "Ten pounds," she said aloud. "Ten pounds and I'll be good." She leaned closer to the mirror and frowned at a pimple threatening at her hairline. "I'm flaky and whiney and..." she paused, her voice cracking. She could feel the old speech patterns bubbling just under the surface and winced inwardly. _ Kurt fell in love with me when I was ditzy Kitty...maybe that's what he wants. He never got mad at me then... _ She tried a smile in the mirror, ignoring her pale nudity, and said "Like, hi, Kurt! Want to go to, like, the mall or something?" Kitty frowned. "God, I sound stupid." She jumped as a familiar knock fell on her door. "Just a minute!"
Kurt smiled at her as she opened the door clad only in her pink bathrobe. "I saw Jean downstairs and she said you were already going to bed..."
"Yeah, I'm, like sooooo tired," she said with a trace of her old giggling cadence. "So, maybe tomorrow we can, like, I dunno, go see a movie or something?"
"Uh...ja, sure." He blinked rapidly, not quite sure what was wrong but knowing she did not sound "right." "Which one?"
"Oh," she giggled, "you decide! Night, Fuzzy!" She kissed him quickly and shut the door.
"That," Kurt said aloud, "was verdamtten strange..."

A/N Nemain is sick. Nemain apologizes for the short chapter but Nemain is going to go curl into a ball on her bed and ride a wave of nausea now. Longer chapters will be back Friday, when Nemain stops talking in third person.

1 We have a title...
2 Allegedly. The few I went to involved more freezing people's underwear and sneaking out at night than quizzes.
3 IMHO, soft core porn. Male version of Cosmo. With more porn elements.